“Lady Pamela said as much herself. We were good friends. Even without romantic feelings, we thought we could probably manage a marriage well enough. And in truth, I felt at ease around her.”
“……”
“But I had liked you all along.”
“All along?”
Unable to grasp what he meant, Camilla repeated the words. Luke averted his gaze, looking slightly awkward.
“When I was around ten, still a mercenary, I failed a job and was badly injured. You were serving as a priest at the convent then, and you treated me.”
“……”
(Oh dear. I have absolutely no idea which incident that might have been.)
The convent Camilla belonged to had only female clergy, but men were not forbidden from entering. And from long ago, the convent had also served as a place of healing. Injured mercenaries, soldiers, and knights were often brought there.
From the age of twelve, when Camilla entered the convent, until she left at twenty-four, she had treated more patients than she could possibly count. When Luke was around ten, Camilla would have been about eighteen. There was no way she could remember each individual she had tended.
Luke seemed to have expected this.
“It is only natural that you do not remember.”
“At the time, it was something like admiration. But when I learned that you were a princess of Lapladia, I thought, in my childish way, that if I became a knight of the royal castle, I might meet you again.”
“Is that why you became a volunteer soldier?”
“Yes. Fortunately, I had aptitude for swordsmanship and tactics, and even as a volunteer I was able to distinguish myself. Still, at that point I never imagined someone of my poor birth could grow close to a princess. I only hoped that I might serve near you as a knight, and devoted myself to my duties.”
But Luke achieved far greater results than he himself had expected, and the king who took a liking to him went so far as to offer him his daughter’s hand in marriage.
At first, Luke had been elated, thinking he would marry the priest he had admired. Yet the princess who appeared before him was another young woman, close to his own age.
“I suspect my disappointment was obvious. Lady Pamela saw through me at once. She immediately realized that the one I loved was her elder sister.”
“She noticed?”
“Yes. She noticed the moment we met, and teased me about it ever since.”
Luke’s expression turned wry, as though recalling the past.
“Lady Pamela herself had no romantic interest in me. She told me to take matters into my own hands, and that she would make sure you and I could meet regularly.”
“Wait. Then Pamela was willing to dissolve the engagement and marry into the Aschar Empire because…”
“Yes. She knew everything.”
Luke spoke, visibly uncomfortable.
“She said she did not care for her brother, but in this matter she was grateful to him. And she seemed to prefer living freely in a harem to being someone’s only wife. She told me to make it work.”
“……”
At last, Camilla began to understand.
(So that’s why Pamela said I didn’t need to worry about Luke…)
Pamela had only been concerned about Camilla’s relationship with their brother. If that obstacle could be cleared, Luke could marry the woman of his first love, and Pamela herself could enjoy an easy life in the imperial harem. For her, it was the ideal outcome.
“But honestly… it felt as though you were avoiding me. As though you did not quite know what to do with me.”
“That was entirely my own failing.”
Luke bowed deeply.
“As soon as my marriage to you had been decided, I was overwhelmed with preparations. On top of that, the promised countship was reduced to a barony. I panicked, thinking I could not provide you with a life befitting you. I did not wish to trouble your heart, and so I tried to not force myself upon you. But when I thought that we would be apart for two years… I could not endure it. I beg your pardon for overstepping myself.”
“That, um, that really isn’t a problem. Because you invited me, I was able to have Deidre.”
If Luke had not been honest with himself that night, Camilla would never have conceived Deidre, nor learned his true feelings. She would have pushed him away, using their unconsummated marriage as an excuse.
Now she understood. Luke had felt guilty for being young and inexperienced, for being unable to give Camilla a life of ease. He had thrown himself into work to raise his rank as quickly as possible. He had stayed away from the estate to spare her unnecessary worry.
He truly was clumsy, and poor with words.
But still.
“And if you say that, then I was the one who kept upsetting you with careless remarks.”
“I have never once been angry at anything you said!”
Luke replied, flustered. Camilla tilted her head in surprise.
“But on our first night, and at that dinner, I made you weary, didn’t I?”
“As for the first night, that was entirely my own embarrassment and panic. You need not trouble yourself over it at all. And the dinner you mention…?”
