CHAPTER 8
Jeong-a had also been selected as a Royal Nanny in the past through the Empress Dowager’s recommendation.
Back then, when Suryun had expressed concern over choosing someone so young, the Empress Dowager had said,
> “It’s a prejudice to think only older people are good at raising children. In fact, the older they are, the more likely they are to force their own parenting methods onto the parents.”
At the time, Suryun had thought the Empress Dowager’s words made sense and had followed her wishes.
The result of that decision…
After finishing her recollection, Suryun carefully examined Jeong-a’s résumé.
[Age: 25. Graduate of Korea Women’s University, Department of Early Childhood Education. One year of experience at the Imperial Kindergarten.]
Even now, it made no sense that someone so young and inexperienced had been nominated as a candidate for Royal Nanny.
Until now, Royal Nannies had always been women who had given birth and raised children with their own hands.
But Kim Jeong-a had not even turned thirty yet, and all she had was one year of experience working at the Imperial Kindergarten.
Why didn’t I realize it back then? She had been the Empress Dowager’s chosen candidate from the very beginning.
The foolish woman she had once been had believed the Empress Dowager had selected Jeong-a purely for the Princess’s sake.
After all, Se-hee was her only first grandchild.
She had believed the Empress Dowager would naturally choose the most qualified person for her own flesh and blood.
But looking back now, it was obvious that experience and ability had never been the priority.
The Empress Dowager had simply wanted to place one of her own people by the Princess’s side.
Anyone but Kim Jeong-a.
Setting revenge aside, Suryun did not want a woman like that anywhere near Se-hee.
No matter what it took, she would stop Kim Jeong-a from becoming the Royal Nanny.
After collecting her thoughts, Suryun spoke calmly.
“Just as Mother said, they’re all excellent candidates. However…”
With a hint of concern in her voice, she gently held out Kim Jeong-a’s résumé.
“This candidate is simply too young. Throughout the history of the Imperial Palace, every Royal Nanny has had experience giving birth and raising a child.”
There had never been a Royal Nanny who had no children of her own.
“How can someone who has never even raised a child properly take care of the Princess?”
As though she had expected the objection, the Empress Dowager replied,
“For the Mother of the Nation to be so narrow-minded.”
She clicked her tongue in disapproval as she looked down on Suryun.
“When older women become Royal Nannies, they’re always lecturing the parents about childcare. It’s absolutely exhausting. Even when I was raising the Emperor, I found that unbearable.”
The Empress Dowager rubbed her forehead as though the memory still gave her headaches.
Then she glanced sideways at Suryun and continued,
“So trust me. As someone who has raised an Emperor, I’m recommending someone young. Besides, she’s received professional training and has experience working at the Imperial Kindergarten. I’ve heard she had outstanding grades in school, and the parents all spoke highly of her.”
Listening to the endless praise she showered upon Jeong-a made Suryun feel sick.
“So, trust me this once. You’ll interview the candidates anyway and judge their character before making your decision. Meet her first.”
Just as expected.
These were the exact same words the Empress Dowager had said in the previous life.
If she openly opposed her here, she would only provoke even greater hostility.
For now, retreating was the wiser choice.
After reaching her decision, Suryun obediently nodded.
“I’ll follow your wishes, Mother.”
—
“Haa…”
As soon as she stepped out of Jagyeongjeon Hall, Suryun finally let out the breath she had been holding.
Every time she met the Empress Dowager, her entire body tensed instinctively.
Manager Jung approached her side.
In the past, she had been someone Suryun trusted and relied upon.
But…
“Even Manager Jung, whom the Empress treats like an older sister, knows everything about our relationship, doesn’t she?”
“Shall we return directly to Gyotaejeon Hall?”
Even she wasn’t truly on Suryun’s side.
After thinking for a moment, Suryun shook her head.
“I’ll go to Hyangwonjeong Pavilion.”
“Hyangwonjeong? It’s quite far from here…”
“I’ve been indoors for so long. I’d like to take a walk.”
“As you wish.”
They walked at a leisurely pace.
Lost in thought, Suryun hardly noticed the distance before they arrived at Hyangwonjeong.
As she crossed Chwihyanggyo Bridge leading to the pavilion, countless thoughts filled her mind.
