MFGLT 02

Chapter 02

It’s My First Time Being a Lady, So I’ll Cause a Little Trouble

“Ugh, my stomach is killing me…”

I somehow managed to soothe my queasy stomach and got out of bed. My body felt stiff, and my head was pounding. I was in a terrible mood first thing in the morning.

“What kind of ridiculous dream was that…?”

Apparently, whatever I’d drunk in my dream hadn’t been tea but alcohol.

Otherwise, it made no sense that my breath reeked of alcohol and I was suffering from a hangover when I hadn’t even touched a drop of liquor.

On top of that, I’d woken up in a luxurious young lady’s bedroom rather than my own.

I need to hurry up, wash, and go change my clothes. If they find out I spent the night here, there might be a huge fuss.

Just as I reached for the doorknob, the door opened, and Bessie, the maid who shared my room, walked in.

Oh, no. I was doomed. It was already past six!

The servants of the Viscount Nezer household got up at five every morning to sweep and dust the house and prepare breakfast for the master’s family.

Since Bessie had appeared, it was clearly already time to wake the young lady. There was no excuse for my dereliction of duty.

“Oh my, my lady! You’re up early today!”

I wondered if she was being sarcastic, and I felt a flicker of irritation. But there wasn’t the slightest hint of reproach on her face.

Bessie smiled brightly as she brought over a basin of washing water and a towel.

“Since Ada quit, I’ll be attending to you starting today.”

“What are you talking about? Why would I—”

I absentmindedly lowered my gaze to the washbasin and froze.

Reflected in the clear water was not my face, but the young lady’s.

Wait a minute! So it wasn’t a dream?

“My lady, where are you going?”

Leaving Bessie behind, bewildered, I dashed out into the hallway.

I nearly collided with several startled servants, but I didn’t care.

“My lord!”

I burst into the viscount’s bedroom and shouted. The viscount and his wife frowned and sat up in bed.

“Ulpina, you’re old enough to know better than to—”

“That’s not the problem! Last night, I drank the tea the young lady gave me, and when I woke up, I was her!”

“…”

The viscount looked at me as though to say, What kind of insane nonsense is she spouting now?

“…Have you been drinking?”

“I did drink, but it wasn’t me! It was the young lady who drank the alcohol!”

“You little—!”

“Dear, calm down. Let’s wait until she sobers up before scolding her.”

Frustrated by the way they were treating me as if I were simply their immature daughter throwing a drunken tantrum, I ignored all considerations of rank and shouted again.

“I’m Ada! Ada Sillenen, Lady Ulpina’s personal maid! I drank the tea you gave me yesterday, and afterward, Lady Ulpina and I switched bodies!”

“What nonsense are you—W-wait! Could it be?!”

At my shocking confession, the viscount’s face suddenly turned deathly pale. He leaped out of bed and rushed over to a wardrobe.

He shoved it aside, revealing a hidden safe concealed in the wall.

The viscount hurriedly unlocked it, peered inside, and let out a shrill scream.

“It’s gone! It’s gone!”

“What’s wrong, dear?”

Curious, I leaned over the viscount’s shoulder and peeked inside the safe.

A bottle?

There was nothing inside except a single, empty, transparent bottle.

“The divine relic is gone!”

“What did you say?!”

The viscountess shoved her husband aside in shock and pulled the bottle out of the safe.

She shook it up and down and turned it upside down, but no amount of shaking could magically refill an empty bottle.

“How could this happen…?”

The viscountess sank to the floor, her legs trembling uncontrollably.

“Um… I’d really appreciate it if someone explained what’s going on to me, too.”

The moment I cautiously spoke up, both of them turned their piercing gazes on me.

“You!”

The furious viscount turned toward me.

His lips twitched as though he wanted to hurl a string of curses at me, but he managed to suppress his anger and explain.

“What was inside that safe was a divine relic known as the Spring of Wisdom.”

The Spring of Wisdom.

According to the viscount, it was a divine relic passed down through generations of the Nezer family. Legend had it that if two people drank from it, their souls would switch bodies.

And the only way to reverse the effect was for those two people to drink from the spring again.

There was even a legend that Emperor Rokan, the founding emperor of the Rodinia Empire, had used this very relic to save his life.

She used such a precious relic to make tea? Just to switch bodies with a maid?

I was dumbfounded by the young lady’s outrageous behavior, but there was no time to sit around blaming her.

“There might still be a chance!”

