Chapter 54
“I Said I’m Fine”
‘He must be angry, after all.’
Aidan found himself recalling last night.
No, he didn’t want to remember—but the memory came unbidden.
‘Aidan, you’re a complete piece of trash.’
Yes, their marriage had been a contractual one… but it was still their wedding night.
And yet, he had passed out on the bed—leaving his bride to curl up and sleep on the sofa.
On the surface, that was already bad enough, but in truth, there had been a bigger problem.
He had pushed her away, only to drunkenly want her again, and then pushed her away once more.
If he had explained beforehand—if he had warned her—she would have understood. She would have agreed.
Instead, he had seduced her while she was unsure what to do, only to heartlessly reject her afterward.
He could still see it—her eyes flaring with confusion and hurt as she recoiled.
She’d tried to mask it with a cold expression, but the injury in her gaze had been unmistakable.
‘She never refuses me. She doesn’t come to me on her own, but if I approach, she doesn’t step back.’
Was his face and body really that attractive to her?
‘Ha. And she even said that was fine. She’s insane.’
She had told him she liked his face and body—and he’d found himself… oddly okay with that.
No one had ever said such a thing to him before.
In the past, people had always flinched away from his face, their wariness mounting until they avoided him entirely. Aidan had never cared—never even thought about it.
The Grand Duke of the Ice Wall was a figure meant to inspire fear, after all.
And his body… he had built it for protection and violence, nothing else. To suppress enemies by force.
A weapon. No different from a sword honed to a deadly edge or a cannon kept oiled to prevent rust. A tool of quality, yes, but still a tool.
Yet she had said she liked his body.
Every time her delicate hands clung desperately to his shoulders, he’d begun to feel—maybe his body had value as more than a weapon.
Not as a duke. Not as an object. But as a person.
If it were up to him, he would go to her again and again.
Draw her close, and she would respond. Hold her, and she would begin to want him in return.
That tender, aching sensation… it made him feel as though he would lose his mind.
But now it was gone. And it would keep slipping further away.
Because she had decided it would.
She must have resolved not to accept him, even if he approached.
Keeping his distance from her—that had been his own wish, his own plan.
And yet, already, he felt the tight grip of loss constricting his chest.
The biting northern wind, which had never before bothered him, now prowled restlessly at the edges of his awareness.
Suddenly, he thought of Brody.
The clatter of bowls being cleared away quickly faded, leaving the two of them sitting once more in silence.
Far off, the muffled voices of soldiers rose and fell in the still night air.
He glanced back to see Brody hunched in on herself, staring into the campfire. Her pale face looked unbearably cold.
Aidan hesitated.
If he wrapped his cloak around them both, she would be much warmer.
But… was that okay?
Shivering, she unconsciously leaned closer to the fire.
Too close—soon the heat would become unbearable, and she’d have to pull away.
The warm food they’d eaten earlier hadn’t been enough; the chill kept seeping back in.
She tugged her blanket tighter, curling into a small ball.
It was too cold to lie down, so she figured she’d spend the night half-dozing in that position.
Well, she’d once slept on horseback—this wouldn’t kill her.
Feeling how much she was adapting to this world, Brody let out a faint, bitter laugh.
‘Sitting is fine… but it’s too cold.’
Maybe the northern folk could bear it. Or maybe the knights were simply too tough to care. Either way, if they didn’t feel this cold, they couldn’t possibly understand her suffering.
She bit her lip hard, trying to still her trembling.
If she didn’t, her chattering teeth would be loud enough for Aidan to hear.
‘Cold… so cold…’
She squeezed her eyes shut.
And suddenly, she was back in that warehouse.
I’m scared.
It hurts.
I want to live.
And after everything I’ve endured… this is all I get?
I haven’t done anything for myself. Not yet.
She had always been alone—not just physically trapped in that place, but in life.
Her family leaned on her but never gave her a place to lean in return.
She’d been too busy to make even a single close friend.
She’d told herself it would end someday, that she just had to hold out.
She hadn’t imagined this would be the ending.
With frozen fingers, she aimlessly scrolled through novels on her phone.
‘Cold… and lonely.’
Her vision blurred; drops fell onto the dimly glowing screen.
“Brody.”
“…!”
She jerked her eyes open—not to the blue glow of a phone screen, but to the orange light of the campfire right in front of her.
