LVSFN 42

Chapter 42

Jerelak wore an expression as if my reaction was only natural.

It seemed he thought I was surprised simply because I’d slept for two days.

‘The 13th? It’s already the 13th?’

Barely a minute after I had decided to live as I pleased, even if I were to die in two days, I was faced with another crisis.

In the end, I hadn’t been able to return to my original place, and if the astrologer’s words were true, I would vanish today.

What should I do now?

Now that I’ve come to want to live, just a little.

Now that I want to be by the side of someone who likes me.

Is it all just a vain hope?

As I fell into deep thought and said nothing for a while, Jerelak lazily spoke up.

“You seem disappointed not to have enjoyed the festival.”

Ha… yes… the festival.

Being too busy running and hiding to enjoy the festival—past or present, nothing had changed.

Still, I suppose things were slightly better now.

At least I wasn’t trapped in some dark underground prison.

“But, Your Grace, shouldn’t you go out?”

People must’ve come from all over. Besides, wasn’t this the first event Jerelak had hosted since arriving in Muiton?

There must be many who wanted to see him.

“It’s fine.”

“You might think it’s fine, but I’m sure your aide doesn’t.”

In my mind, I pictured Orie, running around drenched in sweat.

Jerelak chuckled lightly at my words.

“Nice try. But—”

Then he fixed me with a rather persistent gaze.

“I’ll stay by your side anyway.”

Uh… What’s with this strange, tingly atmosphere?

I turned my head away and cleared my throat a few times.

“H-How was the festival?”

“Well, I canceled everything.”

“What? Excuse me?”

I reflexively made a shocked face before realizing he was joking.

“Oh, come on…”

“Yes, I was joking. Still, with you lying unconscious, I couldn’t tell whether it was right to go ahead with the festival.”

“It’s an important day not just for the Empire, but for everyone. Of course, it should’ve gone on.”

When I glared at him, Jerelak turned his head and gave a small chuckle.

“You said you liked plays, didn’t you?”

“Plays?”

Ah, probably because of what I said at the amphitheater last time.

As I smiled awkwardly, Jerelak continued.

“We were going to stage both an opera and a play. Shame that it didn’t work out.”

“Really?”

“If you want, we can try to schedule another performance after the festival.”

But I didn’t know how to respond to that.

Because I didn’t know what would happen to me after today—or even what was happening now.

By this point, I really hoped everything that astrologer said had been a lie.

“Can’t I just go out now? I’m not even sick. I feel full of energy.”

If today were to be my last, I didn’t want to spend it lying in bed.

I’d rather go out—watch a play or an opera with Jerelak, anything.

“No.”

“I’m really fine, though.”

As I pouted, Jerelak gave me a slightly stern look.

“You seem to have forgotten, but you just woke up after two days.”

“…”

“You need absolute rest now. There’ll be a festival next year, and the year after that.”

Jerelak said “next year” so casually, but to me, those words felt incredibly heavy.

I didn’t even know what would happen tomorrow, and he was talking about next year?

I forced a bitter smile and nodded vaguely when suddenly, he pulled something awkwardly from his coat.

“What’s that?”

What Jerelak held out was a necklace with a bird-shaped pendant.

“A blessing for your today and tomorrow.”

Honestly, I didn’t understand the meaning until I took it in my hands.

Oh… this must be…

Only belatedly did I realize this was a blessing gift.

So this was how people exchanged sacred items on Saint Obenry’s Day.

“Thank you.”

I clasped the necklace in both hands and looked up at him—only to feel a pang of guilt.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t prepare anything.”

I hadn’t even thought about buying something.

Unable to meet his eyes, I lowered my gaze to the floor.

“Just being safe and alive is enough. I don’t want or need anything else.”

This time, a lump welled up in my throat for some reason.

“Thank you. I’ll treasure it.”

As I stared at the pendant, I felt my heart grow soft. Then Jerelak gently took it from my palm and undid the clasp.

I silently gathered my hair to expose my neck.

He leaned in toward me. As he carefully reached around my neck, a sophisticated, cool scent surrounded me.

Thump. Thump.

He was so close, I was afraid he might notice how hard my heart was pounding.

Then, just as I felt the cool touch of the pendant around my neck, Jerelak leaned back.

I raised my hand and gently touched the pendant.

It felt… strange.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Maybe if I had given it to you sooner, today wouldn’t have happened.”

Jerelak stared at me as he spoke again.

“From now on, it will protect you.”

“Thank you.”

My voice trembled as I said the words.

“Your Grace.”

Jerelak quietly looked at me.

His beautiful, noble reddish-brown eyes held only me.

“You might not believe what I’m about to say… and you might think I’m strange for saying it—or rather, I know you’ll think it’s strange…”

“…”

“But I have to say it today.”

I swallowed hard. Jerelak stayed silent for a moment, then looked at me more seriously.

“Did you find your answer?”

I hesitated, unsure what to say.

The truth was, I hadn’t found an answer. I just wanted to explain my situation, however vaguely—and if I were to disappear, I didn’t want him to be too shocked.

I didn’t want to say goodbye without any farewell.

Because I believed endings were far more important than beginnings.

Although, admittedly, things between Jerelak and me had started off wrong.

“No, Your Grace. I haven’t found an answer.”

I fidgeted with my fingers before continuing.

“You and I… were never meant to meet.”

I blurted it out, come what may—but Jerelak’s expression instantly grew cold.

“What?”

“That’s why I kept running and avoiding you. They said if I strayed from my destined path, misfortune would follow—and eventually, I’d disappear.”

“Disappear?”

Jerelak’s once calm eyebrows furrowed, and his voice sounded somewhat angry.

“Who said such nonsense?”

“I’ve tried so hard to return to my place, but everything kept going wrong.”

“Ribe.”

“I really did try. Ever since I realized I didn’t belong here. I didn’t want to ruin someone else’s happiness.”

No matter how much I struggled, I felt like I was trapped in someone’s palm.

Like a rat in a jar—I couldn’t escape or change anything.

So the only option left was—

“But none of that matters anymore. I just wanted to say—I won’t hide the fact that I like you anymore.”

“…”

“Even if a mountain of misfortune falls upon me, even if I disappear tomorrow… I’m going to do what I want.”

The truth is, I like you.

I’ve really come to like you.

After saying that, I found myself smiling.

Maybe what had made me so unhappy all this time was the so-called fate I believed in.

But if that’s what fate is, I refuse to accept it.

This is my life. I won’t let anyone else take control of it.

“So that’s why you said you don’t know who you are, why you’re here, or how you’re supposed to live?”

I silently nodded, and he reached out to gently cup my cheek.

“Thank you for telling me. You must’ve been struggling with that for a long time.”

His reply took me completely by surprise.

“Your Grace.”

“To be honest, you’ve never made sense to me from the start.”

“…”

“That’s why I like you.”

The moment his languid gaze met mine, Jerelak leaned in—carefully, slowly—and his lips came toward me.