TPA 19

Chapter 19

A Night of Sexual Anesthesia (6)

It was very early morning.

A man and a woman were tangled together messily, heedless of the biting cold wind. The woman cried out in pleasure as she rolled her hips, and the man matched her rhythm, drawing out her satisfaction.

It was the same as always.

Only one of them reached climax. The one lost in pleasure, eyes hazy and unfocused, looked happier and more fulfilled than anyone in the world.

Libido was sick and tired of this endlessly repeated situation.

With a hardened expression, he dressed himself.

“You’re leaving already?”

“…….”

“There’s still plenty of time. Stay a bit longer and have some more fun.”

This act was clearly supposed to be the most perfect and instinctive one—something that surpassed the satisfaction of any other human desire.

Humans were made that way, after all. Yet Libido felt no satisfaction whatsoever.

He felt nothing. Though his sexual function was perfectly normal, time spent with women was always unfulfilling.

“I didn’t enjoy it at all.”

“Oh my, was I not good enough?”

“Not even close.”

“I’ll try harder this time. So stay just a little longer.”

The woman before him was flawlessly beautiful.

A slim waist, full breasts and hips, slender wrists and ankles, and porcelain-white skin—sensual enough that no man could possibly refuse her.

And yet, none of it stirred him in the slightest. It was genuinely boring. Tedious. Dull.

No different from everyday life.

“Sorry, but you’re not it.”

“Pardon?”

Thud! With that sound, her head flew clean off.

The head that had been chirping like a lark rolled across the floor and slammed into a corner. Blood gushed up like a fountain, soaking the cold floor.

He looked down at his own hands, drenched in blood.

When will it end?

When would this loathsome cycle finally stop?

When would this emptiness disappear? It was truly unpleasant. The hollowness that came after the act—afterward—was utterly repulsive.

He wanted to erase this sensation of having an empty chest. He was sick of it now. Completely fed up. When would he finally meet someone who could fill this void?

Exhausted by endlessly repeating time, one face suddenly came to mind.

A very ordinary woman’s face.

For some reason, just thinking of her made him smile.

He felt like he would feel better if he met her in person, so he returned straight to his mansion, showered, and changed out of his bloodstained clothes.

Once he was ready, he left the house to meet her.

In truth, Misa was a very regular person.

Libido knew—having heard it from his underlings—that she always left home around 7:20 a.m. to go to work. Checking the watch on his wrist, a faint smile tugged at his lips.

She’ll be coming out soon.

No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than the tightly shut door opened.

“She comes out at the exact same time every day, without even a minute’s difference. More diligent than I expected.”

After having someone observe her in advance, he had learned that she was far more special than he had initially thought.

She was a hunter well respected even within the Investigation Bureau, with many major achievements to her name—more than enough to earn the trust of other hunters.

Her mother had been murdered by beastfolk, and that incident had driven her to become a hunter. She was especially skilled with firearms, and he wanted to see that skill with his own eyes.

As Libido mentally listed the details he had learned about Misa, he jumped down from the tree and leisurely followed behind her.

Morning commute hours were actually an ideal time for him.

It was when the annoying white wolf was temporarily away from her side.

“Good morning.”

Misa, who had been jogging lightly ahead, came to a sudden stop and turned around.

He expected her to be startled, but to his surprise, her reaction was calm.

“You must be bored.”

“Bored? I’m hunting, in my own way.”

“Don’t tell me your prey is me.”

“That’s right.”

Despite the chilling content of the conversation, their voices remained remarkably even.

And Misa’s composure was enough to pique Libido’s curiosity and interest.

“You’re not trembling like before.”

“Because I know you’re not a foolish predator who’d tear into me right here.”

“Quite accurate.”

Misa turned forward and began running again. Libido matched her pace at her side.

“On your way to work?”

“No.”

“Then?”

“Normally I would be, but I’m on forced leave right now. So I came out to exercise. If I rest too much, my body stiffens.”

“I see.”

“By the way, what do you want?”

