Chapter 41. Could He Really Be Asexual?
Did I just hear that right?
Did she say Herthian has a woman he likes?
“Don’t joke around.”
The same Herthian who claimed to be asexual and swore off marriage for life—he, who endured years of nagging from his retainers? A woman? That was absurd.
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but… it’s just pitiful watching you work so hard for him and the family. That’s why I’m telling you.”
Lili, with her sweet face, let those venomous words slip. Clearly, she was saying this because she didn’t like me. A subtle warning: You don’t belong here. Stop pretending to be part of the family.
“Even if it’s true, this isn’t your place to say it. Just say you don’t like me. That’s what you want, right? To make sure I fail in my role here. To put me in my place, show me I rank beneath you. Isn’t that it?”
I shot back, voice low and harsh. Lili responded, suddenly serious.
“Believe it or not, I’m not stupid enough to joke about something like this with Herthian. Do with the information what you will.”
I stared at her.
The story about Herthian didn’t seem like a lie.
But that didn’t mean she wasn’t using it to assert her place—someone who’s lived like the lady of the castle for years, now resenting the outsider daring to interfere.
I placed my hands on my hips and sighed.
“Fine. Let’s not speak of the Archduke’s supposed affections again. I mean it.”
I was more worried about the rumor spreading than about her attitude.
“Aren’t you curious who the person is?”
Was I supposed to pretend curiosity now?
I wasn’t sure if I should react like a newlywed wife being shaken by gossip.
Though… if it were true, I was a little curious.
“If I said I was curious, would you actually tell me?”
“Of course.”
Surprisingly, Lili answered without hesitation. I looked at her in disbelief as she stepped closer, arms crossed with smug confidence.
“But only if you apologize. For last time—when you sided with that returning vassal from Curcia instead of me. Then I’ll tell you who it is.”
Figures.
My mistake was expecting anything from Lili.
“That situation was your fault. And if anyone owes anyone an apology, it’s you. You ruined the cake and birthday gift I gave you—asking for an apology after that is rich, don’t you think?”
Not that I ever expected her to apologize.
“If you tell me who it is, maybe I’ll overlook this whole mess.”
I lifted my chin arrogantly and stared down at her. Lili, who was a head shorter, glared up and bit her lip—then stuck her tongue out.
“Not telling~.”
She swished her dress dramatically as she exited the room.
I shrugged as I watched her leave.
Yeah… making friends with Lili just wasn’t going to happen.
*
Suddenly, a thought occurred to me.
“What was Herthian like in the original novel again?”
I soaked in the warm bath, staring at the water, lost in thought.
Talking with Lili hadn’t bothered me much at the time, but now that I was alone, a million thoughts started spinning.
What I knew was this: Herthian didn’t marry because he was asexual.
He never married, period.
“Was that really true?”
I’d never questioned it. The novel described Herthian that way, and I had simply accepted it.
There was no exploration of why he was asexual, or even if he truly was. He, like me, was a supporting character meant to bolster the protagonists’ romance. I had just applied that narrative frame to him without question.
“Could it be… there was someone he liked?”
I didn’t fully trust Lili, but the idea that he had feelings for someone and still married me—that nagged at me.
It’s strange, isn’t it?
Even in the book, why hadn’t he married the person he supposedly loved?
My thoughts were spinning in circles when—
“My lady, you’ve been in there a while today. His Grace has already gone to bed.”
Bonisa entered the bathroom with a towel.
As she moved to dry my hair, I quickly caught her hand.
“Bonisa, can I ask you something?”
She smiled warmly.
“About the clothes you gifted me? I was going to thank you! You have no idea how much easier life in this castle’s become. The other maids walk around like they’re in gowns now!”
Oh, right. That too.
No wonder the maids had been looking at me more kindly lately.
I’d completely forgotten, what with everything going on.
“I’m glad they like it.”
“It’s all thanks to you. And with the castle renovations coming, we’re all so excited.”
“Oh, uh, yeah.”
Apparently Bonisa had more to say than I did.
She kept chattering, full of praise, until I was wrapped in a thick bathrobe. Sensing I might lose my chance, I stopped her again.
“Bonisa, so… I have this friend.”
I couldn’t outright say Herthian’s name, so I disguised it.
“Who? Lady Violette?”
“No, another friend.”
“You… have friends, my lady?”
