SAPM 04

Chapter 4

This Can’t Go On Like This

“Sob, sob! Rehan, Rehan…”

“Yes, my lady.”

Rehan gently patted Edellis’s back as she cried, occasionally calling his name, and patiently comforted her.

He continued until her crying finally subsided.

Only after quite some time did Edellis raise her head.

“…I’m sorry. And thank you.”

“You don’t have to be. Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah.”

Although her voice still trembled with tears, she knew she could not just keep crying.

After taking several deep breaths, she finally managed to calm herself down.

Then, as she drank the tea Rehan had given her, she thought,

‘I can’t go on like this.’

Until now, Edellis had secretly taken care of Rehan.

She had been worried that openly favoring him might cause resistance among the other servants.

But if not only she, but also her father and all the people of her household were going to die, things were different.

For their sake, she had to take even better care of Rehan than before.

Once she thought about it, she realized that what she had done so far was nowhere near enough.

Edellis wondered what she should do.

‘First of all, the Emperor who will kill me… must be the current Crown Prince, right? The Emperor’s voice I heard through the book didn’t sound that old. The current Emperor is older than Father.’

No matter how she ended up getting married, she should first avoid making contact with the Crown Prince as much as possible.

Then she turned her head and met Rehan’s eyes as he sat beside her.

‘Then how does Rehan come to know the Crown Prince? Does Rehan enter the palace with me when I become Empress later? If not, how would a commoner normally come to know the Crown Prince?’

As she thought, Edellis came up with two options and lightly tapped her knee once.

‘If I treat him really well, he might at least plead with the Emperor to spare my life for the sake of our past relationship.’

But would the Emperor actually listen to the words of a commoner? She was not confident about that.

Still, he was an important character, so he should have some influence.

Then she tapped her knee twice.

Even if Rehan tried to stop the Emperor, she could not be sure that she would be able to escape her fate of death.

So rather than becoming Empress and having her entire family massacred, perhaps it would be better to run away and live a long, quiet life as a commoner.

‘But can a woman live alone outside? A woman who looks this much like a noble lady obviously won’t have an easy time surviving.’

Edellis lightly lifted the ends of her curly blonde hair and let out a small sigh.

Her golden hair was shiny and clearly well cared for.

‘Is there another option…? Whatever happens, I should just treat Rehan well for now. Much better than before.’

She did not have time for this. Even while she was thinking, the debutante ball was getting closer and closer.

Usually, marriage proposals began coming after a debutante ball, so the day Edellis would marry was not very far away either, since she would be making her debut this summer.

“Rehan.”

“Yes.”

“You know, this isn’t about me. It’s about a friend of mine.”

Rehan realized that the ‘friend’ Edellis was talking about after sighing for such a long time was actually herself.

He had never seen Edellis interact with anyone from outside while she was staying at the count’s estate.

“Can a woman live alone…”

“No.”

Rehan interrupted Edellis even though he knew it was impolite.

“…Is it really impossible?”

“Yes. Even I, who was living in the fighting arena until recently, know that.”

“Ugh, that can’t be.”

‘Am I really going to have no choice but to enter the imperial family? But what if Rehan doesn’t stop them then?’

As Edellis looked depressed, Rehan spoke firmly.

“If your friend is a noble, isn’t she? Crimes against nobles are punished severely, but people who have nothing to lose will still commit crimes without caring about that. Nobles do get robbed, after all.”

“That’s true…”

“And have you thought about what you would live on if you were alone?”

“Farming?”

Edellis had asked her father to arrange lessons on agriculture.

She had been preparing in case she ever had to run away from home and live on her own if she became Empress. She thought that if she knew something about crops, perhaps she could at least farm and survive.

Fortunately, when the Count saw her taking an interest in agriculture, he proudly hired a teacher for her right away, even while saying that she did not need to help with the territory yet.

Encouraged by this, Edellis asked her father for lessons in herbalism, accounting, navigation, medicine, and the languages of the neighboring countries, Cernier and Canvier.

Unfortunately, the Count strongly opposed navigation, so she could not learn it. But she had diligently studied everything else.

Rehan also knew this, so he was not particularly surprised when she said she would farm.

“How will you live until the crops are ready?”

