Chapter 28
. Foreigner in the Frozen Land (3)
Kaela envied the unconscious Empress.
She envied the dead mother of the gardener who had worked at the Osterine ducal townhouse. She envied death—or a state close to death—that peaceful descent into oblivion.
It was the very death she had desperately wished for when she lay in the northern tower of Ruisenford.
So why was it never granted to her?
What was the point of living?
Everything exhausted her now, and at times even her father—resting heavily upon her shoulders—felt like a burden she shamefully wished to escape.
The Emperor constantly picked fights. No matter how much wealth the House of Osterine possessed, before imperial authority they were powerless.
If the Emperor ordered death, then one died.
That was the Empire.
Continuing this suffocating life in Ruisenford, where she was treated as though she did not exist, merely delayed the speed at which death would eventually come.
Everything was tiring.
Nothing held meaning anymore.
So she wished she would simply die soon.
And those who desperately longed for death were often the quickest to realize whether what they saw upon opening their eyes was reality or not.
Kaela immediately knew she had survived again.
“Kaela.”
Peon stood close beside her, his eyes bloodshot.
Just by looking at the wall behind him, she knew this was Ruisenford. Though something felt slightly unfamiliar—it was not the Grand Duchess’s bedroom she had grown accustomed to.
“Can you hear my voice?”
She could.
She had carried him in her heart for so long that even with her eyes closed she would have recognized his voice.
“Do you know who I am?”
Urgency saturated his voice.
Kaela gave a faint nod and tried to sit up.
“You mustn’t get up. Don’t move.”
Had she died like this, it would have been the perfect death for Kaela.
But at the same time, it would have been the worst possible death for Ruisenford, so Peon must have fought desperately to prevent it.
That was probably why he remained by her side with such a rough, unshaven face.
The moment she awakened, her thoughts immediately drifted in that direction.
Perhaps it felt so strange because the Grand Duke—who had never once stayed beside her before—was here now.
“Your Grace the Grand Duchess. I’ll check your temperature first.”
While Peon stepped back briefly, the physician approached.
So we’ve returned to the beginning again.
She was still the Grand Duchess of Ruisenford.
What kind of insults would she receive this time?
Would they call her spiteful for collapsing dramatically after obediently eating what she had been told to eat?
“You were unconscious for three days. I’m relieved you’ve awakened.”
The kind-faced physician answered the question Kaela had wondered about first.
“Your fever has gone down significantly. Good. Now, please follow my finger with your eyes.”
Three whole days?
Yet her body did not feel heavy or painful. Rather, she felt refreshed, as though she had slept deeply.
She certainly did not feel like someone who had eaten an entire plate of Ferenko drenched in Tur berries.
What medicine had they used?
Remembering the Tur berries—which made her whole body itch just thinking about them—Kaela shrank her shoulders.
She had always tried to avoid them.
They were hardly used except in Ferenko and a few desserts, and yet because of them she had become “the Emperor’s spy who refused to become a true person of Ruisenford.”
“Your condition was extremely severe. I truly thought you would not survive the crisis. I’m glad.”
Exactly.
Why hadn’t she died?
Kaela lowered her gaze.
She had intended to die the moment she arrived in Ruisenford, so why had she survived?
She was so foolish that she could not even carry out a death she had already attempted once before.
“My lady, my lady. I’m so relieved you woke up. You have no idea how much we prayed.”
Still, seeing the maids from Osterine approach with swollen faces from crying made her feel guilty.
She did not care what happened to anything else, but she still felt responsible for protecting these three.
“It is my fault for failing to stop them from giving you dangerous food. I apologize, my lady.”
Cecil, the eldest maid, calmly lowered her head.
Kaela slowly shook her own.
“That’s not true…”
The first words she managed to speak came out horribly cracked.
The maids immediately turned pale.
“My lady, you mustn’t speak yet!”
“Water…”
She wanted to gulp down icy cold water, but after much fuss, they only brought a tiny amount of lukewarm water.
Kaela gratefully drank even that.
“Are you cold at all?”
Ever since their delicate young lady had come north where freezing winds constantly blew, the maids had worried endlessly.
Cecil, the oldest among them, had died here after falling ill while caring for Kaela.
Denise had married here.
And the youngest, Marie, had stayed beside Kaela until the very end—and after Kaela’s later confinement, no one knew what became of her.
“I’m fine. It’s hot.”
So much firewood had been stuffed into the fireplace that flames nearly licked beyond the iron grate.
