Chapter 34
Childhood Isilia had called to him more often than when she was with him. Despite the obvious harassment, Luyian silently carried out the tasks assigned to him. Jordan had a personality that enjoyed rebellion, so getting worked up would only be a loss.
Thus, he had finished in one day what was expected to take at least a week. The trivial matters had been resolved the moment he arrived at the palace this morning. While preparing to return to the mansion, the crown prince, having heard the news, summoned him. It had been four days since he first heard the prince’s incomprehensible words. Today, four days after the wedding, the work Jordan had offloaded onto him was finally complete. Sitting silently, thinking silence was the proper answer, had become tiresome.
“You have a surprisingly extreme side,” Jordan remarked.
“…….”
“By the way, what are you trying to do by finishing a week’s worth of work in a single day? Thanks to you, the Foreign Affairs Department has far less to do.”
So that was why all their work had ended up on his plate—no wonder there had been so much. Luyian chose silence. No need to reply; soon enough Jordan would lose interest and change the subject. Confirming his suspicion, Jordan asked about Marilian: was she well? Since she was his aide, he must have seen her this morning. Wasn’t it odd to not notice the strangeness of the question? Asking Luyian something he could have asked directly seemed irritating.
“I’m not sure. I don’t know how she will accept the Endrians family.”
“If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine. I can just ask her myself.”
“…….”
Then why ask him at all? Swallowing the words that rose to his throat, Luyian lowered his gaze. Jordan, having already lost interest, changed the subject. When asked why he wasn’t drinking tea, Luyian hesitated. The cup was set before him, but he didn’t touch it. The tea served in the office he had visited at the crown prince’s summons had been painfully sweet. Today, being the last, it would be even sweeter than the past three days—beyond description.
“…….”
That was a difficult question. He looked down at the cup on the table. The color of the black tea was so dark the bottom could not be seen. Tilting it slightly, he noticed clumps of what appeared to be sugar.
“Why aren’t you drinking it yet?”
The face offering tea, in a gentler tone than usual, carried a mischievous air. Yielding to the steady gaze as if determined not to be swayed this time, Luyian lifted the cup. Meeting his azure eyes, Jordan looked down at him.
“Drink it.”
Luyian hesitated, then raised the cup. He remembered Johan’s reluctance to eat salad—this must have been how the child felt. Thinking this calmly, Luyian closed his eyes. The liquid was so thick it could hardly be called tea. The sweetness stabbed at his brain, leaving him speechless for a while. Jordan, who did not let go until Luyian set down the empty cup, finally allowed him to go with a face that looked refreshed.
Luyian frowned, thinking of the crown prince. The tea—if it could even be called that—was so sweet it woke him, yet the mental fatigue remained. He would have to force himself to sleep; otherwise, his body surely wouldn’t endure. Although the workload had decreased, it had not disappeared. Even without Jordan giving him extra tasks, Luyian was a busy man. At dawn, he would return to the palace.
“…….”
Upon arriving at the mansion, the children ran to greet him. He hugged each delighted face before entering the room. Lying down on the bed to sleep, drowsiness overtook him. On the way to the mansion, he thought he had glimpsed a carriage passing in the opposite direction… but fatigue dulled his thoughts.
Looking out the window, he saw the darkening sky. Though still tired, sleep no longer came. His body, accustomed to short naps, felt uncomfortable. Luyian sighed. Rising and opening the door, he saw a familiar face: his pampered son. Bending to meet his gaze, he found those azure eyes full of tears. Before he could ask why, Johan began to whimper. The child’s muffled cries escaped in small sobs. Luyian gave up expecting an answer and patted his son’s head. When asked where El was, he replied she was sleeping in her room.
“Johan.”
“…sniff…”
Reaching out to the child, Luyian picked him up and patted his back. The mother, apparently unable to finish her words, had gone silent. So Isilia must have gone outside. Comforting the child, Luyian went down the stairs. Asking the butler about her whereabouts, he learned she had gone to the Count Nerian’s house—one of his subordinates. Nodding, Luyian went to the garden.
