Chapter: 05
Only after seeing Dennis did Cervante’s stern expression finally soften. He had been tense from meeting with the Emperor and the high-ranking officials for so long that he was utterly exhausted. Yet what was truly strange was that whenever he saw Dennis, he felt at ease, as though he had returned home.
“Congratulations, Commander. I heard the news that you’re going to marry Princess Katarina.”
“Are you sincere?”
Cervante bent his body in half and leaned close to Dennis’s face.
‘Ugh.’
Naturally, Dennis was startled by his face coming so close and stepped backward. As he always thought whenever he saw him, the man was unnecessarily, excessively handsome.
“I am sincere.”
“I don’t think you are. You don’t look like you’re congratulating me at all.”
“Ah, that’s because I’m tired….”
Dennis soon smiled brightly as he explained. This time, Cervante’s expression hardened.
“Are you happy that I’m getting married?”
Dennis had expected him to be at least a little disappointed….
“I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to be unhappy about it.”
Dennis tilted his head with a puzzled expression. He had never expected such a response, and he had no idea how to deal with it.
“When are you getting married?”
Asking about the wedding of the man he secretly loved was agonizing. It felt as though one side of his heart were being cut away.
“I don’t know. It was decided by those above me….”
Cervante had not even met Princess Katarina yet. More than feeling grateful that Dennis had been the first to congratulate him, he somehow felt a little irritated.
At the very least, Cervante had hoped Dennis would show some disappointment based on their comradeship or the strong bond between them. Then Cervante shook his head roughly.
‘Am I crazy? Dennis is a man.’
If he were in his right mind, how could he possibly feel disappointed over a man? After being together for three years, his brain and heart must have malfunctioned.
“Commander, have you eaten?”
“No.”
“Shall I prepare something?”
“To my room.”
“Yes, sir.”
Cervante watched Dennis until he disappeared from sight. He could not figure out why he was in such a foul mood.
He hated seeing Dennis move away from him. Irritation welled up inside him for no clear reason. Only after Dennis turned down the corridor and disappeared from sight did he head to his room.
Dennis returned to Cervante’s room with the food. Just as he had expected, Cervante was drying his wet hair with a towel.
His wet black hair was messily tousled over his forehead, and warmth filled his usually fierce eyes. With his pearly white teeth showing as he smiled brightly, there was a sense of familiarity about him.
“Commander, dinner is ready.”
Cervante looked at the food Dennis had neatly arranged on the table. There was paella with venison and truffles, a salad with pomegranate, romaine lettuce, and basil oil, pig’s feet jelly, smoked sausages, and even red wine. There was considerably more food than usual.
“The food is different from what we had on the battlefield.”
Cervante raised his thick eyebrows and looked puzzled.
“Why is there only one serving? What about you?”
“Ah, I’ll eat as usual in the officers’ dining hall.”
“Eat with me.”
He had Dennis sit in the chair opposite him and handed him a salad fork. When Dennis hesitated to take it, Cervante chuckled softly.
“Today is a special day.”
‘It is a special day, considering his marriage to the princess has been decided.’
For just a brief moment, Dennis became intoxicated by his smile and blushed. Of all days, why did he have to look this wonderful today…?
Just then, Dennis felt a heated gaze and raised his head.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Unlike before, Cervante was staring at Dennis with narrowed eyes.
“Hmm…. Dennis, actually, I’ve always thought of you as…. Well.”
The man who was normally so decisive and straightforward was blushing and stumbling over his words. And he was doing it while looking directly at Dennis’s face.
Seeing this completely different side of Cervante, Dennis became nervous as well. What on earth was he trying to say?
“I think you’re an excellent soldier…. That’s why I’ve always valued you….”
If that was all the praise he intended to give him, Dennis had already heard enough of it. Yet Cervante put down the wine glass he was holding and covered his mouth with his hand, creating the serious atmosphere of someone deeply troubled by a difficult decision.
“Please tell me. Is something wrong with me…?”
At that moment, something flashed through Dennis’s mind. Could it be that Cervante had really found out?
