Episode 45
“Hi.”
It was Haylen, one of the people put under disciplinary confinement. He looked no different from usual as he greeted her. The light and carefree appearance she had seen at the banquet felt like an illusion.
“Oh, I forgot I still had gifts to sort. I’ll go ahead inside.”
With that, Gina scurried off like a startled mouse. The gifts had already been sorted. Ephelia hadn’t opened them—Gina had, and she had carefully unwrapped each one and listed them. So the “remaining gifts” were only an excuse. Ephelia couldn’t bring herself to look at Haylen.
“You’re not even gonna say hello?”
She would have preferred if he scolded her, but he didn’t.
“Hm? You’re not going to talk to me? I’ll be hurt.”
Hurt by something so trivial? Wasn’t he angry that what she said at the banquet put him in a difficult position?
“How are you out already?”
She had just seen the emperor and had her confinement lifted. But even if the message of her release had been delivered immediately, there was no way Haylen could arrive at the Emerald Palace as fast as she did. The timing made it impossible.
“You and Father only had one thing to talk about anyway. So I slipped out early.”
Meaning he already knew Ephelia had been invited to tea. If she had met with the emperor alone, it wasn’t hard to guess the topic.
Even if it had been a casual invitation, the emperor couldn’t keep both the crown prince and the prince under confinement for too long. That issue was bound to come up. So the moment he heard it, he had left.
“Wow, thanks. Thanks to you, my confinement ended early.”
Still—what would he have done if his release hadn’t been approved? If he had been caught leaving, he would have been punished further for insubordination. Of course, he must have been confident, but she still found it absurd. Ephelia stared at him, speechless, and Haylen only shrugged.
“What if you get caught and they put you back in confinement?”
“You’ll get me out again.”
His shamelessness made her laugh. She liked that about him. When he was around, she could forget her heavy worries, even for a moment. With Haylen, she felt like she could breathe.
A refuge, a shelter, a breathing space—it didn’t matter what word she used. His unchanged presence gave her comfort.
“Let’s go inside.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve been stuck in a room for days. Now that I’m out, you want me to go back in? How cruel.”
He had a point. Imagining active Haylen wilting indoors like a mushroom grown in the dark made her chuckle. Ephelia nodded.
“Want to go for a short walk?”
“Sounds good. And make me tea.”
“Me? Personally?”
“Why, don’t want to?”
“It’s not that, but I’m bad at brewing tea.”
“You really were terrible. …Still the same?”
When she lived with her foster parents, she rarely drank tea. They would dry herbs they picked and boil them as a tonic. The mildly bitter taste had startled her at first, but she’d grown used to it. Now she missed it terribly. So her tea brewing skill had only gone backwards.
Haylen, carefree but picky about taste, complained every time he drank her tea. Yet he still insisted she make it for him.
The perfectly manicured garden was beautiful—no overgrown leaves, the flowers never straying from their assigned places. There had been a time when all of this felt normal. But Ephelia had seen wild forest paths and flowers that bloomed wherever they pleased.
All this order pressed down on her. She hated the palace, the social world, this entire world. Now she understood why. Here, she felt lonely.
When this world was all she had, she had no choice but to cling to it and live within it. But now she had experienced another life. She knew there was another way to live.
Here, only Haylen gave her peace. Not as free as outside, but with him, she could breathe—just like before.
“Why did you do it?”
“Hm? Do what?”
“At the banquet. You didn’t need to go that far. What were you thinking?”
Thanks to him, she managed to get away from that situation. She knew he did it for her. But it was dangerous. Challenging his elder brother—the crown prince—so openly was no small thing.
Haylen was quiet for a moment.
“Why did you say you’d accept becoming the crown princess? You said you didn’t want that.”
He had acted because of what she said. For her. But she crushed his sincerity.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be. I’m not sorry.”
He had that strange ability to speak shamelessly as if saying something perfectly natural.
“You have no reason to apologize.”
“I acted without your permission.”
“But you did it for me.”
“That still doesn’t mean I should’ve done it.”
He said he wasn’t sorry, but she knew that wasn’t true. Even though he did it for her, he felt guilty. Her heart tightened.
“…I have circumstances.”
It was all she could say. She was too emotionally exhausted to explain anything more. And after what he did at the banquet, how could she ask anything of him again? She was scared of what he might do next.
If Haylen helped, something might be solved. But that would mean turning against Regios completely. So Ephelia couldn’t explain.
“Did my brother do something?”
Understanding that she couldn’t speak further, Haylen let out a deep sigh.
“My brother… he’s awful, isn’t he?”
“Yeah. Truly awful.”
Ephelia replied lightly.
“He’s been rotten since we were kids.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
He was cruel now, but he hadn’t been then. She wasn’t defending Regios—just correcting the facts.
“No, it’s true. I’m his brother. I know better. You have no idea how cold he was.”
“Regios?”
Of course, Haylen knew better. But the image in Ephelia’s memory was different.
“Yep. Girls used to chase after him all the time. He always kept a strict distance. Some of them cried.”
“Our memories are completely different. In mine, he was kind.”
She remembered the first time she met him—kind and warm. The precious memories he gave her had kept her alive. Even though the coldness that followed lasted longer, she clung to those early memories.
She believed someday he would return to that person, that he would love her again.
But that was wrong. He had never loved her.
Then what were those warm memories? Why had he been kind to her? Ephelia couldn’t understand.
“Well…”
“Well?”
“I don’t really know either.”
“What kind of answer is that?”
Ephelia laughed weakly. Even his own brother didn’t understand Regios. No wonder she couldn’t.
“If something is troubling you, you can tell me. Even if my brother forces something on you, tell me. I can protect you—from him. I’m a prince, after all.”
That was what she feared most. She didn’t want Haylen harmed or disadvantaged because of her.
“I don’t want to trouble you.”
The favor he already did at the banquet was more than enough. She couldn’t drag him further into her mess.
“So you still don’t want to be crown princess?”
She couldn’t answer. But she couldn’t deny it either, because it was true.
“If you want to run away from becoming crown princess…”
“Yeah.”
Was he telling her to just run away? That he would cover for her? Haylen could make that happen. But Ephelia couldn’t take that risk.
Her foster parents’ lives were on the line. Their safety mattered more than her freedom—even if she could never see them again.
She didn’t think Regios would harm them, not really. But she couldn’t leave even the smallest chance.
“I mean… what about me?”
Ephelia instantly understood. He said it casually, but she knew what he meant.
Choose me instead of Regios.
That wasn’t something one said lightly. It wasn’t friendship anymore—the feeling was too deep, too full.
Ephelia hadn’t realized until now, but she knew that feeling’s name.
Love.
And love was the emotion she feared the most.
Her last escape route closed off.
