Chapter 7 — Copying Sutras
Xue Ning smiled faintly and wrapped her arms around Madam Jiang’s waist. “I’m not thinking about anything else. I just want to become your daughter properly… and spend the rest of my life being filial to you.”
Madam Jiang frowned. “Why didn’t you discuss this with your brother first?”
Xue Ning gave a self-mocking laugh. “Brother handles countless matters every day. How could he possibly care about something as trivial as me?”
Madam Jiang sighed helplessly. “You silly girl. Weren’t you always saying you wanted to become your brother’s wife—”
Xue Ning froze, utterly unprepared for those words.
She abruptly lifted her head and looked at the woman holding her.
Madam Jiang’s gaze was gentle, soft as spring water. There was none of the disappointment or disgust Xue Ning remembered from her previous life. Her eyes were full of nothing but affection.
And suddenly, understanding struck her like a bolt of lightning.
Perhaps Madam Jiang had never opposed her becoming her daughter-in-law.
Perhaps what she truly couldn’t bear was watching her ruin herself for a man, throwing away her reputation and dignity.
So in her previous life, Madam Jiang hadn’t been disappointed in her feelings—
She’d been heartbroken that Xue Ning had destroyed her own future.
The thought made Xue Ning’s eyes redden instantly, regret and grief tightening painfully in her chest.
So all this time… Madam Jiang had treated her sincerely well.
It was she herself who had failed to live up to it.
“Mother,” Xue Ning said softly, voice trembling, “when I used to cling to Brother, it was because I was still immature. But now I’ve come of age. I understand what’s appropriate. Don’t worry— from now on, I’ll keep my distance from him. I’ll be his sister for the rest of my life.”
Madam Jiang studied her carefully. “You truly don’t want to marry your brother anymore?”
Xue Ning pressed her lips together, then smiled lightly. “No. I don’t.”
Madam Jiang let out a slow sigh. Xue Ning didn’t look like she was joking.
Today’s adoption matter had already reached Old Madam Xie’s ears. Once the formal banquet was held, there would be no turning back.
And even as a mother, she had no desire to force the children’s marriages.
Zhan’er had always been stubbornly independent since childhood.
And Ningning was the child she had personally raised.
She had watched with her own eyes as Xue Ning humbled herself over and over before Su Zhan, only for him to remain unmoved every single time. It hadn’t sat well with her either.
If Xue Ning could finally let go now, then perhaps that was for the best.
Once she chose an auspicious date, she would hold a grand adoption banquet for her. She could use the opportunity to introduce Ningning properly to the noble ladies of the capital… and perhaps find her a good husband, settle her marriage early.
Madam Jiang patted the back of her hand and smiled. “As long as you’ve thought it through. I’ll head back first and look through the almanac. Once you finish copying the sutras, come sit with me at Qiushui Courtyard.”
Xue Ning nodded softly. “Mm.”
She curtsied and watched Madam Jiang leave.
Only then did she take Baochan with her toward the Buddhist hall behind Old Madam Xie’s courtyard.
In her later years, Old Madam Xie had become deeply devoted to Buddhism and copied scriptures daily.
But as her eyesight worsened over the years, the younger members of the household had gradually begun helping her.
In her previous life, Xue Ning had rarely bothered to present herself before the old matriarch and had never earned much favor from her.
But now, for Madam Jiang’s sake, even if Old Madam Xie disliked her, she would still do her best.
“Miss Xue, this is the place.”
“The Buddhist hall must remain quiet, so please don’t speak loudly. Baochan, wait outside. Once your mistress finishes copying the scriptures, you may attend to her again.”
After passing the corridor pillars, they arrived at the entrance to the hall.
Nanny Ye gestured politely for her to enter but stopped there, making it clear that even servants were not permitted inside.
Xue Ning hadn’t known the rules for copying scriptures here were so strict.
Still, she wisely asked no questions. After giving a small bow, she stepped carefully into the hall.
The room wasn’t large. Thick curtains hung everywhere.
The moment she entered, her vision dimmed. The scent of drifting incense filled the air.
By the time she finally reached the Buddha statue, she realized someone was already seated beside the carved rosewood table.
Xue Ning took two hesitant steps closer. The moment she recognized the man’s refined face, she instinctively retreated again.
