SILFCN 16

Chapter 16

No, it couldn’t be that mysterious sticky rice cake I had a dream about last night asking me if I wanted to ‘sign a contract with him‘… Was there a reason it looked like a sticky rice cake? Or did my coma cause some important memories to somehow disappear? I wondered, trying to remain calm.

“…When did I enter into a contract with that ‘Belobog’?”

-Since you haven’t finished my ‘ownership ritual’ yet, your security clearance is too low to tell you (,Ծ_Ծ,)!

“What exactly is that ownership ritual?”

-It’s a virtual experience of the sealing ceremony arranged by Lord Belobog! If you succeed, you’ll become my master, with a security rank of 1. After that, you’ll need to complete the mastery ritual with the Insignia of Gloriana and bam, you’ll have the final security rank of 0, and be given full control over the power that Lord Belobog has granted you!

“…What’s a virtual experience of the sealing ceremony?”

The sword replied in a cheerful voice.

-I’m recreating in your consciousness the situation when Lord ‘Belobog’s first contractor, Alcarianus, was establishing the ‘Northern Boundary’! All you have to do is install the ‘Boundary’ and seal it successfully!

Let’s give up! That was back in the days of the first emperor and the four, no, probably five heroes. He must have gone crazy!

Back then, the heroes who could fly, crawl, and run barely managed to muster up enough strength to bring down a god in an epic show of brutality, and now they want me to do the same thing, no matter how virtual it is!

I finished my quick judgment. Let’s just be real, and hand the sword over to House Castraine! I could just tell him to never use it and put it in storage. Racking up a few extra debts and misunderstandings was better than my death!

“It was a pleasure to meet you for a little while, but let’s not see each other again, goodbye!”

-Ah, no, don’t give up, Contractor! Ho, I don’t mean you have to do it alone! You can do it with your friends from the Five Powers and other allies! 〣(ºΔº)〣

I narrowed my eyes at those words. This guy was just getting more infuriating.

“Your contractor has no friends, no coworkers, no family, well, she might as well be alone!”

The sword expressed its regret with an emoticon, as if he couldn’t bear to ask me ‘How did your life come to be like that?‘, as I spewed out my furious rant.

-Ah, ah, ah, ahhhhhh…  (இ﹏இ`｡)

“More than that, what happens if you fail your ownership ceremony, do you die?”

-That, that, not exactly…but… um… (;´・`)>

The sword was breaking out in a cold sweat, and it hesitated to answer. I asked back in a cold voice.

“But?”

-…standing, trapped in the void of unconsciousness, unable to escape until you succeed…(;-͈́༚-͈̀)…

“This sword is playing tricks on me! It never explains things like this, and as soon as I grab it, it says, ‘Do you want to perform an ownership ceremony‘! It’s a demonic sword!”

In response to my rage-fueled rant, the sword began to whine and vibrate in protest. It was louder than a coffee shop jingle bell.

-Well, yeah, but in the meantime, your body goes into a state of stasis, so you’re not technically dead…

“Have you ever heard of brain death?! It’s not a clean death, why not turn me into a vegetable while you’re at it!”

The sword has been spitting out nonsense since the beginning. Feeling my steadily sharpening gaze, the sword let out a desperate whine.

-You’re so mean, Contractor!｡ﾟ( ﾟஇωஇﾟ)ﾟ｡! But with great power comes great responsibility, so a test like this is necessary…!

“It’s too bad my life has suddenly become a burden to something like you! I’ll return that great power, take it back, let’s part ways!”

-I, I’m a versatile and awesome sword! Contractor, you’ll regret not having me by your side! ˚‧º-(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º-˚

Regrets be damned, emoji overkill. It was worse than a loan shark with usurious interest! I was about to snort, but then I thought better of it.

“Then you better make yourself useful when I give you a chance, or else…”

Yes, it’s a sword with an ego. It’s even human enough to send emoticons directly into the head of the contractor holding the hilt. And even though it’s actually a demonic sword, it was known to be such a great sword that the Queen herself acquired it. Let there be rust on the blade, let there be dust. It could be handled by a servant.

