Chapter 4. A Knife Belongs in the Heart

It was hot.

So unbearably hot.

Yet…

It was cold.

I had fallen asleep in a sea of flames.

So why was I opening my eyes on an icy stone floor?

I was inside the shabby prayer room tucked away in a remote corner of the Nuxieike ducal estate.

The very room the Duke had once ordered me to scrub with my bare hands as punishment when I was a child.

“Why…?!”

I never asked to relive my life!

I only begged for it to end!

If you were going to send me back, then you should have sent me back even further—

To before I ever met the Duke of Nuxieike!

“No… no… don’t!”

The screams would not stop.

What in the world had turned back my life?

God?

An angel?

A fairy?

A spirit?

No.

That couldn’t be.

Those beings were said to be merciful.

None of them could be this cruel.

Then…

Ah.

It must be a demon.

A demon was mocking me.

I’ll be beaten again.

I’ll starve.

I’ll shiver in the cold.

I’ll be dragged into the torture chamber.

And in the end…

I’ll burn to death all over again.

Until then, I’ll waste away in terror, dreading the future rushing toward me.

The demon will savor every moment of my despair as its entertainment.

After all…

That was exactly the sort of creature demons were said to be.

…Or was this Hell already?

Because they called me a witch?

Be terrified of the destruction awaiting you.

Die all over again.

That is your divine punishment.

“I don’t want this!”

“I said I don’t!”

“Why?”

“Why are you doing this to me?!”

I felt something split inside my ears.

Then I collapsed.

Darkness swallowed me.

Even within the ducal estate, there were quarters reserved for servants.

A tiny storage room that looked fit for maids.

Moonlight squeezed through the little window, pooling across the floor.

A young girl sat motionless on the narrow bed, staring at that silver light.

Her frail frame looked no older than ten.

Yet her eyes burned with an unsettling intensity.

She blinked so rarely that she seemed less like a living child than a ghost.

Eventually…

She stood.

A single candle rested in her hand.

She left the room and walked.

After some time, the humble servant quarters gave way to polished marble halls adorned with luxurious furnishings.

Still clutching the candlestick, Astir strode forward without hesitation.

Then—

She stopped.

Burn it.

I never hesitated over whether to set it on fire.

There had only ever been one question.

Where?

The answer was obvious.

The Central Manor.

The heart of the ducal estate.

A place forbidden to someone like me, who had lived in the farthest corner of the western wing.

The place the Duke treasured most.

The place directly connected to the gardens where his beloved Sei lived.

The very hall where he had forced me to kneel before everyone as he publicly disowned me.

Everyone called me a witch.

They said I’d made a pact with demons.

They claimed I had mastered dark magic.

If that were true…

Then there was no reason I couldn’t use it.

Offer a sacrifice.

Pray to a demon.

Have your wish granted.

And among all sacrifices…

A living one was said to be the most potent.

If I offered my own body as kindling…

The demons would breathe upon the flames and make them spread according to my wish.

They would consume this entire mansion.

Burn everything.

Every last thing possible.

My body tensed.

No one…

No one would stop me.

“My Lady.”

“!”

A low, stoic voice came from behind me.

Slowly…

I turned around.

A voice I could never forget.

One I should never have been able to hear again.

Because the man who owned it…

Had long since lost the chance to speak to me ever again.

A man stood there.

Short brown hair.

A strong jawline.

The blazing fury that had filled my skull only moments before suddenly sank into my chest.

“Vincten… Route…”

Vincten was a junior knight.

He served in the Nuxieike Knights, but he had never received full knighthood.

As an orphan, he’d been given the surname Route, the family name assigned to children raised in charitable institutions without known parents.

Years passed.

Yet he was never knighted.

He remained only a junior knight.

Because the temple demanded it, the Duke reluctantly entrusted young me to Vincten’s care so I could attend my infant baptism.

He had probably chosen Vincten because he seemed reliable enough.

Quiet.

Reserved.

The sort who simply carried out his duties without complaint.

That was how he became my sole attendant.

I had no maid.

No nanny.

No lady-in-waiting.

And I disliked him from the very first day we met.

He wasn’t kind.

He wasn’t handsome.

So I greeted his first day of service with an obvious scowl.

Soon enough…

I truly came to dislike him.

The carriage was the problem.

Compared to the Duke’s or Sei’s carriage, it was nothing more than an ordinary wagon.

But to a ten-year-old child…

Even that was a challenge.

I saw the step.

It didn’t help.

It looked far too high for me to climb down by myself.

I stood there hesitating, nearly in tears.

Vincten spoke in his usual flat tone.

“My Lady.”

“Please come down.”

“Waaah…!”

“We are already behind schedule.”

He remained unmoved by my tears.

And I exploded.

“Sei gets carried down by Grandfather!”

“Handsome knights escort her!”

“But me… I-I…!”

After I’d cried for what felt like forever…

He quietly knelt on the ground.

Offering me his back.

He was telling me to step on him and climb down.

I hesitated.

Was it really all right?

Eventually…

I stepped onto his back.

Vincten remained expressionless.

He didn’t even grunt.

Only after we left the temple did he finally speak.

His voice was calm.

Yet unmistakably firm.

“My Lady.”

“From now on, you must get into and out of the carriage yourself.”

“I am only a junior knight.”