The Empress Dowager is not someone I can underestimate.
Even if Suryun objected, the Empress Dowager would simply come up with another convincing excuse and eventually bring Kim Jeong-a into the palace.
Stopping halfway across the bridge, Suryun turned toward the pond.
It was the very pond where both she and her daughter had drowned.
I have to stay clear-headed.
If Kim Jeong-a became the Royal Nanny again, then the future in which she and Se-hee drowned would never change.
So what should I do?
As she pondered desperately, a forgotten memory suddenly surfaced.
> “Did you hear? About the Princess’s Royal Nanny? Apparently that woman’s past isn’t exactly clean.”
> “What do you mean?”
> “Back in high school…”
She remembered the palace maids whispering about Kim Jeong-a.
Back then, Suryun had ignored it.
The Jeong-a she knew had seemed kind and had cherished the Princess more than anyone.
But now that she knew Kim Jeong-a’s true nature, she could no longer dismiss those rumors.
I need to investigate.
Only one week remained before the Royal Nanny selection.
Within that time, she had to uncover something from Kim Jeong-a’s past that could disqualify her.
Having made up her mind, Suryun grew anxious.
She needed to return to her palace immediately and find someone who could investigate Kim Jeong-a.
Just as she turned around—
A palace attendant came running toward her, breathless.
“Your Majesty! His Majesty the Emperor has just returned to the palace!”
Her husband had returned.
The very first place Lee Jun visited after entering the palace was Gyotaejeon Hall.
As he entered, Suryun started to rise from her seat, but he waved a hand dismissively.
“There’s no need to get up. I heard you had a difficult delivery.”
Walking straight toward the baby, he gave Suryun a brief glance.
“I heard things were pretty dangerous. I’m glad you look better than I expected.”
Suryun’s eyebrows twitched at the indifferent tone, as though he were talking about a complete stranger.
“You were right to listen to Mother. Since you had a natural delivery, the baby’s healthy, isn’t she?”
If he had seen me receiving blood transfusions after losing so much blood that day…
…he never would have said something like that.
His reaction went beyond indifference.
It was cold.
Even if his pet dog had given birth, he would’ve shown more concern than this.
Suryun silently bit her lip as she stared at him.
Back then, reactions like this only made me sad.
He was the Emperor.
She was the Empress.
She had convinced herself it couldn’t be helped.
The marriage had never been built on love.
She believed she simply had to accept that.
She believed having a child would change their relationship.
Even while giving birth alone without her husband by her side, she had still clung to that foolish hope.
But now…
The way Suryun looked at her husband had completely changed.
Unaware of the emotions hidden behind her gaze, Lee Jun approached the cradle.
Carefully, he picked up the sleeping Princess.
“Does she take after me? …Maybe not. She’s still so little, it’s hard to tell.”
Despite saying that, a gentle smile appeared on his lips as he looked at the baby.
“And her name?”
“I’m thinking of naming her Se-hee.”
“Se-hee?”
“Yes. Se means ‘pure,’ and Hee means ‘radiance.’ I want her to grow up righteous and bright.”
“Se-hee…”
He slowly repeated their daughter’s name before smiling.
“It’s not bad.”
People always say every parent finds their own child adorable.
Even though Se-hee wasn’t the grandson he had hoped for, Lee Jun had loved her dearly.
When he first learned the baby’s gender, Suryun had seen the disappointment plainly written across his face.
She had worried then.
But his reaction after Se-hee was born had been completely different.
Then why…
Watching her husband cradle Se-hee as though she were the most precious thing in the world, Suryun clenched her fists.
If you cherished her so much…
Why?
Why did you kill Se-hee?
Why did you kill our daughter?
She swallowed the scream rising inside her.
She wanted nothing more than to snatch Se-hee from his arms.
She wanted to warn him never to lay another finger on their daughter.
She wanted to slap him across the face.
But she couldn’t.
Not now.
For now, she had to bury every one of those emotions and continue pretending to be the devoted, loving wife by his side.
Suryun smiled at her husband.
“…I think she’s very beautiful. She takes after you.”
While hiding the overwhelming urge to tear Lee Jun apart.
