#107. How Long Could That Last?
For the first time since being granted this second life, I had an intense craving for alcohol.
Ha… if I could just down a whole bottle of Baekyeop-ju and fall into a dreamless sleep, maybe this frustration would ease a little.
Of course, I probably couldn’t find Baekyeop-ju here.
…No, perhaps it wasn’t impossible. The continents weren’t completely cut off from one another, so if I really wanted to, maybe I could get some.
I should ask Lady Melek. If I asked Pania, she’d probably scream that I wasn’t even old enough to drink yet.
Naturally, I couldn’t let anyone catch on to these thoughts. So outwardly, I only smiled gently.
“Don’t make such a face. I know very well that you’re only following orders from above.”
She wasn’t wrong. Countess Griff wouldn’t have insisted before the king that I absolutely had to become the Grand Duke’s mistress to protect the kingdom’s security.
Still, that only meant she wasn’t the one driving this plan.
Even if she hadn’t proposed it herself, in the end, the countess was still on their side.
The side that wanted to sacrifice me to secure their own safety.
Not so much sharing the same boat with me, but rather using me as the boat, so they wouldn’t drown themselves.
In that case, all I had to do was use the countess and the kingdom in turn, to make sure I didn’t drown either.
“To be frank, let me ask you this. Suppose I were to regain the Grand Duke’s favor. Realistically—how long could that last?”
I didn’t mention that His Majesty still favored me.
If we had completely cut off all contact as before, it would be different. But since a channel of communication had been opened, the kingdom would continue to interfere with me going forward.
They might even start to imagine that manipulating me could yield more benefits.
“That is…”
“Even a flower’s bloom doesn’t last ten days. Then how long could affection—once withdrawn—truly endure? Another ten years? Twenty?”
After all, even His Majesty’s deep devotion, which had lasted forty years, had eventually been taken back once.
So then, how many years of life did the affection poured onto ‘Blanche, the ordinary hostage,’ and not ‘the reincarnation of Lady White Lotus,’ truly have?
“And even if it did last a few years, would that be enough to satisfy the kingdom?”
Of course, Countess Griff couldn’t answer.
She had never even been allowed the freedom to think of such things. And the king surely hadn’t cared about them either.
If he had, he would have focused on gathering better intelligence instead of hastily sending me a tutor to ‘restore the Grand Duke’s affection.’
“As I said, Her Majesty the Empress still favors me. She is still young. But if I become the Grand Duke’s mistress, then naturally, Her Majesty’s favor will be withdrawn.”
Regardless of personal feelings, it would be unbecoming for the empress to stay close to her husband’s mistress.
She might even have me expelled from the palace entirely.
“So think about it—who would truly suffer more when the Grand Duke’s affection fades? Would it not be me, stranded here in a foreign land with no one to rely on?”
I subtly hinted that the kingdom had done nothing for me until now, but it didn’t seem to prick her conscience at all.
Ugh. People really had no shame.
“It’s not that I haven’t done the math. And when I calculated, it became clear that keeping the Empress’s favor was far more stable and far more likely to last. That’s why I obediently followed the Grand Duke’s words—even though that meant coming to the academy apart from him.”
Of course, it was all a lie.
I had never calculated anything about retaining favor. It had simply been my own choice to come to the academy alone.
But how would the countess ever know?
I had always been good at fabricating plausible-sounding reasons.
Besides, it was clear she didn’t even know the full details of what had happened in the imperial palace.
And judging from her expression, she seemed half-convinced. I sweetened my tone to ensnare her further.
She had come here under the pretense of safeguarding the kingdom’s security.
That meant she didn’t care if I was sacrificed for it—but neither did she want me sacrificed unnecessarily.
“I understand the kingdom’s perspective. They must have only heard that I was the Grand Duke’s playmate. So of course, when they heard I’d been separated from him, they panicked.”
Then, all I had to do was present another option. A middle ground that would look good for me and good for them.
“So after hearing this, please ask them to reconsider. Even with the Empress’s favor, the kingdom could still reap similar benefits—just not through the Grand Duke.”
“…I cannot guarantee what response they’ll give.”
The countess gave the expected defensive answer. I accepted it graciously.
“Of course. I understand well. Just as the kingdom knows nothing of the situation here, I know nothing of the situation there. Perhaps there really is some dire reason that would justify humiliating their princess by forcing her into the role of a mistress.”
She hadn’t flinched when I appealed to her conscience, but the moment I touched on national pride, she did.
I smiled faintly at the slight twitch in her shoulders.
She might not defy her king on my behalf—but for the sake of her kingdom’s pride, she might just push back.
After all, those trained to uphold strict etiquette and instruct others in it often carried a strong sense of personal dignity.
“So perhaps, there might be an option neither side has considered yet. Let’s try negotiating, then—until we reach a conclusion that satisfies both.”
I stopped there and gently rang the bell.
“Well then. Shall we have dessert? It’s from a famous shop. I wonder if it will suit your tastes.”
The countess, lost in thought, accepted the pudding à la mode that the servant brought in. Judging by her face, she was already planning a very passionate letter.
Hopefully the king was gullible, and hopefully the countess was eloquent. Scooping up the apple slice from the pudding, I thought such things idly.
“Think of this house as your own and rest comfortably. While I’m away, you’re more or less the mistress of this place anyway. I’ll be sure to tell the butler—yes, the same one you saw earlier in the drawing room.”
It was both praise and a pointed reminder that Tula’s position here was ‘butler.’
Unlike a nanny, who only tended children, a butler oversaw the entire household, ranking high among the servants.
In other words, don’t stand her up and scold her again like you did earlier.
If she understood and treated Tula with the respect due to that position, then I wouldn’t need to spirit the child away. But if she tried to use Tula for power games with me, then I’d have to remove the girl immediately.
I had extended an olive branch. Whether she took it was her choice.
After ushering the countess into her room, I gave Tula a few instructions and left the townhouse.
My mind was tangled. I wanted to walk and think, but it was already too late at night.
So I had no choice but to lean against the carriage window and think while the cool night air passed me by.
Broadly speaking, I had two choices.
I could do as His Majesty had suggested—make the kingdom a vassal state. Or I could do whatever it took to maintain the current balance, and keep a symbiotic relationship with the kingdom.
Of course, if I threw aside responsibility, the easier path was the first.
If I seized supreme power for myself, then I wouldn’t have to care about anyone else’s eyes.
The problems caused by the fact that their supreme ruler resided in the Empire rather than in the kingdom would not fall on me—they would fall on the kingdom’s people.
“But precisely because of that… I hesitate.”
After all, it wasn’t the common people who had decided to sell me off. The problem lay with the royal family.
Because of that, I didn’t want to choose the first option. But for the very same reason, choosing the second option right now was also not ideal.
Because whether the supreme ruler was stuck abroad or an ignorant puppet installed at home, either way it was a recipe for internal collapse.
So in the end, this wasn’t a decision I could make yet.
I needed to learn more about my so-called homeland first. Only then could I choose. For now, the option wasn’t even on the table.
“…I need information first.”
No matter how far I traced the lines of thought, they all converged here: I had to investigate the kingdom.
The next step, then, was to find someone who could bring me information about it.
But among my current acquaintances, there was no one familiar with Lamore Kingdom.
Did that mean I had to wait until the school break at least? I tapped my fingers on the carriage handle impatiently—until suddenly, an answer flashed in my mind.
“…Perhaps the Heormich family has something?”
