Chapter 38
Mother-in-Law Spills the Beans & The Bathroom
Kids never think things through completely. Little Lu Xuan had been feeling proud of himself just a moment ago, but it never occurred to him that he’d still need Lu Tingchuan’s help to take a bath. Xuan clung to the doorframe, his bright eyes fixed on his father. “I can do it myself! I can!”
A smile played on Lu Tingchuan’s lips. Weren’t you all tough and sassy with me before? Why so timid now?
Xia Shi leaned against the bedroom door, watching the father and son stare each other down with a sense of helpless amusement. “Let Dad bathe you. Mom won’t feel comfortable with you alone in the bathroom. It’s okay, Dad won’t be mean to you. He wouldn’t dare. If he is mean, just tell Mom, and we won’t let him sleep in the bed. We’ll kick him out.”
Lu Tingchuan was caught between laughter and tears. “Xia Xia!”
The little guy had already, without being taught, grasped this new skill: using the threat of sleeping with Mom to get Dad kicked out. Wasn’t Xia Shi’s comment just encouraging him to be even more brazen?
Xuan blinked a few times, then grinned and opened the door wide.
Lu Tingchuan could only sigh in resignation. He ran the bathwater, picked up the little guy, and placed him in the tub. Noticing Xia Shi had left the room, he started washing Xuan while saying, “You get along so well with Mo Jia’ang now. Doesn’t Jia’ang say that you’re both little men and need to be independent? Look, does he always cling to his mom?”
Xuan pressed his lips together. He knew his dad wasn’t going to let him off that easily.
“But, Dad, you love clinging to Mom too.”
Lu Tingchuan was taken aback. He thought for a moment, then countered, “Well, Mom is Dad’s wife. It’s only right for Dad and Mom to stick together. That’s how we get a little sister. Didn’t you say you wanted a little sister?”
Xuan’s eyes lit up, but he was still a little confused. “Really?”
“Of course! Didn’t Grandma say that it was because Dad and Mom were together that we had you? Every child comes about that way.”
Xuan tilted his head. He had asked his grandma out of curiosity, and she had indeed said something like that.
“So, see, you say you want a little sister, but you still always want to sleep with Mom. How is Dad supposed to get you a little sister like that?”
Xuan’s eyes darted, and a smile curved his lips. “So, if I don’t sleep with Mom, and let Dad and Mom sleep together, then I can have a little sister? Right?”
Lu Tingchuan’s eyes crinkled with a full smile. “Right!”
When Xia Shi came back in, Xuan was already bathed, and the father-son duo was sitting on the bed, whispering secrets. She didn’t know what they were discussing, but Xuan looked thrilled. Seeing Xia Shi enter, he smoothly slid off the bed. “Mom, you sleep with Dad. I can sleep by myself.”
“Why the sudden change of heart? Did Dad bully you?”
Xia Shi shot a glance at Lu Tingchuan, who wore an expression of pure innocence.
Xuan shook his head vigorously. “No, no! Mom, I’m a big boy now!”
Xia Shi found this highly amusing. She looked between the two. “What did you two talk about?”
Xuan pressed his lips together and smiled at Lu Tingchuan, who said, “A conversation between men. Right!”
Xuan nodded emphatically. “Right! A conversation between men. Dad, goodnight! Mom, goodnight!”
The little guy scurried out efficiently, even remembering to close the door behind him. But a second later, his little head popped back in. “Dad, don’t forget the little sister you promised me! Oh, or a little brother! Do your best!”
The door closed again. Lu Tingchuan turned his head away, avoiding Xia Shi’s probing, skeptical gaze.
“What on earth did you tell our son?! A little sister or a little brother?”
Lu Tingchuan gave an awkward cough and rubbed his nose, then pulled Xia Shi into his arms. “Our son has made such a strong request. Shouldn’t we fulfill his wish?”
