Chapter 15
A few days after my sleepover at Toga’s house, I found myself riding the train for an hour, nerves piling on top of nerves with every passing station.
Toga and I were at the beach.
“Mr. Toga, it’s the ocean! The ocean!”
“I can see that.”
Stretching out before us was a beach packed with people enjoying their summer vacation. The weather was perfect—a clear blue sky overhead—but it was still unbearably hot. Sweat clung to my skin, and the heat alone was enough to drain anyone’s energy.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of my hair—now long enough to reach below my shoulders—fluttering in the sea breeze.
For once, I wasn’t dressed in my usual clothes. I wore a white sundress and a straw hat. Beside me stood Toga, dressed in black from head to toe as always.
He looked incredibly hot.
Actually, the crease between his brows seemed even deeper than usual.
I’d come to the beach countless times with friends and family before.
But today was different.
Because I was here with Toga.
And I was so nervous I thought I might die.
I mean, this was the beach.
Which meant swimsuits.
Which meant I was finally going to see Toga’s upper body.
For days, that thought alone had occupied every spare second of my mind. My heart raced constantly, my breathing got weird, my body temperature kept rising.
At one point I genuinely wondered if I’d entered menopause.
The moment we stepped onto the sand, scorching grains slipped into our sandals.
“It’s hot! Hot!”
Complaining the whole way, we headed toward the beach house changing rooms.
The swimsuit I’d bought specifically for today was a black-and-white pareo set.
The reason I’d chosen black was obvious.
It reminded me of Toga.
Even if someone told me black didn’t suit me, I would’ve bought it anyway.
I wrapped the pareo like a dress instead of around my waist, pulled on the hoodie I’d brought with me, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the changing room.
Toga probably wouldn’t think anything of seeing me in a swimsuit.
Still…
I wanted him to think I looked cute.
I wanted that because I liked him.
If we were just friends, I wouldn’t have spent so much time agonizing over swimsuits.
If we were just friends, I wouldn’t have been this terrified to leave the changing room.
My heart hammered painfully against my ribs.
Pulling my hat lower, I searched for Toga.
And then I found him.
He stood a short distance away, close enough that anyone exiting the women’s changing room would spot him immediately.
Arms crossed.
Wearing his usual perpetually irritated expression.
The instant I saw him—
My knees hit the sand.
He was even more incredible than I’d imagined.
Seriously.
Was Toga Poseidon?
King of the sea.
God of the sea.
Divine.
I wanted to worship him.
His upper body was perfectly sculpted, lean muscles and sharply defined abs on full display.
I’d touched his arms before, but seeing them exposed like this was completely different. Thick, powerful muscles. Broad shoulders. Visible collarbones.
God.
I felt sick.
Not because it was bad.
Because it was too good.
I couldn’t see his back from here, but I just knew it had to be magnificent too.
I loved him.
And even though his swimsuit wasn’t exactly the same as in the game, it was black.
Matching.
We kind of looked like we were matching.
…Sorry.
That was getting way ahead of myself.
Forgive me for secretly thinking, matching outfits with my favorite person♡.
His legs were incredible too.
Exactly my type.
The perfect balance of muscle and build.
Honestly, every single part of this man was my ideal.
All I could do was sigh.
Even the silver necklace around his neck was perfect.
There he was.
The number one man who belonged at the beach.
The kind of guy who looked like he’d hold a Sex on the Beach cocktail in one hand and seduce women without even trying.
I knew it.
I had seen enough.
I was satisfied.
I’d witnessed Toga in a swimsuit.
Time to go home.
I didn’t want him seeing my ugly swimsuit body.
What if his eyes rotted?
Even now, I still couldn’t believe someone as insignificant as me was allowed to stand beside someone like Toga.
I wanted to go home.
But leaving would be such a waste.
At that moment, a nearby couple noticed me kneeling in the sand looking like I was about to cry and came over in concern.
“Ah, sorry. I’m okay.”
“…Yes, I just saw something really wonderful.”
“…Thank you for worrying about me.”
After apologizing repeatedly and saying goodbye to the very kind couple, I heard a voice nearby.
“What are you doing?”
I looked up.
Toga had already walked over.
“Hiii—! S-Sorry! I was kneeling there and a nice couple came to check on me…”
“Why were you kneeling?”
“Because you looked too beautiful to approach…”
“Are you an idiot?”
“I’m sooorryyyy!”
