UTBTR 03

Chapter 3

Honestly, I am not a person with many lovable qualities.

Even I thought so myself.

Of course, that didn’t mean I was the type to kneel down and say, “Thank you for loving me!”

I was simply the kind of twisted person who thought,

I don’t seem to be worth that much myself, so I need to tear open your stomach and see what you’re really thinking before I can believe that you actually want to love someone like me.

Then, did I have the physical strength to tear open Railey Kraha’s stomach?

No.

Even if I somehow managed to tear it open, would I actually be able to find out what that inscrutable bastard was thinking?

Also no.

At this point, I wondered if the days when I had waited endlessly for Railey Kraha had actually been less troublesome.

Then I shook my head.

Back then, I had been living like a complete shut-in.

I would dig through the refrigerator at the convenience store, buy a whole bunch of energy drinks, then spend the entire night drinking them while studying and writing, only to give up again and repeat the process.

I couldn’t accomplish anything.

After returning from that world, I had been unable to write freely.

I eventually published Urging the Author to Reflect on Herself, which was based loosely on what had happened in that world, and then fell into a slump where I couldn’t publish anything new for a long time.

So, compared to that period, things were better now.

I had managed to overcome my writing slump on my own, but thanks to Railey taking care of my daily life, I was also taking better care of my health.

I had always had a small appetite and didn’t eat much.

I was also the kind of person who skipped meals as naturally as eating them.

Naturally, I wasn’t exactly blessed with a healthy constitution.

So for the past four years, I had been going in and out of the hospital like a revolving door.

Recently, I had been eating and sleeping properly.

Still, my stamina didn’t recover very easily.

I had gone downstairs to the convenience store beneath my apartment to buy some vitamin drinks.

But for some reason, I suddenly became nostalgic.

I picked up an energy drink in each hand and put on a melancholy expression.

I couldn’t even handle caffeine very well.

What on earth had I been thinking when I lived on this stuff?

I ended up thinking about Railey Kraha again and let out a deep sigh.

Then, all of a sudden, someone grabbed my wrist.

A large, white hand wrapped comfortably around my wrist, with plenty of room to spare.

“What crazy bastard just grabs a stranger’s wrist like—”

“You weren’t supposed to drink energy drinks.”

“Ah! Fuck, Doctor.”

Unfortunately, it was my primary care doctor.

The same doctor from the internal medicine clinic near my apartment that I had mentioned earlier.

Over the past four years, I had seen him so often that we practically met every day like family.

He was skilled and wealthy enough to have opened his own hospital.

But for some reason, he lived in an old, run-down neighborhood filled with students and people living alone.

Thanks to that, I often ran into him around the neighborhood.

And perhaps because I had practically treated his hospital like my own home, he remembered my face and name.

As a result, I had been under his thorough surveillance for the past four years and was forced to live a healthy lifestyle.

Doctor Jung Si-hoon had pale skin and jet-black hair.

He was surprisingly handsome.

But because he was my doctor, he was practically the devil himself.

Whenever I met up with old classmates I hadn’t seen in a long time and wanted to drink some soju, he would appear like a ghost.

Then he would recite my liver test results from my last examination and disappear.

I wasn’t brave enough to drink after hearing how terrible my liver numbers were, so once he left, I was always the only one drinking fruit juice.

But wait, isn’t sugar also bad for the liver?

Ah, whatever.

Anyway, I could guess why he had suddenly grabbed my wrist this time.

I glanced awkwardly at the energy drinks and gave him a shameless smile.

Doctor Jung looked down at me coldly.

Then, in his calm, gentle doctor-like tone, he repeated what I had said.

“‘Crazy doctor’?”

Damn.

That was a problem too.

“No. I just forgot the comma, so it sounded like that. What I actually meant was, ‘This crazy—doctor! Oh my goodness, it’s so nice to see you!’ I was simply expressing how happy I was to see you, Doctor. It was just an exclamation.”

“If I were your internal organs, I would have killed an owner like you a long time ago.”

Doctor Jung forcibly took the energy drinks from my hands and began returning them one by one to their proper places in the refrigerator.

“No, you misunderstood. I wasn’t going to drink them.”

“I caught you red-handed.”

“I was just reminiscing about the days when I used to drink these and somehow survive. I was getting emotional about the past.”

“Why would you get emotional about that?”

“Because I’m living properly these days!”

I said it proudly and honestly, waving my index finger around.

But the doctor didn’t look convinced.

He stared at me with an extremely pitiful expression.

Then he picked up several packs of vegetables and fruit that looked incredibly healthy and, consequently, incredibly tasteless.

He paid for them.

Then he came back and placed the whole bag into my arms.

