TPA 25

Chapter 25

Human or Beast (2)

A very brief silence passed.

The predator who had rudely barged in and taken a seat in someone else’s workplace was, unmistakably, her superior.

Glam hesitated for a moment, but there was neither justification to refuse his order to leave nor any expectation that words would work. Knowing that, she withdrew without protest. She was confident that, at least for now, he was unlikely to reveal anything to Misa or suddenly turn violent.

Because Libido was not such a simple man.

Once they were alone, Libido pointed to the chair in front of him and told her to sit.

Misa sat down with a sulky expression, while Libido took the seat opposite her with a satisfied smile.

“Relax.”

“Do you think I can relax if I were you? There’s a predator in front of me who might kill me at any moment.”

“You’re scared, yet you don’t seem to be thinking about running.”

“Even if I ran, you’d chase me. And there’s nowhere to run anymore. You’ve gone so far as to plant yourself in my workplace—where would I even escape to?”

“There is a way. Stop being a hunter.”

“Whether I’m a hunter or not isn’t what matters to you.”

“Right. What matters to me is you.”

“You’re the one who killed Lady Rinello, aren’t you? Why did you do it?”

Despite the unexpected question thrown out of nowhere, Libido answered calmly, without flinching.

“Because I was annoyed.”

“You said you’d stop doing that dog-like crap for a while. Aren’t I your target right now?”

“How do you know it was me?”

“Not knowing would be abnormal. Just like the other bodies, her throat was torn out. She was left naked. The pattern’s the same—of course I’d assume it’s the same culprit.”

“Habits don’t change easily. Tearing out throats has become a habit.”

The casual back-and-forth was brutal.

Misa felt bile rising in her throat. The coldness with which he listed the process of killing a human sent chills down her spine.

“As you said, my current target is you, so I planned to focus only on you for a while.”

“Then?”

“When I struck your cheek, for some reason it left a bad taste in my mouth. So I killed her.”

“……I deserved that slap. I did something worth being hit for. But… why were you angry? Who do you think you are?”

“I don’t know why I was angry. Even now, when I think back on it, it doesn’t feel very pleasant.”

“Crazy bastard.”

“Hardly news.”

Even at Misa’s sarcasm, Libido remained unbothered, perfectly composed.

If anything, he seemed to be enjoying this time with her; now and then, he wore his characteristic gentle smile.

“So someone who didn’t have to die, died because of me? Because of your pointless momentary emotion…? In the end, someone who didn’t have to die died because of me.”

Her chest felt tight, her breath constricted.

Her blood pounded hotly, surging to the point where it felt like she might burst if touched even slightly.

She didn’t have to die. And yet, in the end, Misa had provided the cause. That was horrifying, and unbearably guilt-ridden.

Even though Misa hadn’t killed Lady Rinello, she was forced to bear guilt and pain far greater than that.

All because of a beast that treated human lives as nothing.

“Why are you the one suffering? She was a stranger with no relation to you.”

“How can you say that? She didn’t have to die. She was a human like me!”

“And what does that have to do with you? You’re the same species, but she was still a stranger.”

“I’m not a crazy monster like you. I’m a perfectly normal human who feels kinship with other humans and empathizes with them. It’s normal to feel sorrow even over the death of a mere animal. You’re the abnormal monster here—understand that?”

“There are plenty of humans like me.”

As Misa bristled sharply, something shifted in him. From his previously calm body, a faint pheromone began to leak out.

The pheromone flowed cautiously, gradually wrapping around Misa. Even so, she didn’t notice it at all until it began to heat her body.

“Humans are more selfish than anyone else, because… humans are the ones with the strongest desires.”

“……”

“Humans are extremely self-centered. Putting ‘me’ before others is instinctive, natural. Because that’s how they’re made from the start.”

“……Step back—what are you doing?!”

Libido’s voice sounded thick and vivid, as if whispering right into her ear.

Her heart tickled, then began to pound wildly on its own. She felt a strange, inexplicable arousal.

In that moment, Libido grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him.

The touch of the loathsome beast was oddly sensual—and hot.

“Morality, law, rules, and systems are nothing more than measures to suppress that human nature. Do you think a human placed in a lawless zone would truly try to understand others and coexist, like you?”

Absolutely not.

“Humans are animals who are honest to their instincts above all else.”

“You have to do what you want, and take what you want. And for that, sometimes you kill people, sometimes you destroy yourself.”