Even so, the physician calmly reminded them to maintain proper humidity and ventilation.
Kaela did not recognize this female physician.
She was not the Grand Duke’s usual doctor.
Outsiders were not normally permitted into Ruisenford Castle, yet somehow this woman had entered.
But Kaela quickly lost interest.
It was no concern of hers anymore.
She had no desire to fuss over acting like a Grand Duchess who no longer possessed any authority.
Besides, in a few years this place would be destroyed after the Emperor accused it of treason anyway.
Since she had been confined later on, she did not know the details of what happened.
But even while she had still been Grand Duchess, no one had spoken to her properly, and Peon himself had shown no interest in such matters.
“Her Grace’s recovery speed is remarkable.”
The physician quietly reported to the Grand Duke, who had given his own bedroom to his newlywed wife and now sat silently in the corner.
“There is almost no internal damage, and the swelling has already subsided. It is thanks to the Retilin. If she rests well and is careful with food, she should recover soon.”
It truly was a miraculous medicine.
Peon, who had brought back the medicine himself, stared at the curtained bed.
“The weather is still cold. Is this enough?”
“Of course she must remain warm. This is sufficient. But you must not overdo it. This room is already too hot and dry. Moderation is important in all things.”
The physician was clearly speaking to the Grand Duke, who for the past three days had anxiously stuffed more and more logs into the fireplace whenever Kaela’s condition worsened.
The Grand Duke silently nodded.
“She should begin with light meals. Once she regains some strength, she will likely be able to walk again soon. But you truly must be careful with food.”
“Of course we will.”
For the first time in Ruisenford’s history, its lord personally began interfering with the kitchen hierarchy, servant structure, and even the kitchen facilities themselves.
After nodding once more, Peon stood.
Now that he had seen Kaela awake, that was enough.
The maids—who had not slept properly and remained constantly at her side—would care for her better than he could.
He tried to force himself to turn away from the bed and leave.
“Cough…”
But his gaze betrayed him again, immediately snapping toward Kaela as she gave a weak cough.
Was something wrong?
His heart, which had been clenched in terror for three days straight, dropped once more.
“I’m fine…”
Not only Peon, but the maids as well had instantly crowded around her, forcing Kaela to weakly wave her hand and nearly whisper the reassurance.
“Drink more water.”
Striding over quickly, Peon poured more water and personally helped her drink.
His movements were surprisingly practiced.
In truth, the tiny amount she had been given earlier had barely wet her lips, so Kaela eagerly accepted the water.
The physician allowed it, so she finished half the cup.
Afterward, Peon even wiped the corners of her mouth with a towel.
Then he watched her silently for a long moment before finally speaking.
“I heard everything that happened.”
The maids from Osterine—who had barely eaten and cried constantly—had all testified that “Her Grace repeatedly informed the head maid that Tur berries made her ill, but the head maid responded with extreme disrespect.”
Too many people at the banquet had witnessed the same behavior for anyone to dismiss the testimony simply because the maids were outsiders.
“The investigation is underway. I’ll make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”
Kaela looked at him for a moment before slowly nodding once.
“Yes.”
Then she simply fell silent again.
“It should never have happened. I’m truly sorry, Kaela.”
“It’s alright.”
Her tiny reply carried no emotion whatsoever.
It would have been better if she had cried or become angry.
After gently shaking her head and lowering it again, Kaela no longer seemed to resent him.
No—
she looked as though she no longer expected anything from him at all.
Was this truly the reaction of a newly married noble lady?
A carefully raised daughter of nobility, and a member of the imperial family no less, whose pride should have been immense?
Peon stared at her with a complicated expression when she quietly added one more sentence.
“I’m alright.”
Hearing those words again made the blood drain from Peon’s face.
A dreadful certainty struck him—that she would never again speak to him in the familiar old tone she once used.
“…I see.”
He barely forced the words out.
“That’s fortunate.”
Unable to meet her eyes, he only nodded.
“Then rest. Don’t worry about anything else and focus only on recovering. If there’s anything you need or want, call for me anytime.”
There was nothing she wanted.
Kaela watched him rise in confusion.
Call for him anytime?
He had never said such a thing before.
Why was he acting like this?
“You have no idea how worried His Grace was. For three whole days, no matter how much we begged him to sleep, he refused and personally stayed by your side nursing you.”
The moment the Grand Duke left, Marie began chattering.