“How much of the medicine I prescribed last time have you taken?”

“Come on. What do you take me for? I take it every time I eat!”

“You don’t eat only once a day.”

Fuck.

That sent chills down my spine.

It was true that people didn’t change easily.

And these days, because it was assignment season, I hadn’t been seeing Railey very often.

I only ate properly when Railey specifically called me over and made me eat.

Normally, my meals consisted of instant rice with instant kimchi.

Or instant rice with seaweed.

Or instant rice with canned tuna.

Whatever I ate, I’d eventually get sick of it anyway.

One side dish was enough.

But how did the doctor know?

I put on an extremely guilty expression and quietly took one step backward.

“Doctor, don’t tell me you installed an illegal camera in my apartment. That’s insane. No wonder you keep buying me fruit and healthy juice and feeding me healthy food whenever you run into me. I’m reporting you.”

“I prescribed enough medicine for a week and told you to come back so I could check your stomach and change the medication if necessary. You haven’t come back even though two weeks have passed. It’s obvious.”

Doctor Jung answered with a perfectly calm expression.

“Not everyone in the world is like you, Ah-jin. You should take better care of yourself.”

He then began picking out beer, apparently having originally come to the convenience store for that purpose.

Now that I looked closely, he was already holding things like beef jerky and peanuts in his other hand.

“Oh, Doctor. That white beer was newly imported last week. It’s delicious. I recommend it.”

“How would Ah-jin, who was ordered to stop drinking the week before last, know what the beer imported last week tastes like?”

“……”

I decided to exercise my right to remain silent.

“If I were your internal organs, I really would have killed you.”

Doctor Jung smiled gently while saying something incredibly cruel.

Ignoring my opinion completely, he picked up several green cans.

I hurriedly changed the subject.

“Doctor, are you going to drink alone? How depressing. Drinking alone is so lame.”

“Isn’t the lame thing your way of speaking?”

“What I mean is, I’ll drink with you. Alcohol is supposed to go down smoothly when you drink with other people. I’ll have the white one. I’ll pay for mine, so don’t worry.”

“I have no intention of drinking with a patient who’s been ordered to abstain from alcohol. Put the can down.”

He scolded me while I was holding the beer I intended to drink.

Meanwhile, both of his hands were already full of beer and snacks.

His handsome face was framed by glasses, and his unusually dark eyes were fixed sharply on me.

It was an extremely disapproving look.

Since things had come this far, I decided to be shameless.

“I’ll drink anyway even if you don’t.”

“You’re trying to drag me into being your accomplice so you can get less nagging during your next appointment.”

“That’s why you’re a doctor. You didn’t become so smart for nothing. You’re brilliant.”

I even gave him a thumbs-up.

But he looked at me with an expression that said I was hopeless.

Eventually, he sighed deeply and shook his head.

“Your liver numbers have stabilized lately, so I’ll have one can with you. I’ll pay. Put it up here.”

“I’ll be the one drinking with you.”

“Then put the can down.”

“Please, Doctor. Have pity on this foolish woman and be my drinking companion. I’m dying from assignments and deadlines.”

Railey seemed to think I was extremely frail.

Because he didn’t like me drinking at all, he couldn’t drink with me either.

Back when I had been in that other world, perhaps because the body I possessed could handle alcohol fairly well, he had always allowed me to drink whenever I wanted.

So he couldn’t actually hate alcohol itself.

Hmm.

Was it because I was weak?

Even so, how many humans could possibly be considered strong by the standards of someone like Railey Kraha, who was practically superhuman?

It was unfair.

Besides, a certain amount of alcohol was necessary to improve my efficiency when working on assignments.

I happily took my beer and sat down with Doctor Jung at the table in front of the convenience store.

He pushed the beef jerky toward me and started peeling peanuts for himself.

Then he spoke disapprovingly.

“Do all freelancers live like there’s no tomorrow, like you do?”

“You’re making a hasty generalization and putting me down.”

I answered immediately while opening the beef jerky.

Doctor Jung frowned and placed several peeled peanuts in front of me.

“How are you managing your meals these days? Even during deadlines, try not to eat too much cup ramen.”

“I’m not here for a medical consultation.”

“You’re acting as my drinking companion right now. Consider it payment.”

“Oh, so you’re finally admitting that I’m drinking with you.”

“Or put the can down.”

“No, thank you.”

I answered quickly.

But after taking a huge gulp of beer and letting out a satisfied “Ahhh,” the conversation naturally stopped.

I was impressed with myself for shutting down the nagging so quickly.

I quickly stuffed several peanuts he had peeled into my mouth.

