[CHAPTER 110]
Lincia only turned her body after confirming that Harvich had entered the villa.
As always, Anna waited silently for Lincia. Lincia felt grateful for Anna’s consistent patience, yet also a little embarrassed.
Whether or not Anna understood Lincia’s feelings, she held her hand tightly.
“It’s getting late, so we can only go this far today.”
Lincia let Anna guide her along, pretending not to notice, while feeling a familiar sense of disillusionment within herself.
When Lincia stopped walking, Anna turned back to look at her.
“…Your Highness?”
Lincia slowly parted her lips, gazing at the clear green eyes.
“Don’t you feel frustrated?”
“Huh? About what?”
“…Me, I mean.”
Lincia knew how upset Anna had been about Harvich’s attitude when she arrived at the Duchy of Cassius.
For a year, Anna had expressed displeasure to Harvich on Lincia’s behalf, since Lincia had no proper servants.
Moreover, there were other embarrassing things for Anna. Lincia had witnessed countless moments in the duchy that were unbecoming for her: being suspected of infidelity by her husband, escaping with just one guard and being caught in a day, not receiving proper treatment as duchess, and even being tricked into taking poison.
Even after all that, Lincia still loved Harvich.
From a third-person perspective, it must have seemed pitiful.
“Having someone like me as your mistress might feel frustrating…”
Lincia trailed off.
She had always wanted to ask Anna if being with her was truly okay, but fear of the answer had kept her silent. Nervously, she looked at Anna, then lowered her head, unable to meet her pure face.
Anna stared at Lincia for a long moment before speaking.
“I like Yulias.”
It was a statement that didn’t match the context of their conversation. Lincia lifted her head to look at Anna. There was a big gap between guessing Anna’s feelings and hearing them directly.
Lincia’s eyes wavered uncontrollably.
“Huh?”
“Honestly, I know there are countless reasons not to like him.”
Her attitude toward the princess. The attempted abduction because he couldn’t understand words properly. He’s naturally a bit cold, after all.
“Above all, Your Highness doesn’t like Yulias either.”
Anna murmured in a low voice.
Lincia parted her lips. Regardless of her own feelings, she had no intention of denying the relationship between Anna and Yulias. She wanted to say it was okay, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Yet my heart keeps going there.”
“…Ah.”
“Were you disappointed that I liked Yulias?”
“No. That couldn’t be true.”
Lincia shook her head repeatedly at Anna’s question.
“I feel the same.”
Feelings cannot be controlled at will.
Anna held Lincia’s hand tightly again. Even through gloves, Anna’s cold hand could be felt.
“So it’s okay. You follow your heart, Your Highness.”
Anna smiled brightly.
“I’m always on your side.”
Lincia felt a warmth rise in her chest at Anna’s sincere words.
* * *
It was a night that sleep would not come easily.
Harvich returned to his bedroom after washing and stood by the window.
Lincia was still standing near the legs where he first saw her. Harvich watched them through the curtain, half covering the window.
He could see the two women occasionally smiling at each other as they held hands. The gentle curve of Lincia’s lips was something he rarely saw.
Even though Lincia would instantly stop smiling if she knew he was watching, Harvich couldn’t take his eyes off her.
Was it because he feared Lincia, knowing he was the cause of all her misfortune, might leave him? Harvich stared endlessly at Lincia’s serene smile.
Knowing that the outcome might be unfavorable, he could not choose to withhold the truth from her.
Harvich did not want Lincia to remain unaware of what he would later be caught for.
He remembered the time he incurred her anger by having her make manipulated ledgers.
“…This isn’t a document I wrote.”
“So you deceived me?”
Harvich vividly recalled the expression on Lincia’s face that day. Gripping the curtain, he watched Lincia and Anna enter the villa and then sat on the bed. When Lincia disappeared from sight, a sharp pain struck his head, and he habitually pressed his temple.
His chronic headache had worsened since realizing he himself was the source of Lincia’s misfortune.
Endless guilt and self-loathing surged from within.
Even though his stomach ached with remorse, he still could not bring himself to let Lincia go.
His body was fatigued, but there were too many thoughts to sleep.
He wanted to talk to Lincia.
But in his current state, neither he nor Lincia would want to converse. To achieve his desire, he had to sleep.
He reluctantly lay down, though sleep would not come easily.
Harvich tossed and turned all night, eyes closed, until early morning when he heard a sound from Lincia’s room and immediately got up.
He looked in the mirror, making himself appear as presentable as possible.
After breakfast, Harvich headed to Lincia’s room.
Lincia did not drive away the early visitor.
“Did you get enough sleep?”
“…I couldn’t sleep.”
Harvich looked at her clear face, now with some color, and answered honestly.
“Why?”
Harvich bit the soft flesh inside his mouth, a gesture filled with genuine concern.
It had been a long time since he had felt Lincia’s kindness.
He wanted to pretend he didn’t know.
He didn’t want to speak of the newly learned facts. Harvich held Lincia’s fingertips and, as if resolved, parted his lips.
“I learned something new at the duke’s estate.”
* * *
Lincia looked at the man who admitted he had been the cause of her misery with a nearly lifeless face. Honestly, his words were neither shocking nor surprising.
“So?”
That night, anyone familiar with Harvich would have noticed his strange behavior.
Lincia did not reject the unusual Harvich.
“…I am sorry.”
Was there any meaning in apologizing now?
“I caused you trouble.”
Lincia quietly observed the man who lowered his head.
What mattered was not the cause. Whatever reason brought Harvich to her, she would have opened the door for him.
“Regardless of the cause, I was the one who opened the door.”
Ah. I can’t even resent you.
Lincia added after a short sigh.
“To resent you, I’d have to resent myself for loving you first.”
“……”
“To blame you, I’d have to blame myself first, right?”
Her voice carried resignation and self-mockery.
Lincia looked at the man’s face, filled with helplessness and guilt. She understood why he was looking at her that way.
He had no memory of that night.
“If that’s the case, stop it.”
“Lincia.”
“I don’t want to resent you while blaming myself.”
“…I misspoke. So, your ‘stop it’ means—”
Harvich bit his lips. His pale eyelashes trembled.
“Please, don’t stop saying it.”
Harvich pleaded desperately.
