Chapter 43
‘I just closed my eyes for a moment!’
I was startled to see that every seat except mine had already been cleared.
It seemed everyone else had been awake for quite a while—there wasn’t even the slightest trace of drowsiness on anyone’s face.
Even the knights had already finished preparing for departure and were sitting down to eat.
I had clearly overslept—by a lot.
‘When did I even fall asleep?’
First, I was surprised at how deeply I had slept. Then, for the first time in a long while, I realized I hadn’t even had a nightmare—or any dream at all—which surprised me again.
But what shocked me the most was that I had been sleeping right in the middle of everyone’s breakfast.
While I lay there with my legs stretched out, people had sat around me in a circle and eaten their meal.
It was as if I had been napping right on top of the dining table.
“Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”
I complained to Lamia in a wounded tone.
She was sitting beside where I had been lying, sipping the leftover meat soup from yesterday.
Chewing calmly, she replied without a hint of guilt.
“Oh, you’re up? You were sleeping so soundly that the Marquis told us not to wake you.”
“Still, you could have woken me up at some point…!”
Just then, the chief’s wife offered me a bowl of soup.
“Did you sleep well? Have a bowl before we set off. You’ll need something hearty if you’re going to travel all day.”
I accepted the bowl without thinking.
The Utar tribe members didn’t seem to find it strange at all to have breakfast around someone who was still sleeping.
But Callias’s subordinates buried their faces in their bowls, clearly trying to avoid eye contact with me.
One of them accidentally met my eyes, then burst into laughter and choked on his food.
“Pfft! Cough! Cough! Ack!”
Fuming, I searched for Callias with my eyes.
Across from me, he was eating and chatting with the chief. When he finally noticed I was awake, he beamed at me.
I glared at him in silent protest.
But, for some reason, he interpreted my expression as something else entirely and just nodded warmly.
‘I can’t exactly go over there and demand to know why he told them not to wake me up, letting me be humiliated like this.’
Still sulking, I turned to Lamia with a shred of hope.
“I didn’t talk in my sleep, did I?”
Lamia blinked innocently, her cheeks bulging with meat.
“You did.”
Then, as if it were no big deal, she urged me to eat.
“Go on, try it. The broth’s nice and hot—it’ll make all your fatigue disappear.”
Callias and Lamia—both of the people I could at least somewhat trust—were this nonchalant about it!
Keeping my voice low, I pressed again.
“What exactly did I say?”
“You snored a little. You must’ve been really tired.”
“I snored?”
“Yes. Like… ‘dorong, dororong.’”
I pressed a hand to my forehead in shame.
Honestly, I wanted to tear my hair out, but I couldn’t make a bigger scene in front of all these people.
Lamia slapped my shoulder heartily.
“Aw, don’t be embarrassed over that. Your snoring wasn’t even that loud. Hardly anyone heard it.”
“…Really?”
That eased my mind a little.
She smirked.
“Eat up. You’ve gotta eat well if you want to snore with strength.”
“…!”
She was definitely teasing me. I glared at her in silent outrage, but she only grinned playfully.
Well, what was done was done.
I let out a sigh, gave up, and downed the soup.
Eating in front of everyone without even washing my face—
‘My hair must be a mess too.’
I pulled my hood low over my head.
The soup, which I thought would taste worse after sitting overnight, was actually richer and more savory than yesterday.
Just like the chief’s wife said, it felt like it would give me strength for the whole day.
After breakfast, while everyone was cleaning up, I sat in one corner of the ger and let the maids tend to me.
The Utar children sat a short distance away, watching me with wide eyes.
They whispered among themselves, clearly curious about my preparations for departure.
Some of them were still clumsy about controlling their voices, so I could hear every word.
“I don’t think the princess knows how to wash her own face.”
“I can wash my face by myself.”
“Shh. It’s because she’s a princess. Princesses don’t wash their own faces.”
“Why not?”
Their conversation was so innocent and full of curiosity.
There was no malice in it, but it still felt strange.
I had lived my whole life being told that this was simply the proper way of things—and I had never questioned it.
Now, my habits were being casually denied by children.
It made me feel a little small.
‘Even little kids like them know how to wash their own faces? I’ve barely ever done it myself…’
Even when I was being looked down on or abused, there had always been a maid by my side to wash me.
When Viscount Pelsus struck me and split my lip, I’d endured a maid’s rough touch while she cleaned me.
That was just life, and I thought it was normal.
But hearing the children made me wonder, for the first time, why it had never occurred to me to try washing myself.
‘It’s not as if there’s a law saying a princess can’t wash her own face.’
Vanessa, clearly annoyed by the chatter, began shooing the children away.
“You rude little brats! How dare you speak like that in front of Her Highness!”
I gestured for her to stop.
“Leave them be, Vanessa.”
“But they’re mocking you, Your Highness. And calling you a princess! That’s an insult. They must be punished.”
“Nothing they said was exactly wrong. They just don’t know the difference between a princess and an imperial princess.”
While another maid brushed my hair, I chided Vanessa.
“You know better than that. If you act unreasonably toward children, what do you think people will say about me?”
“…”
Vanessa shot me a frosty glare, clearly not liking my words.
“I’ll report all of this to Her Majesty the Empress.”
“And then she’ll think you’re pathetic for wasting her time with such a trivial matter.”
I wasn’t about to back down.
Vanessa wasn’t someone I needed to be wary of—she was too simple, too easy to read.
‘Kavala wouldn’t trust someone like her.’
The other two maids, however, were another matter.
Vanessa sulked and backed off, and with the balance between us shifting in my favor—and Lamia clearly siding with me—the other maids began watching me more carefully.
‘At least one of them is just pretending to be harmless. Maybe both.’
Keeping watch over the people around me was exhausting.
Meanwhile, the Utar children, emboldened after seeing me stop Vanessa from scolding them, inched closer.
One of them, watching intently as the maids dressed me and fastened my cloak, finally asked:
“Princess, you can’t dress yourself?”
I answered honestly.
“I’ve never tried.”
“Why not?”
With a slightly bitter smile, I asked back:
“Why do you think?”
The child’s answer was unexpectedly sharp.
“Maybe because they want you to just sit still?”
“Sit still?”
“Yes! If you don’t do anything and just sit there looking pretty, it’s easier for them!”
The child pointed at my maids.
“If you move around and get dirty, they have to wash you again and dress you again.”
She let out a heavy sigh.
“I wish my little brother would just sit still. He doesn’t know how to do anything, but he still tries to do everything. That just makes more work for me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. But my mom says my brother has to do his share too. Still, it’s annoying when I have to clean up after him all the time.”
It felt like I’d been hit over the head.
She was right.
If I had tried to do things on my own and learned for myself, Andrea would have had a harder time controlling me as I grew.
Doing nothing, staying quiet, sitting pretty—
It was the easiest way to turn me into a convenient fool they could use as they pleased.
That was exactly what Andrea, and Viscount Pelsus, had wanted.
The foolish thought that I had at least been treated with minimal dignity because of my imperial title was laughable now.
