MLHBMH 35

Chapter 35

Although I had found the answer, I still couldn’t understand it. And what I couldn’t say hadn’t changed either, so Herald kept his mouth firmly shut.

“Why… aren’t you saying anything?”

Lily asked, worried. At her urging to answer quickly, Herald looked at her for a moment before asking back,

“What do you think I did it for?”

“That’s…”

It wasn’t a “I don’t know,” but rather an attempt to say something, so it seemed there was a reason behind it.

“Then… what is it? I hope you continue what you were going to say.”

Curious about why she had sent him a letter, Herald pressed persistently. Lily, flustered, bit her lip and replied sulkily,

“…I think I was the one who asked the question first.”

“Do you want to hear my answer?”

“Yes, I do.”

Seeing Lily insist, Herald shrugged his shoulders and answered casually,

“I did it because I wanted to see you.”

Though the words were far from the truth, it was the reason she had so desperately wanted to hear. Yet hearing it made her so flustered that her green eyes trembled like leaves in a storm. Slowly, Lily parted her lips, even more trembling, and asked,

“You knew I was married… and yet you still wanted to see me?”

“Is that not allowed?”

Herald asked, genuinely not understanding what was wrong. Lily closed her eyes tightly. His actions went against common sense, but strangely, she didn’t dislike it. In fact, she envied his freedom to express his feelings without restraint.

“…Yes, it’s not allowed.”

Still, nothing changed. Determined to end this unforgivable relationship, Lily opened her eyes and looked directly at Herald, continuing,

“As you already know, I am married. But meeting like this… it’s not right. It’s an inappropriate relationship. So let’s stop here.”

Her small hands, neatly placed on her lap, tightened. Suppressing the surge of emotions, she spoke as calmly as she could,

“Responding to your letter and sitting here now is all to sort out our improper relationship. I thought of writing everything in detail in the letter… but I’ve received so much help from you, it wouldn’t be proper to do that. So…”

Trying to communicate calmly without emotion, Lily paused when Herald suddenly offered her a handkerchief.

“Wipe it.”

“Wipe what?”

“Ah!”

In an instant, her question turned into realization. Only then did she realize she had been crying, and she hastily took the handkerchief to wipe her tears. She felt terribly embarrassed to have said what she had while crying.

What made it even more uncomfortable was that the tears wouldn’t stop. Once aware of them, they poured even more, leaving the handkerchief soaked.

“I didn’t mean to cry. But I don’t know why I am. Why am I crying?”

Feeling she had to say something, Lily spoke, but her excuses were so poor that she immediately regretted speaking at all. The tears continued to flow relentlessly, driving her nearly mad.

With her face buried in the wet handkerchief, she cried endlessly, when a low voice spoke,

“Do you hate meeting me?”

She should have answered that meeting him was uncomfortable, knowing that admitting it would help resolve this inappropriate relationship. But Lily shook her head.

The reason was simple: it was her true feeling. Her desire to be with him constantly overpowered her reason.

“Then… are you worried about your reputation? Are you ending this because people might gossip if they knew we were in an inappropriate relationship?”

“…No.”

Her own reputation had already bottomed out. There was nowhere else to fall. But this man… it was different.

“I’m worried about you. Being with a woman like me wouldn’t bring you anything good. It would only harm your reputation…”

Herald, now beside her, held her hand that was gripping the handkerchief. Startled, Lily lifted her head.

“You don’t need to worry about my reputation. I’ll handle it.”

As he wiped the tears from her eyes, his voice gentle, he continued,

“You only need to think about wanting to be with me.”

Though his tone was soft, his golden eyes staring at her were terrifyingly serious and deep.

“Lily, if you wish, I will gladly become your partner.”

“My wife is meeting another man.”

Predic chuckled at the unexpected news he had heard from the informant he had placed near Lily. He never imagined that either Lily or Benjamin would cheat. She was too naive and honest. Even in a loveless arranged marriage, she couldn’t comprehend meeting another person outside her spouse.

But hearing that Lily was meeting another man made him uneasy, especially given the way she had dressed that morning. Her carefully chosen outfit looked fresh and innocent, like a girl just discovering love.

‘Could it be… she loves him?’

That would be troublesome. Predic frowned. He could understand someone having a fling just for distraction, but love? He had often seen foolish people throw everything away for love, and it annoyed him.

Of course, Lily’s personality meant she wouldn’t abandon her mother for love. But one could never be too sure. The thought that someone he never imagined cheating might make reckless choices in love, like pursuing another man… or demanding a divorce… made his eyes darken.

“Divorce is absolutely not an option.”

It had to be him who decided, never her. Especially if divorce wouldn’t benefit him, it was unacceptable.

“I need to check.”

Predic felt the need to be sure whether it was love or mere amusement, and paused his work to leave for the estate.

On the way back to Viscount Benjamin’s estate in a shared carriage, Lily rested her head against the swaying wall, her eyes unfocused on the floor. She had refused his offer to accompany her to the estate alone, yet his voice still seemed to linger beside her.

Especially his words about willingly becoming her partner echoed in her ears. “Partner”—a word she had always despised—sounded more beautiful and sweet than anything when he said it.

Like sailors lured by the siren’s beautiful voice into the sea, Lily nearly succumbed but managed to resist.

Yet she didn’t refuse him entirely. Her reason shouted to refuse, but her heart screamed to accept, leaving her silent. Herald didn’t rush her, simply looking at her kindly, as if he could wait forever.

“…I need time to think.”

After long contemplation, Lily gave an ambiguous answer. Herald said nothing, merely nodding with a smile as if he understood everything.

“I’ll wait until you’ve made up your mind.”

Though it seemed like a gentle courtesy, Lily felt he was confident she would choose him. Knowing this, she couldn’t look at his face properly while boarding the carriage and couldn’t bid him a proper farewell.

She remembered she had promised to wash and return the handkerchief. Carefully, she took it from the inner pocket where she had kept it. The handkerchief, which someone must have painstakingly embroidered, was ruined by her tears.

Was it always so sad to tell him to stop seeing her and end the relationship?

“I don’t know.”

Her own heart was so confusing that she felt frustrated. She sighed deeply and fiddled with the wet handkerchief. She wondered if she could answer properly when she returned it. She didn’t even know how to respond.

The answer was already clear; her mischievous heart had grown too strong, silencing her.

Was it really mischievous? Lily closed her eyes tightly and covered her ears. But the questions in her mind didn’t disappear:

“Others, even Predic, have partners. Why can’t you? What’s wrong? Why is it mischievous?”

No, it wasn’t just questions—it was the devil’s whisper. Lily shook her head violently, trying to resist the sweet temptation of the devil whispering to her.

Meanwhile, the carriage continued steadily and soon arrived at Viscount Benjamin’s estate. Eager to wash in warm water and lie on a soft bed, Lily hurried to the bedroom.

Climbing the stairs, she felt prying eyes and stopped on the landing. Gripping the railing, she looked around to see servants whispering about her. Though she couldn’t hear their words, their expressions suggested it wasn’t pleasant talk.

Servants gossiping about Lily wasn’t unusual. A normal, uneventful day… yet today it felt unpleasant. Lily stared at them, and they cleared their throats, dispersing in all directions.

Was something really going on, or was it just her imagination? Her curiosity was finally resolved once she reached her bedroom.