#147. Why Are You So Sure of My Gaze?
Among the royal family of Kartian, it seemed no one had much interest in gardens. As a result, the garden of the Kartian palace was merely adequate—enough to maintain appearances.
In other words, it was nothing compared to the gardens at His Majesty’s palace.
But that didn’t matter. After all, what we wanted was a space where our conversation wouldn’t be overheard.
“I didn’t expect you to come.”
Thinking we had reached a suitable spot, I turned and faced His Majesty.
He looked at me without a trace of a smile.
“You thought I’d sit quietly while you took control of half the continent? You must have considered me rather insignificant.”
He seemed visibly displeased.
Hmm… if he had already seen through my plan, he must have also realized its scale. Could he be angry at my having lied?
But that wouldn’t explain why his arrival was slightly delayed.
“This doesn’t harm Rtail, does it?”
So I tried to gauge His Majesty’s mood indirectly, trying to figure out what might have upset him.
“As you know, I will not intrude upon Rtail’s territory.”
Of course, Rtail is the only empire on the Palosus continent. If I were to develop Lamore into an empire, Rtail might feel its hegemony on the continent threatened.
But there was no reason for them to feel any further threat. I have no intention of declaring war on Rtail directly.
And I believed His Majesty understood that perfectly well.
“Indeed, because you exist.”
I gave a small smile.
“I don’t fight losing battles.”
Perhaps because of my achievement of unifying the continent, or having spent half my life as a warrior, historical records often depict me as aggressive and reckless.
But I surprisingly do not enjoy gambling.
I know there’s no absolute victory or defeat in war, but there’s a difference between a fight with a chance of losing and a battle where defeat is inevitable.
I always approached war with certainty.
Unless something entirely unexpected happened, I fought believing I would win.
And after combining all the information I had, I concluded that even if Rtail and I were equal in power, I would have no chance of victory. Given the current disparity, defeat was inevitable.
Therefore, I do not wage war against Rtail.
The Palosus continent would be divided: Rtail’s sphere of influence and Lamore’s.
“But tell me this: if not that, is there no other reason for me to come here? If it’s not a threat to Rtail, do I have no reason to seek you out? Are we at a point where we cannot even fabricate a pretext to see each other without enmity?”
His Majesty deliberately closed the distance I had left.
His hand grasped mine firmly, yet it did not hurt.
“I thought you would no longer wish to see me.”
Yes. There was probably no real need for any pretext between us.
He had already declared his intention to court me, and I had not opposed it.
I merely assumed that now, if His Majesty wished to see my face, there must be a reason.
I assumed he would eventually lose all affection for me.
That he would not even want to see me.
And so I thought he would not cross this long distance to see me unless Lamore posed a threat to Rtail.
“Because, Your Majesty, you do not like war.”
A suppressed sigh escaped. I closed my mouth.
“That is why I thought you would no longer wish to see me.”
The tension eased from the fingers that had dug into my skin as His Majesty withdrew his hand.
His expression looked hurt.
“And yet, knowing that…”
I gave a bitter smile.
Ah, truly. I had no intention of making him wear such an expression.
“I see.”
No one would believe it, but really… I did not want to make His Majesty sad. I could endure his anger, yes—but sadness was something else entirely.
Because I had seen anger before. But His Majesty saddened by me… I did not wish to see such an unfamiliar expression now.
“Why?”
His voice was barely a whisper.
“Because you no longer wish to see me? Is this a variation of the poisoning incident? A scheme to distance me?”
I paused for a moment. What would happen if I admitted it? Would His Majesty simply abandon me, regardless of what I did?
“No.”
After thinking it through, the words that came out were the truth.
“Then why? Is this war worth that much?”
Worth… the word made me almost laugh. Can war truly have worth? Can uniting multiple countries hold meaning? Who can say?
“Well… I’m merely doing what I do best.”
Rtail is, of course, a physically large empire.
But Rtail did not unite all the nations under its influence. While it demanded allegiance and tribute, it left them as separate entities.
Even if one were to recreate an empire, such a method could be employed.
One could also pressure other nations diplomatically to gain the upper hand without actual combat.
But such methods were not my specialty.
I preferred to overwhelm with sheer force and skill, then issue my commands under the guise of diplomacy.
Placing bones in words, decorating political conversation with endless social expressions—these were not my style.
Was this war worth it? At least in terms of the probability of success it provided, yes, it could be said to be worthwhile.
No other method could guarantee success for me.
“Ahahaha…”
A dry laugh escaped His Majesty’s throat.
My statement might have sounded absurd, so I remained silent.
After a few rough, dry breaths, he looked at me again.
“Ah, yes. That is the reason you deem the risk worth taking. Simply because you excel at it.”
“Risk?”
I had no choice but to respond. Risk? Me?
Even if this war brought misfortune to half the continent, I was confident I would not be unhappy, leaving me dumbfounded.
“I am not unhappy.”
“Do you not look in a mirror?”
“Every morning.”
“And yet you do not consider the expression you wear? You think I would overlook your claim of happiness while wearing such a face?”
Expression? What expression was I wearing?
I raised my hand and smoothed my cheek. It seemed unchanged.
As always, my face seemed void of expression, indifferent.
“Well… I don’t know why you think I lie.”
I understood why His Majesty was angry. He did not enjoy war.
People cannot always enjoy what they are naturally suited for. His Majesty did not like war, punishment, or oppressive rule.
Precisely my field of confidence.
So I could accept his anger, even if it included blame for me. I had embarked on this course fully aware of all consequences.
“You have the same expression as when I last saw you.”
Yet this statement was hard to accept.
It was not merely that he disliked my actions, nor that my decisions caused political complications—it was as if he spoke as though he were worried about me.
And in no sense was I someone deserving of worry.
As if I were a fragile person, prone to regret and sleepless nights over my choices.
The person His Majesty knew was never like that.
“You did not look at me then.”
He referred to the last time of my previous life.
And I clearly remembered that when I rose from being prostrate, His Majesty had already turned his back.
I had bowed to the unseen Majesty and then withdrawn.
I later secluded myself at home and never saw him alive again.
Thus, he did not know what expression I wore at the end.
So his claim that my expression is the same now cannot be true.
“Do you truly believe that I did not see you?”
His fingertips brushed my cheek as he closed the distance again.
His touch was as gentle as if caressing the air.
“You always spoke of etiquette, keeping your gaze lowered most of the time we faced each other. Yet why are you so certain of my gaze now?”
His eyes pierced through me.
For the first time since receiving my second life, I longed for the formalities of lord and subject.
If I still had that excuse, I could have lowered my head and ignored that gaze.
