Chapter 17. I Only Live for Today
‘Wh-what is she asking me to do?’
Daniel was so confused, his eyes were even bigger than Frida’s. As he tried to move his shoulders back, Frida just came closer and pointed to her own forehead.
“Come on, Duke. Touch here. See? I don’t have a fever anymore.”
When Daniel didn’t move, Frida grabbed his left hand and put it on her forehead.
“See? There’s no fever, right?”
After checking a few times, Frida stepped away from Daniel and smiled brightly. Since she woke up, her body felt lighter, so her fever must be gone. It looked like the medicine Anton gave her was finally working. She was a bit annoyed that it took so many days, since she had so much work to do. Quickly, Frida started making a plan in her head.
She needed 30,000 ducats for the flower bulbs from the Turk merchant. She could pay half of the rest after checking the bulbs’ condition, and the last half after they bloomed next spring. She wanted to start growing them on the empty land inside the castle. First, she needed to hire workers to finish clearing the eastern hills before fall. She needed three or four times more people than now to finish before the frost. Utrecht had mild winters, but it was still hard to cut trees when it was cold, and dangerous if animals were sleeping nearby.
Frida knew that burning the land would be faster and cheaper, but then the ground would be useless after just one year. So even though it cost more money and time, she wanted to clear the land and build real farmland. Spring was already half over. If she wanted to make fields and a village outside the castle before winter, she had to hurry.
Frida kept glancing at the table with the key. She was anxious because Daniel wouldn’t give her the key, even though he now knew her fever was gone. Frida reminded him of what he had said.
“Duke, you said if my fever went away, I could come get the key. Do you remember?”
Daniel stared at Frida’s restless purple eyes and slowly nodded.
“…Yes.”
“Then could you give me the key now? I’m really in a hurry, Duke.”
Frida’s white hands twisted together on her lap. Her wrists were thin, and her arms were probably even thinner inside her sleeves. Even her skin showing under her half-torn dress looked soft and delicate.
‘Ha, what a crazy thought.’
Daniel almost laughed at himself. He tried to build a wall between them, but just one touch made him think silly things. Annoyed with himself, Daniel picked up the key and gave it to Frida.
“I heard the Turk merchants are in the castle. Are you making a deal with them?”
Frida grabbed the key and nodded with a big smile.
“Yes. Before they leave, I’ll pay them for the flower bulbs I want to plant this fall.”
“Bulbs?”
“Yes! They say there are flowers in Turk that only royal gardens can have. If you plant the bulbs in fall, they bloom in spring. The flowers look like…”
Frida raised her arm and pretended to wrap cloth around her head.
“They look like the turbans that Turk merchants wear on their heads. You’ve seen those, right?”
Clutching the key tightly, Frida’s eyes sparkled.
“These flowers come in many shapes and colors, and they sell for a huge price in Turk. The rarer the color, the higher the price.”
Her eyes were full of energy, her voice lively. She was truly happy about this.
“Soon this flower will be popular in Svergen too. If I can grow it here in the duchy, we’ll be rich! Just wait. Utrecht will become the wealthiest and best place in the empire.”
Daniel still couldn’t understand Frida. Why did this make her so happy? Why did it matter so much to her if the duchy became the richest land? After all, she might not even live to see it happen. Daniel wanted to ask, but instead, he asked something else.
“Do you like it here?”
“Of course! I really love the duchy.”
She answered right away, without any hesitation.
Yes, she must love it. That’s why she works so hard. She spends money to bring people, helps them settle, and works to help them grow roots. If she didn’t love it, why would she do all this, especially with such a weak body?
Daniel knew he’d never truly understand this woman, just like he never understood his own mother’s stubborn heart. He stood up, wanting to end the conversation. But then, a small and trembling voice stopped him.
“Duke, I… I really like you too.”
*
“Mother, this is too much…”
Emperor Leopold II of Svergen thought carefully before he spoke again.
‘So heartless.’
No, ‘cold-blooded’ was better. Maybe even ‘cruel’ was the right word.
“You’re so cold, Mother.”
The Empress Dowager seemed pleased to hear this.
“That’s good. If you feel that way, Daniel probably understands my intentions too.”
Who could not understand her? Leopold couldn’t roll his eyes at his mother, but he looked irritated.
“My brother almost died fighting the Duke of Nottingen for me. He only just woke up after three years. You can’t even hold a party for him, but you put a watcher on him right away?”
His voice rose, but the Empress Dowager didn’t react.
“Did you forget how people gossiped about the wedding between my brother and the Harkbourne girl? Your perfect reputation was ruined in a day. Are you really going to make the same mistake again?”
“That’s good. Now I don’t have to pretend to be a kind mother anymore.”
‘You were never kind to begin with,’ Leopold thought, but didn’t say it aloud. He swallowed his bitter tea. Once, he almost believed his mother was truly kind. But this was the same mother who told him to overthrow his uncle and take the throne. The imperial family was full of relatives cutting each other down. To survive, he had to follow her orders.
Women, and especially mothers, were truly scary. The Emperor shivered. His mother, Marguerite, calmly poured him more red hibiscus tea.
“I don’t know why you dislike Baron Boild. Utrecht is a poor land with no strong lord or lady. Baron Boild will make a fine steward for the duchy.”
“And he’ll also become your loyal spy, right?”
She nodded calmly.
“It’s good for both sides.”
If Boild died, she’d just send someone else—and keep sending more until the job was done. Maybe it was better if Daniel just didn’t make trouble.
Leopold sighed deeply and went to the window, looking out at the castle’s spring garden. Among the flowers, he saw a purple one that looked like a rose, but wasn’t. It reminded him of his old lover, Baroness Patricia, who loved that flower. If his mother hadn’t hated her, maybe Patricia would still be here.
‘What was that flower’s name?’
He squinted, trying to remember. Then, with the spring breeze, the name suddenly came to him.
“Lisianthus.”
It was a pretty name, like his lover. He thought about visiting Patricia’s old estate and maybe seeing his brother Daniel too.
Leopold hid his annoyance and turned back to his mother.
“I’ll write to my brother and say I’m sending the best steward for his sick wife. He won’t dare kill him then, right?”
He picked up his pen, then looked at his mother.
“By the way, Mother, wasn’t the Harkbourne girl only seventeen when she married my brother?”
“I think so. Why do you ask?”
So she should be twenty now… But didn’t all the Harkbourne daughters die before twenty? Leopold rested his cheek on his hand.
“Is that girl really still alive?”
*
Frida’s bravery wasn’t just for searching her husband’s room. After her quick confession, her cheeks turned bright red.
Daniel thought, ‘If she stays like that, I could say her fever is back and take the key away. Maybe then she’d take back that sudden confession.’
Daniel looked down at his much smaller wife. His face looked calm, but inside he was confused by her boldness.
“I really wanted to say it. Maybe it’s a little soon, but it’s true—I really like you, Duke.”
She’d said it twice now. Daniel couldn’t ignore it anymore. He knew it was silly, but he asked:
“Why? Do you really know enough about me to have those feelings?”
“Maybe if I knew everything about you, I wouldn’t like you anymore.”
That was smart, Daniel thought. She already knew he wasn’t easy to love. But then she gave him a bright, hopeful smile.
“Tomorrow is always uncertain for me, so I only live for today.”
“Today’s Frida is confessing to today’s Duke.”
“I like you.”
