Episode 7
The Crack (7)
Lucius had something close to a germaphobia.
At least, that was what Celia knew.
He hated physical contact with other people to an obsessive degree.
Whenever he went out, he always wore gloves that covered his wrists, and he rarely let anyone into his personal space.
And naturally, he was even stricter about that when it came to Celia.
Celia didn’t mind physical contact with people, but Lucius did.
That was the kind of relationship they had.
“I have something I want to ask you, Celia.”
“What kind of nights did we spend together? Could you tell me, since I’m so inexperienced?”
Not like this, damn it!
Stiff as a rock, Celia felt him pressing close and awkwardly lowered her head. Before her chin could even reach her collarbone, her body reacted first.
She froze before she could even take a breath.
Her shoulders twitched, and her fingers curled inward as if trying to grab hold of themselves. Her heart suddenly started beating in the wrong rhythm, startling her.
“L-let go…!”
Her eyes widened. Her lips pressed tightly together.
“We were married, weren’t we? We’re not the kind of people who should be embarrassed by this.”
He whispered gently.
They said that when people went crazy, one of two things happened.
Either they lost their minds completely, or they started doing things they never used to do.
Celia was realizing that line from a book she’d once read was absolutely true.
The proof was right in front of her.
“Or should I turn off the lights?”
This had to be because some nonsense had gotten mixed into that empty head of his.
The servants hadn’t been able to tell their young master, who had barely escaped death, that he and his wife hated each other enough to kill one another.
That’s why this was happening.
“You and I… we weren’t… this kind of…”
The mouth that had always moved so smoothly around him now struggled to form words.
Even when she was fifteen and had made a bet with her father to avoid attending the academy, her mind hadn’t been this stiff.
As she squirmed helplessly, a long sigh escaped him.
“My head may be a little strange now, but I’m still your husband. There’s nothing strange about a loving married couple spending the night together, is there?”
His warm, firm hand pulled her closer despite her trying to lean as far away as possible.
The body heat she felt even through their clothes made her face burn.
“I heard you took care of me for two weeks without properly sleeping. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
That was because I didn’t want to become a widow. After all, you died…
“Let me prove that I’m fine, and give me a chance to make up for leaving you lonely.”
Their stomachs touched.
Their breaths mingled.
Their eyes met.
She quickly turned her face away, but their bodies were pressed too tightly together to create any distance.
The words stuck in her throat and were swallowed back down.
Looking at him holding her as though this were perfectly natural, his eyes soft and relaxed, Celia finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“You… you feel like a completely different person!”
She shouted and shoved him hard.
The grip that had seemed unwilling to let her go vanished like smoke, and he immediately moved away.
The moment she realized her hand had touched his solid chest, she felt strangely uncomfortable.
For some reason, she wanted to grab a handkerchief and scrub her hands clean. Instead, she clasped them together and hurriedly backed away.
“I feel like a stranger to you?”
He leaned back slightly, looking surprised.
Just insult me instead.
Throw your usual cruel words at me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think of that.”
He lowered his upper body as though he were genuinely apologizing.
Then he looked up at her from below.
Celia, who had been ready to snap back with harsh words at any moment, suddenly swallowed her breath when she saw the confusion in his clear green eyes.
Seeing that look on Lucius’s infuriating face…
This had to be the devil’s scheme.
He awkwardly lowered his gaze.
“The moment I saw you, I felt close to you. Close enough that it made sense when I heard you were my wife. Even more than the woman I’m told is my mother.”
Close…?
She couldn’t even begin to understand what had gone wrong.
Was it because she had been there the moment he woke up?
Or had dying and coming back somehow erased his resentment?
Right now, Lucius should have been shouting at her, accusing her of having something to do with the people who attacked him because they seemed connected to the Brickwell family.
“To me, everything felt natural because you seemed close. But I didn’t think about how strange it must feel from your perspective. Your husband suddenly lost his memories and became a different person overnight.”
It was disgusting how humble he was being.
She clenched her hands and feet tightly.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to stay sane in this absurd situation.
“Did I scare you by suddenly getting close?”
A fragment of memory stabbed into her mind.
It happened to be another night just like this one.
A summer evening after the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon and the heavy heat of the day had finally faded.
A major incident had occurred in the capital that day, and Celia had gotten caught up in it.
The words Lucius had spoken to her back then resurfaced.
“Celia Brickwell. I know by now that you’re a woman with no fear and nothing you’re afraid of. That’s exactly why you created this damned result, isn’t it?”
She didn’t know why that unpleasant memory suddenly came back.
His soothing tone only made her more stubborn.
Scared?
There was no way she could feel something like that toward Lucius.
Celia clenched her jaw.
Trying to push away his face that seemed too close, she planted her palm against his shoulder and shoved.
“As if I’d ever be scared of you!”
Instantly, Lucius’s expression softened.
The corners of his eyes became gentle, as though he’d just tasted sweet fruit wine.
Celia quickly covered her mouth, feeling a hiccup threatening to escape.
“That’s a relief. Right now, I can’t think about anyone except you. I was worried you might hate being around me.”
First, she had to get this man out of her territory.
Alarm bells were ringing loudly in her head.
Her normal thinking couldn’t last more than a few seconds before completely derailing.
This abnormal Lucius kept throwing her into confusion and panic.
“Just… leave already.”
“Mmm.”
He tilted his head awkwardly.
The drawn-out sound somehow felt almost cute, and Celia was certain that was only because she was too overwhelmed to think straight.
“But Celia, wouldn’t it be better for both of us if we stayed close together?”
“…There’s no way.”
“The doctor said that if I want my memories back, I should spend time with the people I care about and naturally encounter things that might trigger good memories. For me, that’s obviously you, isn’t it? And if I’m around, you’ll get used to the current version of me too.”
Before she knew it, his arms were resting on both of her shoulders.
The weight made her shudder.
As her body tilted slightly under it, she instinctively stepped backward.
Her back hit the wall.
When had she been cornered like this?
“And I don’t want to waste tonight.”
He made full use of the fact that she was trapped.
Leaning over her, Lucius pressed himself close.
The contact was intimate.
Intentional.
It felt like a temptation toward something dangerous, something she’d never experienced before.
The scent of bergamot and lavender that always lingered around him drifted toward her through the cool, damp air.
The bitter citrus fragrance mixed with something else.
The fresh, subtle scent transformed in an instant into the unmistakable scent of a man.
“I missed you, even though it was only for a short moment. If you can find it in your heart to pity your husband, who lost his memories and barely returned alive, please allow me to stay by your side tonight.”
Like an animal caught in a trap, Celia froze beneath the unfamiliar intensity of the contact.
“I’ll do my best to satisfy you.”
For a moment, she thought she’d misheard him.
She jerked her head upward.
Lucius, who nearly bumped his chin against her head, quickly turned his face aside to avoid it.
“W-what?”
Her eyes grew huge.
Watching her, he slowly slid a finger along the slender back of her neck, visible beneath her white hair.
Celia immediately shrank her neck like a startled turtle.
In response, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
The unexpected touch made her flinch.
“Of course, if I feel like a stranger to you, it’s natural that you’d be scared. In that case, would it be alright if I suggested an alternative?”
“I don’t like it, whatever it is.”
The words came out automatically, the same way she would have spoken to the original Lucius.
Faced with her cold, firm rejection, he should have backed down.
Instead, he calmly continued speaking.
Celia glared at him.
A faint red tint spread around his eyes.
She could see something burning deep inside them.
“At least hear me out.”
The corners of his moist lips slowly curled upward.
“I’ll only go as far as you allow me to.”