Setting the child down, he found the sulky face calm. Her pout made him smile. Having been held by Jordan for the past few days, he hadn’t seen the children in a while. Not wanting to refuse the rare time with them, Luyian carried Johan to the garden. Placing him on the ground, he bent to pick flowers, weaving them into a circular form. The child watched with shining eyes. When taught how, his tiny hands imitated the motion.
“…….”
Watching the wreath take shape in Johan’s hands, Luyian was lost in thought. On the one day in her life a noble lady could wear a tiara, Isilia had chosen a flower crown. He recalled her insisting, even when asked repeatedly if she was sure, that it was fine. Only once in a lifetime. Even with remarriage, one could not wear a tiara. Yet she had laughed, saying the flowers she bought were enough. He could not understand her.
[But the others might sneer… today… aren’t you the main character?]
Isilia had smiled, saying it was fine. Luyian, though indifferent to money, knew that young ladies liked things that sparkled. A jewel-studded tiara would surely look more beautiful than a humble flower crown to a young girl.
[It’s a tiara you can wear only once. A flower crown can be worn anytime, right?]
Yet young Isilia had chosen the flowers she brought over the tiara. She smiled shyly, saying it didn’t matter, placing ordinary, easily obtainable flowers on her head. Approaching to whisper her feelings, perhaps finding him stiff, she had done so gently.
It had been startling. The faint sound that had lingered in his ears now struck loudly for the first time. Golden eyes, faintly folded in a smiling crescent, were so lovely he could not look away.
“…….”
He was snapped from his thoughts by the sound calling him. Her gentle gaze looked up at him. Why had Isilia chosen the humble flower crown back then? He wondered. Examining the child’s wreath, he sensed movement across from him. The golden eyes widened as they saw him and Johan.
“Oh? Mom!”
Johan called to his wife. Luyian’s eyes met Isilia’s. The trembling golden eyes betrayed her surprise.
“Dad.”
Calling him first, then her, she said nothing further. Her face darkened as she looked at their young son. Was she ill? Johan seemed puzzled as well. Isilia spoke in a trembling voice, signaling she was not well. Instinctively, Luyian stepped forward. The golden eyes watched him. He stepped forward again. The eyes closed.
“…Mom?”
Hearing his son’s alarmed voice, Luyian struck the ground. His hair turned white. The sound made his ears feel as if they would burst, leaving him dazed. By the time he regained his senses, he was holding the collapsed woman.
Her eyelashes remained closed, unchanged even two days after she had collapsed in the garden. Waiting for Isilia to open her eyes, he had been late arriving at the palace—two days in a row. Or was it three today? Two days ago, Johan had stood by her door, sobbing. Yesterday, El had simply watched her lying down.
Each day grew more anxious. Even in the palace, it had disrupted his work. Frequent mistakes led many to ask if he was unwell. Some offered words of concern, but… he could not remember.
Isilia would not open her eyes.
Only that thought lingered in his mind. Cold sweat ran from the hand holding documents. He could not focus on work. Dizziness struck repeatedly. Occasionally, he thought he glimpsed amber eyes looking at him, but… he could not be sure. He had no memory. His mind was scattered. The more time passed, the greater his anxiety, the more frequent the dizziness.
The crown prince, hearing that a close friend had collapsed, sent a skilled physician, but Luyian did not trust them. He could not believe the complacent words of those claiming she was merely asleep from fatigue. One day passed, then two. Three days since his wife collapsed. Tired, he laid his hand on his eyes. On the carriage ride back to the palace, his sleeping wife appeared before him. Her eyelashes shimmered in the light—so melancholy.
“…….”
A sentiment out of place with the situation. He lowered his clasped hands to his knees. Over the past two days, he realized one thing: the reason his chest ached whenever he saw those golden eyes. It was guilt. He had ruined the most lively child, ignoring them without any consolation.
Though the feelings could not be fully explained by one word, it was certainly part of a complex mix: guilt pressed upon his chest. The dizziness paralyzed his thoughts.
“Duke.”
Luyian looked up. Jordan, sitting in the office with an indifferent expression, spoke.