Xia Shi punched his arm and made to stand up, but Lu Tingchuan’s arms tightened around her. With a swift turn, the next moment, Xia Shi was pinned beneath him on the bed. “You’ve been spending all your time with Chu Xun these past few days, ignoring me.”
Xia Shi was exasperated. He’s jealous again?
What to do when your husband is the eternal King of Jealousy, always picking random fights? Help needed, ASAP!
“Chu Xun and I are collaborating on the same song for this performance. Naturally, we need to work together on the adaptation and rehearse with the band. Even though Yin Ru dropped out, the initial draw was broadcast live. The whole country saw the results. Replacing Yin Ru with Jiang Ling is one thing, but if we suddenly changed the song we drew too, it would raise questions. People might even say Chu Xun and I backed down from a challenge or threw our weight around to force the program to change the setlist.”
Lu Tingchuan understood the logic.
“Do you still have to go tomorrow?”
Xia Shi nodded. “We’ve scheduled a rehearsal with the band tomorrow. The live broadcast is the day after. There’s not much time; we have to hurry. This performance is going to be amazing!”
“Oh.”
Xia Shi was delighted about the impending success, but Lu Tingchuan’s tone dropped, his expression unable to hide his dejection.
Xia Shi cupped his face. “Alright, don’t be upset. There’s really nothing going on between me and Chu Xun. After the big scene you made on My Date with a Star, whenever people online talk about the ‘Perfect Golden Couple,’ they don’t mean me and Chu Xun anymore, they mean you and me. Aren’t you satisfied with that?”
“I’m starting prep and training for my new movie in a few days.”
Xia Shi smiled. So he was complaining that she hadn’t been spending time with him!
“Actually, we’re pretty much done with rehearsals today. Barring any issues, tomorrow should only take half a day. After all, the other singers need rehearsal time too; we can’t hog the band and the studio. I’ll come back to keep you company after I’m done!”
Lu Tingchuan lowered his head, nuzzling against Xia Shi’s ear. “Then, shouldn’t you give me some compensation tonight?”
Xia Shi’s eyebrows jumped. Compensation again? Last time…
Sure enough, Lu Tingchuan’s next words were: “You still haven’t made good on the compensation you promised me last time.”
“Hey, we’re an old married couple. Let’s not bother with all those fancy tricks. Be good! I have to get up early tomorrow to go to the TV station. Let’s just call it a night, okay? Let’s sleep!”
Xia Shi coaxed him while subtly trying to extricate herself. However, Lu Tingchuan seemed to have anticipated her move and held her tight in his arms.
“If we’re an old married couple, then why are you still so shy? Who was it that taught Xuan that you have to have principles and always keep your promises? If you don’t agree, I’ll go to the TV station with you tomorrow.”
Xia Shi gritted her teeth. “I’m going to work! What are you going to do there?”
“Visit the set! Be your assistant.”
Believe you’d just go as an assistant? Hah! What assistant? I already have an assistant!
“Lu Tingchuan, stop messing around!”
What if he and Chu Xun had another disagreement and clashed right there? The whole crew would be watching! Especially since this guy, when he got in the mood, loved to pull little stunts. She was going there to work, running around busy. If he stuck to her like glue, what would people think? She absolutely could not face that embarrassment again! Xia Shi was still haunted by the last time Lu Tingchuan had posted on Weibo for help after a marital spat, which resulted in… ahem. Anyway, she was traumatized!
Particularly after the last episode of My Date with a Star aired, hordes of netizens had taken screenshots, scrutinizing every detail, exposing how they had been all sorts of cuddly and restless on stage.
It was only Lu Tingchuan who was being restless! Even though the netizens were cheering, “Let the dog food rain down harder!” Xia Shi was thin-skinned and always felt uncomfortable about it.
“Tingchuan!” Her trailing tone was full of helplessness.
