~Chapter 75~
Lincia still didn’t look at Harbirich as she pushed him away.
“Let go of me. I want to be alone.”
“I will let you go.”
Harbirich still held onto her and pleaded.
“Please don’t cry.”
What business of his is it anyway?
Lincia pushed his hand away.
He didn’t resist twice, and eventually stepped back.
Harbirich shoved the ledger he had received carelessly into the shelf and reached out to touch her face.
It seemed like he was trying to wipe away the tears that were just beginning to form.
Lincia smacked his hand away with a sharp *tap*.
With eyes brimming with water, she glared at Harbirich.
“…Do you know how I wrote that ledger?”
“……”
“I wrote every single word carefully, afraid you might someday look into it.”
Though she had learned how to manage internal affairs during her bridal training, that was the first time she had ever handled real administrative work.
That was why Lincia had devoted herself completely to it.
The wealth of the North didn’t belong to her, but to Harbirich.
The ledger that Harbirich had shoved into the shelf moments ago contained all of her effort.
“And you just toss it aside like it’s nothing.”
“Lincia, my intention was—”
Lincia cut him off before he could finish.
“Right. It’s fake anyway, so what does it matter to you.”
She wiped her soaked face with trembling hands.
“Everything real around here already belongs to you.”
Her finger pointed toward the shelves that stretched endlessly, and Harbirich’s breath caught in his throat.
In my small, shabby world, the only thing real is you.
He wanted to say it right then, but even he knew that would be the most foolish thing he could possibly utter to her now.
He moved his lips several times before finally managing to speak.
“If you cry, it will hurt again.”
I wouldn’t care if she blamed me or clawed at me if it would ease her heart.
But I can’t bear the thought of her suffering again because of it.
Lincia stared at him with tearful eyes, then finally opened her mouth.
“…Aren’t we both just too shameless?”
“……”
“You and me both. Just…”
Lincia couldn’t finish the sentence and took a deep breath.
Harbirich quickly replied.
“You are not shameless.”
Not shameless? Really?
I’m a Dürand, whining like this to a Cassius like you.
Lincia swallowed her bitter laugh along with her tears.
She composed herself and turned away.
“I’m sorry, but I just want to be alone.”
As Harbirich reached out toward the woman trembling with her back to him, her voice came faster than his movement.
“Please don’t follow me.”
But her request sounded so heartbroken that breaking it felt like everything would truly end.
So Harbirich slowly lowered his hand.
* * *
When Harbirich finished work that day and returned to his bedroom, Lincia was not there.
“My lady has returned to her original chamber.”
Of course. I should have known.
Earlier that day, he had felt so happy it almost frightened him — as if his heart might stop from the feeling.
There was no one to blame.
He had been the one who deceived Lincia all those years.
He had also been the one who, giddy with the thought of finally giving her something after all that deceit, confessed his past sins himself.
Ever since he decided he wanted to live with Lincia, the truth had always been destined to come out.
As his wife, she had every right to review all of the North’s finances.
Even so, that it happened today — it felt like fate itself was slapping him across the face, telling him to know his place.
He gave a hollow laugh as he set down the sketchbooks, art albums, and novels he had brought onto the bedside table.
“Understood.”
Erna, Lincia’s maid who had stayed behind to report to him, bowed politely and left.
That night, Harbirich couldn’t sleep for a long time.
Eventually, he went to Lincia’s old chamber.
He knew she would be behind that familiar wooden door, but he couldn’t bring himself to knock.
Hue, who was standing guard, looked like he wanted to ask what was wrong but didn’t say a word.
* * *
Harbirich had deceived her for years.
Lying in the bed she used before they shared a room, Lincia curled up tightly.
“I’m afraid you’ll overwork yourself.”
Now, that same man fretted over her every moment, as if each day she lived was precious.
Yet in the past, he had watched silently while she spent weeks and months toiling in vain.
She was angry — hurt, and angry — but when she thought about it, the liar wasn’t Harbirich. It was her.
That realization made her feel even worse.
After she forced herself to finish dinner in that sour mood, Erna came in carrying an armful of items.
“His Grace sent these.”
A quick glance showed sketchbooks and books — the same ones she’d seen before.
“Send them back.”
As she turned her head away, something familiar caught her eye.
It was their wedding portrait sketch.
Erna noticed her gaze lingering.
“Should I leave this one?”
“No.”
Lincia tore her eyes away from the sketch and stopped just as she was about to lie down.
She turned to Erna.
“Can you ask if I may go to the study?”
“Yes, my lady.”
Erna returned soon after.
“He said you may go freely.”
Granted permission, Lincia got dressed and stepped out.
Hue, who had been waiting, followed close behind.
It was awkward — uncomfortable — and she wanted to send him away, but she couldn’t.
“I won’t complain.”
She had already said as much to Harbirich.
Thinking about that made her laugh bitterly.
He had deceived her for years, yet she was the one bound by her own words.
As she read through the books in the study, her anger began to fade a little.
Then her eyes caught a volume about northern herbs.
Harbirich had no memory of their wedding night.
He wouldn’t have lied about something like that, so it must have been true.
“You looked unwell that night. Maybe that’s why you can’t remember.”
Her thoughts hadn’t changed much since then.
Maybe that night, Harbirich had been under the influence of something she didn’t know about.
Even if that were true, any information she could find here was probably already in his hands.
Still, she wanted to try.
He had never believed her, so he probably hadn’t looked into it.
She wanted to prove — somehow — that she wasn’t a liar.
Until now, she’d thought the truth would come out when the baby was born, so all she had to do was wait.
But now anxiety crept in.
What if the baby is born looking nothing like him, and only like me?
“Lincia, I wish to be the child’s father.”
He had said that much, so Harbirich would not reject the child.
But Lincia didn’t want to remain a liar to him — especially now that the truth of his own two years of deceit was out.
Just then, as she was reading the titles on the shelf, someone called out to her.
“Your Grace.”
