Chapter 12: This Isn’t Jealousy
That night, when Hyler gave him Elika’s diary, there wasn’t a single line about Herbert.
“I made a new friend.”
That one sentence was the only thing that might be related.
“Hyler, keep an eye on Elika. Especially her relationships with men.”
Hyler stopped mid-yawn and looked at Charon.
Since a governess also watches a lady’s behavior, not just her studies, Charon’s request wasn’t too strange.
“Well… sure. But Elika doesn’t seem interested in that kind of thing.
She still acts like a kid, honestly.”
“Have you already forgotten what kind of woman she was? She seduced men and controlled politics.”
“Elika now is completely different from the one before.
She’s so pure and cheerful—”
Hyler trailed off when he sensed Charon’s cold glare.
“…Sorry.”
He added quietly.
Charon rubbed his forehead and spoke in a tired voice.
“…You didn’t see what I saw.
It… it wasn’t something a human could’ve done.”
Terrible memories came rushing back.
Piles of corpses, rivers of blood.
An old woman hugging her grandchild as they died, lovers who held hands to the end, a boy stabbed trying to save a friend.
“She came into my dreams again last night.
The burned-down mansion, the courtyard filled with blood,
my grandmother’s body under the tree, corpses stacked in the streets…
And that woman looking at it all like it was a joke.”
Charon paused to catch his breath.
“Hyler, do you know what people call me?”
“Of course.
The ‘Light of Carlyle’—the noble leader who will guide the empire’s future.”
Charon let out a dry laugh.
“That ‘Light of Carlyle’—do you know what he was thinking while killing the same person over and over again?”
“…?”
“‘Please, just die this time.’
Trying to kill a monster turned me into one too.
Don’t you think so?”
Hyler thought: He’s not a monster—just a poor soul suffering from a tragedy only he remembers.
“…If I can stop that woman, I’ll do anything.”
Hyler didn’t respond.
It wasn’t something meant for him—it sounded more like a vow to himself.
* * *
Early morning, in the hallway.
Charon stopped when he heard soft footsteps from the other end.
They were trying to be quiet, but the sound was clumsy.
He already knew who it was.
Soon, Elika appeared, holding a laundry basket and humming a tune—she seemed in a good mood.
But when she saw the duke, she froze, then quickly stepped aside and bowed politely.
Charon started walking again.
Step. Step. Just as he passed her, he stopped.
“…It’s better to write your diary more honestly.”
Elika looked up.
That cold, beautiful face turned toward her.
“If it’s something you can’t write about, don’t do it in the first place.”
“…What?”
Elika’s purple eyes trembled.
Write her diary more honestly? She had never lied in it.
Maybe the problem was not writing down every detail?
But her tutor, Miss Izantine, told her diaries should focus on personal thoughts and memorable events—not every little thing.
“Your Grace… what do you mean…?”
“Elika.”
His voice fell heavy.
His cold blue eyes locked onto her like he was interrogating her.
“I’m giving you a chance.”
His firm and icy voice reminded her of her place.
He was her master and sponsor. If something was wrong, it was her fault.
“…Yes, Your Grace. I’ll be careful.”
Elika bowed deeply.
Charon looked briefly at her small head of silvery hair, then walked away in silence.
* * *
A few days passed quickly.
Charon was incredibly busy.
Spring break was ending, and he had mountains of work to do before returning to the military academy.
He had to inspect the estate, handle business, and socialize with nobles.
It all felt meaningless compared to stopping that wicked woman, but still, it had to be done.
All for the sake of Blanse—the land he couldn’t save in the future only he remembered.
“Everything’s running smoothly. Looks like you don’t need me anymore.”
The old lady joked.
But Charon couldn’t laugh.
* * *
One night, as Elika was leaving the library after studying, someone blocked her path.
“It’s me, Herbert.”
Seeing how startled she was, he spoke gently to calm her.
“Herbert! You’re back!”
Elika had heard through others that he went to his hometown for his sister’s wedding.
“Did you give her the ranunculus?”
“Yeah, thanks to you. She really loved it.”
“That’s great! You must be tired. What are you doing here?”
“I was waiting for you.”
Herbert pulled something from his pocket and handed her a small cloth pouch.
“Here, take this.”
Elika took it, a little confused.
“What is it?”
“Open it.”
She untied the string and held it up to the lantern light.
Inside were five or six tiny black seeds.
“Freesia seeds.”
Elika looked up at him with wide, bunny-like eyes.
