#100. Here You Are
âYes. My daughter.â
It had been so long since sheâd heard her father call her thatâŚ
Olivia smiled, almost as if she were collapsing, and held her fatherâs hand tightly.
âNothing happened. Iâm just a little tired, thatâs all.â
Even knowing her words were a lie, her father held her hands in his and did not press her further to explain. Instead, he simply whispered, holding the vast, ocean-like depth of blue eyesâjust like hersâthat could embrace everything about her.
âMy daughter⌠You are Bolsheike.â
Though the daughter before him had grown into a fully capable and trustworthy heir, even bringing along a man she liked, in her fatherâs eyes, the memory of her first cry as a newborn was still vivid.
âRemember this, no matter what you want or do.â
If they were seated as âEmperorâ and ânext Emperor,â these words might sound harsh, but as a father speaking to his daughter, they carried a warmth that was impossible not to accept.
Remember who you are, and make choices and take actions worthy of that identity.
Here, in this moment, seated as father and daughter, the words were filled with nothing but unconditional, boundless love.
âBolsheike will support you.â
Like the truth that the sun rises in the east, her fatherâs words flowed simply and naturally, and Olivia laughed, almost crying.
She imagined that once everything settled, if she told her father the full story, he would scold her until all her tears were gone. And she would probably indulge in being spoiled by him thenâsome day in the future.
âYou really shouldnât say that to His Majesty the Emperor,â Olivia teased lightly, a faint smile on her lips.
âYouâre right. But I will gladly do so anyway,â he replied, the depth of his unwavering sincerity shining through.
âFatherâŚâ she said shyly.
âHmm?â
âCan I⌠hug you?â
âDonât ask such things.â
And just as he had on the day she was born, he pulled her close and held her tightly.
The dawn was still faintly breaking.
Knock, knock.
âCome in.â
With Oliviaâs permission, the door opened, and an enormous pile of documents was pushed inside.
As she looked at the mountain of papers filling her office, Olivia gave a nonchalant nod.
âPut the urgent ones over here first.â
âYes, maâam.â
She continued, pointing in four directions.
âArrange them in this order: important and urgent, urgent but not important, important but not urgent, and neither important nor urgent.â
For a long while, the mountains of documents were sorted just so, in a way only Olivia could understand.
As she picked up her pen to approve a document, her shoulders twitched.
A dark shadow stretched across the white papers.
Cryer had quietly appeared, watching her.
âWhen did you get here?â
âJust now.â
âYou couldâve at least called out when you arrived.â
âNo, I just wanted to see you.â
Olivia pressed her lips tightly together at the sudden answer, and Cryer remained silent as well.
After staring at his dark, crimson eyes sinking into the shadows for a while, Olivia put down her pen and stood up.
âWhatâs with that face?â
âHm.â
At her blunt words, Cryer pulled back and brushed his dry, tired face with one hand.
âHow long has it been⌠You look ten years older.â
âIs it that bad?â
âYeah, it is.â
Olivia cut him off with a smile and guided him to sit on the sofa.
Without resisting, Cryer sank deeply into the sofa, and Olivia looked down at him from above, feeling a strangely new sensation.
Cryer reached out a hand, lightly brushing her eyes before cupping her cheek. A faint sigh escaped his lips.
âWhatâs with sighing at someoneâs face?â
His touch was so careful, as if handling a glass doll, that Olivia pouted a little.
Cryer smiled faintly.
âHere you are.â
âWell, Iâm here, where else would I be? Donât say strange things⌠ah!â
Before she could finish, Cryer pulled her close.
Olivia ended up awkwardly sitting on his lap, squirming slightly, but relaxed when his face rested on her shoulder and he whispered softly:
âJust a moment. Even if just for a while.â
Cryer drew her closer, inhaling deeply. The faint scent of roses mingled with her natural scent, penetrating him deeply, and only then did he feel some measure of relief.