“Those who have not yet earned knighthood cannot attend their masters as true knights do.”

“I can offer you my back.”

“But I cannot offer you my hand.”

His tone remained even.

Yet it grew noticeably sterner.

“That is the work of slaves.”

“No matter how low one’s station may be…”

“No one welcomes such treatment.”

But my resentment had already boiled over.

“Go away!”

“Get away from me!”

“You think I even like you?”

A mere junior knight dares speak to me like this?

You’d never dare say such things to Sei.

You look down on me.

The injustice overwhelmed me, and I burst into tears.

After my debutante…

After entering the Academy…

I finally understood how humiliating his existence was.

He had become another symbol of the discrimination I suffered.

Girls my age laughed at me.

Knights and servants mocked both of us together.

It grated on my nerves every single day.

“Look at him.”

“Lowborn from birth. Barely a junior knight. Pathetic.”

“He suits his mistress.”

“The fake young lady who lied her way into the ducal family and her worthless junior knight—what a perfect pair.”

I became increasingly sharp-tongued.

At the same time…

My reputation plummeted.

“My Lady.”

“There is something I must tell you.”

One day, when we were alone, Vincten stopped me.

“Do you know what people have been saying about you lately?”

His tone was far sharper than usual.

“Even someone as insignificant as I am hears nothing but unpleasant rumors.”

So you know you’re only a lowly junior knight, I thought bitterly.

Then why are you lecturing me?

I glared at him.

“Please don’t raise your voice in front of His Grace or Lady Sei.”

“And don’t shout at the servants.”

Normally, saying more than three sentences was unusually talkative for him.

Yet that day…

He continued.

“Do you understand how dangerous your situation is?”

“The people above you already regard you as someone beneath contempt.”

“The people below you see you as lacking virtue.”

Then he sighed.

“Do you think the First Young Lady earns praise simply by standing still?”

“You must learn to observe.”

“To endure.”

“At the very least, you must appear to be a kind younger sister.”

“Everyone adores Lady Sei.”

“If rumors spread that her younger sister is vicious… do you understand how terrifying that is?”

He grew even firmer when I refused to answer.

“People don’t care about the truth!”

“They all believe their own eyes and ears are infallible!”

“When Lady Sei speaks gently and you snap back at her, everyone sees only a cruel younger sister!”

“And what about those beneath you?”

“Do you treat them kindly?”

“Unlike Lady Sei, you never offer warm words.”

“You’re always harsh.”

“So why would anyone ever choose to follow you?”

So that was it.

You’ll never measure up to Sei.

Know your place.

Be obedient.

Turn the other cheek.

Live meekly.

Did you really think being a Nuxieike daughter made you equal to her?

I’d heard those words countless times.

There was nothing new about them.

Except…

This time they came from him.

I bit down hard on my lower lip.

“Who could possibly look at the person you’ve become… and think you’re trustworthy?”

That sentence wounded me more deeply than anything else.

So in the end…

Everything was my fault.

Tears finally spilled over.

“And what about you?!”

“How obedient are you to dare lecture me?”

“When have you ever treated me like your mistress?”

My anger burst free.

“How dare you lecture a lady?”

“And all you do is blame me!”

“Who do you think you are?!”

“If you’re so great…”

“Then why aren’t you even a real knight?!”

Wiping away my tears with a clenched fist, I shouted,

“I hate this!”

“Do you think I wanted to live like this?”

“I never wanted to spend my life attended by someone like you—a mere junior knight!”

I spun around and stormed off.

For a brief moment, I looked back.

Vincten still stood exactly where I’d left him.

As though his feet had rooted themselves to the ground.

I never looked back again.

After that day…

I spoke to him only when absolutely necessary.

Time passed.

Sei was proclaimed the Saint.

More time passed.

I was arrested for attempting to assassinate her.

At the heresy trial…

Witness after witness took the stand.

Young noblewomen.

Servants from the ducal estate.

“She was always plotting something sinister at the Academy.”

“She constantly tried to harm Lady Sei.”

“She even scratched Lady Sei’s face until it bled.”

One after another, they testified to how immoral I had been…

How much I hated the Saint…

How naturally capable I was of plotting her murder.

Then another witness was called.

“Vincten Route.”

“Junior Knight of the Nuxieike Order.”

“Personal attendant to the accused.”

By then…

I’d already given up.

I simply waited for the final blow.

Vincten Route surely resented me.

I’d humiliated him countless times.

As my sole attendant, he stood in an even more desperate position than the others.

To prove he had nothing to do with me…

He would have no choice but to condemn me completely.

I was certain his testimony would be the most damning of all.

I closed my eyes in resignation.

Yet…

Contrary to my expectations…

Silence filled the courtroom.

The jeering from the gallery gradually faded into puzzled murmurs.

Then…

A trembling voice finally came from the witness stand.

It shocked me.

Vincten Route…

Trembling?

He was the sort of man who looked as though he wouldn’t let his voice shake even if a sword were driven through him.

That was how stoic he had always been.

“Astir…”

The witness spoke the prisoner’s name.

That alone wasn’t unusual.

“…My Lady.”

That was the problem.

A very serious problem.

He had just addressed the accused witch—

The woman charged with attempting to murder the Saint—

As “My Lady.”

Silence fell over the courtroom.