“I don’t want to make a fuss, but…” Lu Tingchuan made a pained face, his eyes glancing downward. Xia Shi suddenly felt a hard object pressing against her abdomen. Her whole body stiffened. In her stunned state, Lu Tingchuan had already seized the opportunity. Somehow, he had managed to loosen the tie of her nightgown and grabbed her hand, guiding it downward.
“You keep moving around, making him restless. Shouldn’t you take responsibility for calming him down?”
Xia Shi was startled, struggling to free her hand, her face flushed red. Even though they were very familiar with each other as a couple, hearing such words still made her burn with embarrassment.
Lu Tingchuan chuckled softly. Xia Shi was perfect in every way, but even after all these years, she was always so shy in this aspect. However, it also allowed him to enjoy the fun of teasing her in various ways.
Xia Shi instinctively tried to flip over and climb out of Lu Tingchuan’s grasp. Unfortunately, her robe was already half-off, and with this movement, it slipped off completely.
A wicked smile graced Lu Tingchuan’s lips. He scooped Xia Shi back with both arms, holding her from behind. Leaning down, his lips passionately and fervently kissed her ear. “Trying to run? Not that easy.”
From her ears to the nape of her neck, down to her back. Lu Tingchuan continuously licked and sucked. His large hands roamed freely over Xia Shi’s delicate skin, one on her chest, the other on her jade-like buttocks, constantly kneading and caressing.
Xia Shi bit her lower lip lightly, unable to suppress soft, delicate moans.
Lu Tingchuan turned her over. The smile in his eyes grew wider. “Still saying no?”
Xia Shi was already under Lu Tingchuan’s spell, teased until her whole body was feverish, like a spring kitten. She wrapped her arms around Lu Tingchuan’s neck. “Don’t stop!”
Lu Tingchuan chuckled lowly, but the movement of his hands slowed. “You do it.”
Xia Shi gritted her teeth, her voice a mix of annoyance and pleading. “Lu Tingchuan!”
Not only did Lu Tingchuan not relent, he became even more shameless. His hands grew more wanton, teasing Xia Shi until her heart burned, her breathing becoming ragged, her body trembling with passion, yet he delayed the main event.
Xia Shi cursed his卑鄙 (bastard) inwardly, but ultimately yielded to her body’s primal urges. She pounced on him, sitting astride him, her lips capturing his in a kiss that was both urgent and domineering. Probably thinking of his earlier shamelessness and feeling indignant, she bit Lu Tingchuan fiercely.
A trace of blood appeared on his lower lip. Lu Tingchuan’s brow furrowed slightly, then relaxed. He wrapped his arms around Xia Shi’s slender waist, responding fervently. His agile tongue slipped into the sweet space of her mouth, greedily plundering, sucking the faint taste of blood between them.
Xia Shi moved her body closer. Lu Tingchuan cooperatively lifted her exposed jade-like bottom, hitting the mark in one stroke.
Xia Shi let out a moaning “Mm,” filled with satisfaction.
The two sat cross-legged on the bed, their legs intertwined, holding each other tightly, as if wishing to meld the other into their own body, resembling an inseparable statue of the “Joyful Buddha.”
Unfortunately, Xia Shi was forever a weakling when it came to stamina. In a position where she was mostly in charge, it didn’t take long for her strength to fail.
Xia Shi was covered in a sheen of sweat, her waist-length hair clinging damply to her skin. She was practically hanging onto Lu Tingchuan. “Lu Tingchuan, I have no strength left!”
Lu Tingchuan laughed. “Then, do you still want it?”
Xia Shi lightly bit her lip, holding Lu Tingchuan even tighter. The passion hadn’t subsided; did he really need to ask?
“Tingchuan! Tingchuan! Tingchuan!”
Each whispered call, lingering between her lips and teeth, carried a seductive quality. It was a coquettish plea, a summons, and also a temptation.
Lu Tingchuan could no longer restrain himself. In a swift motion, he flipped over, pinning Xia Shi beneath him on the bed.
