Chapter 8 — The Princess’s Buddhist Hall
The Buddhist hall soon fell quiet, leaving only the soft scratch of brush against paper.
Outside, fine snow drifted down in hushed flurries. Before long, Xue Ning calmed herself as well, carefully copying each character stroke by stroke.
Every now and then, Su Zhan turned his handsome face slightly to glance at what she was writing.
He had taught her calligraphy himself, guiding her hand stroke by stroke. Her writing now carried more than a trace of his style.
In the past, she had never been this quiet around him. Whenever she stayed by his side, she would always tease him, saying charming little things just to draw his attention.
But now, Xue Ning was quiet to an almost excessive degree.
Even distant.
Su Zhan’s gaze drifted again to the young girl’s profile, serene as still jade beneath curling smoke, and slowly, he lost himself in thought.
Xue Ning copied the sutras with complete concentration, doing her best to ignore the man beside her.
But Su Zhan’s presence was impossible to shut out.
Only a single prayer cushion separated them.
The faint scent of agarwood unique to him lingered around her, curling into her senses little by little until her thoughts began to scatter.
Once, she had loved him too deeply.
She knew everything about him.
Just catching that scent was enough to make her remember that night—the one when the aphrodisiac had taken effect…
His broad chest pressed tightly against her soft body. They had both been raised with strict propriety, never once sharing such intimate closeness before that night. And he had never lost control the way he did then, overwhelming her completely.
He had moved over her again and again, as though trying to crush her into his very bones.
In truth, after they married, it wasn’t as though they had never shared a husband and wife’s intimacy.
Su Zhan only looked lean in his robes. Beneath the layers of cloth, his body was firm and powerful, without an ounce of excess. Smooth muscle tightened into beautiful lines whenever he exerted himself, every movement brimming with restrained strength.
The tip of Xue Ning’s brush suddenly paused.
Heat rushed uncontrollably to her face.
How could she think about such things before the Buddha?
It was unbearably disrespectful.
Fortunately, the clear, lively voice of Princess Xiuning shattered the strange silence between them.
“Brother Shizi—”
Xie Ningtang lifted the curtain and stepped inside. Seeing Su Zhan and Xue Ning quietly seated together at the long table, she instinctively lowered her voice.
“How much have you copied already? Do you want me to help?”
Su Zhan remained as indifferent as ever, his tone flat. “No need.”
Xie Ningtang smiled brightly. “Brother Shizi, let me see your calligraphy. It’s so beautiful. No wonder Sister Ning wouldn’t let you drink yesterday.”
The moment Xie Ningtang entered, Xue Ning had already quietly shifted farther aside.
She stayed silent, making herself nearly invisible instead of treating Xie Ningtang like a rival the way she had in her previous life.
Sure enough, Xie Ningtang slipped naturally into the space between her and Su Zhan, kneeling onto the prayer cushion beside him. Her graceful figure leaned subtly toward his side.
“Brother Shizi, could you teach me calligraphy too?”
“You come from a distinguished family. Reading and writing should already be second nature to you. Why would you need me to teach you?”
“But I want to learn your style. Your characters are so sharp and elegant—so full of presence.”
Su Zhan paused briefly before saying, “Bring a brush.”
Overjoyed, Xie Ningtang hurried off to fetch another set of brushes, ink, paper, and inkstone.
Xue Ning lowered her lashes obediently and finished the final two characters on the page before standing.
“I won’t disturb Brother and the Princess while you copy the sutras. I’ll take my leave first.”
Su Zhan silently lifted his cold eyes.
At some point, the girl beside him had already slipped on her embroidered shoes.
Her slender figure disappeared from the doorway of the Buddhist hall in moments.
“Brother Shizi, what are you looking at?”
“Nothing.” Su Zhan withdrew his gaze. “Focus when you practice writing.”
Xie Ningtang beamed. “If Brother Shizi teaches me personally, I’ll definitely study hard.”
…
Their conversation continued faintly behind her, and every so often, Xue Ning could hear the unmistakable gentleness in Su Zhan’s voice toward Xie Ningtang.
Only after stepping beneath the corridor eaves and staring out at the endless cold snowfall did the suffocating heaviness in her chest finally loosen.
Even after living through it all once already, seeing Su Zhan and Xie Ningtang together still twisted her insides painfully.
All those years of being neglected and overlooked by him became icy blades once more, stabbing straight through her heart until she felt flayed open and bleeding.
