FLF 07

07 — In the Shadow of the School at Sunset

It wasn’t like I’d done anything special. It had just been on a whim.

But the way Aika lit up when she talked about it made me wonder—was I supposed to keep doing this every day now?

I glance at her walking beside me, sunlight stretching our shadows long across the pavement.

Honestly, like I’d always said, having Aika was enough. I didn’t need anyone else. In fact, dealing with other people was just a pain.

And yet…

If just saying hello made her this happy, maybe it wasn’t so bad.

I had no intention of making friends or getting especially close to anyone. But a little interaction… maybe that much was fine.

I didn’t even realize I was starting to think that way until someone pointed out the change in me later.

Before I knew it, less than a month remained until graduation.

And by then, even when I didn’t greet anyone first, people would call out to me as we passed, or say hello on their own.

Responding to greetings was easy enough. But the moment someone tried to start a real conversation, I’d panic and end up blurting out something incomprehensible.

Like Aika told me… I was probably too unused to having even this much social contact. I was starting to understand that.

And then—despite barely making the deadline—we got into college through a recommendation system.

From the days of nothing but after-school studying, we were finally free.

Without even saying anything, we started spending our afternoons going out together.

Of course, we still made curfew. (Because Aika would get annoying otherwise.)

We went to cafés, arcades, karaoke… sometimes movies, sometimes shopping.

From the outside, we probably just looked like twin sisters having fun together.

If we were actually sisters—or just friends—it wouldn’t have stood out at all.

But because we looked so alike, people did stare sometimes. So we couldn’t exactly act openly affectionate.

Still… to us, those were dates.

One day during class, I got a message from Aika.

It was unusual—she was the serious type who never texted during lessons. That alone made me feel a little uneasy… and strangely excited.

“I’m really sorry >< Something came up after school today, so can you go home first? I’m really, really sorry!!”

My mood sank instantly.

It wasn’t club activity or committee work. She hadn’t been in any to begin with, and even if she had, it was already the season to quit.

We’d been spending every afternoon together lately. So maybe she just wanted to spend time with her friends before graduation.

That wouldn’t be strange.

…Even knowing that, I still felt a little down as I replied that it was fine.

And it wasn’t like I was completely free either.

I had something to take care of after school too.

I hadn’t told her yet since it wouldn’t take long, but maybe it was better this way. That morning, a junior had stopped me between classes and said they wanted to talk.

It wasn’t like our school had delinquents dragging people behind buildings to shake them down or anything.

So I wasn’t really worried… but still, being called out by a junior? What was that about?

I almost asked Aika about it at lunch, but… knowing her, she’d probably say something like “maybe it’s a shakedown,” so I decided against it.

“Kasahara, are you listening?”

The sound of my phone snapping shut must’ve caught the physics teacher’s attention.

If I argued now, it would just turn into more trouble. So I gave a small bow of apology.

For a second, the teacher looked blank—confused.

Normally, when students apologized, he’d go on a long rant like, “If saying sorry fixed everything, we wouldn’t need the police, would we?”

But this time, he said nothing.

The classroom buzzed in confusion. I could feel eyes flicking toward me, whispering—but I didn’t care.

I’d heard worse before. This was nothing new.

“Uh… ahem. Everyone quiet down. Focus, alright? Kasahara too. Next… sigh…”

He avoided my eyes and turned back to the textbook.

And just like that, I stopped listening entirely and looked out the window.

Until recently, I thought of this place as a “box.”

We were just stuff shoved inside whether we wanted it or not—like spoiled oranges in a crate. That’s what someone once said.

Nothing fun. Nothing meaningful. I hated school.

Even now, that hasn’t really changed.

No one ever taught us how to deal with people properly.

They just said, “Make friends,” like it was something obvious.

But what if you never learned how?

Aika was good at making friends.

Calling it “good at it” might already mean I was misunderstanding something.

Still, she could walk into a classroom full of strangers and blend in immediately.

I couldn’t.

I only knew Aika. I didn’t know how to deal with anyone else.

And because of that, people stopped coming near me.

Before I knew it, I was alone.

Maybe that’s when I started becoming afraid.

Watching girls form groups and bully each other… I started thinking it might be easier to just stay alone.

Better than forcing my way in and getting hurt.

I convinced myself that was the correct answer.

And I even thought Aika was foolish for trying to build friendships so easily.

The moment I realized I was wrong was in second year of middle school.

After transferring schools, I barely responded to anyone. I didn’t really talk.

They started calling me “doll.”

At first, I didn’t care.

Then it escalated.

Eventually, they called me “robot.”

That was when I finally understood what they meant.

It was already too late by then.

Even so, I didn’t change.

I went on to high school.

And I watched Aika grow closer to others… while I grew more irritated.

Back then, I thought it was jealousy toward her friends.

Some adults say what we learn inside this “box” called school won’t help us in the future.

Math beyond basic arithmetic? Unnecessary.

And honestly… maybe they’re right.

No one uses factorization in daily life. Not as a housewife. Not in office work.

(And the only reason I keep thinking about it is because I hate it. That’s all.)

The more I thought about it, the more pointless school felt.

When I once said that to Aika, she told me:

“It’s also where you learn how to deal with people.”

Back then I thought it was stupid.

Now… I somehow understood it.

And that annoyed me a little.

Maybe the change in me was just because I finally had room to breathe.

