Chapter 51. The Two at the Crossroads (4)
Himiad’s sharp voice sounded like that of a tired and angry person. It also seemed like someone overwhelmed by layers of exhaustion and unable to contain their irritation.
And indeed, she was in that state. Just having to enter the palace without being noticed by those hostile to her was unbearably humiliating.
Laila quietly watched Himiad, who rubbed her brows. The occasional angry sigh made her look like a child wondering how to scold after spilling a whole container of milk.
She’s just barely holding it back, Laila thought. I’m the one who overturned the milk she cherishes so much.
“What are you trying to do by using Eustar?” Laila asked.
Himiad’s fingers snapped away from her forehead. Had she not restrained herself, she probably would have lunged at Laila and strangled her.
“What are you saying?” Laila repeated.
“That I must not be there, that Eustar’s partner must not be a witch… Isn’t that because my being a witch is a weakness for Eustar? Why must he have no weaknesses? Because you need him for whatever plan you’re carrying out, Marquis, right? You need him to be perfect, flawless. Isn’t that so?”
Himiad’s face turned pale.
“How dare you say that.”
She spoke sharply, too excited to notice that her reaction only made Laila’s conviction stronger.
Himiad raised her voice again.
“How dare you say such a thing! Do you think I’m trying to use His Royal Highness the Crown Prince for my own selfish desires?”
“It might not be for your selfish desires,” Laila answered calmly. Himiad, however, was clearly very flustered. She never expected Laila to have such insight, or even to oppose her.
Himiad had to hold her ground to avoid fleeing from Laila’s unwavering gaze. For someone who always seized victory with thorough plans and bold execution, this situation was bewildering.
After a long silence, Laila spoke again.
“Does Eustar agree with your plan? Does he want this too?”
Himiad’s lips trembled.
“You’d better stop your insolent talk, witch.”
Calling Laila “witch” made Himiad feel an inexplicable discomfort. At the same time, she secretly shuddered at the sudden urge to cling to Laila, weep, and ask for help.
What on earth am I thinking? Like a child waking from a nightmare, about to run to her mother’s room… Suui?
No, she thought. I won’t do that. She straightened her posture and emphasized her words.
“This isn’t something you should meddle in.”
Laila sensed Himiad’s anxiety and aimless fear. Though she didn’t know how she could tell, she clearly felt the confused emotions coming from Himiad.
Laila said,
“Are you planning to overthrow the king and place Eustar on the throne instead?”
For a moment, Himiad heard Laila’s voice as if it were shouting loudly. She was so surprised she almost stumbled and fell backwards.
But the surroundings were quiet. No startled servants outside made a sound. Laila spoke softly enough that only Himiad, standing right in front of her, could hear.
Seeing Himiad’s expression, Laila nodded as if she already knew the answer. Then she stepped back a few steps.
“If that’s the case, then I suppose there’s no need to be so eager to drive me away, Marquis.”
“What do you mean by that?” Himiad asked urgently, her voice tense like someone caught stealing. It was less fierce than before, weakened somehow.
She was no longer the Marquis Himiad who ruled the royal officials. She was Suui, a child waking up crying from a nightmare. Only Laila could comfort her, soothe her back to good dreams with a reassuring touch.
Laila said,
“This wasn’t something I wanted either. I didn’t come here to get involved in this. But Eustar asked me. To follow the wishes of the King… His Majesty.”
“His Royal Highness the Crown Prince? That can’t be…”
“Go and ask him yourself. But everything I said is true. I won’t really become his wife. I don’t know what Eustar wants, but after he achieves it, I will leave. To a faraway place where no one can find me.”
A free place. Laila swallowed the last words silently as she looked at Himiad. Freedom! Such a desperate word, yet one that felt so distant.
True freedom, never once experienced, seemed like an absurd fantasy from a fairy tale.
Sometimes it felt so close she could almost grasp it — but then, with a blink, the unchanging reality would crash in like a wave, sweeping her dreams away.