He grabbed both my cheeks and stretched them.
Fair enough.
This wasn’t Toga’s house.
I’d caused trouble for strangers.
As I apologized with tears in my eyes, he finally released me.
Rubbing my sore cheeks, I risked another glance at him.
Then immediately looked away.
He’d already been devastating from a distance.
Up close?
It was even worse.
Those abs…
Everything about him was exactly my type.
I couldn’t take it.
I seriously couldn’t.
At this point I needed sunglasses covered with duct tape just to survive looking at him.
Like Medusa turning people to stone with her eyes, Toga’s body could turn me to stone through sheer sex appeal.
The title of “walking age-restricted content” wasn’t just for show.
Getting too close to him felt dangerous.
I was finished.
There was no way I could casually walk beside a masterpiece crafted by the gods themselves.
I wanted to become a clam.
Sensing that fatalities might occur if this continued, I carefully avoided looking at his body and whispered:
“Toga. Toga.”
“What?”
He bent down so his ear was level with my face.
I leaned closer and whispered like I was sharing a secret.
“You’re so handsome that people are going to die.”
Toga laughed.
Actually laughed.
“Yeah right.”
He thought I was joking.
I wasn’t.
At this rate, I would be the first casualty.
I quickly took off my hoodie and shoved it toward him.
“Please wear this.”
“…Not happening. That’s women’s clothing.”
Right.
The hoodie I’d brought was far too small for someone built like him.
Damn it!
I should’ve brought a men’s hoodie!
While I silently cursed my own lack of preparation, Toga took the hoodie from me anyway.
Then he casually exposed that glorious upper body once more and headed toward the coin lockers.
“Quit messing around. Let’s get in the water.”
Wait, sir.
If you’re not wearing it, give it back.
No?
No?
Wait—
My poor hoodie disappeared into a locker.
Fighting back tears, I stored my own belongings too.
Then Toga held out his hand.
“Here.”
I froze.
…What was this?
His hand was empty.
Which meant I was supposed to put something into it.
An admission fee?
Wait a second, my wallet’s in the locker—
Or…
No way.
Surely he didn’t mean—
No.
No way.
Right?
I looked from his face to his hand.
Then back to his face.
My heart was caught somewhere between hope and terror.
Slowly, cautiously, I placed my hand in his.
Without hesitation, Toga wrapped his fingers around mine and started walking toward the ocean.
His large hand held mine securely.
I couldn’t process it.
I just stared.
I could feel his warmth.
The texture of his skin.
His fingers touching mine.
And when my brain finally accepted reality—
Toga was holding my hand.
My hand began trembling.
The shaking was obvious enough that Toga noticed.
He gently tugged me closer so we were walking side by side.
“Your hand’s shaking.”
I nodded.
I couldn’t trust myself to speak.
If I opened my mouth, I might start crying.
Because holding hands with Toga—
Walking beside Toga—
Made me happier than words could ever describe.
In my previous life, I’d imagined this countless times.
Walking beside him.
Holding his hand.
Even more than that.
But now this wasn’t fantasy.
This was real.
I could feel his warmth.
Hear his voice.
Walk beside him.
Reality was better than every dream I’d ever had.
Maybe other people would think I was being dramatic.
Maybe they’d say it was only holding hands.
Only walking together.
But for me, it was something precious beyond measure.
Something that made me truly happy.
Still holding hands, we reached the shoreline.
I slipped off my sandals and enjoyed the strange sensation of the waves pulling the sand away beneath my feet.
I’d always loved that feeling.
Trying to hide the tears threatening to surface, I brightened my voice.
“Toga! It feels weird! This is fun!”
“What are you, five?”
“High schoolers are still kids!”
After thoroughly enjoying myself, I slipped my sandals back on.
The moment I did, Toga silently tugged my hand and led me farther into the ocean.
The water rose higher and higher.
By the time it reached my waist, I was already struggling against the waves.
Then suddenly—
He picked me up.
“Huh?!”
Before I could even react, he carried me deeper.
And deeper.
And deeper.
Until the water reached his chest.
For me, nearly thirty centimeters shorter than him, it was deep enough to cover my face.
“Scary! Scary, scary, scary! Wait, Toga! What are you doing?!”
Panicking, I clung to his shoulders for dear life as the waves rocked us.
Toga just laughed.
The King of the Sea was laughing.
And seeing that smile up close—
My face exploded with heat.