I used to be afraid—constantly afraid that Aika would be taken away from me.

That someday, she’d leave.

I tried to hold on tightly, in the wrong, desperate ways… but eventually, she would’ve left anyway.

College. Work. Life.

That’s what I always thought.

That’s why I was so shaken by what happened before.

I couldn’t understand why she was trying to distance herself.

I only thought about it, over and over, with no answer.

And when I finally tried to force her to stay like always… she rejected me for the first time.

And I got hurt.

But now, I’m fine.

Because I understand what this feeling is.

Relief.

Aika is my girlfriend now.

So unless something goes wrong, we’ll be together.

Of course, couples can fight and break up someday—but that would be a decision we both make.

And I’m confident I’ll keep loving her.

Maybe… we might even go back to how we were.

But that day isn’t near.

Because our relationship is wrong.

If anyone finds out, we won’t be able to stay together.

But I won’t let that happen.

That thought came from Aika’s feelings.

It’s not one-sided anymore.

It’s mutual.

And just knowing that made everything easier to breathe through.

I even started thinking I should at least return greetings like she said.

…Not that I suddenly want friends or anything.

“Alright, next week I’ll give you a quiz from this section.”

The teacher’s voice snapped me back.

I hadn’t been listening at all.

Great.

The class groaned, and the teacher smirked.

“Be grateful it’s not a surprise test.”

I sighed.

Guess I’ll study when I get home.

At the same time, the bell rang.

I shoved my books into my bag and headed out quickly.

Let’s just finish this and go home.

Aika would be late today anyway, so I’d have to clean the bath.

The place I was called to was a small rest area near the courtyard.

It was my favorite spot.

In summer, sitting on the bench under the trees while reading felt perfect.

Most students preferred the flowerbeds in the courtyard, so this place was usually empty.

Quiet. Calm.

“Still not here…”

The junior I was supposed to meet wasn’t around yet.

Maybe she had gym class after another grade… or something like that.

I stretched out on the bench.

This time of year, it’s too cold here for most people anyway.

So no one would come.

Which makes me wonder again—why call me here?

Somehow, the idea of a “shakedown” made me almost laugh.

The trees had already shed most of their leaves.

Weeds grew unchecked.

The old groundskeeper had been hospitalized, so no one maintained it anymore.

Even the new staff didn’t bother coming here.

Maybe the old man just liked odd places like this.

“Se-senpai! S-sorry I’m late!”

The junior finally appeared, out of breath, shoulders rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.

She didn’t need to rush this much…

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yes! I’m sorry for calling you somewhere like this so suddenly…”

“It’s fine.”

Her ribbon was blue—second year.

First years were green, second years blue, and ours red.

“U-um… I heard you’re applying to an outside university…”

Not many students from our school did that.

So naturally, people paid attention.

I hated that.

“Yes. An art university.”

“And… you’re going with Aika-senpai, right?”

“Yes.”

“You two… are really close, aren’t you?”

“…Yeah.”

“Th-thank you.”

If that was all she wanted to say, dragging me out here was kind of annoying.

It must’ve shown on my face, because she quickly apologized again and again.

Finally, she gathered her courage.

“My name is Okubo, second year… I transferred in from another school. At first I couldn’t fit into class… but I saw you and thought… you were really cool.”

She still wouldn’t look at me.

“Back then, I admired you. I wanted to be like Kasahara-senpai. But then… it slowly turned into something else…”

Her voice trembled. Her hands shook.

I stayed silent.

The wind passed between us, cold.

If I said anything careless now, it would probably break her courage.

“I-I know I can’t go with you… I don’t have talent for art or anything… but I…”

She clenched her fists.

“I like you…! I really like you! You’re cool and beautiful and sometimes you look lonely and I love all of it… so please don’t go far away…!”

Then she collapsed to her knees and started crying.

For a moment, I didn’t know what to do.

But then I understood.

It wasn’t exactly the same… but her feelings were close to mine.

Close to how I used to be.

Maybe even close to how I still am.

So I knelt down and gently hugged her.

I’d normally never do something like this.

If someone cried, I would’ve just left them alone.

But I couldn’t this time.

I patted her back softly, brushing her hair.

It only made her cry harder.

“Sorry… I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. Are you calm now?”

“I… I didn’t mean to cry…”

“It’s fine. …Thank you.”

I wiped her tears.

Her face was actually very cute.

When she finally met my eyes, she immediately blushed and looked away.

“Are you okay now?”

“Y-yes…”

She stepped back quickly, flustered.

Then she finally looked at me properly.

“…Was that a confession?”

“Y-yes…”

“Love, right?”

“Y-yes…”

“I see… thank you.”

She looked confused.

Of course she would.

That wasn’t really an answer.

But I still had to say it.

“Sorry. I already have someone I like. Someone really important. I don’t want to lose her, and I don’t want to be apart from her. So I can’t accept your feelings.”

She shook her head quickly, saying it was enough just to tell me.

A very kind girl.

And… she even seemed to realize there was someone I loved.

She just didn’t know who.

After she left, I watched her go.

Then I picked up my bag.

Thinking, somewhat out of place…

I hope she meets someone else someday.

And falls in love properly.

I took the path toward the school gate, passing behind the gym instead of the courtyard.

That’s when I saw her.

A familiar silhouette in the shadow of the school building.