Chapter 11 — No More
The man’s voice was cold, edged with disgust.
Every word was like a blade driven straight into her chest.
Clutching her aching lower abdomen, she lifted her pale face and stared at the man’s retreating figure as he walked farther and farther away. Tears poured down her cheeks.
Then, for reasons she couldn’t understand, the scene abruptly changed.
She was lying limp on a bed.
Baocan was nearly crying herself to death beside her.
“Miss… your child… the child is gone too.”
“W-What?”
Baocan’s words left her dazed.
During that period, she had only thought her appetite was poor. Everything she ate made her nauseous.
And after learning that Xie Ningtang was carrying Su Zhan’s child, she had been so frightened she couldn’t sleep night after night.
She had assumed something was wrong with her health.
She had never imagined… she was pregnant too.
There had been so little intimacy between them. Only once, not long ago, after he had returned drunk and half-conscious.
Just that one time…
Blankly, she looked down at her flat stomach.
For a moment, she couldn’t even cry.
“Miss, wake up.”
“Miss, did you have a nightmare?”
“The Heir has come to see you. Wake up quickly…”
Baocan’s voice drifted in and out of reach.
In her dream, Xue Ning was still staring at her stomach. She climbed out of bed and walked toward the bloodstained dress hanging on the rack.
That was her child.
The child who had never even fully formed… before being kicked away by his own father.
Xue Ning stared numbly at the darkened bloodstains.
Tears streamed endlessly down her face.
She kept wiping at them with her hands, but no matter how hard she tried, the tears wouldn’t stop. The moment she brushed them away, more would fall.
“I’m sorry…”
“My child… Mother is sorry…”
“Miss, what are you saying?!”
Uneasy, Baocan leaned over the bedside. Seeing Xue Ning crying so hard she looked drenched in tears, she hurriedly turned back in embarrassment to glance at the man standing nearby.
“Heir… my lady must still be trapped in a nightmare. That’s why she’s talking nonsense…”
Su Zhan cast her a cold glance before sitting beside the bed.
“Bring the medicine.”
Baocan pressed her lips together. “Yes.”
Only then did Su Zhan raise a hand to touch Xue Ning’s sweat-soaked forehead.
The young girl was crying terribly. Whatever dream she’d had, she kept murmuring about a child, about being a mother, apologizing over and over again.
She was barely grown. What kind of chaotic thoughts filled her head every day?
His impatience deepened. He pulled her upright from the bed and made her lean against his chest.
Baocan came in trembling with the medicine bowl. Su Zhan took it from her and, without hesitation, pinched open Xue Ning’s soft lips and poured the medicine in.
Baocan opened her mouth as if to speak, then stopped herself.
Expressionless, Su Zhan wiped away the medicine spilling from the corners of Xue Ning’s mouth with his thumb.
She had been raised delicately since childhood, pampered like precious jade and gold. Her skin was unbelievably soft.
Her originally pale lips had turned red from his rough grip, tender enough to seem as though they could drip water.
Su Zhan frowned faintly, his fingers stiffening for a moment.
But he still didn’t relent. He poured the rest of the bitter medicine into her mouth.
Xue Ning was jolted awake by the sharp bitterness.
Curling over instinctively, she had no idea where she was—only that the taste was so bitter it made her want to vomit.
By the time she finally stopped retching, she realized she was sprawled against someone’s chest, her forehead pressing against a dark black sleeve embroidered with golden cloud patterns.
She froze.
Then her gaze slowly lifted upward, inch by inch, until she saw the familiar handsome face above her—and those dark phoenix eyes.
“Brother… why are you—”
She suddenly came back to herself and hurriedly sat upright.
The moment she noticed the mess she’d made on his clothes, her face flushed scarlet.
“I’m sorry… I-I didn’t mean to… it was just too bitter… Baocan, quick, a handkerchief.”
“Yes.”
Su Zhan took the handkerchief from Baocan and irritably wiped away the stains she had left on his clothes.
Baocan wanted to step forward to help, but remembering that the Heir had always disliked women getting close to him—and didn’t even keep maids at his side—she awkwardly stopped herself.
Su Zhan stood and glanced back at Xue Ning.
The young girl had shrunk into herself, her small face flushed red, though whether from fever or embarrassment, he couldn’t tell.
He had never liked these little tricks of hers.
Even before, she would find ways every few days to draw his attention.
And now, after only a day or two, she had fallen into the water and developed a fever.
She was only just of age, yet her thoughts were already this restless. It was hardly a good thing.
A shadow passed through Su Zhan’s eyes, cold and dark.
“Since you’re awake, there shouldn’t be anything seriously wrong anymore.”
Xue Ning only wished he would leave as quickly as possible.
“Brother, I feel much better now. My head’s clearer too.”
“That’s good.” Su Zhan looked at her indifferently.
Under his heavy, tangible gaze, Xue Ning felt unbearably uncomfortable.
After a long silence, he finally spoke again.
“Xue Ning, you’re not a child anymore. I’m not your real brother, after all. In the future, don’t bring trivial things like illness or fever to me again.”
The color drained instantly from her face.
“I…”
She wanted to explain that she hadn’t done it on purpose. That she had never meant to trouble him.
But after a moment, she only lowered her eyes in resignation.
“Alright. I understand. It won’t happen again.”
Su Zhan responded with a detached hum. After instructing Baocan to take proper care of her, he casually tossed the handkerchief onto the incense burner and left the room.
Only after he was gone did Xue Ning finally breathe out.
The bitterness of the cold medicine still lingered thickly in her throat.
Thinking of his words, a dull ache rose quietly in her chest again.
Baocan twisted her fingers together as she stepped forward.
“Miss… I’m sorry.”
Xue Ning gave a pale smile. “What are you apologizing for?”
Baocan bit her bloodless lips.
“If I hadn’t acted on my own, you wouldn’t feel so awful now… And if Madam Jiang hadn’t already gone to sleep, I never would’ve gone to find the Heir myself… Miss… I didn’t know he would say things like that… Please don’t take it to heart…”
Even though her chest still felt swollen with pain, Xue Ning had long since accepted Su Zhan’s attitude toward her.
So it didn’t hurt quite as unbearably anymore.
The corners of her lips curved gently into a soft smile.
“Enough. I threw up most of the medicine just now. If you want your lady to recover sooner, go brew another bowl for me.”
Seeing that Xue Ning didn’t seem openly upset, Baocan quickly smiled back.
“Alright. I’ll go right away.”
Xue Ning no longer felt sleepy. Her head still ached slightly, and Su Zhan’s words still weighed heavily on her heart, but she forced herself out of bed anyway.
Outside the latticed window, the winter wind howled fiercely, carrying snowflakes through the air.
The peach tree in the courtyard swayed beneath the storm, its bare branches trembling in the cold.
Heavy snow pressed against the limbs. Who knew when spring would finally arrive?
She coughed lightly and walked to the writing desk. Taking out a sheet of paper, she began writing a letter to her uncle far away at Yongxue Pass.
This time, there would be no marriage between her and Su Zhan.
That meant her uncle and cousin would no longer need to return to the capital ahead of schedule.
And with that, her cousin’s marriage arrangement with Su Xi would naturally come to an end as well.
After folding the letter and slipping it into an envelope, she looked up to find Baocan already returning with another bowl of medicine.
