Chapter 58
“…No.”
When Lincia carefully held Harvich’s shoulder, he turned his head. His reddened eyes came into view.
“Why aren’t you eating? Was my confession that terrible?”
A single tear rolled down his cheek.
A single tear rolled down his cheek.
“If I had known my confession would hurt you, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“Do you… love me?”
Harvich didn’t answer.
Clear drops fell again and again onto the back of his hand, breaking apart like shattered glass. He looked like a man who could no longer control his emotions.
“My heart loves you so much it feels disgusting and unbearable.”
It was such a harsh way to use the word love.
After saying that, the man buried his face against Lincia’s shoulder.
“Why would you think that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why did you say disgusting and unbearable?”
“Because my fear of losing you is greater than my desire to protect the child.”
“…”
“I keep wishing there were no child.”
Harvich held Lincia even tighter. The sound of his heart pounding echoed loudly between them.
“I hate myself for that. I know how much you care for the child.”
Harvich let out a long breath. His hot breath scattered across her neck. Lincia hesitated, then held his hand. The solid hand that had been wet with tears felt slightly cold.
“Yes.”
Harvich’s voice trembled, but there was no hesitation. His words didn’t sound like a lie.
“Look at me.”
She gently brushed his hand with her fingers. Harvich stiffened slightly, surprised by her touch. He let out a sigh-like murmur a beat later.
“…I don’t want to.”
“I want to see your face.”
Harvich brushed her hand in return. The calloused texture of his fingers felt unfamiliar.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You’ll be disappointed.”
Harvich’s heartbeat grew faster than before. He gripped her hand tightly.
“What are you talking about?”
“The face you like isn’t this one, is it?”
Lincia parted her lips.
Before she could ask what he meant, his confession came first.
“I saw your painting.”
“…My painting?”
Lincia was startled.
It was the painting she’d once drawn, romanticizing a past that could never return. Her face flushed with embarrassment.
The more she tried to push him away, the tighter Harvich held her.
“I’m sorry for looking without permission. But I heard you collapsed in your studio…”
Overwhelmed by emotion, Harvich began to cry again. His tears soaked her shoulder, leaving Lincia at a loss. She reached out and gently stroked his back.
“I didn’t mean to get angry.”
It was her first time seeing him cry. It was strange, but it also hurt to watch.
“I won’t be disappointed. Won’t you show me your face?”
Harvich hesitated, then carefully pulled away from her arms. He lowered his head, fidgeting with her fingers.
“Harvich.”
When she said his name, he looked up.
His face was wet with tears, but he wasn’t ugly. The usual stiffness was gone, replaced by warmth and tenderness in his red eyes.
Lincia’s heart trembled at the sight. She reached out and cupped his face.
When she brushed his damp skin, he leaned into her palm. The soft, ticklish touch made her lips tingle.
“I love you.”
When I returned to the palace, I wanted to say these words.
Harvich whispered softly. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it.
“I love you, Lincia.”
She could hear his heartbeat clearly. He didn’t smile, but there was no deceit in his eyes.
In the end, Lincia decided to foolishly believe him.
“…Do you still love me?”
***
Anna went to the apothecary for simple treatment.
There should have been a resident physician, but it was late, and no one was there.
She sat down and searched for herbs that could help with swelling.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
Yulias was standing there, silent and still.
Startled, Anna flinched.
“…Come here.”
Yulias spoke in a low, heavy voice and took the herbs from her hand. Then he began unwrapping the bandage around her ankle.
“I can do it myself!”
Yulias sighed as he held her swollen ankle. When he brushed near her bone, a faint pain followed.
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“It’s fine. I can walk, but I ran earlier…”
“Anna, do you want to return to the palace?”
At that, Anna’s eyes widened.
“I don’t have my sister here, or you… It’s just—my heart hurts too much.”
Anna gently reached out and brushed his hair. Even though he was older now, moments like this made him seem like the boy he once was. Yulias leaned into her hand, as if comforted by the touch.
“How can we bring my sister back to the palace?”
“…Really? What should we do?”
Yulias lowered his gaze again. He squeezed the herbs, made a paste, and carefully applied it to her ankle.
His voice was quieter than usual. His actions were uncharacteristically tender. Anna finally spoke.
“…Did you drink?”
“Yeah. How’s my sister? She’s not going to die, right?”
His eyes drooped.
Anna looked at him closely.
It was too dark to see clearly, but his reddened eyes made her chest ache.
Even though she now served Lincia, Anna could never bring herself to be cruel to Yulias.
Originally, she had been his maid, not Lincia’s.
She was of low birth, but the Empress had appointed her to serve Yulias—only to mock him.
So that the lowly-born could play with the lowly-born.
Anna had always known being assigned to Yulias was his misfortune.
Maybe that’s why she couldn’t treat him harshly. Even when she was offered promotions for abandoning him, she refused and stayed by his side.
She was bullied for it and forced to do work unfit for a maid, but it was still easier than being cruel to a child.
And besides, Anna knew how Yulias felt about Lincia.
“Anna. I think I need to become Emperor.”
“…Because of Her Highness?”
Yulias didn’t answer clearly. He just smiled faintly, as if to say yes.
“Yes. They said it was just anemia.”
Though born royal, he had been excluded from lessons and quietly ostracized. His mother, the Empress, cursed and beat him whenever she was drunk.
Through all that torment, only Lincia had treated Yulias like family.
And she had also saved Anna’s life.
“I only have my sister. Every time she gets sick, it feels like my heart is breaking. I just want her to return to the palace… How can I make her understand?”