The woman in his arms was his beloved wife, the love of his life for two lifetimes. Once he regained control, Lu Tingchuan transformed into a wild beast, retaining only primitive desire and instinct, burning with intensity and ferocity.
Xia Shi’s breathing grew increasingly heavy, deep and rapid.
The room was filled with a fragrant, sensual atmosphere.
When autumn’s golden wind embraces dew of jade, / All the love scenes on earth are but pale in shade. (1)
Meanwhile, online, the newly aired episode of Where Are We Going, Dad? sparked another wave of commentary. The topic #LuXuanBoyfriendMaterial shot straight to the top of the trending list.
“Xuanxuan is so great! Don’t be fooled by our Xuanxuan’s usual dorky cuteness, soft and sweet demeanor. When it counts, his boyfriend material is simply MAX!”
“Right! When Xuanxuan covered Betty’s eyes and said, ‘Don’t cry, don’t be scared,’ my heart melted.”
“Feel like Baby Xuanxuan is absolutely right. It suddenly reminds me of all the terrible people in real life who hurt others and then blame them for not being able to take a joke. I’m just like, hahaha.”
“+1. There’s a saying: regardless of whether your joke went too far, if the other person feels offended, you need to apologize. It’s not about saying the other person can’t take a joke.”
“Right! But, everyone, let’s not read too much into it. The production team didn’t mean it that way. I think what the male god (Lu Tingchuan) taught Xuanxuan in the voiceover was also correct. This was just a segment; the production team and Mo Kang didn’t intend to hurt the children. Like the male god said, it was just to teach the kids to be brave.”
“Not reading into it, just a sudden thought. Xuanxuan is really great, so understanding.”
【Big Baby’s Grandma】: Our big baby has been wonderful since he was little!
Grandma Xia’s sudden Weibo post stunned netizens. After a moment of confusion, they flocked to her page to leave comments, seeking interaction and inside stories.
Grandma Xia, on the other side of the ocean, happily held her computer, typing with somewhat clumsy fingers: Since you have asked so sincerely, I will generously tell you. That’s right, I am the grandma of the big treasure, Xuanxuan! Mother of Xia Shi! Mother-in-law of Lu Tingchuan!
Netizens burst out laughing. This style…
“Grandma’s style is so unique!”
“Watching that part in the show where the mother-in-law called, I already thought she was a super cute person. Sure enough.”
“Mother-in-law is so funny!”
The comments shifted from initially mocking Grandma Xia for “showing off” to all sorts of joyful teasing and adoration. Grandma Xia’s heart blossomed with joy, and she couldn’t help but interact.
【Big Baby’s Grandma】: Right? I thought this opening line was pretty good; I spent a long time thinking of it. Lu Tingchuan promised me he’d get the verified ‘V’ for me tomorrow! [比心 – Heart gesture]
“Grandma is so trendy, she even knows the heart gesture!”
“Person above, you’re OUT. Grandma is someone who reads fanfiction!”
“Speaking of fanfiction, it reminds me of Grandma’s comments under those stories. Oh wow, just looking at the details revealed between the lines about Xia Shi and Lu Tingchuan’s story makes my heart melt!”
“Grandma, we want inside stories, we want photos! The male god and goddess haven’t updated their Weibo in ages. Grandma, please post a few photos of Baby Xuanxuan to quench our thirst!”
Puffed up by the netizens’ flattery and in high spirits, an excited Grandma Xia, eager to please, actually posted a nine-square grid of pictures.
Instantly, comments and reposts skyrocketed, reigniting the netizens’ enthusiasm!
“Holy crap, what am I seeing? In the third photo, those two faint figures a few meters behind Baby Xuanxuan, slightly to the right, are they the male god and goddess? Are they kissing?”
“[Crying while laughing] Yes! So, Male God and Goddess, did you know you accidentally photobombed?”
“Fifth photo, Xuanxuan is running ahead, the male god is looking at the wheat field behind him with a silly smile. What’s going on!”