So this threat will work!

I glared at the sword with my eyes.

“…It’s summertime! I shall bury you in a pile of servants’ socks that haven’t been washed in over a week!”

-Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The sword let out a pitiful scream in my head. There was no emoticon attached to the whining about how terrified it was.

No wonder.

Servants who stayed in the imperial residence mostly wore uniforms, and while they were expected to keep their clothes clean and presentable for their masters, they had no time to take care of the little things like socks, which were only laundered every 10 days.

This means that there was always a mountain of socks piling up until it was time to wash them. And it was not even winter, it was summer! Just a day or two of piled-up socks was enough to make anyone wheezy!

“If you won’t accept this, there  is the food waste pit, then…”

The startled sword replied with the speed of a rapid-fire cannon.

-No, my gracious and beautiful contractor, I understand!

Good. I didn’t want to take the last step, the restroom, let’s keep some human decency. Meekly admitting defeat, I nodded to the sword.

“And on a nice note, turn off that emoji, because it’s psychotic.”

-Ne…

The sword huffed.

-You’re so mean… I learned this stuff in the otherworld so I could look good for my contractor…

“Sock Hell Drop.”

-You want me, right?! I have the ability to read other people’s simple thoughts and emotions, a so-called ‘navigation’ function that allows me to know the geography of the area and where people are located, and a ‘demon encyclopedia’ function that lists all of the weaknesses and core locations and characteristics of demonic beasts! I’ll be granted much more once I’m fully owned and able to unleash 100% of my power!

“Oh… That’s really useful… Unfortunately…”

The sword replied.

-Why would you feel unfortunate?!

What a waste! It could’ve been really useful in the Castraine Duchy, especially the Demon Encyclopedia! But hey, the original story had a happy ending without this weird trickster emoji sword, so I guess it’s all good.

I lowered the sword without a second thought. The voices in my head diminished to the sound of ants.

-Con, contractor? Contrac…

Chijik. As I lowered the sword, the voice disappeared completely, replaced by the sound of a machine turning on or off.

I wrapped the cloth between the hilt and the scabbard, where it was originally tied, and strapped it back on. No matter how much the maids might disrespect Titania, they would not tamper with a gift from Queen Cleo, a gift intended for the son of Duke Castraine.

No sooner had I placed the sword in the ornate box it came in than there was a knock on my door. I looked up at the polite knock and…

“Come in.”

“Greetings, noble Princess Titania, His Majesty the Emperor has invited you to dinner this evening.”

“Tell him that I shall be pleased to come.”

“Yes, my lady.”

A servant from the Emperor.

I glanced out the window. It was a beautiful day. But it was already past three o’clock, though still bright as the sun stayed up longer this time of year.

Breakfast was at 8:00, lunch at 12:00, and dinner at 6:00, the official imperial meal times. For a royal woman with much to do, an invitation to dine only three hours in advance was akin to saying ‘screw you’.

Normally, an invitation like this coming from the Emperor or Empress would be an invitation to fight.

But it’s that Emperor.

Would he admonish the princess for fighting ‘that’ Castraine family’s mad dog and blowing up some palaces, and then try to kill her spirit this way?

“…Of course not.”

If he had at least paid attention or cared about her, her character wouldn’t have been so bad.

I barely managed to control my expression which was about to harden. Then I tugged at the rope with a happy face. Perhaps they saw the Emperor’s servant come and go, so they would be here faster than light.

As if that weren’t unusual for them, Mary and Sarah arrived, panting, less than ten minutes after I had called them, and I smiled brightly.

“I’m going to see my father for dinner this evening, and I want you to bring out my finest clothes, and do it quickly!”

“Of course, my lady.”

“You must be the most beautiful princess in the empire!”

I slowly closed my eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring the hands busily dressing me.

For the first time since my awakening, I was going to see my family in this body.