#001. May you enjoy everlasting peace and live for thousands and tens of thousands of years.
Chapter 1
Consciousness, which had drifted in and out, returned at dawn. The moonlight filtering through the paper doors was bright, and I thought, What a beautiful day to die.
*
Once I’d made up my mind, there was no reason to delay. I forced my unsteady body to rise. Though my strength had long since left me from fasting, the thought of parting soon brought no hesitation.
“I wanted to have everything sorted before I left…”
Jewels, treasures, and fine silk fabrics lay scattered throughout the room. I’d been organizing the imperial gifts ever since I was ordered to remain confined, yet I still hadn’t managed to finish.
Since I started with the older ones, most of what remained were gifts given after I had fallen from favor. Still, there were a few pieces from the days when I was loved. In the end, it would be my daughter who would have to sort them all.
Among them, I picked up the letter that had arrived just yesterday. The silk was so fine, it felt too precious even to wear. The ribbon was tied tightly, and the words within were embossed in molten gold. The extravagance of it all made me laugh bitterly.
“This kind of thing should only be used to praise war heroes…”
From the outside, it looked as grand and beautiful as the victory announcements I’d once received. But after all the similar letters I’d gotten since being cast aside, I knew too well what was inside: blame, fury, and rebuke.
“The favor of Heaven is too heavy for a mere mortal to bear, Your Majesty.”
The Emperor’s affection had always been like that—fierce, twisted, and poured out in ways I could never understand. Half my life had been spent receiving that baffling love.
At times, it had exhausted me. At times, it had been a source of strength. And at other times, it made me constantly second-guess myself. And then…
…there were times when it was just good.
But now, I was simply tired.
“What could have displeased you so?”
No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong.
Was it really so offensive to advise the Emperor to name a Crown Prince quickly, so that the royal heirs wouldn’t fall into conflict? Offensive enough to be cast aside and still be the target of such rage?
“Was that truly a crime worthy of death, Your Majesty?”
I had agonized over this endlessly as I packed away the exquisite gifts—the belongings that would soon become my funeral relics.
Had I spoken too bluntly? Was the timing bad? Or maybe I should have just turned a blind eye and kept my mouth shut?
Yes, perhaps that would’ve been better. Pretending not to see, not to hear—just watching out for my own well-being. Maybe then, I’d still be wielding the power that could bring even birds to the ground with a word.
But what’s the point in thinking about it now? I’ve been dismissed, confined in my house, and the political scene is soaked in blood.
It’s been ten years since the Crown Prince passed away. Ever since then, the matter of succession had gradually become more pressing until it finally boiled over last year.
Until recently, the factions fought in the shadows. But now, they’re openly framing and slandering each other. They tried desperately to pull me, a neutral party, into the mess.
And then, the Emperor—who had tolerated this for ten years—suddenly began purging the court.
My nephew, who insisted the eldest surviving prince should be crowned and urged our family to support the Third Prince, was stripped of his titles.
A friend who sent a letter arguing that the Fourth Prince, whose mother’s side came from a noble family, would bring stability to the Empire was thrown into prison.
Even as those around me were dragged away, I stood firm. I kept insisting that the chaos stemmed from the lack of an heir, and that His Majesty must make a decision swiftly.
─And this was the result. I was dismissed from my post and ordered to remain under watch. A confinement in name, but exile in practice.
Still, I wasn’t afraid for myself. Because His Majesty kept sending me letters. Letters written on silk more precious than any used for clothing, with golden characters.
I believed His Majesty’s rage would eventually subside. Even if resentment lingered and I returned with a lower rank, I was sure I’d come back. And if my reduced status stung my pride, I could just live out my days in my estate, a big fish in a small pond.
At least, there, I could still live like a king.
…What truly worried me was my daughter.
My only child, whom I had late in life, had just come of age. My heir. My only family.
With the current bloodbath in politics, exile felt like a blessing. Everyone even suspected of speaking about the succession was being purged. Already, half our family had been stripped of titles or punished.
It was only a matter of time before my daughter, who had just entered government service, would be caught in the crossfire.
But I couldn’t tell her to quit and come home. That would seem like rebellion.
Nor could I leave her in the capital. If I did, it was only a matter of time before His Majesty’s wrath reached her. Right now, she was with me, under the pretense of caring for her sick father. But if that dragged on, even that excuse might turn against her.
So I had only one choice left:
To die in her place.
If I lived, and His Majesty forgave me, the favor would return to me alone. But if I died, then surely… he would extend his mercy to my daughter.
And so, I had meticulously calculated the perfect time to die. It couldn’t be too soon, or I’d die while His Majesty’s anger was at its peak, passing that fury onto my daughter.
It couldn’t be too late either—if I waited until he’d calmed, my death wouldn’t be seen as a tragic loss, and my daughter wouldn’t earn his sympathy.
After carefully weighing everything, I decided that now was the moment. For that, I had even stopped eating for days. All that was left was to end it quickly.
“For the final touch…”
My gaze settled on the letter I still held. Yes, this would do for the end. The memories of the good times were too precious to tarnish with a final act.
I bowed deeply toward the imperial decree.
“May Your Majesty enjoy everlasting peace and live for thousands and tens of thousands of years.”
But may Your Majesty’s reign never again be shadowed by my presence.
All love, hatred, fury—I shall carry it with me to the underworld. So never again… not in life, not in death… let even the hem of your robe brush against me.
That is my only, earnest wish.
*
“…And with a sigh, she passed away at the age of sixty-five.
After the death of Yi Baek-ryeon, the Jin Empire began to walk the path of ruin.”
I read the final line slowly and then closed the book.
The title was The Chronicle of Yi Baek-ryeon, a biographical account of a figure from the now-extinct Jin Empire, which had perished 1,500 years ago.
And she had been me in my previous life.
“Looks like they didn’t get everything quite right…”
‘Yi Baek-ryeon’ was me—but the details of my death were a bit off.
The record said I died from illness, a broken heart. But in truth, I had taken my own life.
It wasn’t surprising that this didn’t make it into the records. I had done no wrong, yet I—second only to the Emperor, a woman of unmatched power—was cast out for urging proper succession and chose death. That was something the historians would rather keep quiet.
Still, I wondered—how many people had truly known the real reason for my death?
My daughter must have known. She would’ve handled my remains. And surely the two or three handmaids helping her would have known too.
“But what about you?”
I wondered about His Majesty.
Normally, he would’ve known. He came to my funeral. He would’ve seen my body. But at that time, with his twisted love, unreasonable anger, and baseless accusations still unresolved…
Did you come to see me?
Or did you look away, even as they buried me in the earth?
“…Eh, whatever.”
I shook my head and let the thoughts go. It didn’t matter now.
Everyone who knew—whether they understood or not—had long returned to the soil. Even the country had vanished, and fifteen centuries had passed.
Now, none of it mattered.
Even though neither your long life nor the Empire’s eternity came to pass…
I just hoped your end had been peaceful. Without regret, without remorse.
Having confirmed everything and even prayed belatedly for your soul, I tried to get up—
—and ran into a rather large problem.
“I’ll just have to wait for someone to come…”
I realized that my feet couldn’t touch the ground.
When I first arrived at the library, my nanny had lifted me into the chair and fetched my book. Only now did I realize the truth.
Yes—Yi Baek-ryeon, undefeated general, legendary loyalist, and the greatest stateswoman of her time… was now a three-year-old child.
I couldn’t even get down from a chair by myself.