“Do I need a reason just to see you?”

“Yes. We’re not close enough to meet without a reason, are we?”

Her bold reply inexplicably put him in a good mood.

He didn’t know why, but the unpleasant feeling he’d had earlier vanished completely. Coming to see this woman had been the right decision.

“If I had to name one, I’d call it observation.”

“Observation?”

“A small process of examining and getting to know one’s prey.”

“What a nasty hobby.”

“Thanks to it, my hunting success rate is nearly perfect.”

Though she appeared calm, Misa was tense.

Her mind knew he wouldn’t attack her right now, but her instincts couldn’t be suppressed. Continuing the conversation calmly was a way to hide her tension.

“By the way, what was your name again?”

“Libido.”

“Strangely neat name for someone like you. Who gave it to you? The woman who made you?”

“That’s right. Rena gave it to me.”

Seeing how unexpectedly straightforward he was, Misa thought she might be able to extract information from him.

She decided to probe him a little further.

“How old are you? I hear Ul is already over a thousand.”

“I’m younger than that, so don’t worry. A little over five hundred.”

“Were you human too?”

“Yes. Once.”

“You’re answering very honestly.”

“Because it wouldn’t cause much trouble even if you knew.”

Misa stopped in front of a drink stand.

Libido, knowing she always bought a strawberry shake here before work, stepped ahead of her, ordered one, and paid.

“Do you enjoy digging into people’s backgrounds? You even know pointless things like this.”

“Not just me. Every beastfolk around here is watching you.”

“…….”

“You can’t help being interesting, right?”

Smiling, Libido handed the strawberry shake to Misa.

“What a childish taste.”

“What’s wrong with strawberry shakes?”

“They’re cute.”

“……Stick to the point.”

The gentle smile on his face was nearly perfect. Misa glared at him, feeling wronged all over again.

“I know you’re beastfolk. Whatever tricks you try, I won’t fall for them.”

“I don’t intend to do anything to you right now.”

“Then could you get lost? Why are you wasting my time?”

“Wasting time? This is a very precious and important time.”

“Is this how you seduced other women?”

“I never intentionally seduced anyone. Usually, they came on their own.”

An incredibly arrogant statement—but Misa found herself agreeing to some extent.

Even knowing he was beastfolk, she occasionally found herself swayed by him. How much worse must it have been for those who didn’t know?

“If I didn’t know what you were, I probably would’ve fallen for it.”

“My prey all thought I was human. Even at the moment they were hunted, they never realized they were dying.”

Misa, sipping her strawberry shake at a table, flinched.

Was it because of the cold drink—or because the grotesque words coming from the mouth of a perfectly normal-looking man were so chilling? A shiver ran down her spine.

She forced herself to stay alert.

She tried to act calm, but she couldn’t stop her fingers from trembling.

“If hunting was your goal, was all that trouble really necessary?”

“Who knows.”

“You could’ve just killed them right away and eaten them. Isn’t that your kind’s nature?”

“Eating? I don’t do such vulgar things.”

Resting his chin on his hand, Libido smiled leisurely.

“I just wasn’t satisfied.”

“…….”

“I simply got bored quickly.”

Yes—he simply grew tired of them. He was disappointed. They hadn’t been worth the time he invested, and that angered him.

“Not even one? Is that even possible?”

“…….”

“What I want isn’t much. Peak pleasure. Just that one thing.”

“Peak pleasure? What is that? Don’t tell me that’s what you want from me too?”

Libido fell silent at Misa’s question.

He wasn’t certain enough of his own feelings to give a definite answer.

Under the pretense of observing someone to be wary of, he couldn’t clearly tell whether he wanted something else from her—or what that might be.

“Who knows.”

“…….”

“But I do feel like you’re different from the women I’ve met so far.”

What he wanted was truly simple.

He wanted to experience the product of desire felt in a brief, fleeting moment. He wanted to taste ultimate pleasure.

Others experienced it easily, routinely—but not him. He had been born lacking, unable to be satisfied.