Under his metal-framed glasses, Doctor Jung lowered his blue-green eyes, which reflected the neon signs around us.

He naturally peeled several more peanuts and placed them in front of me.

Actually, I was quite close with Doctor Jung.

About two years ago, I had been suffering from a slump as a freelancer, stressed out, lacking an appetite, and short on money.

I used those excuses to justify my habit of skipping meals.

Whenever I visited the hospital, he would prepare some side dishes for me and pack them up for me to take home.

Around the same time, when I had been chasing exciting romances and ended up dating a terrible man, Doctor Jung had also helped me a lot.

In short, despite his cold, icy expression, he was actually a very warm-hearted person.

And I had received a lot of help from him.

That was why I followed him around almost like he was my own older brother.

Besides, there probably weren’t many crazy people around who went to the same hospital almost every other day for four whole years, especially in a neighborhood filled with student apartments.

Under the excuse of treating him like an older brother, I was actually just taking advantage of his kindness and eating whatever he gave me without ever intending to repay him.

But the doctor didn’t seem particularly bothered by it.

So I immediately ate the peanuts he had peeled for me.

Anyway, it really was unfair.

These days, thanks to Railey, I was constantly eating something.

That bastard had figured out my picky appetite and tendency to get bored with food long ago.

He had also mastered the perfect butler routine for me.

Whenever I spent time with Railey, I couldn’t help eating continuously.

Although it had already been a little over a week since I had last seen him because I was concentrating on my assignments and studies.

“I’ve actually been living pretty well lately. I sleep when I’m supposed to, sometimes cook a proper meal, eat meat regularly, eat rice, and even make sure to have dessert.”

“Did your parents or siblings come to visit?”

“No. What do you think I am? My apartment is too small. If my family came, I’d have to send them to a hotel or guesthouse.”

“Then did you get a roommate to reduce your rent?”

“No. That’s not it either. What exactly do you think I am?”

“I think you’re an evolutionary failure of humanity who, if you’d been born a thousand years earlier, would never have survived on your own. Don’t just eat peanuts. Eat some beef jerky.”

“You really say the most horrible things!”

He had said it so calmly that I shouted in disbelief.

Then I first took a bite of the beef jerky he had torn open for me.

I chewed it vigorously, raised both hands, and shrugged.

Of course, Doctor Jung could never imagine that a butler had suddenly flown into my life from another dimension—specifically, from one of my own novels—and was preparing small portions of food suited to my tastes every day so I wouldn’t get tired of them.

Actually, no one would ever imagine such a thing.

“Of course, I don’t personally cook everything I eat. I’m not that good at cooking anyway.”

“I know. I realized that when you brought me canned tuna as a thank-you after I prepared seven different side dishes for you.”

“Hey! Is it okay to talk about such a thoughtful gift like that? I was just being modest. I can actually cook! I just don’t do it because it’s annoying.”

“Who is it, then? Your new boyfriend?”

“Oh.”

I had never introduced Railey Kraha to anyone around me as my “boyfriend.”

Anyone who knew about my novels would find Railey Kraha suspicious.

And I hadn’t really had an opportunity to introduce him to people who didn’t know my novels.

In my own mind, I thought of him as something like a lover.

But hearing the word “boyfriend” from someone else’s mouth made me feel strangely uncomfortable.

Is he really in my world?

I thought about it for a brief moment.

“Yes. That’s right.”

I answered rather happily.

But Doctor Jung immediately asked another question without the slightest hesitation.

“He isn’t trash again, is he? I’m not helping you this time.”

“Two years ago, I was going through a really difficult time… It was just an embarrassing part of my past… I won’t do that again…”

“Then did you find a good man this time? Your ability to judge people is about as trustworthy as your internal organs.”

“Why are my internal organs not trustworthy?”

Perhaps he thought my question wasn’t worth answering.

This time, he simply remained silent.

I stared coldly at him and took another sip of beer.

Good… Good…

That bastard had never once lived his life considering other people.

He had been born in a slum in a lawless wasteland, living without laws or rules.

He had committed every kind of evil and crime imaginable.

Although he had eventually been saved in some way, the moment he encountered love for the first time in his life, he immediately decided he wanted the person for himself.

He threatened me.

He acted forcefully.

He kissed me without permission.

He even told me not to return to my original world and to stay by his side until I died.

He was the kind of crazy bastard who got angry when other men showed interest in me and got angry when women showed interest in me.

I had decided to somehow recycle him.

And these days, he did treat me rather attentively.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t trash.

And he certainly wasn’t exactly a good person either.

Fuck.

I couldn’t honestly defend him as a good man.

But I still did my best to put up a bloody shield in defense of my boyfriend.