Chapter 44: Can I Cross the Line?
Left alone, I diligently cleared my dessert.
They say you’ll be punished if you leave food behind.
I glanced at Hertian’s seat and saw the untouched fruit dessert still there.
“Should I eat that too?”
I was oddly craving sweets today.
Even though I’d eaten a full lunch, I felt strangely hollow inside. Why? Is it that time soon?
Unable to find a clear reason, I silently stared at the dessert.
I considered asking for more, but eating dessert alone felt too pitiful, so I gave up.
Then I turned my gaze to the dessert Hertian had left behind.
‘Do I really need to ask for a new one? If it’s just going to be thrown away, I might as well eat it.’
After checking no one was around, I got up and walked over to his seat and picked up the dessert plate.
As I walked back, I spotted something on Eleanor’s table.
It was a long, rugged-looking bracelet.
Judging by how neatly it was placed, she must have taken it off for convenience during the meal.
“Should I return it or not?”
Normally, I would have rushed over immediately, but this time, I hesitated.
Hertian had said he needed to talk to Eleanor.
And remembering what just happened—Hertian hastily cutting off the academy talk—I felt like a wall had gone up between us.
Was it something I wasn’t supposed to hear?
Seeing them step outside to talk made me feel I shouldn’t interrupt their time together.
“Hmm. But I don’t want to shrink back either.”
No matter what their relationship was, I didn’t need to hold back.
I was just returning something Eleanor left behind—what was the big deal?
So I picked up the bracelet and left the dining room.
“Do you know where the knight who came with the Grand Duke went?”
I asked a nearby butler, who kindly pointed outside.
“They went to the training grounds to greet the knights.”
“Thank you.”
Without hesitation, I followed them.
I hadn’t been to the training grounds before and got lost briefly, but just before arriving, I saw the two of them talking.
Hertian held out his pinky finger to her. Were they making a promise or something?
Seeing the two of them spending time alone right in front of me, I couldn’t bring myself to approach.
I quickly hid behind a tree and watched them.
‘Why am I hiding?’
Even if it’s a contract marriage, was I bothered by my husband being with another woman?
Then, when I saw a knight passing by, I crouched behind the tree to stay hidden.
Suddenly, an old memory surfaced.
There had been a similar moment before.
When I was young, during a snowy winter, I had watched Rian playing outside through the window.
When our eyes met, I had quickly drawn the curtain and hid.
Back then, I thought it was because I couldn’t stand him. But that wasn’t it.
‘I was jealous.’
I was jealous because Hertian—someone I thought was in the same boat as me—looked happy.
While I was struggling through this cold, someone else was giggling with their crush!
That had to be why I felt hollow inside.
“I don’t want to cause confusion.”
At that moment, I heard Hertian’s voice.
I didn’t understand what he meant. I hadn’t heard the conversation leading up to it.
‘Wait… is he confessing or something now?’
But that suspicion vanished the moment I heard Eleanor’s next words. My mind froze.
“You’ve received orders to join the war.”
I wanted to believe I had misheard from a distance, but I couldn’t.
The white envelope she pulled out from her coat was undeniable proof.
So that’s why the Deputy Commander of the Imperial Knights came all this way—just to deliver the war order.
My heart dropped.
This was the one thing I had feared ever since marrying Hertian.
The pressure from the Empress’s faction.
While other nobles could have mistresses in secret, the Emperor wasn’t free.
The Empress, backed by a massive maternal family, didn’t want her beloved son dragged into factional struggles.
But the Emperor thought differently.
Unwilling to be a puppet on the throne, he wanted to pass it to a wise son. That son was Hertian.
But for Hertian, who had no faction, being the Emperor’s son was a curse.
He was a fugitive in an endless game.
Even now, after marriage, that game wasn’t over.
“What do you mean?”
I forgot I had been hiding and marched straight toward them.
Both of them looked at me in surprise and exchanged glances.
“Your Grace… how much of our conversation did you hear?”
Eleanor asked first, visibly anxious I might’ve overheard a private promise with Hertian.
She seemed more worried about that than the war order.
“Just the part about the war.”
She breathed a small sigh of relief.
Seeing her reaction, Hertian stepped in to explain.
“Though it’s a war order, I have no intention of going.”
“You’re going to disobey a direct order?”
“No. I already submitted a letter before our marriage stating that I couldn’t comply with any summons until we were settled.”
He shared that he had already spoken with the Emperor and planned to remain at the duchy until things stabilized.