That familiar sensation returned—
As though her skin were being scorched alive.
Her breathing tightened.
“You’re leaving the moment you come in?” Su Zhan said lazily. “And this is the sincerity you claim to have for copying sutras for Grandmother?”
Xue Ning stared at him in shock. “You… why are you—”
Su Zhan gave a faint scoff. “Wasn’t it because you knew I’d be here that you came?”
“I—” Xue Ning nearly wanted to cry.
No wonder he had looked at her so strangely earlier when she mentioned copying scriptures. No wonder Old Madam Xie’s expression had darkened.
So in everyone’s eyes, she had deliberately come here just to get close to Su Zhan.
But she truly hadn’t done it on purpose…
She had been married to Su Zhan for ten years in her previous life. After being reborn and living through so much, she had long forgotten that during this period, Su Zhan came here daily to copy scriptures and pray for Old Madam Xie’s health.
Embarrassed and flustered, she stood frozen in place, twisting her fingers anxiously, unable to advance or retreat.
If she left abruptly now, Old Madam Xie would surely dislike her even more.
But staying here alone with Su Zhan to copy scriptures…
She didn’t want that either.
Su Zhan lifted his eyes and swept an indifferent glance over her pale face. “What are you standing there for?”
Xue Ning hurriedly tried to think of an excuse. “It’s my first time—”
“Come here,” he interrupted calmly. “Brother will teach you.”
Under the dim candlelight, the man sat dressed in dark black robes. His brows were sharp as distant mountain peaks, his eyes cold as frost. His features were exquisitely handsome, his profile flawless and severe.
Simply sitting there made him intimidating.
Not to mention she had grown up under his strict guidance since childhood.
If not for the feelings she once held for him, then purely as siblings, she had no reason to defy him.
Helpless, Xue Ning removed her embroidered shoes and sat cross-legged beside him.
Su Zhan glanced at her bare feet and casually tossed her a soft cushion. Then he pulled over a sheet of xuan paper, spread it neatly before her, and placed a brush into her hand.
Truthfully, when he wasn’t acting as her husband, he had never treated her with much cruelty. One could even say he had doted on her as much as Ah Man did.
It was only after learning of her feelings that his attitude toward her began to change.
Xue Ning sighed silently to herself.
She forced herself to remain calm, pressing her red lips together as she accepted the brush. She avoided looking at him entirely, inching her body farther and farther away.
Su Zhan clearly disliked seeing her act so timid and withdrawn. He stretched out a long arm and, just as he had done when they were children, hooked an arm around her slender waist and pulled her back upright.
But Xue Ning had already died once.
Now, the thing she feared most was contact with Su Zhan.
Her blood seemed to freeze instantly. Eyes widening in panic, she shoved against him hurriedly just as he nearly pulled her into his arms.
But his strength was overwhelming. His breath brushed against her skin, and with her tiny kitten-like strength, there was no way she could push him away.
The hand at her waist burned so hot it threw her heartbeat into chaos.
She bit down hard on her lip. As if touched by something she feared, her whole body trembled with panic.
“Brother… I-I can sit properly myself.”
Su Zhan raised his eyes slightly, expression unreadable. “Since when?”
Xue Ning lowered her gaze, not daring to meet his eyes. “Since when… what?”
“When did you decide,” he said casually, “that you wanted to be my sister?”
Xue Ning answered honestly, “Last… last night.”
So it really had been a spur-of-the-moment decision.
Girls in love were always foolishly childish.
To think she’d even caused a scene before Grandmother over such a trivial trick.
But Xue Ning had always been like this. She looked soft and harmless, yet she was cleverer than anyone.
Surely she’d find some way to stop the adoption banquet from happening, then come running back to coax him again.
For some reason, the oppressive heaviness in Su Zhan’s chest eased slightly.
He gave a quiet laugh and leaned closer, his handsome face unreadable.
But when he caught sight of the girl’s deathly pale complexion, he suddenly found her little attempts at seduction unbearably dull.
“Copy the scriptures properly.”
As an older brother, he had always been this strict.
Only after he finally moved away did Xue Ning dare breathe again.
She sat up stiffly, forcing herself to steady her voice.
“…Alright.”
