TMLOH 13

Chapter : 13

Arel.

It had been a long time since I’d heard that nickname.

A tender voice I remembered faintly from my earliest memories.

“I’m an orphan.”

The pleasant voice murmured softly.

“I don’t even know who my parents are. I’ve never seen their faces. I don’t know whether they abandoned me or died.”

It was the first time I’d heard this. Mehen’s past was never mentioned in the novel.

“I never received any sort of care… and love… well.”

A furrowed brow and a sigh, as if it was a difficult confession.

“To be honest, I don’t really know what people mean when they talk about love.”

His voice was low.

Because of his long eyelashes casting deep shadows, I couldn’t tell what kind of expression Mehen was making.

“This might sound ridiculous, but children were never part of my life plan. I never thought I’d have them or raise them.”

Things got messed up because of that damned master.

Mehen added that with a faint smile, as if even he didn’t know why he was saying all this.

“To be honest, I still don’t know what to do with you, my lady.”

“…!”

“But that doesn’t mean I ever wanted to throw you away or that I disliked you.”

Mehen smiled bitterly.

“Not that you’d believe me.”

Despite the dry, cold tone of his voice, his hand brushing my hair was so gentle that I didn’t know what to believe.

Still, I could feel something from him. Confusion, helplessness, and a complicated tangle of emotions that had no clear answer.

“This is my problem. It still is.”

His long, slender fingers—usually occupied with papers—gently wiped the corner of my eye. I hadn’t even realized tears had welled up again.

“This happened because I wasn’t enough.”

“…”

“I thought even if I couldn’t raise you well, I could at least make sure you never lacked anything. I guess I was wrong.”

“…Mehen, it’s not your fault.”

“Are you forgiving me?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But you’re not saying you forgive me.”

Silence returned again.

But this time, it was a much more comfortable silence.

“…Mom.”

“…Pardon?”

“Be my mom.”

“…What?”

“If you’re sorry.”

“I’m a man, you know.”

“Mom.”

“….”

I knew I was being ridiculous. I even expected Mehen to sigh and walk out, hands raised in surrender.

And that might’ve been easier. It would be more comfortable to push him away than to get used to this kind of gentleness.

“…Mom.”

But instead—

“Being a mom is… biologically difficult, you know.”

Mehen gave a resigned, hollow laugh and shrugged.

“I’ll try.”

His uncharacteristically playful response made me smile before I even realized it.

“It’s been a while since I saw you smile like that.”

I don’t know. He was going along with this silly ‘mom’ thing? This absurd request?

“You look good when you smile.”

He was always rational and logical, so I couldn’t believe he’d humor me like this. I couldn’t believe it, but I was so happy I opened my eyes wide in disbelief.

Mehen smiled.

With his softly curved eyes and a faint smile on his lips, the sharpness in his features melted away, making him look gentle.

“Keep smiling like that.”

So he could smile like this too.

With the warm morning sunlight streaming in and Mehen smiling quietly by my side, I suddenly didn’t want to let go of this moment.

Although we had passed the critical point, Arellin’s condition hadn’t exactly improved.

At dawn, they brought in healers and temple priests in droves. They did everything they could to stabilize her condition and administered newly acquired medicine.

“This should give us some breathing room.”

“We don’t know that yet. Keep checking her condition closely.”

“Yes, Lord Mehen.”

After putting Arellin to sleep, Mehen immediately went to see Yuni.

He should’ve been exhausted after staying up all night, but he seemed used to such intense schedules, so he was still holding up fine.

“So, what happened?”

Yuni’s face had turned pale as she reported.

“I think someone tampered with the medicine.”

“What?”

Yuni explained calmly.

“The day she was supposed to take her medicine, you were with her, Lord Mehen, so I didn’t give it to her. The next day, I was up all night and forgot. When I finally got to it, another maid said she’d already delivered it, so I assumed everything was fine…”

But the problem lay with that maid.

“She was one of the maids who caused a commotion yesterday.”