But judging by this sudden war order, it likely didn’t come from the Emperor.
Then I remembered—Serdis had recently visited the duchy.
I locked eyes with Hertian. He must’ve thought the same.
“Which region were you assigned to?”
“They said Turan.”
“If it’s Turan, the scale won’t be large.”
“How do you know that, Your Grace?”
Eleanor asked with interest.
That battle was briefly mentioned in the novel.
Most major wars were covered in either Serdis’s or Violet’s storyline.
“It’s on the outskirts of a small kingdom, and they have clear demands from the Empire. I doubt they’d start a full-scale war.”
“You’re right.”
“Actually, this might be better. Since it’s a small-scale conflict, it’ll be easier to refuse without causing a fuss.”
Honestly, sending a Grand Duke to such a minor skirmish was suspicious.
“There’s no need for Your Grace to worry. I’ll explain the situation myself.”
“Why would you do that, Eleanor?”
“Huh? I just want my dear friend to have a peaceful honeymoon…”
“How would the Imperial Second Knights Commander have time to worry about a friend’s marriage? I’ll handle this myself.”
I cut her off.
I was the Grand Duchess, after all—no need to pass responsibility to someone else.
Plus, part of our contract was to use my abilities.
“But it’ll be easier if I help.”
“No. This is our issue.”
My firm tone shut her down.
Hertian, standing beside me, added calmly:
“She’s right. This is my issue too—let us handle it.”
Eleanor seemed to glare at him briefly before smiling with a hint of amusement.
“You’re lucky to have Her Grace by your side, Hertian.”
She was cool-headed, as expected of a knight commander.
“I only offered because I didn’t want to cause trouble. Please understand.”
I handed her the bracelet and gently took Hertian’s wrist.
It was time for just the two of us to talk.
“Let’s go.”
As I turned to leave, taking him with me, he stopped me.
He looked confused.
“My lady… are you upset?”
“Huh? Me?”
“Your expression seems angry.”
Apparently, I’d been frowning without realizing it.
Was I envious again of how well Eleanor and Hertian got along?
Come to think of it, I had acted a bit out of character.
“I was just worried about you. If I was rude to Eleanor, I apologize.”
I cleared my throat and spoke more gently.
Eleanor chuckled, teasing us about being inseparable newlyweds.
✧
After showing Eleanor and the knights to their rooms, I entered the office with Hertian.
As the door closed, he turned to me.
“My lady.”
I knew what he was about to say.
“Wait. Let me speak first.”
I interrupted. Just like with the business deal, I knew he’d try to stop me.
“Hertian and I are still in a contract, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then I have the right to get involved to protect that contract.”
I made my stance clear.
I intended to get involved in this war situation.
Because Hertian would end up going to war anyway.
In the original story, the battles he didn’t join were few and far between—and Turan wasn’t one of them.
Which meant he’d be going this time too.
And since this involved Serdis, I had more reason to step in.
“But it’s dangerous.”
He wasn’t worried—he was uncomfortable.
As I’d sensed with the Courcia matter, Hertian wasn’t fond of others interfering in his affairs.
But doing everything alone wasn’t always wise.
Especially if Serdis was involved.
“I know you don’t like others stepping into your domain.
But while we’re living together, don’t draw the line so sharply with me.”
“Wait… are you saying I’ve made you feel unwelcome?”
“Haven’t you?”
He looked bewildered and loosened his tie.
“Not at all.”
“Then… can I cross the line?”
If Serdis was involved, I was ready to cross all unseen lines between Hertian and me.
To protect our marriage from being shaken.
If someone like Serdis was planning to drive a wedge between us, they’d have to try harder.
Hertian didn’t answer.
He just stared at me, lips slightly parted.
His ears were red.
“Hertian. Your ears are red. Are you cold?”
“Ah—no. I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie. Even if you run hot, wearing such thin clothes in this weather will make you sick.”
I wondered if he’d been taking the medicine I gave him.
I moved to the fireplace and added kindling, then walked back over.
Now that I looked, he was dressed just like he had been in the capital, with only a thin cape over it.
“I guess I’ll have to cross several lines from now on.”
I’d been so focused on sewing maid uniforms that I’d neglected his clothes.
If he kept walking around like that in this cold, he’d fall ill for sure.
Just then, he reached out and held my hand.
Despite his red ears, his hand was warm—so warm, it felt like he was the one warming me.
“Can I cross the line too?”
