Chapter 41
Rosaline’s Identity
Sigh.
In the end, I didn’t get a wink of sleep…
Mercian, tossing and turning with a storm of thoughts, had stayed awake all night.
Rubbing his throbbing temples, he finally got up and headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
“Ruan, did you sleep well? Ruan?”
Ruan, napping by the kitchen doorway, suddenly dashed to the door and began barking furiously.
“What’s wrong, Ruan?”
Could it be that someone had come knocking this early in the morning again?
Hesitating for five minutes at the door, Mercian finally cracked it open just enough to peek outside.
No one was there.
As Mercian opened the door wider, Ruan bolted through the gap like an arrow.
“Ruan! Where are you going?!”
Startled by Ruan’s sudden behaviour, Mercian hurried after him.
“Woof! Woof! Woof!!”
“R-Ruan, what are you doing at someone else’s house this early? And Grandpa Herald has moved away—no one lives there now! So stop barking! Huh? Wait, did someone move in?”
Following Ruan’s insistent barking, the lights in the neighbouring house flicked on, and the door swung open.
“Sorry… Huh? Wh-Why are you coming out here?”
The door opened fully, revealing Ruan casually strolling out, wearing a drowsy expression.
“Wh-Why are you there?”
“Ah… good morning, ma’am.”
“Excuse me? What are you talking about? Why are you here?”
“Ah… is it a pleasant morning? Though, this is a bit inconvenient right now…”
Wha—what? Is he annoyed at being woken up?
Feeling embarrassed at Ruan’s nonchalant tone, Mercian quickly scooped him up, soothing the barking dog.
“Ah, sorry. I must have woken you. Ruan was barking at this house, so I came out. I’ll just be going now.”
“Ah, ma’am, that’s not what I meant—”
“Anyway, sorry. I’ll go.”
“Ma’am, wait a moment.”
Flustered by Ruan’s seemingly rejecting demeanour, Mercian hurriedly bowed and turned away—but suddenly, a thud echoed from behind.
“Oh my, Ruan!”
After Mercian left, no sleeping pills from the Empire had any effect.
Not even for thirty minutes—let alone a full hour—could Ruan fall asleep.
He had even gone so far as to obtain a rare drug through clandestine channels, one that would knock Cassel out in mere seconds, yet it did nothing.
He had been wide awake all night.
Though he had always struggled with insomnia, now, with no news of Mercian’s safety, Ruan could not even consider lying down.
His concern for her well-being overrode his own need for rest.
“Please… just try to sleep a little,” Cassel urged, worry creasing his features.
Ruan’s lip curled into a bitter smile.
“Sleep? How can I sleep when I don’t even know if she’s alive—or dead?”
For five months, Ruan had barely slept—at most two hours a day.
The rest of his time was consumed entirely with searching for Mercian.
“Duke, at this rate, you’ll run yourself into the ground before even finding her,” Cassel muttered, observing Ruan’s nerves, tauter and sharper than they had been under the curse.
“Don’t worry. I won’t die before I see her,” Ruan promised himself.
Despite his determination, the lack of sleep left him frail, his stamina dwindling with every passing moment.
“No matter how hard I try, sleep won’t come. I just want to see her…”
Seeing Ruan’s desperate state, Cassel handed him a vial of potion, prepared by a sorcerer from the Kingdom of Allomand and obtained by Moses, with strict instructions:
“Duke, take this only if you truly feel you’ll die from sleeplessness. It’s a powerful sleeping potion, designed to force rest even when the body refuses…”
Ruan stared at the vial, the weight of exhaustion and longing pressing down on him, knowing that this rare remedy was perhaps the only thing standing between him and collapse.
If Ruan took the potion, he would inevitably fall asleep within thirty minutes and sleep soundly for at least six hours—but overdosing could prevent him from waking up at all.
Moses had cautioned him to take it no more than once a week.
“All right, then stop nagging me,” Ruan muttered. Yesterday had been the very limit of what he could endure without sleep.
As he prepared to lie down and finally rest after taking the potion, he was overjoyed to see Mercian, who had come searching for him.
Yet, knowing that sleep was imminent, he decided it would be best to let her leave first, then find her after he had rested.
Mercian, noticing his conflicted expression as he turned away with Ruan in his arms, tried to speak, but before he could explain, his eyelids grew impossibly heavy, and he succumbed to slumber right there.
.
.
.
“What do you mean, you gave him a potion?”
Worried, Mercian called for Joseph to check on the collapsed Ruan.
“He must have severe insomnia. This is quite a strong potion,” Joseph said as he examined him.
“Oh… he’s always had some trouble sleeping, but I thought sleeping pills worked instantly,” Mercian replied. After all, Ruan had always fallen into a deep sleep within ten minutes, right by her side, ever since their marriage.
If a sleeping pill usually worked so reliably on him, what could have happened?
Seeing Mercian’s worried expression, Joseph patted her shoulder reassuringly.
“Rosalin, don’t worry. He’s only asleep from the potion.”
Joseph examined the remaining potion on the table carefully.
“Rosalin, I don’t know what your relationship with him is, but if he wakes up, make sure to tell him something. This potion works extremely well, but if he takes too much, he may never wake up again.”
“Never wake up?”
“Yes. This isn’t an ordinary sleeping pill. By the way, it’s unusual to see a potion made by an Allomand sorcerer here. Usually, it induces a solid six hours of sleep, so just let him rest until then.”
“Thank you, Elder.”
“No, wait—Zelda, I heard you’ve caught a cold too, so I’ve brought your medicine. Make sure to take it.”
