SCS 73

Chapter 73

My Son

This is a story about my son.

My son is 10 years old. He is now in the 3rd grade of elementary school. He tends to be quiet and reserved. As a parent, this makes him easy to handle, which is a relief. But there is one troubling behavior he has.

He likes to torment insects.
He particularly likes to disassemble them.
And yes, while they are still alive.

At first, I thought this was just a child’s curiosity.

But as he grew older, the frequency of dissecting insects increased.
Gradually, he started showing interest in other things too, and I began to feel that his behavior was becoming increasingly abnormal.

For example, he takes great joy in watching a praying mantis eat. The prey for a mantis is other insects. He loves the process: catching a mantis → catching insects to feed it → giving the insects to the mantis. He would do this frequently and watch it with a beaming smile.

Personally, I don’t find this a pleasant sight, but I thought it was good that he was interested in nature, so I let it go.

My husband would casually say things like, “Maybe he’ll become an entomologist in the future!”

He also liked to separate insects that were mating. He would pull apart grasshoppers or dragonflies in the act of copulation.

But again, I thought this was just a child’s curiosity.

Still, my fear of my son grew.
Because normally, as children grow, they develop a sense of right and wrong, and behaviors like hurting insects should stop.

And one day, with this unease weighing on me, a decisive event occurred.

That day, my son’s room was slightly ajar, so I peeked in.
Peeking in was not unusual. I enter his room at least once a day for cleaning, so I didn’t feel resistance.

I knew my son was in the room.

“Hey, [son’s name], what are you doing?”

I called out to him while peeking in.

He turned around to face me.

He had something in his mouth.

It was a praying mantis.

A large, large mantis, held by its rear, was in his mouth.
Its forelegs were moving around his lips, twitching.

I noticed a bit of blood near his jaw. He must have been scratched by the mantis’s sharp forelegs.

“…What… are you doing?”

I was momentarily speechless.
But I forced myself to say something.

My son was mumbling with the mantis in his mouth but said nothing. He probably couldn’t speak because the insect was in his mouth.

I instinctively closed the door.

I didn’t know what to say, but I managed to say, “Insects carry germs, so you really shouldn’t do that…”

I finally got a voice out and said what I thought was harmless.

At dinner, my son ate calmly in the living room as if nothing had happened. I couldn’t say anything, but he spoke about school as usual.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell my husband about it. I still haven’t.
All he asked was, “Did you hurt your mouth? Did you cut yourself? What happened?” My son simply replied, “The mantis scratched me.”

My husband never imagined that my son had been eating the mantis. He just said, “Oh, I see… mantises are pretty strong, huh?”

I don’t understand it at all. Why did my son do such a thing?
I can’t even imagine eating insects.
Even though he is my own child, I am terrified. Did I fail in raising him?

Since then, he has continued dissecting insects.

Even now, he might be eating a mantis in his room.

I no longer know how to relate to him…

All I can feel now is worry that my son might be a psychopath and could become a criminal in the future.