CHAPTER 115………………………………….
The moment I asked, I already felt regret.
Come to think of it, going to meet the great chief on my own was wrong. I should have asked Giovanni’s opinion first and acted accordingly.
But Giovanni shook his head.
Then why? I looked at him, puzzled.
He said casually,
“What if you had lost the bet?”
“Pardon?”
“Would you really have handed over your underwear?”
For a moment I froze, then my face flushed red. I snapped back.
“Of course not. I only did it because I didn’t think I’d lose.”
As long as I had my ability, losing a drinking bet was impossible.
Giovanni opened his mouth, then closed it again. He wiped his face with one hand as if in dry fatigue.
A low sigh escaped him.
“Even so, don’t make such bets.”
At his complicated reaction, I nodded obediently.
“Alright.”
Only then did he lower his hand and look at me, letting out a faint laugh.
“Good. You must be tired. Go in and sleep.”
I grabbed his wrist as he turned away.
“You’re not drinking?”
“If it’s to clear up a misunderstanding, then it’s fine. I understand what you meant.”
“That’s not it. I want to drink with you, Your Highness.”
Giovanni frowned.
Once again, a drinking table was set up in Giovanni’s study.
When I persuaded him again after he said drinking that much wasn’t good for his health, he eventually called a servant to bring alcohol and snacks.
“He really just goes along with it…”
Come to think of it, Giovanni rarely refused anything I asked for. Considering how blunt he was, it was rather surprising.
I glanced at him sitting quietly, then took out the alcohol I had prepared under the table.
I placed it next to the drink the servant had brought, and his eyes followed it.
“Here. This is the drink I brought.”
As I tilted the beautifully crafted glass bottle, a black liquid flowed out.
Giovanni lifted the glass and smelled it.
“Black beer.”
“That’s right.”
I had bought it immediately after seeing it at the alcohol market.
It tasted bitter, so I thought Giovanni would like it.
“There was only one bottle at the shop. It seems like it’s something I used to enjoy whenever I went to Amtein, but it doesn’t seem popular here.”
“Imperials prefer ikrak the most.”
I looked at Giovanni as he lightly swirled the glass.
His eyes moved from the swaying drink to me.
“You want to drink this together?”
I nodded.
“You’ve already drunk quite a bit at the great chief’s house. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m not even slightly drunk.”
Giovanni studied my face as if verifying the truth.
I tapped my glass lightly against his.
“Try it.”
Without taking his eyes off me, he brought the glass to his lips. I watched the black liquid pass his lips.
His eyes widened slightly.
“…It’s good.”
At that, a smile slipped from my lips.
“Right? It was a bit astringent originally, but after a bit of processing it became much cleaner and better.”
By processing, I meant purifying it with my ability.
“I didn’t give this to anyone. I wanted to drink it with Your Highness. There wasn’t much of it anyway.”
As I got a little carried away talking, Giovanni set his glass down and stared at me silently.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
The sound of a date palm being chewed awkwardly echoed in the silence.
Giovanni still said nothing, just kept looking at me. Feeling awkward, I gulped down the black beer.
The bitter carbonation scraped through my throat refreshingly.
“Ah.”
Then Giovanni made a small sound as he opened his mouth. When I looked at him and wiped my lips with the back of my hand, a faint smile appeared on his face.
“My anger is gone.”
“Huh?”
“Even after talking in the hall earlier, I strangely still felt bad.”
He murmured slowly, then smiled faintly and took a sip of his drink.
“What were you so unhappy about?”
I thought he would take a long time to answer again, but Giovanni spoke without difficulty.
“I didn’t even know you had prepared alcohol. The great chief praising it for its taste—I had no way of knowing what it tasted like.”
“….”
“And I didn’t like the fact that Lord Rakki and the great chief drank your alcohol first.”
Only then did I realize, as if everything had finally clicked into place, Giovanni’s expression eased.
But my own feelings, instead of becoming clear, only sank further into confusion.
“It’s not even something I made.”
“Even so.”
With a faint smile, I automatically brought my glass to my lips. The cool carbonation soothed my burning insides.
Giovanni lightly swirled his glass and smiled.
“You wanted to drink it with me.”
“….”
“I don’t know why that feels so good to hear.”
Does he really not know?
I glanced at him, then cleared my throat.
“Black drinks are rare. So I thought of you, Your Highness.”
“Why?”
“Well… maybe because the color is similar to your eyes?”
“Desert people mostly have that color.”