“Couldn’t I take some jewelry with me when I leave home? Even if I can’t sell it for as much as it was worth when I bought it, I think it would be enough to live on until the harvest.”

In fact, Edellis had been collecting jewelry for some time. She chose pieces that were expensive, light, and easy to turn into cash.

But what worried her most was her safety.

“But my friend is worried that even if she takes jewelry with her, robbers might take it from her.”

“…Then take a guard with you.”

“Knights have all sworn loyalty to the family. How could I take one with me? That won’t work.”

She had thought about taking a guard with her.

But technically, the knights belonged to the Count’s family.

Why would they follow a former noble lady who was running away from the Count’s estate?

“Could you take someone other than a knight as your guard?”

She did not think it would be easy to find a trustworthy mercenary.

What if that person simply took all her jewelry and gold coins and ran away?

“…Someone like me.”

Edellis, who had been thinking deeply, suddenly turned her head toward Rehan.

“You?”

“Yes. I don’t belong to the family, and I have enough strength to protect you.”

A sound of realization escaped Edellis’s mouth.

‘Why didn’t I think of this?’

Rehan had been a gladiator, and he had been training at the Count’s estate, so of course he had the strength to protect her.

He was not a knight, either. She had brought him here herself.

And right now, he was also her personal guard.

‘If I run away and happen to meet the Emperor, wouldn’t Rehan at least be able to stop him once?’

But one problem remained.

“Just, just in case…”

“Yes.”

“If I try to leave home like my friend, and I ask you to come with me, will you?”

Rehan was already living comfortably here.

If he left this place with her, he would obviously have a difficult life. Was there really any reason for him to do that?

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Didn’t I swear to protect you from the beginning, my lady?”

“That’s true, but…”

“So please, tell me before you leave.”

“…”

Why would he follow me when he has nothing to gain from it?

“Please.”

Edellis could not understand why he was acting like this.

But seeing Rehan speak so firmly as if he wanted her to promise him, Edellis made a promise.

“You better not change your mind later. If I ever leave this place, you’re coming with me. Got it?”

“I understand.”

Edellis smiled in satisfaction.

Now, if a marriage proposal ever came, she could leave the Count’s estate with Rehan.

“Thank you, Rehan.”

“You don’t have to thank me. Whenever and wherever you are in danger, I will save you. Even if you are no longer the Count’s daughter.”

Rehan’s words made Edellis’s heart beat faster.

“From anyone.”

“…You don’t even know who the opponent will be.”

“If things become too difficult, may I simply take you and run away?”

Rehan said it with a playful smile. Even though he said that, he did not seem to have any real intention of running away.

“That’s exactly what I want.”

I’ll be ready to run away at any time.

If she ever closed her eyes after being stabbed by the Emperor’s sword, she felt that this memory would come to her even at that final moment.

“…I don’t want to go to the debutante ball.”

The peaceful days passed one by one.

Before she knew it, the chilly early spring weather had turned into summer, the season when the debutante ball was held.

And in the Empire, it was customary for every noble who turned eighteen to make their debut at an imperial ball.

In other words, Edellis had to make her debut this summer.

‘I’m supposed to stay away from the imperial family, and they want me to attend an imperial ball? That’s impossible.’

But a problem arose.

Her father firmly insisted that, no matter what else she did not do, she absolutely had to attend her debutante ball.

—If my daughter, who never even leaves the house, doesn’t attend her debutante ball either, I don’t think I could close my eyes peacefully when my time comes.

When her father mentioned his own death, Edellis remembered what she had seen in the past.

The scene where her father was charged with treason after her death.

He had started a rebellion to avenge his daughter’s injustice, but it had ultimately failed.

She remembered her father screaming while covered in blood, and she could no longer insist that she would not go.

In the end, Edellis reluctantly got ready for the debutante ball and came out to the entrance to board the carriage to the Imperial Palace.

There, she found Rehan waiting for her, dressed much more splendidly than usual.

Rustle, rustle—.

At the sound of Edellis’s dress as she walked, Rehan turned his head and noticed her approaching.

“…”

When their eyes met, they both stared for a moment at each other’s unfamiliar appearance.

Their hearts were beating so hard that they worried the other person might hear them.

Rehan stood at the bottom of the stairs where Edellis was coming down and waited for her.