“Person above, look more carefully. In the upper right corner of the photo, there’s a bit of a red dress in the wheat field. That’s definitely the goddess! The male god isn’t smiling silly at the wheat field; he’s smiling silly at the goddess in the wheat field, okay?”
“Grandma, are you really here to show off the big treasure Xuanxuan, or are you here to help the male god and goddess show off their love and abuse us single dogs?”
“Grandma, may I ask, Xuanxuan said on the show that the male god hates people who give the goddess flowers. Were there many people who gave the goddess flowers? [Crying while laughing]”
【Big Baby’s Grandma】: Xia Shi is very beautiful. After we came to Philadelphia, many boys came to our door pursuing her with flowers. A white lawyer living next door asked Xia Shi out twice. He often went to play golf with Old Xia (Xia Shi’s father). Old Xia, because he needed to accompany clients for work years ago, practiced hard and developed good skills. Now, having found this friend across generations, he was overjoyed and blurted out that he wanted to marry his daughter to him. This pressured Lu Tingchuan, originally a complete novice at golf, to rapidly become skilled within two months.
Fans: Mind blown! We never knew the male god learned golf this way!
【Big Baby’s Grandma】: If I didn’t tell you, you wouldn’t know. Even Xia Shi doesn’t know. Old Xia wouldn’t let Lu Tingchuan tell her, afraid Xia Shi would say we bullied Lu Tingchuan. Back when Lu Tingchuan confronted us and said he wanted to marry Xia Shi, Old Xia didn’t agree. Lu Tingchuan used this method to win Old Xia over.
Fans: The importance of currying favor with your future in-laws!
“Critical hit! Why does it feel like ever since the news of the male god and goddess’s marriage was exposed, we get critical hits every few days? My poor little heart~”
“Grandma, promise me, give us more, don’t stop! We can never have too much dog food from the male god and goddess!”
【Big Baby’s Grandma】: When Xia Shi was giving birth to Xuanxuan, because it was her first child, the labor pains were long, and she had no experience. Xia Shi was in so much pain her face was pale, covered in sweat, crying constantly. Instead of comforting her, Lu Tingchuan kept interfering and yelling, ‘We’re not having it!’ This made Xia Shi so angry she said, ‘Lu Tingchuan, get out!’ Lu Tingchuan was stunned for a moment, then lay on the floor and actually started rolling away. Xia Shi instantly laughed. So, when people say Lu Tingchuan is shameless, his skill in having no shame is absolutely refined to the highest level.
“Hahaha, is this for real? He actually rolled… actually… rolled, rolled…”
“The male god has a way of handling the goddess. In that tense atmosphere, the goddess was already nervous. Doing this helped the goddess relax. Male god is awesome!”
“Absolutely! In front of the one you love, you have to be shameless! Male god, keep it up, we support you unconditionally!”
“Male god and goddess are so happy and sweet~”
【Big Baby’s Grandma】: Didn’t you want baby photos? Here’s a photo of the big treasure Xuanxuan right after he was born. Wasn’t he adorable from the start? Don’t ask me where Lu Tingchuan is. He had fainted. [Picture]
The photo was in the hospital room. The whole family surrounded the swaddled big treasure Xuanxuan, smiling happily at the camera. Only Lu Tingchuan was missing.
“Pfft, fainted… fainted… Male god, can’t you be a bit more reliable?!”
“The male god’s image truly knows no bottom, only lower levels of collapse!”
…
The comments came in wave after wave. Thanks to the high popularity of Xia Shi’s family of three, Grandma Xia became an internet celebrity overnight, her follower count even surpassing some rising young actors and idols.
With the airing of Where Are We Going, Dad?, after netizens crowned Lu Tingchuan the “National Father-in-Law,” they now bestowed upon Grandma Xia the title of “National Grandma.”
For a time, this family was truly unrivaled in the spotlight.