“What is that pleasure, exactly?”

Sexual anesthesia, one might call it.

“An orgasm.”

At the single word that slipped from Libido’s lips, Misa was left speechless. She set her strawberry shake down.

“Then what you want is—”

He slowly reached out and skillfully wiped the shake from the corner of her mouth with his finger.

Staring at the shake on his fingertip, he let out a soft chuckle and lightly licked it.

Leaning toward the statue-still Misa, he whispered leisurely, as if driving a nail in.

“I keep finding myself interested in you.”

“…….”

“I want to hunt you.”

His beastlike, relentless gaze seemed to pierce straight through her.

It was undeniably offensive and rude.

Yet at the same time, the person saying it with a smile was disturbingly attractive, and against her will, she felt her blood surge with excitement.

“Sorry, but I have absolutely no intention of that.”

“I know.”

It felt like a carbonated drink on the verge of bursting suddenly going flat.

“That’s disappointing. In the end, your goal is just sex—to feel an orgasm.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure myself.”

“What?”

“An orgasm is the greatest pleasure and happiness a human can feel, right? I’m curious what it feels like. I’ve never felt happiness in my life. That’s why I crave it. Is it wrong to pursue happiness?”

“Your methods are wrong. Just because women didn’t satisfy you doesn’t mean they deserved to be killed.”

“They’d become quite a nuisance if left alive.”

If his goal was simply to overcome sexual anesthesia and experience orgasm, did he really need to go through the trouble of seducing prey?

He had more than enough power to overpower anyone.

“So you don’t force yourself on them?”

“That sort of ungentlemanly behavior isn’t to my taste.”

“There’s nothing more ungentlemanly than murder.”

“For beastfolk, it’s just hunting. You can shove your human moral standards at us all you want—it’s pointless. This is how we’re made, and how we must live.”

“You all say the same thing.”

“It’s a difference in interests.”

“So rape is ungentlemanly, but seducing women instead is fine?”

“Sex that’s unilaterally imposed by one side isn’t love.”

“Love? A man who uses women just to feel an orgasm is talking about love?”

At the word sexual anesthesia, Libido’s brow twitched subtly, but he quickly regained his composure.

In a calm voice, he countered her words.

“Beastfolk have hearts too. Why couldn’t we love?”

“…….”

“I don’t know exactly what it is. But they say it’s a thrilling, happy emotion. I want to feel it once. Is that so bad?”

“Love itself isn’t bad. But you—someone who kills humans at will—are.”

Libido tilted his head at her words.

“I tried quite hard.”

“…….”

“But they only gave me emptiness, never enough to be worth the time and effort I invested. It wasn’t enjoyable.”

“That’s probably because even if they loved you, you never loved them. Love doesn’t exist in one-sided emotions like that.”

At Misa’s words, Libido looked stunned, as if he’d been struck on the head with a heavy hammer.

He seemed genuinely surprised.

Then he let out a low chuckle and laughed lightly.

“That might be true.”

What was so funny? Misa frowned, unable to understand, and stared at him.

As she looked at Libido with a dissatisfied expression, a thought suddenly flashed through her mind, and her face hardened.

“Wait—do you live around here?”

At the sudden question, Libido calmly nodded.

“I’ve lived here all along.”

“You said you met many women. And that none of them satisfied you.”

“That’s right.”

“Did you kill them?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“As painlessly as possible. I slit their throats.”

She had suspected it.

The word sexual anesthesia had made her briefly wonder whether this man was the culprit behind that infamous series of murders.

The reason not a single trace of the suspect’s bodily fluids was found… is because he never once reached climax.

The criminal behind the cold case was right in front of her.

And he was openly confessing.

“The Investigation Bureau has only been investigating for a year, but I’ve been repeating this long before that—ever since I was born beastfolk.”

“You say that like you’re proud, you disgusting piece of trash.”

“You must’ve heard it from that wolf. The desire to kill is our innate instinct.”

“…….”

