Chapter 76
âYou⌠didnât like His Grace the Grand Duke?â
At the unexpected words, my jaw dropped.
No, get a grip. If I make that kind of face here, sheâll think somethingâs wrong.
I quickly smoothed out my expression and gave a slow nod.
Waitâdoes that reaction seem strange, too?
âI knew it,â Renata said with a gentle smile, as if she had known everything all along.
âYes. Thatâs why it was so hard for me. I felt like people were pushing me into feelings I didnât have. Now I really donât know what I should do.â
Renata lowered her head, looking completely dejected.
ââŚâŚâ
I should say something. Thatâs supposed to be my role here, but my mouth just wouldnât open.
âWhat would be the right thing for me to do?â
âWell, I meanâŚâ
Forget it. Whatever.
âMiss, just do as you wish.â
ââŚWhat?â
âYou said you never liked your fiancĂŠ. If you were bound to someone you didnât even love, you wouldnât have been happy anyway.â
âThatâs true. Honestly, I like someone whoâs talkative, whoâs curious about everything I do, and who treats me warmly.â
So her ideal type is exactly the same here as it was back there.
âBut I havenât met anyone like that yet. If I had married His Grace the Grand Duke⌠I would have gained the position everyone envied, but I wouldnât have been happy.â
âHave you told your friend that you didnât love him?â
When I asked, Renata shook her head.
âNo, I couldnât. No one knows, actually.â
âOh dear.â
âI deceived myself and pushed my friend into a corner. I donât know if I can tell the truth now.â
Her golden eyelashes lifted and fell slowly as she closed and opened her eyes.
I kept silent, waiting for her to speak more of her heart.
âI couldnât break the engagement just because I didnât feel anything. So I tried to make it work. But the more time passed, the harder the Grand Duke became to approach.â
True enough. He wasnât exactly an easy person to get close to.
He didnât speak much, and when he did, his words always had weightâsometimes even barbs. His deep, heavy voice made it sound like he would never tolerate a lighthearted joke.
And that pale, smooth skin that seemed to exude cold airâŚ
âWhat the hell am I thinking right now.â
âTo be honest, when His Grace said he had feelings for Ribe, I was so happy. But strangely enough⌠I cried, like some tragic heroine. People all around pitied me, felt sorry for me. And in front of them, I had to act the part.â
ââŚâŚâ
âDo you understand how I felt?â
âOf course.â
âI suppose⌠I even enjoyed those pitying gazes. And now, after all that, I canât just go to Ribe and say we should be friends again.â
ââŚâŚâ
âI was in the wrong. If I had been honest from the start, Ribe wouldnât have been ridiculed, and I would have felt free too.â
And then, she began to sniffle.
âIâm sorry.â
âN-no, donât be.â
âBut now that Iâve said it out loud, I feel a little relieved. My thoughts feel clearer.â
And then she smiled brightlyâthe same fresh smile she had always shown me.
Should I reveal myself right now? Rip off this wig, wipe my face clean, and tell her itâs me?
No. I worked too hard for this.
Stay focused. I didnât come here to hear Renataâs hidden feelings.
If I act recklessly here, I might end up trapped in this world forever.
I want to go backâback to where Zerlach loves me.
I promised I would return.
Zerlach Cygnus. Yes, heâs waiting for me.
âMy lady.â
âYes?â
âIâm not usually one to deliver messages, butâŚâ
â?â
âThat person you mentionedâhe was here.â
Why did I say that?
Maybe because I wanted to find a way out of here. Maybe because I wanted to do somethingâanythingâfor Renata, who would remain behind after I left.
âMy friend came here?â
âYes. Why are you so surprised? Plenty of young ladies come and go from here.â
Renata stared at me with wide eyes.
I knew Eclaâs disguise was flawless, but still, I subtly avoided her gaze and continued.