“Thank you.”
After Joseph left, Mercian quietly watched over the sleeping Ruan. The sharp features of his gaunt face had softened, flesh filling out his once hollow cheeks.
He looked… remarkably different, almost unfamiliar.
He had always been handsome, but now, fuller and healthier, he looked even more so.
Mercian found herself staring, forgetting for a moment that she had been angry at him.
From the outside, he appeared far healthier than when she had left…
What on earth happened to you during those six months I was gone?
If you had survived death, you could have lived well… so why appear before me like this?
It made it impossible to hate him properly.
Mercian ’s heart ached as she watched him sleep, then reluctantly stood and looked around his house.
All that remained of Grandpa Herald’s old home were empty traces; it no longer resembled a lived-in house.
The kitchen showed no signs of cooking, and the only furniture inside was a solitary bed.
What is this man thinking?
He has no fear of dying anymore, yet instead of moving on, finding a noble lady to marry…
“Ma-ma’am, I’m truly sorry. I’ve been such a fool… please don’t leave me. I can’t live a single day without you,” Ruan murmured in his sleep, brow furrowed, dreaming aloud.
Mercian’s heart twisted at the sight.
She had thought she had moved on, at least a little… but what was she supposed to do with him now?
With a heavy heart, she quietly left Ruan’s house and returned to her own.
Knock, knock.
“Rosalin?”
“Huh? Zelda? What is it?”
“What’s your business? I heard a man you know moved into the house next door.”
“Oh… you heard from the Elder?” Zelda glanced at the neighbouring house, then hurriedly closed the door.
“Do you have any idea how shocked I was to hear that from the Elder? I mean, they said someone had bought every house around your place—but the man next door is the one?”
Mercian nodded.
“It seems so.”
“My goodness… who on earth would buy all those houses just to be near you? Surely it isn’t… your supposedly dead husband returning to life…”
Mercian gave an awkward smile in response to Zelda’s remark.
“Oh my… could a man who was truly dead… really come back to life? Is that even possible?”
Lowering her voice as if afraid someone might overhear, Zelda stepped closer to ask. Mercian nodded solemnly.
“Exactly, Zelda. I never thought it could happen, either… but he really did come back from the dead.”
Mercian went on to recount everything that had happened in the capital, leaving Zelda wide-eyed.
“Oh my, Rosalin… or should I say Duchess? Or maybe not?”
Mercian chuckled softly.
“Ha! Just call me Rosalin. I was only the Duchess for six months—the contract ended long ago.”
“Then why did he come looking for you? Oh my… could it be that the man I heard about in the capital—the one who supposedly came back from the dead, searching for his runaway wife—was really you, Rosalin? No way… and that name I heard back then… Ruan? That noble name suddenly makes sense. I couldn’t believe it at first, thinking of the dog named Ruan here… but it all adds up now.”
Mercian sipped her tea, a faint smile playing on her lips.
“So, what are you going to do? Will you go after him?”
“Zelda, he’s not my husband,” she replied.
“Right, okay. The man who came back from the dead… or, well, the Duke then. So Rosalin, if the Duke’s feelings for you are genuine, what would you do?”
“What?”
“You know, back at the bookstore—when that so-called crown prince tried to hold you captive—didn’t the Duke collapse and, with his lips, seem to say he loved you? I don’t know the exact words, but it didn’t look like an act. He must have thought he was about to die… and if he confessed to you then, maybe that was truly how he felt.”
Mercian remembered Ruan, mouthing the words I love you with desperate intensity.
Maybe, just maybe, Zelda was right—those feelings had been real.
“Even if that moment was genuine, it doesn’t matter anymore,” she said softly.
“Honestly… you still have feelings for the Duke, don’t you? I mean, ever since he appeared yesterday, you couldn’t even focus on work all day, right?”
“Zelda, no, that’s not it,” Mercian said firmly.
Seeing her strong denial, Zelda continued.
“Of course, it’s not about excusing him—or your so-called husband—but he must have had his own reasons. Lying to you couldn’t have made him feel easy either.”
“Zelda, it’s all in the past. Whether he lives or dies now has nothing to do with me!”
Suddenly, Zelda’s eyes lit up as if she had an idea, and she clapped her hands.
“Oh my, oh my! Rosalin, you know I love romance fantasy novels, right? And guess what—so many of them have this exact storyline. The male lead deceives the heroine, regrets it, and the heroine… makes him suffer for it.”
“Makes him suffer? Why?”
“Well, he keeps confessing his love, but she refuses him. Watching him struggle and suffer for love—that’s what we call ‘making the male lead suffer.’”
“Ha… I… I see?”
“Anyway, wasn’t it intentional to name the dog after the Duke? You must still have feelings. You thought he was dead when he came here, but you still gave the dog his name… isn’t that proof of lingering attachment?”
Mercian shook her head.
“Zelda, I thought about it all day yesterday. When I left the Duke’s house, I believed Ruan was dead, so I had no lingering feelings for him. The reason I named the dog after him… It’s because he couldn’t live a long life. By giving his name to the dog, I hoped the dog would live the life he couldn’t.”
“Hmm… Well, I guess I can’t tell anyone how to live their married life, but you know I’m always on your side, Rosalin. I just hope whatever choice you make, you won’t regret it.”
“Thank you, Zelda. For saving me, for helping me settle here… and even now.”
“Of course. You’re my beloved little sister now, Rosalin. If I don’t look out for you, who will?”
‘Sister…’
Zelda’s words made Mercian think once more of Luciene, a memory she had almost forgotten.