“Let me ask you this—can humans live practicing abstinence?”

Desire is a primal instinct.

All human life—eating, sleeping, living—is built on basic desires.

“Can you humans live your whole lives without eating what you want?”

Without sleeping when you want to?

“You humans never even try to understand us.”

“Aren’t you the same? Are you saying we should understand your kind, who slaughter us indiscriminately?”

“I don’t expect understanding. I know it’s impossible.”

Their interests are different—something that will never be reconciled, no matter how much time passes.

If anything, it only deepens.

Humans and beastfolk can never be allies.

Just like a lion and a deer can never be allies.

“That’s a look of horror.”

“It is horrifying.”

“Don’t forget—the man you live with is beastfolk too.”

“At least he’s trying to live differently. He’s trying to live like a human. Don’t lump him in with you.”

“Why go through such pointless effort? It’s impossible from the start.”

“It’s not impossible. He’s doing well, and he’ll continue to do well.”

Why would a beastfolk of that caliber stick to a trivial human?

It wasn’t curiosity or interest like his own.

Why inject pheromones into a human and turn her into something forbidden?

And why go so far just to keep her by his side?

“Is there some reason you’re absolutely necessary to him?”

“…….”

“That’s not good. Walking around with your weakness exposed like that.”

Rena held an abnormally favorable attitude toward Ul.

If Ul was a beastfolk Libido didn’t know, he must have been created much earlier—someone special to Rena.

That was likely why they were just observing for now.

But Ul wasn’t particularly friendly toward beastfolk. If his intuition was right, Ul wouldn’t cooperate with Rena.

That would make him an enemy of beastfolk.

The time would come when he’d have to be dealt with—when he’d become everyone’s target.

And at that moment, this human woman would become his one and only weakness.

“Be careful, Miss Acorn. This world is far more dangerous than you think.”

“More dangerous than you, standing right in front of me?”

“Well, fortunately for you, I’m quite favorably inclined toward you right now.”

I have no intention of hunting and killing you at the moment.

“Wow. I’m so relieved I could cry.”

“You should stop investigating the case.”

“Why? Afraid you’ll get caught?”

“No. It would be pointless.”

“…….”

“My current target is you. If a new victim appears, wouldn’t that be you?”

In other words—if she failed to satisfy him, she’d end up with her throat slit like the others.

Though his voice was calm, the fear it inspired was overwhelming, because she knew his words weren’t empty threats.

He looked perfectly sane—but she must never forget that he was, in truth, a deranged madman.

“There won’t be any new victims. Not yet. So it’s meaningless.”

“…….”

“And even if you know I’m the culprit, how would you lock me up? There’s no evidence.”

“If we dig around you, evidence will turn up eventually.”

“You’ll be blocked before you even start. A re-investigation, that is.”

“And what makes you so sure?”

“You’ll find out soon.”

Libido stood up.

“I enjoyed meeting you. Let’s get to know each other more often.”

“I didn’t enjoy it at all, and I’d really prefer never to see you again.”

“That won’t happen. You look like you have plenty you want to learn from me.”

He had hit the mark.

Despite her fear, there were clearly many things she could learn from him—Rena’s whereabouts, for instance, or information about other beastfolk living here disguised as humans.

“I won’t be able to come for a while. I’ve got an important business deal coming up—lots of contracts to handle.”

“So what?”

“Don’t wait for me.”

“How ridiculous. Who said I’d wait?”

“Then I’ll be going. Take care, hunter girl. Don’t get hurt.”

His tone carried a tenderness one might reserve for a beloved lover.

Libido waved lightly and walked away at an easy pace, disappearing into the crowd.

Staring blankly at his retreating back, Misa sprang to her feet in disbelief.

“Why is my life only attracting insane things that aren’t even human?”

Maybe attracting lunatics was a talent in itself.

Letting out a deep sigh, Misa turned away.

Suppressing her tangled emotions, she muttered,

“The world’s really gone to hell. I hope it ends tomorrow and everyone just dies. Damn it.”