“Your hair too…”
“Same with hair.”
Cold sweat formed down my back.
‘Why is he so persistent?’
I awkwardly scratched my cheek and shrugged.
“For me, black is your color, Your Highness. When I bought it, I didn’t even think about whether other Imperials had black or brown eyes.”
After speaking honestly, I paused.
The usually expressionless Giovanni had a faint curve at the corner of his lips.
It might not have suited such a large, masculine man, but it was a beautiful smile.
“I think that’s what I wanted to hear.”
The black beer swayed in his hand. The glass wasn’t small, but in his hand it looked like a toy.
He stared at the drink.
“Is this… a drink for me?”
“….”
“It’s good.”
His gentle smile.
Another strike following the curve of his lips.
I had lost the ability to speak.
Giovanni tilted his head.
“Why are you like that?”
“Just… wondering if you’ve always been like this.”
I muttered, and he let out a short laugh.
“I find it strange too. Like you said, I’ve never felt desire. I’ve only ever pretended to have it.”
It was strangely difficult to understand. Pretending to have desire?
Desire is a basic human instinct.
A human without desire is nothing but a corpse.
But looking at Giovanni’s calm face, I couldn’t think he was lying.
“Did you hear from Kichep that I’ve never been with a woman?”
I flinched and nodded a beat late.
“It’s true. That aspect of me made the fierce warriors and tribal chiefs distrust me. Strange, isn’t it? Not believing someone just because he doesn’t take women.”
I nodded immediately, and he gave a light chuckle.
“For that reason, the great chief declared I could not become Khan.”
“The great chief said that?”
He seemed to care about Giovanni quite a bit.
“Yes. That’s why he never supported me. He also refused to join Rakki’s faction.”
“….”
“But earlier, I was angry. Seeing Lord Rakki laugh while looking at you made me unexpectedly furious.”
Suddenly, he looked straight at me.
Silent, intense, firm—an unavoidable gaze.
“You make me angry.”
“….”
“And yet you also make me happy.”
“….”
“Perhaps it isn’t anger. It might be anxiety.”
I lost my words again. His language, though not foreign, felt like rain falling on me—sharp drops piercing straight into my chest.
Frowning, I glared at him, and Giovanni blinked.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because… I didn’t expect Your Highness to be this honest. I’m managing my expression.”
“Managing your expression?”
Giovanni asked, sounding dubious.
I nodded, still deeply furrowing my brow.
It was an attempt to control my face from relaxing on its own.
I can see Giovanni.
Only Giovanni.
To me, they meant the same thing.
‘I’ve never thought about it.’
That I would feel something like affection toward such a large man.
“What is this…? This is unsettling.”
A sensation both familiar and unfamiliar made my chest itch.
Like when I felt overwhelmed after being acknowledged by Giovanni, my breathing became uneven.
This was an unknown feeling to me.
To hide my confusion, I downed the rest of my drink. The bitter taste and rich aroma now felt dull.
Calm down. Stay calm…
Repeating it inwardly, I met Giovanni’s gaze.
He was quietly watching me, as if waiting for my words. My heart leapt like a fish.
“Your Highness gives me stability. And he makes me… overwhelmed.”
“….”
“Both before and now.”
I avoided his eyes. I had no choice. Just his gaze felt like it was peeling me open.
I feel like I’ll be exposed. This state I can’t even define myself.
That feeling was fear.
Even while being used by Hubert, part of my mind always prepared a way to survive for myself.
Not being able to control my emotions like this was dangerous.
“Why is that?”
He asked. His voice sounded oddly tense.
I’m not someone who postpones what I should do, but today… I couldn’t.
“I’m tired. Let’s end the drinking here.”
I tried to leave, but he grabbed my wrist.
Startled, I tried to shake him off, and the glass in my hand slipped and shattered on the floor.
Crash!
“Ah…!”
“Don’t move. You’ll get hurt.”
Giovanni stopped me as I tried to clean it up immediately, then lifted me effortlessly by placing his hands under my arms and setting me down somewhere safe. It felt like I had become a child.
I looked down at the floor.
Glass shards were scattered everywhere.
“I’ll clean it up.”
As I turned to get a cloth, Giovanni grabbed my hand.
“Don’t worry. I’ll clean it later.”
“But…”
Still holding my hand tightly, he gently turned my face away from the broken glass.
Black eyes. An intent gaze.
Unlike usual, it was persistent. Of course, I could have pulled away if I wanted to—but I had no strength left to do so.