It had only been a few days. Not even far awayâa distance he could have crossed anytime if he wished. Yet the time apart had felt endless, and the distance insurmountable.
Being away from Olivia had devastated him more than he could have imagined. From the moment she turned her back and left, a hollow, bitter wind blew through the depths of his chest, bottomless as the abyss.
It wasnât a storm. The wind didnât rage or roar. It simply flowed slowly, consuming him, emanating from the immeasurable depth of his chest.
It was the feeling of briefly holding something precious, only to lose it forever.
A sense of futility beyond words ran through his veins, and he regretted it.
He had chosen the most efficient method for information. He had chosen to be apart from Olivia. The curses he wanted to fling at himself rose to his tongue, but he said nothing.
ââŚYou have no idea how much effort I put into meeting you. Once I finish making just one more doll, you wonât even need to be in the EmpireâŚâ
He only glanced at Greta, whose presence he treated like a passing stone on the ground.
He had to finish the work quickly. Not just finish, but succeed. Failure was not an option, or he would have to leave Oliviaâs side again.
Finally, he spoke.
âTell me⌠how we first met.â
Lost in memories, he spoke haltingly.
âMy lost memories⌠I donât really know my pastâŚâ
âCryer.â
Before he could continue, Olivia called him gently.
She clung to him as if holding on, her hand slowly brushing his back, whispering:
âYou donât have to tell me now.â
Feeling the tension in his arms, she added:
âYou can tell me anytime.â
To Cryer, her words meant that she would always be by his side. He could hear it however he wanted.
She was here, and she would remain here. Counting the days apart and the days together ahead, these few days of separation were just a fleeting moment.
And Cryer realized deep in his bones that even that fleeting moment was unbearable.
He remained silent, focusing on her hand on his back, her arms holding him, and the sound of her breath.
Some time passed.
Olivia noticed that the tension in his back and neck had eased slightly and laughed softly.
Suddenly, it struck herâthis enormous, impossibly strong, almost monstrous man, acting like a child.
Who else would get to see this side of him? The thought brought her a strange sense of satisfaction and, at the same time, a prickling unease.
Her laugh reached Cryer, and he slowly lifted his head. Her bright red hair brushed his nose, and her voice rang out.
âWhat kind of trouble did you get yourself into?â
Beneath her teasing tone was genuine worry, transmitted through their intertwined bodies.
âWellâŚâ
Cryer said no more, burying his face on her shoulder, this time on her neck, inhaling deeply.
Her warm breath tickled his skin, and instinctively, Olivia twisted and lightly tapped his back.
âLet go now. Itâs been too long to call it âjust a moment.ââ
Her tone was blunt, her push firm, but Cryer chuckled.
He caught a glimpse of her neck, bright as a ripe red apple, almost delicious. Biting lightly, he imagined the sweet juice that might flow, but he relaxed his arms.
She was here. He was here. That was enough. Just being together was enough.
When he tried to get up, Olivia stopped him.
âDonât get up. Just lie down. You look ridiculous right now.â
âIâm fine nowâŚâ
âIâm not fine watching you, so lie down.â
Grunting, Olivia pressed against his steel-like shoulders until he finally lay down on the sofa.
Having successfully pushed him down, she got up. Feeling his persistent gaze, Olivia shook her head and said:
âYouâre burning up. That mark is hotter than I thought. Iâll get cold water and a towel, just wait a moment.â
âNo, Iâd rather stay by your side.â
He held her sleeve as she tried to move away, his fading voice drawing a furrow on Oliviaâs brow.
âWhat? Were you really in pain?â
âYes.â
âThe mark?â
No answer came, but silence implied consent.
Olivia discarded all remedies to reduce his fever and remained at his side, as he wished.
âYouâre the only one who could make a princess sit on the floor like this.â
âThat, I like.â
âMe sitting on the floor? Well, you did grab my leg⌠Anyway, such a messâŚâ
âNo.â
Cryer lifted his hand and brushed her cheek with the back of it.
âItâs the part where itâs only âme.ââ