Chapter 8
āGood night, Ivan.ā
In the darkness, Ivan quietly repeated the womanās voice that had already faded away.
After thinking for a long time, he carefully spoke.
āā¦But Mom. Where is your real family?ā
The house was so dark that even shapes were hard to make out. Hiding his expression in the darkness, Ivan waited for her answer.
He suddenly worried that asking something unnecessary might make her leaveāsaying she should go back to her real home.
āā¦Mom only has Ivan.ā
Just as his heartbeat started to tangle with anxiety, her quiet, sunken voice answered.
āThen⦠you donāt have any family? Have you been alone this whole time?ā
Even though he wouldnāt be able to see anything clearly, Ivan quickly sat up.
āYeah⦠Ivan hasnāt met any of Momās family either, right?ā
āWell⦠yeah.ā
āIf there were other family, thereās no way Ivan wouldnāt have met them by now. Right?ā
They had only met three days ago.
Yet she spoke as if they had been together for a long time.
It sounded strangeāalmost stupidābut Ivan decided to let it go.
āā¦So that means you donāt have anywhere else to go, right? You wonāt suddenly abandon me, right?ā
An arm wrapped around his back and pulled him in.
Ivan was held in her embrace.
āIvan, where would Mom go? I told youāIāll stay by your side. I promise.ā
āā¦.ā
āYou donāt need to feel anxious. Mom will protect you. No matter what happens.ā
Her whisper, telling him not to worry, and her embraceā¦
were unbearably warm.
ā¦I wish this woman were really my mom.
That thought suddenly crossed his mind.
Realizing how foolish it was, Ivan shook his head.
Then Iād be happy like the other kids.
Even though he knew it was a stupid thought, he couldnāt stop it.
Not a mom who comes home drunk every dayā¦
Not a mom who throws leftover food from the barā¦
The thoughts kept spilling out.
Not a mom who doesnāt care even if I get beaten somewhereā¦
Since she came, this small, worn-down houseāone he had never likedā
had, for the first time, started to feel good.
The clean, shining floor.
The absence of the rotten smell.
The delicious food.
But more than thatā
He liked this woman who always looked at him.
He liked the way she met his eyes and gently touched his hair.
It felt likeā
It felt like being loved.
Ivan carefully slipped out of her arms and moved through the darkness toward the bed.
Feeling along the wooden floor, he lifted one of the loose boards.
From the small gap beneath, he pulled out a palm-sized brooch.
It was the brooch his real mother used to clutch drunkenly, laughing about how it would make her rich one day.
It was also the reason she always came back, no matter how many times she left.
The coldness of the brooch seemed to stop Ivanās pounding heart.
If his real mother found out he took it, she would scream and curse at him.
If things went well⦠he would never see her again.
If things went wrong⦠heād be beaten and locked up.
āā¦Ivan?ā
But his hesitation didnāt last long.
At the soft voice calling his name, Ivan approached her.
And placed the red gem into her hand.
āMom, Mom. I want to go to my dad. Letās take this and go to him.ā
He handed over the brooch his real mother treasured more than anything.
āI want to go to my dad. You said before, right? Letās just go tomorrow.ā
āā¦Your dad?ā
āYeah. You said my dad is a really important noble. And we were going to move anyway.ā
āAhā¦ā
āI want to move. Please? Letās go tomorrow.ā
She didnāt answer right away.
Ivan grew anxious.
If he wanted to keep living with her, they had to go somewhere no one knew them.
Somewhere no one could tell her the truth.
āTomorrow⦠Ivan, I understand how you feel, but we canāt leave that suddenly.ā
She spoke hesitantly, troubled, while gently patting his head.
āItās too sudden. There are things we need to prepareā¦ā
āI really hate this place.ā
She was someone who couldnāt ignore someone pitiful.
Ivan still remembered the expression on her face when he was being beaten.
She had been hungry herself but still gave him bread.
She had been half-asleep but never got annoyed, even when he kept waking her.
So pleaseā
just this once more.
āI hate drunk men. And drunk women too. I hate how those women touch my face and my body.ā
His voice trembled.
āI donāt even have friends here. Adults say kids shouldnāt play with me. They say Iām a bad kid, that Iāll ruin them. Even when I didnāt break the window, Iām the only one who gets blamed. I hate this place, Mom.ā
āIvanā¦ā
āPlease. I want to leave tomorrow. Thereās nothing to pack anyway. Letās just go. Iāll eat less. If we go to Dad, weāll be rich anyway. I want to go there.ā
He wanted to grab her and leave immediately.
āI want to live with Dad.ā
Yes.
He didnāt want to lose her.
The moment he admitted that to himself, his anxiety only grew stronger.
āIvan.ā
He hugged her tightly.
āā¦Okay. Letās do that.ā
After some time, the answer he had been waiting for finally came.
Holding him tightly, as if she had made up her mind, she said:
āTomorrow⦠letās go to your dad.ā
āMom, letās go early in the morning. As soon as it gets light.ā
āā¦Okay.ā
She nodded and wiped the tears from Ivanās face.
* * *
As soon as the sky began to lighten, Ivan hurried her out of the house.
She wore the simplest clothes among what she owned, placed the money pouch and the brooch deep inside her coat, and carried a large bag with some food and spare clothes.
Meanwhile, Ivanāleaving behind the house he had lived in his whole life, never to returnā
held nothing but her hand.
Holding the hand of the woman with golden hair and green eyes tinged with blue, he quickly led her through the narrow alley.
Even though the day had just begun, there were already a few people on the streets.
Ivan raised his collar to hide his face, worried someone might recognize him.
Then, tightening his grip on her hand, he silently prayedā
to someone he didnāt even know.
Please donāt let us meet anyone we know.
Please let us leave this town.
Please⦠donāt take her away from me.
āWhen is the fastest carriage?ā
Arriving at the carriage office, Ivan stood on his toes and asked urgently.
āWhere are you going?ā
āToāā
āTo Bakarakh,ā the woman answered instead.
The employeeās unfocused gaze shifted from Ivan to her.
āThereās one carriage to the capital in 30 minutes, another in 4 hours and 30 minutes, and one more in 8 hours and 30 minutes. But theyāre all fully booked.ā
āWhat? What do you mean fully booked?!ā
āCarriages to the capital are always in demand. If it was urgent, you shouldāve come earlier.ā
As Ivan protested, the employee frowned.
āThen if we go to a bigger city, can we get a carriage to the capital there?ā
āā¦Thatāll be difficult. Why are you going to the capital?ā
The employee tilted his head, looking between them.
Just as Ivan was about to snap backā
āWeāre going to meet family.ā
The woman spoke first.
āā¦Do you really have to go today?ā
The employee asked, as if thinking.
āI need to meet my dad.ā
Catching the moment, Ivan quickly nodded and spoke politely.
āā¦In that case, there might be a seat on a mail carriage. I canāt guarantee it. Orā¦ā
He looked them over and added:
āThereās a box seat on the carriage leaving in 30 minutes. It wonāt be comfortable in this weather, but since you donāt have much luggage, you can make it to the capital.ā
āWeāll take it! Mom, letās go with that!ā
Ivan nodded eagerly.
More people were starting to appear in the streets.
They had to leave nowāon that carriage.
āThen, for the box seatāā
āIvan!ā
Just as the woman was about to pay, someone shouted his name from a short distance away.
At the sharp voice echoing through the streetā
Ivanās face turned pale.






