TVWRDWMEHHSL 04

Chapter 4: The Regressed Villainess Learns What It Means to Be Loved

I decided to enter a convent.

And on that very same day, I was already about to board a carriage.

Once I made up my mind, it was better to act quickly.

“Why so suddenly…!?”

Father stood at the entrance, clearly flustered.

I was grateful he came to see me off. If I entered the convent like this, it would likely be a farewell for this lifetime. It meant he cared enough to regret parting with me.

Mother was there as well.

She hadn’t come to my room earlier—perhaps she had been waiting in the dining hall since it was breakfast time?

“Even if you plan to enter a convent, shouldn’t you take more time to prepare? You may not know this, but even convents that accept noble daughters have their own ranks.”

I know that.

Though I look like a child now, I’ve already experienced much.

Convents that primarily accept noble daughters are very different from ordinary ones. They are lavishly built so that noble girls can live comfortably without inconvenience.

Naturally, maintaining such facilities requires enormous donations—paid by the families of those noble daughters.

If I wanted to enter one of those “special” convents, I would need to prepare a suitable donation.

He must think I’m an ignorant girl who doesn’t even understand that.

“I understand. Entering a convent for nobles requires the proper arrangements and funds, correct?”

“And you still…!?”

“But I’ve already caused Father and Mother enough trouble. I cannot impose any more unnecessary expenses on you.”

“What are you saying!? Then what do you intend to do!?”

Mother remained silent behind us. The conversation continued only with Father.

“I plan to enter a regular convent—not one for nobles. There, no donations are required. As long as one has a devout heart to serve God, they will accept me.”

“That’s absurd!”

Father almost cried out.

“Elt… who told you such things? It’s true that noble convents are convents in name only—luxurious places that serve as a kind of enclosure for spoiled noble daughters. But true convents devoted to God are entirely different.”

“Yes. They are bound by strict rules, and one must perform all tasks necessary for survival by oneself. Luxury is considered a vice, and one must live in poverty. It would be a harsh environment for someone like me, who has been pampered as a duke’s daughter.”

“And you understand all that?”

Yes.

But no matter how harsh or poor that life may be, it would not be much different from staying here.

To live as a noble daughter who cannot use magic—looked down upon and scorned by everyone, enduring humiliation every day—

And to know that all that endurance would lead to nothing.

Rather than repeating such meaningless suffering, I thought it better to live a strict but humble life, seeking solace in faith.

In this inexplicable second life…

If it was truly a gift from God, then perhaps I should live in gratitude for it.

“That is why I will go to God. Father, Mother—thank you for allowing a failure like me to remain in this house until now.”

“Don’t say such things…!”

“It is the truth.”

In my previous life, I would never have said something like that aloud.

I knew it, but I refused to accept it. To acknowledge it would have meant denying myself.

Perhaps it was because I had already died once that I could now accept it so easily.

Or perhaps…

I wanted to atone.

In my past life, I hurt many people in my pursuit of becoming the Crown Prince’s consort. A convent might be the perfect place to repent for those sins.

“As a final selfish request, please lend me a carriage to the convent. From now on, please live in peace.”

I turned on my heel and placed a foot on the carriage step.

At that very moment, I was suddenly pulled back.

“No!!”

“Mother?”

Mother clung to me tightly, wrapping her arms around me.

I couldn’t move—couldn’t even board the carriage.

She had been silent all this time… why now?

“Elt is my daughter! No matter what anyone says, she is my daughter! I will never let her go!!”

She cried like a child, holding me as if she would never let anyone take me away.

I had never seen Mother like this before, and I was completely bewildered.

…Could it be that, on the night before my execution in my previous life—when only Father came to see me—

Mother wasn’t there because she was crying like this… unable to do anything?

“When we first learned you had no magic, she cried the same way,” Father said bitterly. “‘She is my daughter,’ she said. ‘I won’t let her go anywhere.’”

“You wouldn’t remember—you were too young. A noble with no magic is unheard of. Quietly sending you away… or even killing you… from the perspective of preserving the family, those were the most reasonable options anyone would consider.”

…That’s true.

Mother must have thought of it too. And yet, she resisted.

I had always wondered—

Why did they keep me, someone so abnormal for a noble, instead of disowning me?

“…Perhaps I made a mistake in how I raised you,” Father said.

Those were the same words he spoke at the end of my previous life.

“Your efforts were too painful to watch. I hesitated to say anything careless. You are a girl who truly tries her best—always searching for what you should do, and once you find it, you never hesitate to pursue it. You run forward with everything you have.”

“That’s not…”

I started to deny it, but fell silent.

I had convinced myself that becoming Crown Princess was the only way to prove my worth as a noble. I went too far, hurt many people… and ultimately destroyed myself.

If that wasn’t recklessness, then what was?

“We should have spoken with you more. Even now, you’re trying to come to a conclusion on your own and leave our hands. You should rely on your parents more. You’re still a child.”

“Yes.”

“When you said you would stop studying magic, I was about to say something. Let me finish that now.”

Father knelt down to meet my eyes.

“Would you like to return to our territory?”

“To our territory?”

“Yes. The land granted to our Eldenvalk family by the royal family. Here in the capital, many nobles live. That’s why your inability to use magic stands out and becomes a target of cruel rumors. But once you leave the capital, most people are commoners. Only nobles can use magic. To them, you are not so unusual.”

We were currently living in the royal capital.

In my previous life, I had spent almost my entire life here.

I believed it was only natural for nobles to live in the capital—and that if I left, I would cease to be a noble entirely.

“Perhaps we should have withdrawn to our territory much earlier. But we clung to the hope that you might one day gain magic, and we stayed. Meanwhile, you grew up and devoted yourself to obtaining magic.”

So that’s why they couldn’t say anything.

They were thinking of me.

Most of the kingdom’s population were commoners—meaning most people couldn’t use magic.

Yet the capital gathered nobles, and social interactions flourished there.

That’s why someone like me became a curiosity.

“Of course, we won’t send you alone. Your mother and I will go with you. A family stays together. That’s why we will never send you to a convent.”

“But then… Father’s work in the capital…”

“Managing our territory is also a noble’s duty. No one has the right to complain. Especially now—I don’t hold any important post at the castle.”

Could it be…

Had Father remained without a position so he could return with me at any time?

Some nobles even married off their daughters for political gain…

And yet—

“No matter the reason… what parent would abandon their child?”

…I’m such a fool.

In my previous life, I never realized something so simple. I just ran forward alone.

I never noticed that I was loved.

I should have listened to others more.

If I had, perhaps I wouldn’t have made such foolish mistakes.

But time has been turned back.

Those I hurt in my previous life… that reality has been erased. They are likely living their lives anew.

Perhaps the meaning of this second chance is to pray for their happiness.

That is all someone like me—a foolish girl who tried to become Crown Princess without magic—can do.

“I understand, Father, Mother. I will go to our territory.”