But Eustar would make it happen, Laila thought. He wouldn’t break his promise.
Himiad glared at Laila with a face pale as white paper. Her hands hidden beneath her dress clenched into trembling fists.
“How can I believe you?”
“Whether you believe me or not won’t change anything. But I know who I am. Marquis, I know myself much better than you do. I understand my place, at least.”
At her words, Himiad felt a flash of shame — but it didn’t last long. She actively pushed the feeling away.
Himiad said,
“I will have Mel report to me everything about you in detail. Will you mind that?”
Laila chuckled.
“No matter what I say, you’d do that anyway, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes, that’s right. If Mel refuses, I’ll send someone else. I must keep you under my watch until I can feel safe.”
Laila blinked slowly. Her eyes, bright red like a fully ripened pomegranate, looked at Himiad sincerely.
“I don’t mind. Do as you wish. Again, whether you trust me or not, nothing will change. Until the last day.”
Until the last day. The phrase made a chill run down Himiad’s spine. She had no idea what Laila was waiting or hoping for.
“…Fine. I’ll try to trust you. At least I’ll pretend to.”
Laila nodded. Himiad spun on her heel and left the room without delay. Her hurried footsteps faded away… Laila collapsed onto the bed.
The tea had cooled. Laila stared blankly at the crumbling, drying castella cake, then closed her eyes and fell into a deep, fainting-like sleep.
—Creak…
A faint sound came from somewhere.
What is that? Laila thought with her eyes closed. It sounded familiar, but she couldn’t remember where she had heard it before.
—Creak… squeak…
Her body felt heavy, like cotton soaked in water, unable to move. Eyes shut, Laila tried to follow the sound.
At her feet? No, closer than that. It seemed to be moving, rising higher…
—Creak…
Laila’s eyelids fluttered. The sound was now coming from beside her head. It wasn’t going anywhere. It stayed there.
A rocking chair, Laila thought. A sudden thought, like a ray of light in a dark hole. The rocking chair from her house, her mother’s, slowly creaking back and forth.
But this isn’t home.
Why can’t I move?
A low moan escaped Laila’s lips. Her body, heavy as waterlogged cotton, now felt like a hard stone. The creaking sound continued, lingering by her head.
—Squeak… creak… creak, squeak, creak, creak!
“Laila.”
Laila’s eyes shot open with a scream-like breath.
Her body, lying face down on the bed, trembled. As she looked around, she moved her fingers, clutching the sheet slightly.
She thought the stiff joints would snap with a crack, but her fingers moved smoothly. Though fatigue made her consciousness fade, moving her body wasn’t difficult.
“Laila, are you okay?”
Eustar. Laila thought. His voice was close. Turning her head, she saw his face lit by a warm light.
“Eustar?”
“Are you okay? You seemed to be having a nightmare.”
Blinking in confusion, Laila slowly sat up and looked around.
“Why?”
Eustar asked. Laila realized she was still in the room and was suddenly embarrassed.
Outside the window was pitch darkness, and shadows pooled like swamps in places the lamp light couldn’t reach. It was clearly night now.
Laila said,
“Is it true that it’s dark outside now? Has night come?”
“Yes. You must have been very tired. You didn’t wake up at all, after all.”
I was tired, Laila thought. Himiad came to see her, and before that, she had to reach out to many unknown people, strangers. Until her fingers felt stiff and frozen.
Laila looked at Eustar with wide eyes. If this was the middle of the night and she was in her room, then why was he here?
“…Yes, I was tired.”
She answered, and Eustar smiled gently, as usual. His hand lightly touched her forehead, as if checking for fever.
“You must have been. I was tired too, but how much more tired must you have been?”
His palm felt cool and pleasant on her forehead.
Laila closed her eyes without realizing it. Eustar laughed softly and gently caressed her cheek. His smooth, neat fingers lightly brushed her earlobe and near her lips.
“Why did you close your eyes, Laila?”