“One of them?”

“When I went to verify, she had already been found dead in the prison.”

Mehen silently loosened his tie. Undoing the buttons on his sleeves seemed to ease the tension a bit.

“Cause of death?”

“They’re calling it suicide. Said she hanged herself…”

“There’s no way it was suicide.”

Mehen’s voice was icy.

“What about the stolen medicine?”

“It hasn’t been found yet.”

“Hah.”

Well, well.

“Lord Mehen?”

Someone dared to pull this off in the Halbern mansion, on his watch? Mehen couldn’t hold back a cynical laugh.

“So this is what happens when I let my guard down for a few days.”

He tapped his fingers against the desk.

Taking advantage of his momentary distraction…

“Let’s leave it classified as suicide for now. Yuni, does anyone else know about this?”

“No, just you, Lord Mehen.”

“Then keep it that way. And keep taking care of the young lady’s health.”

“Yes, sir.”

Yuni left the room.

Now alone amidst a pile of documents, Mehen’s gaze turned cold.

It had been a long time since I’d been sick.

I was used to this body being weak, but it felt like forever. In my previous life, I had been ridiculously healthy.

You never realize what you had until it’s gone. I finally understood the value of good health.

And now I understood why people say everything feels miserable when you’re sick.

I opened my eyes, and the simple fact that no one was beside me brought me to tears. Pathetic.

All alone again.

“Are you awake?”

As I cried quietly, a soft voice comforted my sorrow.

Startled, I turned my head. I heard the flutter of paper turning beside me.

“…Mehen?”

His long fingers gently brushed my hair back. It felt nice.

“You’re awake.”

He was looking at some documents.

Why is he reading documents here?

“Try to sleep more. Rest is best for recovery.”

“Mm.”

I closed my eyes, then opened them again.

No matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t believe this was real. That Mehen was sitting beside me.

Had I dreamed it?

Was that whole conversation just a dream?

“…Mom.”

“…”

“Mom.”

Mehen pressed a hand to his forehead, clearly troubled. I couldn’t help but laugh.

I wondered if he knew that expression only made me want to call him “Mom” even more.

“Hold my hand.”

A shy little plea.

Though he still looked troubled, Mehen quietly took my hand.

The feeling was both familiar and unfamiliar.

His lukewarm touch made my eyes flutter shut again.

The faint scent of ink and dry paper lingered on his fingertips, maybe from flipping through so many pages.

But more than anything, what lingered at the tip of my nose was the same scent I’d noticed when I had leaned into Mehen’s arms.

A gentle, soft ash-wood fragrance that came from his big hands and made me feel safe.

For some reason, I felt like I’d be able to have a good dream tonight.

Mehen set the papers down and quietly looked at Arellin, who had fallen asleep while tightly holding his hand.

Just like earlier, she was sleeping—but her expression looked much more peaceful now.

“…Honestly.”

What was the big deal about holding someone’s hand?

For someone who had never done it before, even this felt awkward. But Mehen didn’t dwell on the past.

“Maybe I should’ve done this sooner.”

He’d always thought it made more sense to have professionals care for her rather than someone like him, full of flaws.

But when he looked at the child sleeping while clutching his hand like it was a lifeline, all those logical thoughts disappeared.

“I’m glad I stayed by her side.”

There were mountains of documents to check, things he needed to handle himself—but Mehen’s attention was completely focused on the sleeping child.

The warmth of her small hand wasn’t unfamiliar.

What unsettled him more was the strange, ticklish feeling blooming inside him.

He didn’t know its name, its shape, or where it came from, but it made him linger by her side again and again.

“…Mom, huh.”

He had known the word, but never spoken it aloud.

It would’ve been nice to have had someone to call that.

Unfortunately, the Duke of Halbern had also lost his mother when he was young.

How could someone with no parents even begin to imitate a “mother”?

“I don’t know.”

It was confusing—but not unpleasant.

At least… compared to the moment he had hesitated at the door, unsure whether to come in or not.