âWhen misunderstandings run deep, sometimes a short written note is better than spoken words.â
âA note?â
âYes. If thereâs something you want to say to your friend, leave it with me. Iâll deliver it.â
âOhâŚâ
Maybe it was because I had Clemâs bookshop and Zerlachâs letters on my mind. I thought it was a good idea, but Renataâs expression wasnât as bright as Iâd hoped.
âHow should I even begin? Oh no⌠Iâm not good at writing.â
She grew restless, fidgeting like I had asked her to write it on the spot.
âJust calmly write what you want to say. The voice of your heart.â
Look at me, acting like an expert just because Iâve written a few letters before.
ââŚAll right. Iâll try writing one when I get home.â
âGood. And come back tomorrow at this time.â
âThank you. Truly, thank you.â
I wasnât sure if I deserved her gratitude, but I simply nodded.
â â â
After Renata left, I hurriedly wrapped up the long line of people waiting.
Then, transforming once more into Riberata, I rushed to Clemâs bookshop.
Had he seen my letter?
Would he believe everything I said?
Or would he think it was nonsense and ignore me completely?
Anxious thoughts plagued me as I wandered the shop.
Please let there be a letter.
I picked up The Tumultuous Life of Leoni from the shelf.
âThere it is.â
When I split the book in half, a neatly folded sheet of paper appeared.
I clutched the letter and stomped my feet in excitement.
I didnât know what it said yet, but just the fact that we could communicate this way filled me with joy.
So much joy I almost cried.
Now it was just a matter of whether Zerlach believed me or not.
I carefully opened the letter and squinted at it.
I skimmed quicklyâthankfully, I didnât see words like âliar,â âfraud,â or ânonsense.â
Phew.
I steadied myself and began reading from the top.
Yes, I really was shocked and bewildered.
I nodded, remembering the confusion when I first realized Iâd fallen into another world.
[*I believe everything youâve said.
I believe that you live and breathe within this little book.
And I believe in all of your heart.*]
Ahh⌠even his words are as beautiful as he is.
So this is what it feels like to be believed in by someone.
Even inside a bookshop, I felt as though a sweet fragrance was drifting in, and though the floor was hard, it seemed soft beneath my feet.
But my bliss ended there.
âWhat? Someone killed meâor imprisoned me?â
I froze at the words that followed.
âIf the me from The Tumultuous Life of Leoni ended up here, that means the me who was originally here was either killed or trapped somewhere.â
At that moment, I remembered what Ecla had said when I first arrived.
That I had been kidnapped.
So the one who was kidnapped⌠is either imprisoned somewhere or dead.
A shiver ran down my spine.
This confirmed itâsomeone had deliberately brought me here.
But who could it be?
At the end of his letter, Zerlach warned that I might be in danger, and that it would be better not to get involved. But I couldnât agree.
Iâm sorry, Your Grace, but I canât stand being indebted to anyone.
I tucked the letter into my chest and slid the book back onto the shelf.
âWho could possibly want to harm me?â
No matter how I thought about it, only Pailey came to mind.
I bowed politely to Clem, who was dozing at the entrance, and stepped outside.
And thenâ
âOh.â
I froze like a toy with dead batteries.
Because standing right in front of the door, looking down at me with a dry expression, wasâ
âYour Grace the Grand Duke.â
To my shock, the person I faced was Zerlach.
More precisely, the Zerlach of this worldâthe one I was meeting for the first time.
For a moment, I almost ran straight into his arms.
After reading that letter full of yearning words, after missing him so badly, after carrying his letter against my chestâhere he was.
Of course, I knew the man before me had nothing to do with the letter I had just read.
But I forced myself to stay calm.
Act normal. Just act normal.
âHello. I heard you went to Hornhagen for business.â
My heart was pounding, but I forced out the words as calmly as I could.
But his expression wasnât good.
No, to be more preciseâhe looked displeased.
âWhy are you here, my lady?â
Wait. Something was off.
The way he was looking at me⌠it was different.