“I couldn’t find fresh ones, but I learned how to grow them.
Let’s plant them together. I’m sure they’ll bloom.”
“Herbert…”
Elika clutched the seed pouch tightly and looked at him with misty eyes.
“You’re the best friend ever!”
And she hugged him tight.
* * *
They headed to a quiet storage shed.
They planned to use some old, unused flowerpots and fill them with soil to plant the seeds.
“They say everything in the shed belongs to the nobles, so we shouldn’t touch it.”
Elika whispered as Herbert took down a pot with a clatter.
“Don’t worry. The duke probably doesn’t even know this shed exists.”
He found a decent pot, blew off the dust, and smiled playfully.
Behind the shed, under a wall lantern, they filled the pot with soil and planted the seeds.
They watered it with the garden pump.
Elika carefully lifted the pot with both hands.
The sleeping seeds would soon break through the soil and bloom into bright yellow flowers.
She planned to give them to the duke.
“To thank him for helping me grow so well.”
Just imagining the duke smiling at her made her heart race.
“I wonder if there’s a way to make flowers bloom faster.”
“Nature can’t be rushed.”
Elika looked up at him skeptically, and Herbert smiled.
“Be patient, miss.”
Suddenly, he spotted something crawling in her hair.
It was a thumb-sized spider.
“Elika, hold still.”
He reached behind her and flicked it off.
“What was that?”
“Just a leaf.”
He smiled and turned around.
“Let’s go. I’ll walk you back.”
But someone was watching them.
“Isn’t that the maid the duke is sponsoring?”
A man whispered.
“Elika, right? Looks like her.”
The woman replied.
“And the guy next to her is…”
“Leverot.”
“That’s it! Herbert Leverot, the junior knight.”
The woman was Mishi, a kitchen maid. The man was Billn, a stable hand.
They had been sneaking off to the bushes behind the shed for some private time but stopped when they heard someone.
“You think they saw us?”
* * *
Mishi and Billn had been using that spot behind the shed for a while.
There were a few close calls before, but nothing serious.
“I heard there’s a couple meeting behind the north gate storage at night.”
“Who could it be? Any maids getting close to men lately?”
The very next day, Mishi overheard this and panicked.
She blurted out something she didn’t need to say.
“It’s Elika and Sir Leverot.”
When others looked at her suspiciously, she quickly added,
“I-I saw them the other day.”
* * *
Rumors like that spread fast.
“Elika, Elika. Did you go to the storage near the north gate recently?”
Some maids she barely knew rushed over and asked excitedly.
“I’m not sure if it was that one, but I did go to a shed.”
“At night?”
“Yeah.”
The maids exchanged knowing looks and whispered as they walked away.
Elika stood there, confused.
Marie, standing nearby, tilted her head.
“Did someone steal something from the shed?”
When Elika turned to her in shock, Marie added quickly,
“Ah, don’t worry. If you didn’t steal anything, it’s fine.”
“…!”
But it wasn’t fine.
The flowerpot!
Elika’s heart began to pound.
What if taking the flowerpot was a mistake?!
* * *
Ever since that girl came, there hadn’t been a day of peace.
No—ever since his regression.
No—since he lost his parents at age ten and became a duke.
All he had was responsibility. His life was dry and joyless.
The only thing that gave him purpose now was “I must stop her.”
It was a sad irony.
Even that made him feel empty.
So he rode his horse every morning, letting the wind clear his mind.
That short moment after horseback riding was his only freedom.
And then, one morning, after returning to the stable—
“…It was Elika and Sir Leverot behind the shed near the north gate?”
A stable boy’s voice reached his ears.
“Yeah.”
It was Billn.
Mishi told him to spread the rumor to cover up their own actions.
“Elika? The one the duke sponsors? Isn’t she a bit young?”
“She looks like she’ll grow into a real beauty.
Honestly, I don’t think he even needs to wait until she—Oh! Your Grace!”
One servant jumped up in panic, and the others turned too.
The duke was approaching, leading his horse.
“Oh! Good morning, sir. Let me take the horse.”
Charon handed over the reins and looked at the others.
“You all seem to have a lot of free time—gossiping about nonsense.”
“W-We weren’t, sir—”
“Say whatever you want. But if it’s about someone I sponsor, you’d better watch your mouths.”
The servants looked ready to explain, but Charon turned and walked away.
Servants gossiping wasn’t anything new.
Not something he usually cared about.
“…Elika and Leverot…”
But this time, it bothered him.
More than he wanted to admit.