Right. I didn’t have any.
Even at the Academy, aside from Cassian, the only people I interacted with were professors.
I was too absorbed in my disease research to make acquaintances, let alone friends.
“A professor I know,” I said, brushing it off.
“They entered into an arranged marriage, but apparently they were in love with someone else at the time. Why do you think they married someone different?”
Even I thought the question sounded strange.
Bonisa, undeterred, pondered seriously before replying.
“Hmm… Maybe the family opposed the match? Professors, like nobles, can’t easily marry commoners or maids like me.”
“That’s true.”
I’d considered such realistic barriers.
Still, if he was so opposed to marrying anyone else, wouldn’t he have outright refused like in the novel?
Or just married and then taken the person he loved as a mistress?
There were gaps in that reasoning.
“Or maybe that person was already married. Or perhaps had someone else they loved?”
That theory made more sense.
“If that’s the case…”
Then it all made sense.
At some point, Bonisa had finished dressing me in a cozy nightgown.
“Was it someone very close to you? You look really serious.”
Startled, I touched my face.
“Do I?”
I must’ve been frowning. Over something like this.
Whether Herthian had someone he loved or not—it didn’t change our contract marriage.
Still… I decided to let Lili’s words go and forced a mechanical smile.
“It’s nothing.”
*
When I entered the bedroom, Herthian was already seated on the bed, flipping through a book.
Was it Lili’s words that made him look different tonight? Or Bonisa’s?
I slowly approached.
He was so focused on his book that he didn’t even notice I’d come in.
Even when I climbed up beside him, his eyes didn’t move from the pages.
I studied him closely.
Black hair so neat it seemed plain—yet his striking features were bold and attractive, enough to rival Serdis, if not surpass him.
And he’s not even timid like Serdis.
He didn’t beat around the bush when it came to people he liked.
With a man this perfect, it was hard to believe any woman could fall for someone else.
“When did you come in?”
Oops.
I’d drifted into another strange train of thought.
I quickly smoothed my expression and asked:
“What’s so interesting in that book?”
“Ah.”
He quickly closed it and set it on the nightstand. I glanced at it. The cover was flipped down—I couldn’t see the title.
“Never seen that one before. What’s it about?”
“Nothing special.”
“If it’s ‘nothing,’ then why won’t you say?”
He suddenly went silent.
I hadn’t been that curious, but now I felt suspicious.
Was it about the woman he liked?
We were sharing a bed, and I almost forgot this was a contract marriage.
Prying like this bordered on invading his privacy.
Understanding that, I lay down and turned away.
“You don’t have to tell me. Read if you like—I’m going to sleep.”
And I hoped… he’d forget that woman soon.
So the pain would fade faster.
But then why did I feel this lingering bitterness?
No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t explain it.
Just then, something warm touched my shoulder.
“May I take a look?”
Herthian gently placed a hand on my shoulder.
Not in the usual, casual way—he was trying to lift my robe slightly.
To see the belladonna crest.
“Of course.”
I gladly swept my hair aside and tilted my neck. His cautious touch made my skin twitch.
I couldn’t see him, but I could feel his gaze settle on the mark—and it felt oddly intimate.
“You said you were born with it, yes?”
“Yes. My father, Rian, and I—we were all born with it as part of the Count’s bloodline.”
I’d told him before our marriage, when I first showed him the mark.
Every member of the Count of Luangberia’s family was born with this symbol.
The belladonna flower never changed, though my brother Rian had caused it to sprout and bloom. At the end of that blossom—was death.
“The leaves have spread a little more since last time.”
He was right.
After Rian died, as if waiting for the moment, my mark began to sprout.
My body rapidly weakened, and I began collapsing unpredictably.
“Compared to Rian, it’s growing slowly.”
Rian died two years after his mark changed.
But I hadn’t.
It had been five years since his death—and I was still alive.
Not that that meant much.
In the original story, Anette died shortly after marrying the Marquess.
I recalled how little interaction Herthian and I had in the original.
There had been none.
Serdis had started his rampage, Anette died early, and only after all the ex-girlfriends had been wiped out did Herthian appear before Serdis, fresh from war.
It was painful to think about—how Herthian and I were just sacrifices to highlight the main characters.
Just then, as I grew quiet, he asked me in a heavy voice:
“Do you also believe this mark is what’s making your body ill?”
