TSHLWTL Chapter 38

Chapter 38.

“Sigh…”

Wrapped in a blanket, trying to fight the cold, Catherine remembered the conversation she had with Killian just a few days ago.

“You’ll be staying in this basement for a while. The Duke ordered us not to let you wander around.”

“…Until when?”

“Until Rachel admits her guilt.”

But would Rachel ever admit her wrongdoing?

Catherine doubted it would happen anytime soon. It seemed like a long battle was ahead.

Just then, someone entered the cell.

“So? How are you holding up here?”

“…Eleanor?”

It was Eleanor.

“You look pathetic, Catherine.”

Eleanor walked up to the bars and looked over Catherine’s dusty and miserable appearance.

Her cold violet-blue eyes sent shivers through Catherine’s shoulders.

“I asked the Duke to let me decide what to do with you. As I promised, the knights will come tomorrow to release you.”

“…What?”

“Just say you didn’t know anything. That’s all you need to do.”

Catherine looked up in surprise.

“Oh, and did you hear? Thanks to you and Alex, your mother’s crimes have been exposed. She’s officially lost her title as Duchess.”

“What? My mother?!”

“She’ll be punished as a criminal by the Valentine family.”

Shocked, Catherine asked again:

“What about Alex…?”

At her question, Eleanor recalled the night Alex had suddenly come to her room—the day after Catherine was imprisoned.

“Please… help her. I’ll do whatever you want. Just… save Catherine.”

The boy, who never liked Eleanor, had thrown away his pride and kneeled before her.

He was shaking with worry, completely unaware of Catherine’s condition.

“I’ll take her punishment instead. Please. Don’t let anything happen to her.”

He was desperate.

Alex said he would testify—that Catherine wasn’t at fault. He even asked Eleanor for help, reminding her:

“You gave me that ointment that night. You felt sorry for her too, didn’t you?”

Eleanor had pitied Catherine. She remembered that.

Alex was sincere, and though Eleanor hadn’t expected him to betray Rachel, he did.

With his testimony, Rachel could finally be stopped.

“Is it because you pity her?” Eleanor had asked him. “Or because you’re her brother?”

“Both. She’s had it harder than me all along. I couldn’t do anything for her before…”

He answered her with calm, deep blue eyes.

“Didn’t you pity her too? Isn’t that why you gave me that ointment that day?”

Yes, Eleanor had pitied Catherine. Deeply. Eventually, she agreed to help Alex.

Coming back to the present, Eleanor told Catherine:

“Don’t worry. He’s fine. He was a witness, so he’s not involved in this anymore. Honestly, if you two hadn’t stepped up, it would’ve taken much longer to bring that woman—your mother—down. For that, I’m thankful.”

Finally, Catherine let out a sigh of relief.

Catherine stared at Eleanor, who stood silently.

Maybe it was because Rachel was finally caught, but Eleanor looked more peaceful.

No, more like relieved.

And so Catherine, who had long wanted to say something to Eleanor, carefully opened her mouth.

She wasn’t sure if she had the right to say it now, but—

“…I’m sorry.”

She had to say it. Even if it was late.

“I’m truly sorry for everything I’ve done.”

Eleanor raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Now? Why say that now? Are you asking me to save your mother? Sorry, but I can’t. Her crimes are worse than you think.”

Eleanor seemed to believe Catherine was trying to lessen her mother’s punishment.

But Catherine shook her head.

“That’s not it.”

Her platinum hair swayed gently as she spoke. Her blue eyes shimmered like waves.

“I should’ve said it long ago. From the very beginning.”

Eleanor might’ve helped because of her deal with Alex, but for Catherine, it felt like forgiveness—a salvation she didn’t deserve.

“For all the horrible things I did to you…”

“…”

“I never took responsibility. I should have.”

Catherine felt her voice trembling.

What was she feeling? Sadness? Guilt? Shame? Fear?

She didn’t know.

But she knew she couldn’t cry—not here.

“Tears from someone like me are a luxury. Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry?”

She bit her cheek hard and continued clearly:

“This apology isn’t for anyone else. Just you. Eleanor… I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t for Rachel. Not for her family.

Only for Eleanor.

“I know you probably won’t forgive me. I know I don’t deserve it. But I had to tell you.”

Once, Catherine had thought it was a good thing Eleanor was the ‘main character.’

“She’s the heroine. She’ll get over this quickly.”

She believed Eleanor would be fine because that’s what the main characters did.

But that was just an excuse.

An excuse to look away from Eleanor’s pain.

Now she knew—Eleanor was just a girl. A girl who could be hurt, feel pain and suffer deeply.

She had been so wrong to assume otherwise.

“Before it gets any later… I wanted to say sorry.”

She prayed her apology wouldn’t burden Eleanor.

This wasn’t about redemption. It was simply an acknowledgment of the harm she caused.

“I’m sorry… so sorry, Eleanor.”

Then came Eleanor’s voice, cold and trembling.

“Is this guilt? Are you apologizing just to feel better?”

“No! That’s not it. I just… I just had to tell you.”

Catherine desperately wanted Eleanor to understand that her words were real.

“I’m not trying to cover anything up. I want to take responsibility. And I’m not asking for forgiveness either.”

“…”

“I’m sorry it’s so late. I’m sorry this apology is so weak.”

The more Catherine spoke, the more confused Eleanor looked.

“You… Are you Catherine? Apologizing to me? Why now?”

She held her head.

“You doing this… makes me…”

Catherine waited. Whatever Eleanor chose, she would accept it.

After a long silence, Eleanor finally looked at her and said:

“Do you think your apology will mean anything to me? It won’t.”

“…”

“So don’t bother. It’s pointless.”

Eleanor had made her choice.

She rejected the apology. As if it never existed.

And Catherine understood.

Eleanor looked torn—like a lost child, or someone holding back tears after falling.

Catherine truly regretted hurting her this deeply.

‘How pathetic I must look now.’

She had once been an adult trapped in a child’s body.

And Eleanor—a child trapped in her painful past.

Catherine had ignored that pain.

Now, like the protection she once wished adults had given her, she wanted to protect Eleanor.

Even if it was too late.

“This isn’t an apology asking for forgiveness. It’s for what my family and I did for your childhood.”

“What…?”

“I’m not asking you to forget. I can’t. And I won’t ever forget either.”

“You don’t have to forgive me. You can keep hating me. Hate my family too.”

But she wanted to help.

Even if the past couldn’t be changed, she wanted to help Eleanor find a better future.

“So… will you let me have a reason to protect you?”

“…”

“Let me stay by your side and help you, just a little. Let me try to make up for what I did.”

She didn’t need forgiveness.

Just a chance to be there.

“Please… just give me a chance to help you. Just a little.”