~Chapter 103~Â
Ricardo had always hidden behind a defensive attitude, but for the first time, it felt like his mask had come off.
However, his eyes slowly dimmed, as if he found his true self disgusting.
Old memories came flooding back like a fountain.
I remembered my young self crying alone in a tiny closet out of loneliness. I remembered pretending to be okay while secretly blaming him.
And at the end of those memories, you were there. I couldnât take my eyes off Ricardo for a while.
âI didnât want to hurt you anymore⌠but in the end, I made the worst choice,â Ricardo said.
It was something from the pastâwhen Bianca had tormented him.
I had already sent him a letter of apology, and Ricardo had forgiven her. Since then, he had acted like it was no big deal.
This was just like that.
Some might say it was just a simple apology, but it made me feel a bit lighter inside.
âRicardo.â
âI didnât want to say all this messily while feeling corneredâŚâ
Before he could finish, I gently stopped him.
âIâm okay.â
But his eyes were still filled with shadows. His lips tightened.
ââŚDonât you feel relieved?â
I couldnât help but ask what had been on my mind. Finally, he slowly nodded.
âIs he still feeling guilty?â
That thought crossed my mind. But I couldnât solve that for him.
Only time could.
I had found my own peace of mind, and for now, that was enough for me.
***
A few days later.
“Long time no see.”
Onyx approached me warmly. He was here because of my earlier letter asking if I could accompany him to Dremokan.
“Thank you for accepting my sudden request.”
“Not at all. I was actually concerned about Sir Glasterâs situation.”
Onyx gave a kind smile.
“The Roygin family knows Dremokan better than anyone. Your help will be valuable for our research. Itâs about the magic of the Holy Era and its legal implications on Dremokan.”
…What?
Just then…
“Miss Bianca!”
I heard Idetteâs familiar voice.
I hadnât expected to see her here, so I stood in shock. Idette noticed immediately and spoke.
“You said in a letter that you had a favor to ask me. I couldnât concentrate at work because I kept thinking about it.”
“I-Iâm sorry! That wasnât my intention…”
“Itâs okay. Honestly, I have trouble focusing anyway.”
She added that I shouldnât worry.
“Then I heard you were visiting Dremokan, so I figured I could meet you on the way and settle my curiosity.”
“Ah.”
“But what brings you to Dremokan, Miss Bianca?”
She glanced at Onyx like she was wondering what our connection was.
“Uh… your research. The magic of the Holy Era?”
“The magic of the Holy Era and its legal implications on Dremokan,” Onyx said proudly.
Right. That.
“Miss Roygin is helping us with our research.”
Idette looked confused for a moment but nodded politely.
“W-Wow, that sounds amazing!”
Not really. I have no idea what itâs about…
Worried that I might be exposed, I quickly changed the topic.
“You said we were heading the same way…”
I trailed off, realizing I didnât know where she was going.
Idette smiled awkwardly.
“Iâm going to the royal palace.”
Then itâs not the same direction!
“Thereâs a meeting today, related to Dremokan.”
âIs it a continuation of the last one?â
“You knew? Yes. Since Lord Peril woke up, and the World Treeâs form has changed, they think itâs related.”
I sighed silently.
“I was concerned, so I spoke to Erkessian…”
She stopped, probably remembering I wasnât close to him. Then she quickly smiled and changed the subject.
“Anyway, I came to hear your favor! So what is it?”
“Actually…”
I carefully asked if I could meet her father. She seemed surprised but quickly agreed, though she still looked puzzled.
“…Is that all? Thatâs such a small favor.”
“It may seem small, but itâs something only you can do.”
Who else could I ask, after all?
At that moment, Onyx called to me.
“Miss Bianca, itâs time. We should head in.”
I finally checked the time and smiled at Idette.
“Thank you for coming. Safe travels to the palace.”
“You too, Miss Bianca.”
She waved softly.
***
In front of the royal conference room.
Ricardo fixed his clothes and rubbed his tired face.
He had tried to avoid the worst possible outcome, but instead, he had chosen it.
His mind was a mess of harsh thoughts.
â…Was she really okay?â
She had always lied. He kept falling for her lies and realized it too late.
No, he had known they were lies. But he still chose to believe her. She always smiled so brightly when she lied.
He was drawn to that smile. So much so, he couldnât even think straight.
âWhy am I still the same…â
He felt stupid. He had once thought he knew her better than anyone, but now he wasnât so sure.
Was it really true when she said she was okay?
Should he believe her again this time?
He didnât know anything anymore. Maybe she forgave him because she was just kind.
He almost wished she had gotten angryâso he could feel like he mattered.
If she didnât recognize his worth, he couldnât define himself.
That was Ricardoâs belief.
A child who never received love grew into an adult who needed others to acknowledge his existence. Only then could he breathe. Thatâs how he chose to survive.
âNo, I just…â
On the wind, he heard her laughterâsoft and crumbling like a fragile dream.
Even though it was just an illusion, Ricardo held his breath.
He just didnât want her to be hurt.
But against his wish, her image started to break apart.
The countless fragments reflected him.
It was none other than Ricardoâhis true self.
“Why are you still not inside?”
Leonhartâs voice called out from behind.
“Were you waiting for me?”
He tilted his head with a cheerful smile.
The way he wagged his tail like a happy puppy in front of her was annoying.
An outsider who had barged into Ricardoâs perfect world.
Ricardo clenched his fist.
Would it feel even a little satisfying to see that handsome face smeared with blood?
…But sheâd probably hate him for it more than he imagined.
âGood timing. I actually have something to say to you.â
Judging by Leonhartâs face, the feeling was mutual.
This is it, rejection incoming