#002. I Will Protect You
“I’ve always had bad luck.”
I muttered softly, my cheek resting on the desk. They say you get better at speaking the more you do it, but if I said this in front of others, they’d all look at me strangely. That’s why I often talked to myself when I was alone.
After I hanged myself on His Majesty’s decree and opened my eyes again, I found myself as Blanche Roa Vandaluin, the youngest princess of the Kingdom of Lamore.
Considering there are biographies written about Baek Ryeon, it wasn’t a dream—I had reincarnated. With all of my past memories intact.
Since I had seen someone in my previous life who had reincarnated with memories from a life before that, this new life wasn’t entirely shocking. Maybe it’s a bloodline thing.
What surprised me more was just how similar this life was to the last one.
Blanche Roa Vandaluin, though a princess of Lamore, is not of direct royal blood. In other words, she was adopted from a collateral branch of the royal family.
Baek Ryeon had also come from a prestigious noble family’s collateral line and had been adopted by the head of the family. Both of us had been taken in not out of sympathy for our orphaned childhoods, but because we were useful—adopted to serve a purpose.
Baek Ryeon was chosen by the childless family head as an heir—clever and parentless. As for Blanche…
Blanche is a hostage princess.
To explain that, I need to describe where the Kingdom of Lamore is situated.
Lamore is a small, weak kingdom caught between two great powers—the Retaile Empire and the Kingdom of Cartian. Honestly, the only reason this kingdom still exists might be because those two powers are too busy keeping each other in check to bother invading.
If either country absorbed Lamore, they would end up sharing a border—meaning increased defense spending by several times. Neither Retaile nor Cartian would take that risk unless they were planning all-out war.
“Truly… the very definition of a meatless chicken rib…”
Being between two powerful nations could be seen as a geographic advantage—after all, we hadn’t been conquered. But it also meant Lamore constantly had to be cautious of both sides. In some ways, it might’ve been easier to just belong to one of them.
And that’s exactly why the King of Lamore adopted me. Because the Retaile Empire demanded a hostage—but he didn’t want to send his beloved blood child.
“I must’ve done something terribly wrong in a past life.”
Like before, my early fate in this life was cruel. I lost both parents at age two, was adopted as a political hostage, and spent a year neglected with barely any affection, knowing I’d be sent away eventually.
And so, today—at the tender age of three—I have to leave my homeland and go to the Retaile Empire. I probably won’t ever set foot in my country again.
“…I don’t want to live.”
Truly.
In my past life, I gave everything I had. I devoted my entire being to my family and country. I suppressed personal grudges, never hid my talents. Whether it was in academics or martial arts, I went wherever my skills were needed and did whatever I could.
I thought things would get better if I just did my best.
“But they didn’t.”
I know how it all ended after enduring and sacrificing so much. I remember what I got in return for pushing myself harder, shaving myself down to nothing.
This life probably won’t be any different. No matter how hard I try, it’ll only get worse.
“But I can’t even die…”
If I were to die now, I might be forced to live a third life under even worse conditions. But more than that, the real problem is that I’m three years old. There’s just no way for a toddler to tie a sturdy enough noose.
And there’s another reason…
“Princess, everything is ready. I’ve come to escort you.”
Just as I was drowning in despair over an inevitable failure, the one who had been waiting came to get me.
Tula Delota. My nursemaid. She came to the palace with me after my parents died when I was two, and now she’s going with me again—this time to the Retaile Empire.
“Shall we go?”
I stared intently at the girl who smiled so warmly at me.
…Tula once said I felt just like a daughter to her. I reminded her of the baby girl she lost right after birth.
But Tula wasn’t the only one who saw her daughter in someone else. I did too. I saw my daughter in her—the one I had to leave behind in my past life. The one who had to collect my body after I took my own life, who lost her entire family at just twenty years old.
Just as Baek Ryeon’s and Blanche’s early lives were alike, Tula now reminded me of my daughter back then.
Not just in age, but in the fact that she had to risk her life—because of me.
My daughter had been in danger simply for being my daughter—cast out of the emperor’s favor. And Tula, just because she’s my nanny, had to leave behind her hometown, family, friends, and everything she knew to follow me to a distant foreign land.
So both as Baek Ryeon, who chose death to protect her child, and as Blanche, an orphan raised by a nursemaid, I couldn’t help but be drawn to this girl.
Because of her, I couldn’t end this second life, no matter how much I didn’t want it. I didn’t know what would happen to her—this girl like a daughter—after I died.
“Tula.”
So before setting off on this long journey, I made one promise.
“Yes, Princess?”
“…I will protect you.”
The words I had never been able to say to my real daughter.
Baek Ryeon, with all her power—enough to shake the heavens—still couldn’t protect her own child except by choosing death.
But that means, no matter how terrible things get, I should be able to protect just one person.
Unlike my past life, where I rose to the top—this time, I’ll stay at the bottom. I won’t even show a tenth of my ability. All I need is the resolve to risk my life.
So I decided: I won’t exhaust myself trying to please others or fight battles I can’t win. I’ll do just enough to survive—and live only for myself.
And in doing so, I’ll protect this child—not of my blood, but the one who raised me and will now walk this path by my side.
“…Huh?”
Tula, unaware of my past life, blinked in confusion at my sudden, solemn words.
But I hadn’t expected her to understand. So I simply held out both hands to her.
“Let’s go. They’re waiting for us.”
As she had done so far, Tula brushed off my strange mutterings as baby talk and smiled warmly, picking me up.
“Should I bring that book too?”
At my age, I couldn’t even reach the shelf, much less put a book away. I glanced at the cover of the biography wrapped in a fancy binding and shook my head.
“No, leave it.”
I already knew how that story ended. I didn’t need it anymore. After all, what was written in there wasn’t the truth.