That was cheating.
Completely unfair.
He’d said he was only using me, and yet he kept doing things like this.
Things that made me hope.
His smile was beautiful enough to make me fall for him all over again.
His bare skin pressed against me.
His hands supported my waist and legs.
Every point of contact made my heart ache.
And when all of it combined—
I felt like I was losing control of myself.
Just for now.
I wanted to hold onto this happiness a little longer.
We’d probably never come to the beach together again.
So just this once…
Just this once…
I wanted to be selfish.
Letting go of his shoulders, I carefully wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I’m scared,” I said, using the ocean as an excuse.
And the tears gathering in my eyes?
Those were obviously because seawater had splashed my face.
Of course.
The places where our skin touched embarrassed me.
But they also made me happy.
I wished time would stop.
My face was burning red.
And I knew perfectly well it wasn’t because of the sun.
Would other people think we were a couple?
Would they look at me and wonder what someone like me was doing clinging to someone like him?
They probably would.
Because Toga was just that amazing.
Eventually he carried me back to shallower water.
Once my feet could touch the bottom again, he gently set me down.
And then—
He took my hand again.
I loved that about him.
Sometimes it felt like he understood exactly what I wanted without me saying a word.
What was he thinking when he did things like this?
Was he trying to make me fall even harder for him?
If so—
It was working perfectly.
I fell for him all over again.
And then even more.
I already loved him as much as I thought possible, yet those feelings kept deepening endlessly.
I love him.
I love him so much.
More than anyone else in the world.
After that, we walked along the shoreline.
We collected beautiful shells.
Turned it into a competition to see who could find the prettiest one.
When we reached a quieter stretch of beach, we turned around and headed back, shells in hand.
“Your shell is prettier than mine,” I told him.
And while we were talking—
I noticed a young man and woman walking toward us, also collecting shells.
At first I thought nothing of it.
Then I realized who they were.
My feet stopped moving.
A memory surfaced.
“Maybe for me. But unless you’re wearing your school uniform, only someone who knows you really well would recognize you.”
The pair noticed us too.
They stopped.
Their eyes widened.
And then—
“Eh…? Ehhh?!”
The girl pointed at me.
Then at Toga.
Then back at me.
“Inoka…”
“Mariko…?”
And the moment I called her name, she finally managed to speak.
The boy beside her was Ichinose-kun.
He looked just as shocked.
And all he could say was:
“…What?!”
What were the chances?!
Of all the days.
Of all the beaches.
Of all summer vacation.
Why today?!
Why here?!
And why them?!
I glanced at Toga.
He was looking at them with complete confusion.
Apparently he had no idea who they were.
“Toga, that’s Inoka and Ichinose-kun.”
“Ah.”
Recognition dawned on him.
Immediately, the crease between his brows deepened.
I let go of his hand, rushed over to Inoka, and grabbed her shoulders.
“Keep this a secret! Absolutely a secret, okay?!”
She nodded frantically.
Then, in a trembling voice:
“Mariko… you’re kidding, right?”
I knew exactly what she meant.
So I shook my head.
“No. He’s the person I like.”
My expression softened.
“The person I’ve been in love with.”
Inoka went pale.
I knew what she was thinking.
Anyone looking at us would think we belonged in completely different worlds.
Toga was famous.
Popular.
Someone almost everyone at school knew.
And I was just…
Me.
A background character.
Someone nobody noticed.
She probably understood immediately why I’d wanted to keep this hidden.
“…Are you being threatened?”
I almost laughed.
Even though I understood her disbelief.
“Of course not! I love Toga! That’s why I’m with him!”
“Toga…? Kurogane-senpai? Wait, that’s really Kurogane-senpai?”
“How many men that handsome do you think exist in this world?! Pull yourself together, Inoka! Look carefully! That’s him! The guy I like! Isn’t he amazing?!”
“…Are you really Mariko?”
“You literally just said my name!”
A moment later, a large hand landed on my head.
Looking up, I found Toga staring down at me with the same exasperated expression he always wore at school.
“You should calm down too.”
“Right. Good point.”
I immediately went expressionless.
After taking a deep breath, I let go of Inoka.
Toga stepped beside me.
Then wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him.
My entire face turned bright red.
My mouth opened and closed uselessly like a goldfish.
Meanwhile, Toga looked at Inoka and Ichinose-kun.
“We’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about us.”
The words weren’t directed at me.