“What do you mean?”

“We didn’t drink all the tea brewed with the relic! We just need to find the young lady and make her drink the rest!”

At my words, the viscount urgently ordered the servants waiting outside.

“Bring Ada here immediately! And fetch the remaining tea from Ulpina’s room!”

Unfortunately, fate was not on our side.

“I’m afraid the tea has already been thrown away…”

When he heard that the divine relic had gone down the drain, the viscount collapsed to the floor and sobbed like the tragic heroine of a melodrama.

I couldn’t help shooting him a disapproving look.

I’m the one who wants to cry, so why is he bawling his eyes out?

The viscount had done a spectacularly terrible job raising his daughter, so why was I the one suffering the consequences?

“And apparently, Ada received her severance pay last night and immediately boarded a ship leaving the empire.”

“AAAAAH!”

My severance pay! My hard-earned money!

I’m the one whose hands are practically raw from working, so why does the young lady get to take my severance pay?!

“Both of you, stop this and get up. What’s done is done.”

The viscountess dismissed the servant and tried to calm us down, but it was no use.

“Ulpina, you little brat…”

“Waaaaah! My money! My body! Take responsibility! Take responsibility!”

Watching the viscount and me refuse to listen, she slammed her fist against the wall.

“Get. Up.”

Her fierce gaze felt sharp enough to pierce our skin. We reluctantly scrambled to our feet.

The viscountess spoke in a commanding tone.

“Unfortunately, we have to forget about the divine relic and Ulpina. Rather than waste our efforts on something impossible, we need to deal with the situation right in front of us.”

“But, dear…”

“Have you forgotten that the Count of Rosetti is holding a banquet in a week?”

At her reminder, the viscount’s expression changed as he suddenly remembered.

“And you.”

The viscountess turned her stern gaze toward me.

“From now on, you are Ulpina Nezer.”

“…Pardon?”

Me?

“But…”

“If you don’t become Ulpina, what do you intend to do? Are you going to work as a maid with that face? Or would you rather announce to the entire empire that the Nezer family possessed a divine relic?”

I felt wronged and furious, but she had a point.

Having unilaterally decided my future for me, the viscountess kept me by her side and launched an intensive crash course in becoming a noble lady that very day.

Becoming a noble lady was no easy task.

The most grueling part was memorizing the Nezer family tree.

“Who is this person?”

The viscountess pointed at a young man and asked.

“Um… my cousin?”

“He’s your great-great-uncle by marriage!”

“Oh!”

Great-great-aunt, exactly how young was the man you married?

“Sigh… All right, then. Who is this person?”

“My third maternal aunt?”

“I told you he’s your maternal nephew!”

“Why?!”

What kind of completely deranged family is this?!

A man in his twenties was the husband of my great-great-aunt, while a woman in her fifties was my nephew.

Thankfully, the older generations had a long history of cousin marriages, which made the family tree relatively simple and easier to memorize.

The real problem was the living relatives I needed to know about immediately.

And once I finished memorizing the family tree, I had to memorize the names of famous people listed in the Social Register!

I was huffing and puffing as I went back to studying the family tree when a warm, salty liquid began trickling from my nose.

I don’t have a cold. Did the young lady suffer from rhinitis?

As I sniffled and continued reciting the family tree, the viscountess pressed a lace-trimmed handkerchief against my nose.

“Keep that pressed there. It’s not a runny nose. It’s a nosebleed.”

While holding my nose shut and trying to cool my feverishly hot head, I heard the viscountess speak quietly.

“Ulpina, do you know why I’m pushing you this hard?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“The Count of Rosetti is my maternal cousin. And his banquets are famous for bringing together most of the prominent figures in high society.”

In other words, the guests invited to a banquet hosted by such an influential family would be incredibly important. If I behaved in an inappropriate manner, I would tarnish the honor of the Nezer family as well.

“I refuse to let that little brat Mirinda find fault with you and look down on us!”

“…Huh?”

If I remembered correctly from my studies, Mirinda was the viscountess’s cousin.

Oh, so THAT’S what this is about!

“The nerve of her, going around boasting that her daughter is engaged to a marquis!”

So it’s that kind of situation!

“Do you understand? Work hard and put that arrogant little brat in her place!”

After delivering a passionate speech, the viscountess gripped my shoulders tightly, her expression terrifying.

“Has your nosebleed stopped? Good. Then let’s get back to studying.”

Somebody save me!