Startled, she leaned back quickly.
And saw Aidan’s large hand braced where her head had just been.
She must have been nodding off, leaning forward—about to fall into the fire. He’d caught her in time.
Her pale face and wide pupils trembled.
Cold was frightening, but so was fire.
Shaking her head, she tried to banish the memory.
Then she saw Aidan’s concerned expression and realized what had happened.
“Are you all right?”
“I-I’m fine. I just nodded off for a second…”
Her cheeks flushed.
Her earlier gloom gave way to embarrassment.
Why did this keep happening—nearly falling into the fire, and letting him see it each time?
Well… if he hadn’t seen, I’d have been roasted. But still…
She brushed her hair forward to hide her burning face.
Aidan’s expression hardened. She didn’t look fine at all, yet she kept insisting she was. He knew he had no right to resent that—but still… did she really need to hide her condition so stubbornly?
His brow furrowed deeply. In a low, grim voice, he asked:
“…Won’t you come here?”
She glanced at him from behind her hair.
He had made space in front of him, gesturing for her to move closer.
Why’s he scowling like that? No thanks—I’m not going to be grateful for an invitation that sounds like an order.
She turned away sharply. “I’m fine.”
“…But it’s dangerous. And you look cold.”
He wasn’t wrong.
If she dozed off again, she could fall into the fire. But she also couldn’t move far away without freezing.
If no one was around, she could sprout plants to tie herself in place—but that wasn’t an option now.
The helplessness made her oddly resentful.
When she stayed silent, Aidan made up his mind.
He lowered his voice so only she could hear.
“Don’t think of it as a burden. We’re in a contract for each other’s sake. If you get sick or hurt, that’s bad for me too.”
“….”
That was true. She’d insisted on the contract, after all.
But for some reason, his words only made her expression turn frostier.
“Oh… I see. Right. Of course.” She gave him a bright, brittle smile. “I’m still fine.”
“But… your body—”
That body, body, body! It wasn’t as though she was about to freeze to death. If she were, she’d do something about it herself. All she had to do was make it through the night. Did he think she couldn’t even manage that? What was he, her babysitter?
She knew he was worried—but that vague, hovering kindness felt more cruel than anything else, and irritation flared.
“I said I’m fine!”
“….”
She hadn’t even raised her voice much—but in the still northern night, it carried sharply.
Murmurs from nearby tents faded into silence.
Realizing she’d disturbed everyone, Brody bit her lip.
“I’m sorry, I—”
But before she could finish, Aidan stood abruptly and walked away.
She stared after him, stunned.
Messy.
She had drawn the line between them for the sake of working together smoothly. That had been fine. But to let her emotions run over like this…?
What would the knights think? That the lady from the central lands—the so-called goddess—was here to cause trouble?
Her thoughts spun. Anxiety from the princess, the biting cold—it all seemed to conspire to grind her down.
She curled in on herself and pulled her hood low.
She wouldn’t cry. Absolutely not.
Biting her lip, she pressed the feelings down.
She’d just have to do better. Make up for this. She had to.
She was steeling herself when—thunk!—a sound came from beside her.
Startled, she nearly bit her lip through. What was that?
Thump, thump, thump. A steady rhythm, right beside her.
She couldn’t help but look up.
‘…What the hell?’
Her eyes widened.
A tree had appeared beside her.
No—been planted beside her.
Aidan had apparently gone into the nearby woods, uprooted a tree of suitable size, and planted it next to her.
She could only gape as he scratched the back of his neck.
“Lean on this to sleep. Hmm… if you’re still worried, you could tie yourself to it. That way you can stay close to the fire safely.”
“….”
He set down a water skin beside her—it was warm again, freshly filled with hot water.
“Hug this. If it cools, tell me—or… ah, there’s a pot there. If there’s no water, just pack it with snow and boil it.”
His voice was calm and matter-of-fact, but his eyes flickered.
Brody noticed—he was tense, worried she might find it all a burden.
She bit her lip again—not to hold back anger this time, but tears.
She’d been angry because he was kind. Now she felt like crying because he was kind.
But when she still didn’t answer, Aidan’s expression grew uneasy. Not this either? Then what?
And as he fretted in silence, faint sounds began to gather around them.
The knights were approaching.