‘He realized that I’m a woman.’
Since they had been in the middle of a war in Sekari, even if he had discovered Dennis’s true identity, he probably would not recklessly say it aloud. Cervante was a man of few words who only spoke when necessary. Yet the fact that he was hesitating even after beginning the conversation meant that surely….
Dennis squeezed his eyes shut. It seemed better to confess with his own mouth before Cervante said anything. But then a question arose.
‘Was there ever a time when I was careless?’
Dennis carefully retraced his actions from the past. He had thoroughly concealed his developing chest with the special undergarments his nanny had made for him. He had never bathed together with anyone, and his hair was kept short enough that it did not reach past his shoulders.
‘Could he have seen everything that day in the bathroom? Even my chest?’
As expected, that day had been the problem.
“Dennis, you know, don’t you? How much I favor you.”
“I do….”
He studied Dennis’s face with a sharp gaze.
‘He definitely figured it out.’
From the beginning, deceiving someone as perceptive as Cervante was practically impossible. He was sensitive enough to understand the situation on a battlefield from nothing more than the smell of the wind. There was no choice but to stop deceiving Cervante. Even though it was late, it was only right to tell him the truth.
‘Let’s not make things difficult for the Commander anymore.’
Dennis steadied his breathing and looked at Cervante with a resolute expression.
“Commander, actually, I….”
Just as Dennis was about to speak, Cervante raised a hand to stop him. A strange silence lingered between the two of them for a moment.
“Don’t say it yet. It won’t be too late to decide after you’ve thought it through carefully.”
“Pardon? What do you mean?”
“Whether you’re going to remain in the military or not.”
“Ah….”
Dennis tilted his head repeatedly in confusion. Had he completely misunderstood the situation? It felt as though everything was becoming strangely tangled.
“Dennis, I like you.”
“……?!”
What kind of situation was this? The Commander was confessing to him. And to a man, no less. Had Dennis somehow never known Cervante’s preferences all this time? His heart pounded as though it might burst.
“But I’m not a pervert, so don’t misunderstand.”
‘Huh?! Then what am I supposed to make of this…?’
Cervante continued saying increasingly incomprehensible things, and Dennis’s eyes darted about restlessly. He wondered just how far this confession would go. Though it lasted only an instant, countless thoughts flashed through Dennis’s mind.
“I’ve always been curious about something.”
“What is it?”
Dennis was so extremely nervous that his pupils widened and he could hardly breathe.
“Hmm…. Would it be all right if I touched your cheek?”
Cervante’s eyes were wide, and he looked quite serious. Dennis nodded without having any time to think, and Cervante’s hand immediately touched his cheek. Then Cervante pinched Dennis’s cheek and pulled it sideways as if it were a lump of dough.
At that moment, Dennis did not miss the expression that appeared on his face. He looked just like a boy who had discovered his favorite insect and was delighted by it.
“It’s so soft. I’ve wanted to touch it at least once.”
He had the unmistakable face of a mischievous boy. Dennis’s pounding heart and constricted breathing quickly returned to normal. Instead, his heightened awareness sank deep into the abyss.
He felt like he could go crazy from how ridiculous and embarrassing it was that he had misunderstood everything and gotten excited on his own. The only thing he had done right was that he had not revealed his true identity to the very end.
‘So that was it…. That man was just curious about how my cheek felt, too.’
“Please… let go.”
When Dennis spoke with a stern expression, Cervante awkwardly changed his expression and released him. Yet somehow, Dennis also felt like laughing. Cervante had always been so serious and impenetrable that seeing this human side of him was, in a way, quite a discovery.
That was enough.
‘The war is over. It’s time to return to where I belong.’
If he could have his way, he wanted to remain by Cervante’s side for the rest of his life, but realistically, that was impossible. How long could he continue hiding the fact that he was a woman from Cervante and his comrades? If he went any further, he would be committing the sin of deceiving the people around him.
“Commander.”
“Speak.”
“I’m going to leave the military.”
“What did you say?”
“I want to leave the military.”
Dennis believed that this was the moment when he needed to bring everything to an end.
