~Chapter 103~Ā
Ricardo had always hidden behind a defensive attitude, but for the first time, it felt like his mask had come off.
However, his eyes slowly dimmed, as if he found his true self disgusting.
Old memories came flooding back like a fountain.
I remembered my young self crying alone in a tiny closet out of loneliness. I remembered pretending to be okay while secretly blaming him.
And at the end of those memories, you were there. I couldnāt take my eyes off Ricardo for a while.
āI didnāt want to hurt you anymore⦠but in the end, I made the worst choice,ā Ricardo said.
It was something from the pastāwhen Bianca had tormented him.
I had already sent him a letter of apology, and Ricardo had forgiven her. Since then, he had acted like it was no big deal.
This was just like that.
Some might say it was just a simple apology, but it made me feel a bit lighter inside.
āRicardo.ā
āI didnāt want to say all this messily while feeling corneredā¦ā
Before he could finish, I gently stopped him.
āIām okay.ā
But his eyes were still filled with shadows. His lips tightened.
āā¦Donāt you feel relieved?ā
I couldnāt help but ask what had been on my mind. Finally, he slowly nodded.
āIs he still feeling guilty?ā
That thought crossed my mind. But I couldnāt solve that for him.
Only time could.
I had found my own peace of mind, and for now, that was enough for me.
***
A few days later.
“Long time no see.”
Onyx approached me warmly. He was here because of my earlier letter asking if I could accompany him to Dremokan.
“Thank you for accepting my sudden request.”
“Not at all. I was actually concerned about Sir Glasterās situation.”
Onyx gave a kind smile.
“The Roygin family knows Dremokan better than anyone. Your help will be valuable for our research. Itās about the magic of the Holy Era and its legal implications on Dremokan.”
…What?
Just then…
“Miss Bianca!”
I heard Idetteās familiar voice.
I hadnāt expected to see her here, so I stood in shock. Idette noticed immediately and spoke.
“You said in a letter that you had a favor to ask me. I couldnāt concentrate at work because I kept thinking about it.”
“I-Iām sorry! That wasnāt my intention…”
“Itās okay. Honestly, I have trouble focusing anyway.”
She added that I shouldnāt worry.
“Then I heard you were visiting Dremokan, so I figured I could meet you on the way and settle my curiosity.”
“Ah.”
“But what brings you to Dremokan, Miss Bianca?”
She glanced at Onyx like she was wondering what our connection was.
“Uh… your research. The magic of the Holy Era?”
“The magic of the Holy Era and its legal implications on Dremokan,” Onyx said proudly.
Right. That.
“Miss Roygin is helping us with our research.”
Idette looked confused for a moment but nodded politely.
“W-Wow, that sounds amazing!”
Not really. I have no idea what itās about…
Worried that I might be exposed, I quickly changed the topic.
“You said we were heading the same way…”
I trailed off, realizing I didnāt know where she was going.
Idette smiled awkwardly.
“Iām going to the royal palace.”
Then itās not the same direction!
“Thereās a meeting today, related to Dremokan.”
āIs it a continuation of the last one?ā
“You knew? Yes. Since Lord Peril woke up, and the World Treeās form has changed, they think itās related.”
I sighed silently.
“I was concerned, so I spoke to Erkessian…”
She stopped, probably remembering I wasnāt close to him. Then she quickly smiled and changed the subject.
“Anyway, I came to hear your favor! So what is it?”
“Actually…”
I carefully asked if I could meet her father. She seemed surprised but quickly agreed, though she still looked puzzled.
“…Is that all? Thatās such a small favor.”
“It may seem small, but itās something only you can do.”
Who else could I ask, after all?
At that moment, Onyx called to me.
“Miss Bianca, itās time. We should head in.”
I finally checked the time and smiled at Idette.
“Thank you for coming. Safe travels to the palace.”
“You too, Miss Bianca.”
She waved softly.
***
In front of the royal conference room.
Ricardo fixed his clothes and rubbed his tired face.
He had tried to avoid the worst possible outcome, but instead, he had chosen it.
His mind was a mess of harsh thoughts.
ā…Was she really okay?ā
She had always lied. He kept falling for her lies and realized it too late.
No, he had known they were lies. But he still chose to believe her. She always smiled so brightly when she lied.
He was drawn to that smile. So much so, he couldnāt even think straight.
āWhy am I still the same…ā
He felt stupid. He had once thought he knew her better than anyone, but now he wasnāt so sure.
Was it really true when she said she was okay?
Should he believe her again this time?
He didnāt know anything anymore. Maybe she forgave him because she was just kind.
He almost wished she had gotten angryāso he could feel like he mattered.
If she didnāt recognize his worth, he couldnāt define himself.
That was Ricardoās belief.
A child who never received love grew into an adult who needed others to acknowledge his existence. Only then could he breathe. Thatās how he chose to survive.
āNo, I just…ā
On the wind, he heard her laughterāsoft and crumbling like a fragile dream.
Even though it was just an illusion, Ricardo held his breath.
He just didnāt want her to be hurt.
But against his wish, her image started to break apart.
The countless fragments reflected him.
It was none other than Ricardoāhis true self.
“Why are you still not inside?”
Leonhartās voice called out from behind.
“Were you waiting for me?”
He tilted his head with a cheerful smile.
The way he wagged his tail like a happy puppy in front of her was annoying.
An outsider who had barged into Ricardoās perfect world.
Ricardo clenched his fist.
Would it feel even a little satisfying to see that handsome face smeared with blood?
…But sheād probably hate him for it more than he imagined.
āGood timing. I actually have something to say to you.ā
Judging by Leonhartās face, the feeling was mutual.
This is it, rejection incoming