Chapter 25
Childbirth
At the beginning of spring, I was troubled by swelling in my legs and an uncomfortable feeling in my hips.
When I asked the doctor, he said such things are quite common during pregnancy.
“During pregnancy, the enlarged uterus presses on the lower body, so swollen legs are unavoidable. If you ever feel unusual heat, pain, or if the swelling becomes uneven or severe, please call me immediately.”
“I understand.”
“As for the discomfort in your hips, that happens because the joints around the pelvis loosen to prepare for childbirth.”
“I see.”
“There is nothing abnormal. Her Majesty the Empress and the child are both growing well. Please rest assured.”
Hearing the doctor’s explanation helped me calm down, but Alec still looked worried.
Every night, the maids massaged my legs during my bath, but on nights when I woke with painful swelling, Alec would wake too and rub my legs gently.
It felt so pleasant that I always fell asleep again immediately.
Even after I drifted off, Alec continued rubbing my legs.
Alec was unbelievably gentle to me during the pregnancy.
As a father and as a husband, he was someone I truly felt I could rely on.
“Before I go to my morning duties, I want to read a picture book to the baby.”
“Yes, let’s go to the nursery.”
Even during the busy mornings, Alec always read a picture book to the baby in my belly. Lately, he mainly chose the two books he felt the baby liked, but sometimes he switched to a different one.
There were not only simple baby books but also longer ones for when the child would be older.
Whenever he read a longer book, the baby would move around quietly, as if uninterested.
“Picture books are only fun when you can actually see the pictures, perhaps.”
“Then I should choose books with interesting sounds.”
Alec took picture‑book selection seriously—he was the perfect example of a father.
As my due month drew closer, a wet nurse was chosen.
She was the wife of a viscount—her name was Silja, in her late thirties.
“Your Majesty, it is an honor to serve you.”
“Silja, when the baby is born, I will be counting on you.”
“I will devote my heart to caring for the child.”
She had children of her own, but they were old enough to attend the academy, so she could safely devote her time to the newborn.
Since she was experienced, I asked her a few questions about childbirth.
“Was childbirth difficult for you?”
“My first was very hard. I suffered for two days before the baby finally came out. Afterwards I bled heavily and couldn’t get out of bed for some time.”
“I see… I must steel myself, then.”
“The second was easier than the first, but I still had more than eight hours of labor pains.”
“Eight hours…”
Two days for the first, eight hours for the second.
Would I suffer that much as well?
Part of me didn’t want Alec to see me like that.
“Alec… when I give birth, what will you do?”
“If possible, I want to stay by your side.”
“But… I don’t want you to see me suffering like that…”
When I confessed honestly during tea time, Alec held my hand tightly.
“Precisely because you’ll be suffering, I want to see it. If I witness what you go through to bring our child into the world, I will love that child for life.”
And then, more seriously:
“Childbirth is risking your life. If something were to happen to you… and I wasn’t there… that would be unbearable.”
Women often died giving birth.
I wanted to live—I didn’t want to leave Alec behind. But there was always a small possibility.
If that happened, he wanted to be there without regret.
“No matter how badly I look—no matter how much pain I’m in—please don’t come to hate me.”
“Impossible. There is no one I love more than you, Lacey.”
“I don’t want to think about it, but… if I should die, you will raise the baby, won’t you?”
“I promise. I will protect and raise the child with my life.”
Because we knew childbirth wasn’t something to take lightly, we made firm vows to one another.
While I was sewing Alec’s birthday outfit, I suddenly felt something wrong and called the doctor.
Alec rushed to me immediately, and I was laid down on the bed.
Labor pains came, and I felt my water break.
As I endured the waves of pain, Alec spoke to me gently.
“Are you thirsty? Should I rub your back?”
“Please…”
Labor pains come and go—periods of agony followed by brief relief.
As the intervals shortened and the pain intensified, Alec gave me water with a feeding cup and rubbed my lower back.
That helped ease the pain a little.
I had no idea how much time had passed.
Pain blurred everything, and before I knew it, the pain barely stopped at all—
And then, finally, I gave birth.
It was excruciating.
But Alec never left my side, holding my hand the entire time.
When it was over, his pale hand bore deep red marks where I had gripped him so hard.
When the newborn’s cry rang out, I felt relief wash over me—and tears spilled down my cheeks.
The baby was washed, dressed in a tiny newborn gown, and placed on my chest.
Such a small body, face red from crying.
When I let her suckle, she drank with all her strength.
“Lacey, it’s Cecilia.”
“A girl… She’s so adorable…”
Soft black hair, and eyes the same pomegranate-red as Alec’s.
Her features, too, resembled him—she was beautiful.
“What a beautiful baby…”
“Lacey, thank you. Truly. Please rest now.”
“Alec… don’t take Cecilia away. Please bring her crib into this room.”
Hearing my plea not to be separated from the baby, Alec agreed.
He brought her crib into our bedroom—but also brought Silja to stay in the room as well.
“While you sleep, Silja will look after Cecilia. Rest well.”
“Yes… Alec…”
I was completely exhausted.
My eyelids fell shut, and I sank into sleep immediately.
When I opened my eyes, a full day and night had passed.
As I tried to sit up, hungry, Silja stopped me.
“I will call His Majesty.”
“How is Cecilia?”
“She drank her milk, had her diaper changed, and is sleeping soundly.”
There must have been times when she cried, but I hadn’t noticed any of it—I had slept deeply from exhaustion.
When I looked into her crib, I saw her tiny chest rising and falling quietly as she slept.
She was alive.
Cecilia was here, alive.
Just that simple fact made my chest swell so full I nearly cried again.
Alec came shortly after, and a tray of food was brought in.
Soup, bread, fruit— gentle things for the body.
But I muttered:
“I want meat…”
I had avoided meat during pregnancy, eating only bacon, sausage, and mild white fish.
Hearing my whisper, Alec immediately traded trays with me.
His tray had bread, salad, roast beef, and sautéed fish.
As I devoured it, he ate the simple meal from my tray and smiled softly.
“Your appetite is back.”
“I’m suddenly so hungry.”
“Eat as much as you like. You need your strength.”
I finished all of Alec’s meal easily.
Soon after, Cecilia began crying, so I checked her diaper—clean—then let her nurse.
Her little face turned red with effort as she drank.
She was so cute, so precious, that I kissed her tiny head over and over, overflowing with happiness.
