Chapter 33
Little White Lamb
âShall we get some fresh air?â   Leaning back against the window seat, she gazed at the sky while cradling the small creature in her arms. The air, washed clean by the rain, was filled with a serene and pure freshness.  A tickling breeze swept through Renee’s hair like the touch of someone’s hand. It felt like an eternity, long and cozy.  It was like a fantasy moment under the stars, filled with nothing but clear air and pleasant scents.  Suddenly, Renee, who had been stroking the cat’s back for a while, hummed a song in a small voice, as if she was humming a lullaby.
âOh, little white lamb, the lamb looking at the sea, What have you lost that you stand there? Oh, little white lamb, on the cliff yesterday and today, What are you seeking that keeps you there? Oh, little white lamb, there’s nothing you seek in that place. Come here, my dear. The place you gaze upon is cold and lonely .Letâs hold each other close and warm ourselves by the fire.    Lean on me and let us share our warmth. Ohâ my little white lamb.â
Alexander, without realizing it, closed his eyes and was drawn into her voice.  It was a song he already knew well. A song that they would sing while looking at the sky every time they went out on secret nighttime outings when they visited Whitehall.   âMy mother used to sing it often. Strangely, I donât remember her face very well, but I remember this song. She said it was one sheâd heard when she was young too.â   They would share a large blanket and watch the sky and the sea meet each other in a seaside cave where the sound of the waves could be heard best.  Renee kept shifting slightly to the side, as if the close contact was uncomfortable, and Alexander didnât like that.  Perhaps it bothered him even more because he had earlier seen her wandering around on the back of some boyâwhether a cousin or just some runt, he didnât know.  So he grabbed her wrist to keep her from falling.  Donât drift away from my side, he seemed to say, holding her wrist firmly and staring at her.  The startled orange-tinted eyes reflected the moonlight. The sound of the waves was intimate, their shared warmth intense, and the two of them were young and clumsy.  That was the first time he started to hear his heartbeat, which he had never been conscious of in his life.   âWhose body leaned in first?â âWhose lips held their breath first?â   The lips that were panting, biting down, the tongue that had impatiently pushed inside, unable to bear the thirst, the tip of the tongue that had run away, unsure of what to do.  When that clumsy kiss finally ended, her cheeksâredder than peaches and sweeter-looking than any fruitâwere burned into his memory.   âWeâre old enough to kiss now.â   “…Us?”   “Yes. Us.”   “So that’s why we kissed? Wait, hold on. Did we just kiss? We did kiss, didnât we?”   Renee, her eyes wide open, suddenly grabbed his face and kissed him again.   “…Itâs real. We really kissed.”   “Since it was with me, you canât do it with anyone else now.”   “Why not?”   “What?”   “Iâm kidding. Look at your eyesâtheyâre scary!”  Her laughter echoed clearly, like riding on a wave. The hand that they had held all night.  …With a single line of a song, memories he thought he had forgotten came flooding back like a tide. Alexander looked at Renee’s face, staring into the distance, for a long time.  The day after their first kiss, Alexander returned to Kaliba.  He swore that he had never been so happy in his life. He had also never wanted time to pass so quickly in his life.  He was a naive and pure Alexander Chambler, who would smile foolishly imagining her as his girl, then his lady, and then his wife.  And so, with a heart full of excitement to invite Renee to his mansion the following year, he arrived back home to…   “…”  Alexander closed his eyes in her arms. The warm and soft embrace was as comfortable as being in heaven.   “Oh, little white lamb, thereâs nothing you seek in that place. Come here, my dear. The place you gaze upon is cold and lonely.”   Every time the wind blew, Reneeâs hair fluttered, and a floral fragrance filled the air.   “Letâs hold each other close and warm ourselves by the fire. Lean on me and let us share our warmth.”   As he drifted to sleep in her warm, fragrant, and comforting embrace, a faint shiver ran down his spine.   “Ohâmy little white lamb.”   A sensation he had forgotten he knew, because it had been so long, resurfaced. A feeling that it would be okay to stay like this forever.  That calm, fullness.  …A happiness so small and insignificant, yet so profound.  ***   Meowâ   Startled from his thoughts by the sound of a catâs cry, Alexander looked up at the bright blue eyes staring intently down at him from his bedside.  The creature purred softly in its throat, then suddenly leaned down to lick Alexanderâs forehead with its small tongue.  “What theâwhat are you?”   Meow  Letting out a small cry, the kitten climbed over to Reneeâs pillow and curled up there. It seemed content, and its face even appeared to hold a faint smile.  Propping a pillow beneath his chest and lying on his stomach, Alexander watched the kitten.  The kitten glanced at him and then, as if losing interest, stretched out its body and yawned.  Alexander had never been particularly compatible with animals. Horses, dogs, catsâeven pigs, for that matter. Animals didnât like him much, and he didnât like them either. Yet, for some reason, this one kept hovering around him, completely fearless.  “You seem sturdier than you look. You seem fine, huh?”  Looking at it now, it was hard to believe it was the same one that was trembling, soaking wet in a small birdcage. It even looked impressive as it stretched out and yawned, as if it was completely fine now.  As Alexander was playing with the cat, letting it chase his finger, his gaze landed on the pillow beneath the cat.   Meowâ   The small cat, who had been rolling around as if the fragrant and fluffy pillow was its own, suddenly floated into the air.  Its limp little body, now suspended, was promptly moved onto the pillow Alexander had been using.  He locked eyes with the cat and spoke in a stern voice.  “Play here. This oneâs bigger.”   Meowâ   The kitten let out a half-hearted cry before curling up again as if it were already exhausted, settling into a napping position  Alexander, who had been rubbing the catâs head with his fingers, chuckled and got off the bed.  He had no idea how long heâd been asleep, but every part of his body ached as he moved. Even his head throbbed a little⌠ He drank more than two glasses of lukewarm water in a row, and then went straight into the bathroom. His unwashed body felt sticky and uncomfortable.  As the cold water was poured over him, the sluggish drowsiness that had been clinging to him immediately vanished.  Massaging the tension out of his neck and shoulders, Alexander emerged from the bathroom and immediately pressed the bell to summon Gabriel.  By the time he had finished changing into fresh clothes, Gabriel entered the room.  “Youâre awake, Master!”  The elderly butler approached him with delight, carrying a tray as usual. On it were a glass of cold water and a slightly chilled towel.  “How long was I asleep?”  “Approximately three and a half days. To be precise, you briefly opened your eyes last night but immediately fell back asleep. Do you recall that?”  “Not at all. Mustâve been in my sleep.”  “That seemed to be the case. Ah! The lady has gone to escort the great mistress back to the annex. The great mistress has been quite worried about you and came to check on you once a day.”  Alexander’s expression turned incredulous at Gabrielâs words. All this fuss just because heâd collapsed and ended up sleeping for a few days.  He let out a sigh and went towards the cupboard, took out a bottle of whiskey and said, “Go and call Dr. Rufus. And bring all the newspapers and letters that have piled up while I was out.”  “Understood.”  Even after replying, Gabriel didn’t move, so Alexander, who was filling a glass with whiskey, glanced at him as if to ask why he wasn’t leaving.  “âŚWell, isnât drinking right after waking up not a good idea?”  “Oh, please. Donât tell me even Gabriel is about to nag me now?”  “This isnât nagging; itâs concern, my lord.”  “I already know better than anyone how much you care for me, Gabriel. So spare me the polite scolding. Iâm drinking to ease my headache.”  “Dr. Rufus has explicitly advised against mixing alcohol and medication…”  “Gabriel.”  Alexander, who was lifting the glass of clear brown whiskey, shook his head at Gabriel. It was a firm face that said he didn’t want to hear anything more.  Reluctantly, Gabriel had no choice but to close his mouth and sigh. What choice did he have? If the lord insisted on drinking, there was no stopping him.  Fortunately for Gabriel, however, Alexander didnât end up mixing the whiskey and medicine.  As he brought the whiskey glass to his lips, the door suddenly opened, and someone entered, their eyes wide with shock as they locked onto him.
