Chapter 31
“――Y-Your body――”
The moment Natalie met Julius’s eyes, countless thoughts ran through her mind: questions she wanted to ask, disbelief, a whirlwind of emotions. Yet, she forced herself to suppress those feelings for the moment. She stepped closer, intending to speak to Julius, who was still a patient.
“…Ah.”
“…Huh?”
So he hadn’t fully recovered yet. With that, he seemed to lose all strength and closed his eyes once again—falling back asleep. The only sound in the room was his gentle breathing.
“M-Milady! W-What happened…?”
“…His Excellency has awakened…”
“Eh!”
When he had briefly woken, the tension in his body had melted away. Meanwhile, unaware of Natalie’s inner turmoil, Mina, who was watching Julius closely, murmured, “…Hmm, but he’s fallen asleep again, it seems,” double-checking that he had indeed gone back to rest.
“Since he was severely injured… shall we visit him again tomorrow, Milady?”
“Y-Yes…”
“You must also rest, Milady, and take care of your health…!”
In the end, because Julius had fallen asleep again, the conversation would have to wait for another time. Mina, ever insistent, repeated, “Staying up late isn’t good for your health!” With her urging, Natalie returned to her room and prepared for bed herself.
Even though sleep didn’t come easily, Natalie closed her eyes and focused on falling asleep.
◆◇◆
After that, Julius repeatedly opened his eyes in a daze, only to fall asleep again almost immediately. This was likely due to the side effects of magic that Franz had mentioned. The Petigrew family—including Natalie’s father and mother—were overjoyed at Julius’s steady recovery.
However, the frustration of being unable to speak freely lingered. Natalie sincerely hoped for Julius’s complete recovery.
Whether it was an answer to her prayers or simply the strength of Julius’s resilient body—it took about three days for him to fully regain his consciousness. Natalie, in turn, went to visit him, as a gesture of care.
“Ah, um… it seems I caused you some trouble… I-I’m sorry.”
Upon entering his room, Julius immediately looked down, a remorseful expression on his face. Natalie sat in the chair nearby.
“N-No… on the contrary, thank you for saving my father’s life…”
“…I only did what a knight should… Do not take it too heavily…”
Why was it…? Ever since she heard his muttered words while he was asleep, Natalie found her hands trembling whenever she was near him. She tried to suppress it but couldn’t, clasping her hands tightly to hide the shaking. He had said it was natural for a knight, but Natalie didn’t believe that.
After all, even as a knight, taking the initiative to protect someone who wasn’t a sovereign—like her father—wasn’t something that could be taken lightly. Moreover, her father had been armed, meaning he needed to protect himself during the battle.
“N-No… Your Excellency’s actions were far from simple… Once again, thank you truly for saving my father.”
“…Did your father sustain any injuries…?”
“…N-No, he didn’t.”
“I see… that’s a relief.”
Julius’s expression softened slightly as he responded to Natalie’s words. She doubted her own eyes. After what had happened with his sleep-talking, she felt constantly confused by him. If he had been the man he was before, he wouldn’t have cared about Natalie—or her family at all.
Currently, the room was just the two of them. Perhaps to be considerate, Mina had left saying, “I’ll bring some tea…!” and hadn’t returned. So whenever their conversation paused, silence filled the room.
Natalie wanted to ask him something. Yet a part of her didn’t want to know the answer. She opened her mouth, only to close it again repeatedly. Julius, not seeming particularly adept at conversation, only made the atmosphere heavier.
(…If I don’t ask, I’ll never know… Can I really just leave it like this?)
She braced herself and finally spoke.
“…Your Excellency, may I ask you something?”
“…Ah, yes.”
“….”
Clasping her hands together even more tightly than before, Natalie looked at Julius directly. Then:
“…Do you know the name Liam?”
“…!”
“It’s the name you murmured while sleeping… I… I…”
Julius, seated on the bed, visibly swallowed hard. He waited, eyes fixed on Natalie.
“It may sound strange… but I remember giving birth to a child with that name.”
“…I see…”
“It may be abrupt, but… do you perhaps have memories from a life different from this one?”
“…!”
Summoning all her courage, Natalie pressed the question. Julius did not answer verbally. Instead, he blinked repeatedly, staring at her, appearing hesitant to speak.
That—felt like the answer itself.
“…Please, do not lie.”
“….”
“Please… tell me.”
Even though she could sense the answer in the air, she waited for his words. Like a prisoner awaiting judgment, there was no respite, and the tension was suffocating. Perhaps sensing Natalie’s tense expression, Julius finally seemed to make a decision. He exhaled deeply.
“Yes. I remember… my son named Liam. And… of course, I remember marrying you as well.”
“…!”
Hearing that, Natalie’s spine went cold. How… how could this be? It felt impossible, unbelievable, as if the impossible was standing right in front of her. Her words trembled as they left her lips.
“…A-All of it…?”
“…Yes. It’s the same person as in my memories.”
“Th-That… can’t be…”
Was this some trick of God? Both she and Julius retained memories from the past… and somehow, he was returned to before her death…
Her mouth refused to close, trembling. Julius, too, seemed to endure something, furrowing his brow and letting out a dark voice.
“I am the man who caused you suffering.”
His words seemed to drain the warmth from Natalie’s body. She clenched her teeth to stay conscious and faced him directly.
“…Did you enjoy it?”
“…Huh?”
“Did you… play with me, someone who understood nothing, as if I were a toy in your hands?”
“No, that’s not—”
Fear, doubt, sadness, anger… a flood of emotions rushed over her. Why had he gone out of his way to save her? She couldn’t comprehend it, and her eyes seemed to fill with heat.
“Or… did you pity me too late…?”
“….”
“Did you take pleasure in offering charity to a woman who had lost everything?”
“…!”
Julius remained silent, as if restraining himself.
“…Ah, perhaps… when you said you would disregard my will… you wanted to help while showing the pretense of choice… and finally control me?”
“That’s not—!”
“Then, why… did you save me?! Why?!”
He should have answered back, but Julius remained completely silent. In fact, he seemed to accept her words, yet whenever he tried to speak, the words trailed off. His demeanor only further inflamed Natalie’s emotions.
“I told you, didn’t I? I hate you. I despise you!”
“…Ah.”
“…! I will not forgive you… for all those days, I… I…”
Natalie gripped the bedsheet where Julius sat. She held back tears, refusing to cry over him, glaring sharply. Julius’s expression changed to one she had never seen before.
“…Ah, I… am unforgivable.”
His words were utterly dark, void of strength or energy.