Her entire body burned as though consumed by fire.
Only the bitter cold could force her back into calmness.
Baochan came hurrying over, clutching a freshly heated hand warmer. The moment she saw her young mistress standing absentmindedly in the snow, her face filled with distress. She quickly draped the fox-fur cloak over Xue Ning’s shoulders.
“Miss, why are you standing out here in the snow? You only just fell into the water yesterday—your body hasn’t fully recovered yet.”
Xue Ning seemed to wake from a trance. Pulling the cloak tighter around herself, she smiled faintly. “I’m fine. I just needed to cool my head a little.”
Baochan bit her lip as she brushed snowflakes from Xue Ning’s hair. “Even if you want to calm down, you shouldn’t hurt your own health.”
A flicker of dazed emotion passed through Xue Ning’s eyes before she smiled again and nodded.
“You’re right. I should treat myself better.”
She pulled up her hood, then turned for one last look at the dim, secluded Buddhist hall.
A moment later, she walked away without looking back.
…
By the time the sutra copying ended, it was still early.
Xue Ning obediently headed back toward Qiushui Courtyard with Baochan.
Unexpectedly, the moment they stepped out of Wanshou Hall, Su Man and her maid Xiaolingdang were still waiting beneath the old plum tree buried in thick snow.
Amid the swirling wind and snow, Xue Ning looked up in surprise. “Third Sister, why are you still here?”
Su Man’s round, adorable face peeked out from beneath her thick hood. “Ah Ning, you finally came out.”
Smiling, she tossed the two maids behind them and hooked her arm affectionately through Xue Ning’s.
“The second branch of the family is here, so I waited to go to Mother’s courtyard together with you.”
Xue Ning’s expression turned thoughtful. “Su Xi from the second branch?”
Su Man pouted. “Who else would it be?”
Only then did Xue Ning remember.
At Madam Jiang’s birthday banquet, she and Su Zhan had crossed the line physically.
Madam Jiang had been so busy arranging their marriage afterward that she neglected matters involving the second branch of the family.
By the time she realized it, Su Xi had already secretly pledged herself to another man.
Two scandalous marriage affairs occurring back-to-back within the Marquis Manor left Madam Jiang unable to escape blame. Old Madam Xie punished her by making her kneel in the ancestral hall for an entire month.
A month later, Madam Jiang fell gravely ill.
Her condition worsened steadily until there was no saving her. Within half a year, she was already nearing the end of her life.
Xue Ning and Su Zhan’s wedding had been set for the spring of the following year.
On the night of their marriage, Madam Jiang passed away.
Before she and Su Zhan could even consummate their wedding, the entire manor had already changed its red wedding silks for white mourning cloth.
People had always called Xue Ning a curse star, saying she brought death to her parents and siblings. Madam Jiang had always defended her fiercely whenever such rumors surfaced.
But later, even Su Zhan had looked at her with cold eyes and called her a curse.
She never knew how to answer him.
Each time, it felt as though knives were carving through her heart, leaving her sobbing in silence.
And once Madam Jiang died, there was no one left in the world willing to protect her or speak for her anymore.
Xue Ning didn’t dare think further. She quickened her pace.
Thankfully, she had returned in time.
Everything could still be changed.
“Ah Ning, why are you walking so fast? Be careful, the snow is slippery—”
“Third Sister, let’s hurry and find Mother.”
She had to move faster.
By the time they reached Qiushui Courtyard, Su Man was already out of breath.
Xue Ning herself was still burning with fever, her body heavy and weak. Soft white puffs escaped her cherry-red lips with every hurried breath.
Through the latticed window outside the side hall, she saw the servants and maids from the second branch standing outside. Only then did the tightness in her chest ease slightly.
After catching her breath, she entered the main room together with Su Man.
Charcoal burned warmly inside. Madam Jiang was chatting with Madam Liu, while Su Xi sat properly beside her mother on an embroidered stool, her cool, clear eyes drifting toward the window every so often.
“Mother—”
Su Man entered first and greeted Madam Jiang.
She had never liked the second branch much. After paying her respects, she immediately sat beside her own mother without saying a word to Su Xi.
Xue Ning followed behind her.
The moment Madam Jiang saw her, she smiled and beckoned warmly.
“Ningning, you came at the perfect time. Your Second Aunt and I are choosing an auspicious date for your family recognition banquet.”