The pheromone seeping from his body slowly invaded Misa, beginning to dominate her senses.

Her body, heated against her will, twisted restlessly.

“How about you right now?”

His voice slipped into her ear like a softly brushing feather.

“Don’t you want to?”

“……”

“Can you really say, without a shred of lies, that you’re free from instinct?”

He wasn’t doing anything. He was only holding her hand and whispering gently into her ear.

Yet Misa felt stimulation and pleasure greater than any caress. The predator was relaxed; the prey was anxious.

The predator could devour her at any time. The prey could be devoured at any moment.

The predator made no effort to hunt—he merely released a slight amount of pheromone.

And yet that slight pheromone was fatal to the prey.

Thus, humans were fragile creatures, always capable of collapsing before instinct.

“…I can’t control my body.”

It felt like being drugged—languid, pleasant sensations threatening to overtake her mind.

Her head screamed no, but her body was already preparing to accept him.

The heated, bursting excitement—like begging to be embraced—was far beyond what her will could handle.

And yet the predator who had seduced her didn’t move at all.

As if this were merely a mild warning, he carefully released her hand and returned to his seat.

Not forgetting to withdraw his pheromone.

“But humans are also the only animals capable of restraining their desires.”

It took a long time for her ragged breathing to settle. Libido waited patiently until Misa calmed down.

“Feeling better now?”

“…What kind of sick trick was that?”

“I just wanted to confirm how easily humans crumble before instinct.”

“……”

“The difference between beastmen and humans is only a paper-thin one.”

“Is this how you seduced women?”

“No. Pheromones are nothing more than stimulants. Relationships born of momentary lust are meaningless. Besides, I never needed to use them.”

For a criminal, he had a uselessly refined sense of pride.

Should she consider that fortunate?

At least he wasn’t someone who forcibly took women by using pheromones.

“If that’s the case, your plan has already failed.”

“Why?”

“Because I will never, ever lose my heart to you.”

“Well, you never know with people.”

“If anything, I only despise you more. There’s not even an eyelash’s worth of affection for someone who barges in here and needles my nerves like this.”

“That’s something we’ll see.”

“You really love wasting time. You should’ve just not withdrawn your pheromones and raped me—then you’d immediately know whether I was the woman who could cure your frigidity.”

“You say things like that far too easily.”

For the first time, Libido showed displeasure at her words.

Regardless, Misa poured out everything she wanted to say.

“Why? You said you’re frigid. You said you’re searching for a woman who can cure that. Desire and love are separate, aren’t they?”

“What I want isn’t that kind of fleeting satisfaction.”

“An orgasm is exactly that. You don’t need love to have sex. You can still reach satisfaction.”

Her unhesitatingly provocative remarks twisted his mouth slightly.

It wasn’t the rudeness of her provocation that bothered him—it was the way she spoke of him so casually. For some reason, that made him angry.

“Do you think the satisfaction I’m talking about is just physical?”

“There’s no other way to interpret it.”

“If only it were that simple. I’m sick and tired of this myself.”

If it had been that simple, he wouldn’t have kept this up for so long.

He didn’t even clearly understand what he wanted. He only wanted to rid himself of this gnawing, unbearable emptiness.

He merely guessed that something like love—a special emotion—might fill it.

Ironically, he didn’t even truly know what love was, or what it meant. That ignorance only made it more frustrating.

As time passed, the uncontrollable emptiness and powerlessness threatened to swallow him whole, yet nothing changed—if anything, it only worsened.

“You wouldn’t know. How irritating and frightening it is to live a life with no meaning.”

“Living without meaning doesn’t make sense. You just haven’t realized it yet. No—maybe your life really is meaningless. A life that enjoys slaughter and chases desire can’t be happy, can it?”

At her blunt words, he stared at her, then a neat smile spread across his lips.

“You’re the longest-surviving prey among those I’ve targeted.”

“……”

“Honestly, by now I should’ve lost interest. But I think I’m starting to understand why I keep fixating on you.”

“……”

“It feels like you might give me an answer.”

Every meeting with her was never tiresome. Even simple conversation never bored him.

They were ordinary moments, yet somehow didn’t feel ordinary.

“Find your answers on your own, and leave unrelated people like me out of it. And please respect my work hours, Director.”

“Ah, right. I should. I apologize for today’s rudeness.”

“At least you know it was rude.”

