Chapter 45
From the start, Ethan had realized that Howard was only taking Noah away to give him and Elisa some time alone together.
For once, the man seemed to be doing something praiseworthy. But in the end, as always, he had to spoil it with that parting remark.
Was Howard friend—or foe?
“You hurt your leg? Let me see.”
Ethan, deep in thought, came to a conclusion the moment Elisa tried to examine his injured leg.
Howard was an enemy.
“It’s fine. Nothing serious.”
If she saw it, she would worry—that much was certain. He could not allow it.
“If it’s nothing serious, why won’t you show me?”
The problem was that Elisa had no intention of backing down.
“It’s just a scratch. Nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Show me.”
Determined to see for herself, Elisa all but launched herself at him.
And so began their little struggle—one trying to look, the other refusing.
By the time they realized what had happened, Elisa was lying flat on the bed, and Ethan was braced over her.
The moment their eyes met, time seemed to stop. In the stillness, broken only by their ragged breathing, the room filled with a charged tension.
It was the kind of posture, the kind of atmosphere, where kissing and tangling together right then would not have seemed strange at all. Elisa’s face burned red in an instant.
Memories came rushing back—four years ago, when she had clung to him as if it were their last night alive, rolling together across a bed.
Her heart thudded so violently it felt ready to burst.
“Why have you gotten so stubborn while I was gone?!”
Her embarrassment spilled into her voice, making it louder than she intended. She snapped the words at him and turned her head sharply aside.
“Because of you.”
Ethan leaned close, his voice low and teasing at her ear.
“They say people grow alike when they’re in love. I’ve grown stubborn because I’ve become like you.”
“D-don’t be ridiculous!”
His warm breath tickled her ear, making her heart pound even faster. Elisa screwed her eyes shut, her earlobes flaming scarlet.
“I don’t cling to pointless things the way you do!”
“Doesn’t look that way to me.”
“Of course not! Now get off—you’re heavy!”
In her scramble to shove him away, Elisa’s knee struck his injured leg.
“—!”
Agony ripped through him. His face contorted despite himself. He clenched his jaw, desperate to hide it, but a strangled groan still slipped past his tightly pressed lips.
“So you are badly hurt.”
“…No.”
“No? Stop being stubborn and show me! It’s your right leg, isn’t it?”
Elisa started to rise, determined to see for herself—but Ethan pressed a hand to her shoulder and eased her back down onto the mattress.
“You’re so insistent on seeing my leg…”
His gaze darkened.
“…but were you just as unwilling to compromise when you tried to give our child another father?”
Elisa froze, all struggle gone from her limbs. Her eyes trembled, glistening.
That wasn’t what he’d meant to say.
Ethan’s features twisted. He had only wanted to keep her from seeing his injury, but in his desperation, he had struck her where it hurt most. Words he had been holding back for years slipped free.
As he had told himself countless times, her harsh words had never truly angered him. From her perspective, she had every reason to push him away.
But the thought of her giving their child to another man—that was unbearable.
He was angry at her for even considering it, yes, but the one he despised most was himself.
Leaving her, heavy with his child, had been far more horrifying than any battlefield soaked in blood.
If he had known, he would never have gone. Never would he have abandoned her to face that loneliness alone.
The guilt was crushing. And with it came the painful clarity of why she had been so sharp, so unyielding toward him.
“…I’m sorry.”
Ethan pulled her into his arms, his voice thick with remorse.
“I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry.”
Slowly, Elisa blinked, as though emerging from shock. The tears that had gathered at the corners of her eyes slid down her cheeks, dampening the blanket beneath her.
“I know it must sound absurd for me to say this after accepting Derek Grenville’s proposal, but… it’s not as though I wanted to be engaged to him.”
Still clinging to him, she pressed her face against his shoulder and confessed the truth she had carried for years.
“You know me—I always swore I’d rather live alone than marry without love.”
That conviction had remained even after Noah was born. In fact, Elisa had thought it a blessing. Who would ever want to marry a woman raising another man’s child?
With no risk of loving anyone else, she had vowed to live only for Noah.
But life was not so simple. Even her own parents had fought her every step of the way, determined not to let her raise Noah as her son.
“My father even tried to marry me off to some elderly noble in a far-off country. And the one who offered me a way out—the one who extended a hand—was Lord Grenville.”
Staying by Noah’s side had mattered more than clinging to her ideals. That was why she had accepted Derek Grenville’s engagement, why she had agreed to his proposal.
Her words spilled out like a weary lament.
Ethan listened in silence, still holding her close. When he finally raised his head, their eyes met again in the quiet space between them.
The moment was tender, but not charged with the same dangerous heat as before.
“Noah is our child.”
His fingers twined with hers, threading together like strands of a web.
“So let’s protect him together. I’ll make up for the four years I lost. I’ll be the best father I can be.”
Noah’s father.
The words made Elisa’s chest ache.
Legally, Noah had a father—but in truth, it was his grandfather.
And Count Leslie had never once acted the part. Not as a father, nor even as a grandfather. Only disapproval and disdain ever crossed his face when he looked at the boy.
The Countess Leslie was less harsh, but she too made her disapproval known, if only in subtle ways.
Others, too, shunned Noah. To the world, he was the bastard son of the Leslie family.
So Elisa had tried harder. She had poured double the love into Noah, determined that he should never feel the absence of a father.
Yet it never felt like enough. And when she discovered he could not speak, she had blamed herself all the more.
But now… now Noah had a father. His real father. One who cherished him above all else.
For that fact alone, Elisa felt she could forget every hardship of the past years. The joy was overwhelming precisely because she had long given up hope of such a moment.
It hardly felt real. Afraid it might vanish if she opened her eyes, she clung tightly to Ethan’s hand.
The warmth in his palm told her it was no dream.
That alone should have been enough.
But human hearts are greedy things. Having found one happiness, she longed for another.
“Will you only do your best as a father?”
Her fingers brushed the roughness of his cheek.
Ethan’s eyes widened, understanding instantly what she meant.
“…No.”
His gaze softened, curving like a crescent moon as he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.
“Of course I’ll be my best as your lover, too.”
“Not just a lover,” Elisa murmured, eyes narrowing playfully.
“You’ll be my husband. You’re not planning on refusing to marry me, are you?”
“I would nev—”
But he never finished. Elisa’s lips claimed his, urgent and unrestrained. She parted them boldly, invading his mouth.
Ethan faltered in surprise only a heartbeat before laughter rumbled in his chest. Then he returned the kiss with fervor, meeting her wildness with his own.
The kiss deepened, desperate, as if to make up for the lost four years. They devoured each other, breathless, unwilling to part.
“…Ethan.”
Her voice, hazy and weakened by heat, slipped between their joined lips. He understood her despite the muffled sound, and he pulled back slightly, gazing down at her.
“Tell me.”
“You… when will you finally show me your injury?”