They were for them.
The two of them nodded so hard I thought their heads might fall off.
And all I could think was—
Us.
He’d said us.
Not me.
Not him.
Us.
When I looked up at him in shock, Toga noticed.
For just a moment, his expression turned oddly troubled.
Almost sad.
Almost helpless.
A secret relationship.
It sounded sweet.
Forbidden.
Romantic.
But reality wasn’t like that.
The sweetness existed only on my side.
Toga wasn’t sweet at all.
What existed between us was something far saltier—like tears.
And yet…
The secret we shared was real.
And somehow, that made me happy.
So I smiled at him.
After parting ways with Inoka and Ichinose-kun, we headed to the beach house for a break.
Toga ordered cola-flavored shaved ice.
I got strawberry.
He drank cola all the time at home too, so he clearly liked it.
We sat together eating shaved ice when I suddenly realized I needed to use the restroom.
Telling Toga that was mortifying.
I’d rather have suffered in silence.
Unfortunately, this had passed the point of endurance.
After debating with myself for far too long, I finally informed him and hurried off.
The restroom was crowded.
By the time I got back, I felt much lighter.
But the moment I spotted Toga—
I stopped.
Two beautiful women stood beside him.
Older than us.
Probably university students or young professionals.
They were talking to him.
He’s being hit on.
I immediately ducked behind cover.
What else was I supposed to do?
There was no way I could walk over there.
Toga always said he wouldn’t leave me for other girls.
But what if he changed his mind?
What if I interrupted and he looked annoyed?
I didn’t have the courage.
Although…
He looked kind of irritated.
Should I go over there?
Or not?
While I was agonizing over it, Toga suddenly looked up.
Our eyes met.
Uh-oh.
I’d been spotted.
A moment later he walked away from the women entirely and headed straight toward me.
“Took you long enough.”
Then he casually draped an arm around my shoulders and steered me away.
When I tried to glance back, he immediately turned my head forward again.
I never got to see the women’s reactions.
But they were probably glaring at me.
That had to be why Toga hurried us away.
With his arm around my shoulders, our bodies naturally ended up close together.
Closer than usual.
Maybe it was because we were at the beach.
Maybe because there were so many people.
Either way, being able to touch him like this made me incredibly happy.
Feeling his warmth.
Feeling his presence.
Being beside him.
Whenever I was with Toga, I felt vividly alive.
Like I was truly breathing.
Like my heart was truly beating.
Maybe Toga was my oxygen.
That sounded ridiculous.
But that was how important he’d become to me.
And that terrified me.
I was afraid of the day we’d part.
Afraid of the day he wouldn’t need me anymore.
Part of me wished he’d keep using me forever.
Because then I’d always have an excuse to stay.
What a horrible thing to think.
Toga’s life belonged to him.
Not me.
Good things never last.
Our trip ended with a single sentence.
“Guess it’s time to head back.”
On the train ride home, I sat beside Toga and stared at his hand while replaying the day in my mind.
We’d gone to the beach together.
Played in the ocean.
Collected shells.
Inoka had found out about us.
But even so, I was glad I’d come.
I had used sunscreen, but tomorrow my whole body would probably hurt from sunburn.
Would Toga get tanned too?
Would he turn into a handsome bronze-skinned version of himself?
As I was thinking that, the hand I’d been staring at suddenly moved.
And gently took mine.
Startled, I looked up.
Toga was smiling.
Just a little.
The sight was so beautiful that it felt unreal.
Like something straight out of a game CG.
I couldn’t look away.
“Did you have fun today?”
His lips moved.
His voice reached me.
For a second I’d forgotten this wasn’t a game screen.
So my response came a beat late.
“…Yes. I had a lot of fun because I was with you, Toga.”
“Good.”
If Toga had held my hand and spoken to me so gently on any other day, I probably would’ve panicked.
Screamed.
Short-circuited entirely.
But maybe because he looked so unreal at that moment, so impossibly handsome that he seemed detached from reality—
My heart was strangely calm.
“…Did you have fun too, Toga?”
Maybe that was why I managed to ask.
Still holding my hand, he reached over with his other hand and gently patted my head.
Then he answered without hesitation.
“I did.”
I did.
Just those two words.
Toga had enjoyed spending the day with me.
He’d enjoyed going to the beach with me.
That simple answer made me so happy that I bit my lower lip, desperately trying to stop the tears from falling.