“I’ll try to make sure it never happens again.”

“Why?”

“Because it hurts when you’re hated. Today was an impulsive act because you provoked me too much. It was clearly my mistake.”

In truth, even Libido couldn’t find a proper reason for why he’d released pheromones and provoked her.

Perhaps it had been a kind of reckless bravado.

Or a momentary urge to break that unwavering conviction of hers.

“If you don’t want to be hated, start by not killing people.”

“I’ll try.”

“Honestly, I don’t understand why you do such pointless things when you know better than anyone that as long as you’re under Rena, we’ll never be friends.”

“Why do you think I’ll always stay by her side?”

At that question, Misa stared at him in disbelief.

Was the apostles’ loyalty to Rena not absolute after all?

“That sounds like you’re saying you might betray her.”

“My relationship with her isn’t built on trust. It’s one that could fall apart at any time.”

“Then could you let it fall apart right now?”

“Not yet. I don’t have complete certainty about you.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

Misa stood up, cleared her throat with a cough, and issued her own threat.

“No matter how you harass me, I won’t stop. I’ll see it through to the end—until your entire kind is completely uprooted.”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t come here to interfere.”

“Hard to believe that coming from someone sent to ‘monitor’ me.”

“It’s true that I was ordered to watch you, but I don’t intend to interfere with your work. Whether you dig into my past or my mother’s, I don’t care.”

“You’re underestimating me. Because you know it’s impossible, and a waste of effort?”

“Not at all. You dragged Epicure off his throne on the spot. You even played a part in killing him. I highly value your ability and passion.”

For some reason, Misa felt a stifling sense that the conversation was going in circles.

“Honestly, I’m not very interested in my mother’s ambitions.”

“But you’re still following her orders.”

“That’s because there’s little loss for me. It also makes hunting easier. It’s not loyalty.”

“……”

“I’m actually enjoying the current situation.”

“……”

“I’m convinced you’ll mess things up far beyond my expectations. Everything that’s been built will collapse. That sounds quite enjoyable—stimulating, even.”

Trying to understand a crazy bastard in the first place was the mistake.

He was crazy because he wasn’t normal. Trying to understand the mindset of a madman with normal logic was impossible.

Misa concluded that Libido was simply insane. No matter what words were exchanged, no proper conversation would ever be possible.

“You really are crazy.”

“Perhaps.”

“If you’re done talking, I’ll be leaving now.”

“Alright. Take good care of Aroma.”

“…If you so much as threaten her—”

“I told you, that won’t happen. I promise.”

Misa glared at Libido for a long while, then walked out.

Once outside, her tension finally broke, and she staggered before collapsing onto the floor.

“What a shitty life. Starting off by getting screwed over.”

She hadn’t even really begun yet, and already she felt drained, breathless.

She’d been happy about returning to work after so long… yet the things she’d feared were becoming reality one by one before her eyes.

Little by little, their presence tightened around her neck, sending chills down her spine.

How was she supposed to hunt predators hiding behind human faces?

No—how was she supposed to survive a predator that had come prepared to hunt?

Her vision darkened.

After Misa left, Libido remained seated, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Meeting her and talking with her was deeply enjoyable, yet once their time together ended, an unexpected ordeal always followed.

Unpleasant memories of the past surfaced.

They weren’t painful enough to torment him just by thinking about them—but they weren’t memories he welcomed either.

“Living like a human…”

In truth, Libido didn’t even understand the premise.

What did it mean to live like a human?

Ironically, there wasn’t much difference between when he was human and now that he was a beastman. He’d merely gained a bit more strength than before.

Being alone. The piercing loneliness and emptiness. Living a garbage life—none of that had changed.

Damn it! I’ll take revenge… I’ll take revenge on you for turning me into this…!

Even when he’d been human, he’d had a family.

If anything, it might’ve been worse back then.

Die! You filthy bloodline! You filthy demon! I’ll drain every last drop of his blood flowing through you! You too! Him too! I’ll never forgive those who ruined my life—never!

The one who’d tried to kill him, subjecting him to endless torture, was none other than his only blood relative—his sole family.

“I don’t know what’s different. Before or now, my life hasn’t changed much at all. So what exactly… is a human life?”

Why couldn’t they see that humans and beastmen weren’t so different?

Even realizing that a change in interests was necessary to grow closer to her, he could do nothing—and that frustrated him.

His identity, caught between human and beast, continued to waver.