“Marie, she’s not ‘my lady’ anymore. It’s ‘Your Grace.’”
“Oh, right! Ahh… I’m still so used to calling her my lady that I can’t adjust. I’m sorry. I’ll fix it quickly.”
Marie smacked her own mouth.
Watching her, Kaela smiled weakly.
After lightly scolding Marie, Cecil approached the bedside table and quietly spoke while organizing it.
“But what Marie said is true, Your Grace. His Grace was always here. Aside from leaving briefly for the investigation, he remained seated in that very spot the entire time. He even wiped Your Grace’s face himself.”
Having served the young lady between Osterine and Kraine since childhood, Cecil believed her mistress had married a considerate husband.
“He ordered that Tur berries never again be brought into the castle. He even commanded them to uproot every Tur berry tree growing nearby.”
Oh dear.
Kaela’s first thought was not gratitude, but how much criticism she would now receive for that order.
How many resentful looks would she face?
How much blame?
How much hatred?
It was a terribly harmful habit she had developed in Ruisenford.
Here, she had shrunk smaller and smaller until eventually she became less significant than air itself.
At times a decorative vase placed silently in a hallway received better treatment than she did.
The mockery had also become increasingly subtle over time.
Sometimes people spoke in ways she only realized much later had been ridicule, leaving her clutching her aching chest afterward.
Other times, like the banquet, they attacked openly and relentlessly.
So I’ll have to hear those malicious sneers all over again.
Well, it was nothing new.
“That rude head maid has been imprisoned. Don’t even think about her, Your Grace.”
Kaela’s eyes widened.
“Is that really true?”
“Yes. Of course it is. That’s only proper. The chef was arrested too. They arrested everyone who behaved disrespectfully toward Your Grace at the banquet.”
That couldn’t be possible.
Kaela remembered the unbelievable head maid who controlled Ruisenford Castle and refused to hand over the storage keys to the young Grand Duchess until the very end.
That woman proudly claimed she had personally raised Peon after he was thrown here at twelve years old.
She had practically been his nanny.
And yet she had been imprisoned?
“Why?”
“My goodness, why? My lady—no, Your Grace! How dare they behave so disrespectfully toward the only heir of Duke Osterine and the Emperor’s sole niece, then force food upon you! They should be beheaded immediately!”
“But… I was the one who ate it.”
Cecil stared at her as though she could not understand what had become of her mistress.
“What do you mean? It’s not like you ate it because you wanted to.”
Kaela awkwardly looked away.
True.
She had not wanted to eat it.
So why did she keep instinctively defending that cruel head maid and those rude northern nobles?
Ah.
She had developed far too many harmful habits.
Ruisenford was poison to Kaela.
And the Grand Duke responsible for Ruisenford understood that fact all too well.
He had finally washed properly and shaved.
Now that Kaela had awakened, he did not want her seeing him disheveled.
No matter where he went, he felt as though those clear sky-colored eyes followed him.
Perhaps it was merely because he already felt like a criminal.
“Regen.”
“Yes, Your Grace. The imprisoned offenders are all repeating the same excuses today as well. Though before that… shouldn’t you rest a little? You haven’t slept properly for days, and you’ve barely eaten anything.”
“I’m moving only within reasonable limits, so it’s fine. They’re still saying the same things?”
Though his secretary was full of concern, Peon cut straight to the main issue.
“Yes… well. They keep saying things indirectly like, ‘We didn’t realize it was that serious,’ or, ‘If it was truly that severe, shouldn’t Her Grace have simply refused to eat it?’ Then they finish by saying, ‘It won’t happen again.’”
Ruisenford was isolated and harsh.
People strongly believed weakness was shameful while strength was virtuous.
Furthermore, few understood that ordinary food could become poison to certain individuals.
That ignorance existed in Kraine as well, but Kraine and Osterine were accustomed to outsiders and open to unfamiliar things.
Ruisenford was not.
Peon understood why people forced to battle both the evil dragon and the unforgiving wilderness had become closed-off.
But some things still could not simply be overlooked.
I’m alright.
He had heard her murmur those words countless times.
Before his regression, and after it as well.
The woman always said the same thing.
That it was alright.
That they should simply let things pass as though they were insignificant.
But was she truly alright?
“…I let them live too long.”
Peon stopped walking.
Part of him wondered whether he should hear the final excuses they would make.
No.
That would be pointless.
“At sunrise tomorrow, execute the head maid first.”