Finally, when she reached him, he bowed and held out his arm.

Rehan took a deep breath and asked in a trembling voice,

“May I escort you, my lady?”

Edellis smiled brightly and placed her hand on his arm, accepting his offer.

“Of course.”

She had hated the thought of going to the debutante ball so much, but knowing that Rehan would escort her gave her courage.

‘Even if something happens, Rehan will be able to protect me!’

But as soon as the Imperial Palace began to appear in the distance, Edellis lost her courage and unconsciously sighed again.

Rehan could not help but notice her constant sighing.

“Do you want to go back?”

He spoke as if he would immediately turn the carriage around if Edellis only said she wanted to return.

She knew that he would actually do it if she asked, so she could only sigh.

“…I do want to go back, but… sigh… I don’t think I can.”

Edellis knew she could not turn back, so she sat there feeling as if she were being dragged to a slaughterhouse.

While she was sighing, the carriage stopped. They had arrived in front of the banquet hall.

The carriage door opened, and Count Brill came to escort her.

“Rehan. I’ll dance just one song and come right back out. Okay?”

She said this because Rehan was neither a noble nor old enough to enter the banquet hall with her.

“I understand. Have a good time.”

When Rehan nodded, Count Brill took Edellis’s hand and walked away with her.

Even as her father led her away, she kept looking back.

She continued doing so until Count Brill openly complained that she was hurting his feelings.

When Edellis and Count Brill entered the hall, the Count led her around to greet various people.

Edellis planned to blend into the background and disappear as soon as she danced the first dance announcing her debut.

She could not help feeling a little resentful toward her father for continuing to take her around.

“Edellis, if anything happens to me, go to these people.”

The Count whispered quietly to her.

Only then did she understand why her father had insisted that she attend her debutante ball.

It was preparation for the possibility that she might truly remain alone someday if she never married.

Once she understood this, the resentment she had felt toward her father melted away like ice.

“His Imperial Majesty, Ventus de Cronad, has arrived!”

But then, the Emperor entered.

Unfortunately, Edellis was standing near the center of the hall.

The Emperor began walking forward. Whenever he passed through the crowd, people parted like the sea splitting apart.

Edellis could barely breathe as the Emperor passed in front of her.

Eventually, the Emperor passed her and climbed onto the platform where everyone could look up at him.

“Raise your heads.”

The Emperor briefly offered congratulations to those who had reached adulthood at eighteen.

As he looked around and greeted the people, his eyes met Edellis’s.

She hurriedly lowered her head again.

Because of that, she failed to notice the way the Emperor was looking at her.

She was too busy wondering why their eyes had met when she had been standing there just like everyone else.

The Emperor took a sip of the champagne in his glass, handed it back to the chief attendant, and gave a brief clap.

Music began to play.

Then many people in the banquet hall began moving one by one to find their partners.

“Edellis.”

Her father smiled broadly and held out his hand to her.

Just as she was about to place her hand on his, someone called out to the Count.

“Count Brill.”

The Count, whose precious time with his daughter had been interrupted, frowned deeply and turned toward the voice.

Count Mille was standing there.

“What is it, Count Mille?”

“Duke Darius is looking for you.”

Count Brill’s face involuntarily twisted in displeasure.

“Today is my daughter’s debutante ball. I’ll go a little later…”

“He sent word that it concerns His Majesty the Emperor, so you should come quickly.”

Mentioning the Emperor left the Count with no choice but to go.

“Go, Father.”

When Edellis pushed him gently from behind, the Count could only follow Count Mille with a devastated expression.

After her father left, Edellis wondered what she should do.

‘I have to dance at least one song… Still, I can use having no partner as an excuse. I could just stay here like a flower on the wall and leave as soon as the song ends. There’s no need to attract attention.’

But then, a young nobleman she had briefly encountered in the past approached Edellis with a flushed face and asked her to dance.

“Lady Edellis Brill, I don’t know if you remember me, but I am Ruta, the eldest son of House Viscount Vais. If you don’t have a partner, perhaps…”

More precisely, he was about to ask.

“Do you not have a partner?”

A low voice came from behind her.

Edellis’s head turned stiffly.

Standing behind her was the magnificently dressed Emperor.